Sure, it was in Japan but the Fireworks are AWESOME! Happy Fourth of July, Students! As a former priest from my parish once hold me...Have a Fifth on the Fourth (but don't drink and drive).
Not much to say and I did not ask for any introduction this week...so welcome! Welcome to the latest column "From the Desk of Mr. V". I am Anthony J. Valvo, one of the most famous "Mr. V"s in the world! And YES, it is still my summer vacation. It is going by pretty fast so far. It will be the school year before you know it.
Well, students it will be the same this week. I will finally get to the homework from a couple weeks ago. Also I will find a couple headlines and provide a take and send those responsible for the headlines to either detention or they will earn a Gold Star. Also there will be a new Honor Roll with some names I can't believe I actually typed, but those matches were solid.
Finally, a lot of you asked where the Eternal Detention was in my columns and that they missed it. With that said, the Dunce Cap of Doom is gone and we are bringing back The Eternal Detention!
Have a seat class and make sure your wiped your feet. Enjoy a beverage and keep your eyes on the computer screen. It is time for the 76th Installment of "From the Desk of Mr. V".
Quote of the Week
"I've wined and dined with kings and queens, and I've also lived on pork n' beans." -Dusty Rhodes
Originally I wanted to just go with the Cody Rhodes "Dashing" line, but I decided on a quote from someone more famous than the "Dashing" one. Instead, I went for "The American Dream" because that is something that not only myself, but my students go for once they enter the classroom. Remember class, as I tell my real-life students "Dream Big". May you all be the ones that "wine and dine with kings and queens", and look dashing doing that.
1) Visa...It's everywhere you want to be (just don't tell some WWE guys that)
The Story: When Teddy Long let Drew McIntyre go after his brutal match with Matt Hardy due to his visa issues, he was not lying. When the "Raw GM" stated via Mac Computer that Wade Barrett was pleading his case to WWE officials, it (because a computer is a thing, look it up) was lying. And besides, if any Nexus guy would plead the group's case it would be David "This ain't diet" Otunga, right? I mean, didn't he graduate from Harvard Law School.
In case you need to know what a "Visa" is, I have posted a link for you:
No, we are not talking about a credit card here. This is a pretty serious issue that I do hope resolves quickly. Now I hear that Sheamus may have issues to with his work visa. So right now, three important parts to the WWE puzzle are potentially going to be off TV (Sheamus is just a rumor by the way and has not been confirmed at the time I released this to Adam) for a very long time.
With Drew McIntyre, it may do him well for the time off. I think that McIntyre 's character was good, but his wrestling was subpar until last Friday. Who knew that one would get heat when Matt Hardy is under attack? McIntyre is not as bad as I wrote him out to be these past months, he just needed something to get him off television.
Wade Barrett and Sheamus could be a huge blow. If Sheamus' rumor is true (credit: Wrestling Observer and WrestleView) this will put the WWE Raw Brass in a frenzy. The Raw creative team is already writing things on the fly and adding the current WWE World Champion to that would be a huge blow. Sheamus is a big deal now whether fans like it or not. He has defeated John Cena twice (one in a Fatal 4-Way and the other a Tables Match), took out HHH, and is featured now more than ever. I hope that Sheamus can get everything set up before this becomes an issue.
Wade Barrett's absence will be missed by the Nexus group. The WWE really wanted to focus Nexus on Daniel Bryan and Wade Barrett. Bryan got released because of who knows what and now they were thrown a curve with Barrett's visa issues. So that leaves who as the leader of Nexus? Otunga? I don't know but I think they did a pretty good job without him in attacking the WWE Legends. However, the segment went by slow and it got average quick. Nexus needs Barrett to talk to them because hearing Heath Slater bark orders did not make this work too well.
So, I don't really have much other than that. What I can say is that all three men who have issues are crucial parts to the WWE. Drew is in a big storyline with power, Sheamus is your company's champion, and Barrett is the mind of the most shocking storyline in WWE right now. I hope that all three talents get the issues resolved shortly.
2) The NXT Poll is in and I have a LOT to say.
Let me just provide some comments on the first poll for NXT Season 2.
#1 is Kaval (1-2) – Cole said the Internet helped him out and I for once agree with Michael Cole. Kaval has been very impressive. He fought a heck of a match with Alex Riley that earned "Distinguished Honors" a week ago and performed well again Eli Cottonwood. He got a win in a tag team contest in which he got the pin on Riley thanks to Warrior's Way. I think he is very impressive with his leg strikes, but he needs upper body moves and that will be tough being the smallest guy in NXT. Though I have been pleased I just don't think he is going to be #1 at the end of this season. Right now though based on what the others have done, it is hard to dispute that he is the top wrestler now.
#2 is Percy Watson (1-1) – The only reason why he is #2 is because of WWE Universe fan voting. Out of all the rookies, he is the most charismatic. He has fun in the ring and sold real well in his brief time so far. However, out of all the NXT rookies he has yet to wrestle one-on-one and relies on MVP a bit too much. I think he has staying power, but will have to be better in the ring in order to maintain his spot. He may not deserve the #2 ranking, but he could be a darkhorse winner because the wrestling fans do like his energy.
#3 is Michael McGillicutty (3-0) – So far, like his father once was, McGillicutty is "perfect". He is the only NXT rookie undefeated so far and it is hard to dispute him at #3 right now. He was impressive in his match with Kofi against Mark Henry, but then we did not see much of his offense since his opening match on NXT. He may have the most innovative finisher on NXT and can strike it out of nowhere. However, in his last two matches he seemed like he can't find that control in the ring. I saw this guy in FCW and it was the same thing. He would take a beating, then come out charging. He has kept to his guns now and I think the #3 spot is well deserved for now. He still has a strong shot at winning this competition.
#4 is Alex Riley (2-1) – To the WWE Universe I got to ask one thing. Why is he ranked this low? Is it because he is paired with The Miz? Is it because he is perfect with his "high school bully" gimmick? Is it because he has done everything he could do so far in NXT? He has been the most impressive so far in his matches. I don't have a grade for him lower than a C+ and that is a good thing. The only reason he lost his six-man tag was because McGillicutty hit his neckbreaker and Kaval hit Warrior's Way. The only bad thing I must type about him is that he comes off "dorky" at times when he talks to Matt Striker. That is it. He does not deserve to be #4, he should be much higher. He is my pick to win this competition and I am not backing down on this right now.
#5 is Lucky Cannon (1-2) – The WWE Universe got this wrong again. Cannon has the look to be the NXT winner, but he was dominated by Cody Rhodes ("Dashing") in his only one-on-one bout that did not even last five minutes. I am sorry, but I am reading up my notes on Cannon and all I can say is that he can hit a dropkick and take down opponents well. But overall as much as it pains me to type this, I have not been impressed with his work on WWE television. I honestly don't see him being ranked any higher than this unless he wins more immunity challenges.
#6 is Eli Cottonwood (2-1) – Cottonwood is terrible. I thought The Great Khali was bad, but at least he has some charisma. John Morrison can only do so much with Cottonwood and I am sure he has the potential. But he is the oldest man on this NXT roster and he is nowhere close to the guys ranked ahead of him. I think he survived this week because of the popularity of his pro. Had Cottonwood been teamed up with a heel he would have been the first to go.
#7 is Husky Harris (0-2) – I don't understand the hate on him. Why is he ranked so low? He had a pretty good showing when he wrestled Percy Watson and was very good against MVP (in which I give MVP some credit for letting Harris show off his offense). He is very quick for his size. He is very aware in the ring as well. Watch his matches and explain to me why he was not picked higher. He may not have the look to be a WWE Superstar, but I think this guy can be a solid mid-card guy and may win a Tag Team Championship if he is paired up with the right guy.
#8 is Titus O'Neil (0-3) – There he is...Mr. Irrelevant! I want to try to defend this elimination, but I can't. The man was outmatched by the seven ranked ahead of him. He really struggled in his match with McGillicutty. He displayed raw power potential during his one month run on NXT, but this was the right call. Let's face it, he started training in FCW less than a year ago and having Zack Ryder as a pro did not help his cause either. Those variables alone hampered his chances and now he can go back to FCW and develop down there. He was not made for WWE Programming and it may take at least two years until we see him again.
So, what is Mr. V's Poll you ask? I am glad you asked that question.
1) Alex Riley 2) Kaval 3) Husky Harris 4) Michael McGillicutty 5) Percy Watson 6) Lucky Cannon 7) Eli Cottonwood 8) Titus O'Neil
3) "They" made me discuss this topic.
I had a few questions asking me what "they" meant. "They" is what Abyss was talking about to Hulk Hogan last Thursday on TNA Impact. Hogan asked Abyss why he attacked Jeff Hardy and Mr. Anderson. Abyss' response was "They" told me to. "They" told him that Hogan was not needed. "They" are here to take TNA over. The Abyss almost made Hogan choke on his own ring and attacked him until Rob Van Dam and Mr. Anderson saved Hogan.
So, who are "they"? Could it have anything to do with Tommy Dreamer, Raven, Rhino, Stevie Richards, and the other Extreme Championship Wrestling Version 1.0 roster members? Could it be Mick Foley? Could it be the people to kidnapped Samoa Joe months back? Is "they" The ECW Invasion?
Let's say "they" is ECW 1.0. I am not sure about this, but if they sign Shane Douglas to a pay-per-appearance deal then I will be sold that it is ECW. There lie many questions here. If Paul Heyman does sign with TNA and be the mouthpiece for this ECW 1.0 faction I will be a fan of this. If Heyman is not, the faction means nothing right now.
If ECW 1.0 is going to take TNA over, it won't generate ratings. Some of my readers know that I listen to radio shows outside of WrestleView Radio and I will admit to that. I listened to Anthony "Don Tony" DeBlasi and he said that when ECW actually had a show on The New TNN back in the day it did not generate more than a 1.2 in the ratings. So what make the average wrestler want to watch a bunch of solid wrestlers that are past their prime? The only way this could work is to bring in some newer guys to this faction, as in don't make this all former ECW wrestlers. I read Badseed's Bottomline and was impressed with the column on how they could change TNA forever. Please read this piece, as I found it to be one of the best columns I have read in a long time.
So, in case my readers were wondering I really believe "they" is the old ECW talents. I don't like the idea on paper, but then again I did not like the 1999 St. Louis Rams to win the Super Bowl and I was wrong. So let's just watch and enjoy. Who knows, maybe "they" will in fact change TNA forever.
Ryan Clark – He may be the first person to go from Detention to Eternal Detention in the very same column. This moron decided to plagiarize rather than ask the source for his information. It happened to a good friend of mine who had good pictures on WrestleView and his doofus copied it and called it his own. This will be the only time I give him more than just a few words in each of my columns. Ryan Clark...Eternal Detention.
All WWE Programming outside of Friday Night Smackdown – Look, I have to give the creative teams of Superstars, NXT, and Monday Night Raw a detention here. Now let me explain why I did what I just did for a moment. RAW has something special going with Nexus, The Mystery GM, and slew of main-level talent. NXT has some tremendous up-and-coming talent. Superstars, well, they do what they can to elevate talent that would normally get buried on Raw or Smackdown. However Smackdown raised the bar with their show on June 25. The hours went slow and I felt somewhat short-changed with these show, but Smackdown really laid some great groundwork see my honor roll in a few moment and you will see how much I enjoyed Smackdown from a wrestling standpoint.
Dixie Carter – Focus on "the Focus of TNA", not on Facebook or Twitter. No more hollow promises, because your "change" reminds me of a chocolate Easter egg that has is hollow. It brings back painful memories.
Bulls Eye Bar-B-Q Sauce – For making fun of Sweet Baby Ray's. It's not Baby Ray's fault that their BarBQ Sauce is delicious. Don't relay that to Jim Ross, his BBQ sauce is awesome as well.
TNA Creative – My mind is spinning from all the heel/face twists and turns. I hope over the summer it tones down. Actually, the Victory Road card looks interesting.
Starbucks – You are on here because your iced coffee is subpar and expensive!
WWE kids who cheer for John Cena (From Josh Tomayko) – Well, hey. It is for the students, so yeah. They go in there for a week.
Oh yeah, speaking of John Cena...remember when he said he acted like "the kid whose parent cancelled his World of Warcraft account? Well, that was not original. Take a look at this dork and his dorky brother who got his WoW account cancelled. Now class, the one dork did use the "F" bomb, so mature audiences only. Gold Star to the mom who cancelled it..
Ok, so that kid needs to get detention, padded walls, and a priest to dump about a gallon of holy water. Good for the parents. We win this battle!
Those 2 Guys (From: Paul Meade) - The 2 guys who were shown on camera waving in the crowd during Mark Henry's entrance. Grown men should be ashamed of themselves to be waving their arms at a WWE show.
Eternal Detention (I do not have to give you all a reason for them and if you want one, e-mail me. I am free now to read and reply).
The 2010 French Soccer Team Praxis and the ETS Series Teachers that get arrested Ryan Clark The Bee and Wasp family Michael Cole Bubba The Love Sponge The Pittsburgh Pirates Front Office
Mr. V's Honor Roll for June 21 – June 27, 2010
The past week, I graded the following matches on dates that the shows aired:
6/21 - Graded WWE Monday Night Raw Matches 6/22 - Graded WWE NXT Matches 6/23 - Column Writing. After that, I watched ROH on YouTube and recap the show. 6/24 - Graded WWE Superstars and TNA Impact Matches. 6/25 - Graded Smackdown Matches 6/26 - OFF DAY 6/27 – OFF DAY
I actually have given up on recapping FCW since they are rarely updated anymore.
Overall, the matches this past week were tough to watch. Many matches featured some lousy execution and poor booking. However, I will give all promotions (ROH, TNA, and WWE) for giving us at least one match to watch (each company gave a "B-" match). However, once again WWE really stepped up with a few impressive matches on the Smackdown and Raw Brand. Even though I sent Raw into detention, I think at least one match was great because of the performance of the superstars. Let me present the best for this past week. I just hope that you agree with me because there are some names on there that just don't belong.
Distinguished Honors – Matt Hardy vs. Drew McIntyre, Friday Night Smackdown, June 25.
The Winner: Matt Hardy via Twist of Fate.
The Grade: B+
The Reason: A lot my students will question my decision on this one, but here me out. Usually one or the other is a joke in either my writings or our radio show and it brings a smile on my face when I am proven wrong (ok most of the time). I first off realized there is some really good storytelling here, as both men really hate each other in this story. Both gave the other a severe beating, especially McIntyre. This is a grudge match, so I expected a good bit of action outside the ring. Well, it happened and it was done to perfection.
I was very impressed with McIntyre's reactions, he finally showed some of that potential that I am sure the WWE knew all along. You have to enjoy his character as well. When things were not going his way, he showed it in the cameras and in front of the audience.
Matt Hardy showed a ton of perseverance. He took probably one of the best beatings of 2010 and he still kept getting up.
Both wrestlers (I refuse to call them entertainers because I am not employed by the WWE) earned a lot of credit from many a fan because they kept that intensity from start to finish. It was tough because I am not entirely sold on both guys, but this was an awesome payoff. Matt Hardy's finish was even pretty good, hitting that Twist of Fate out of nowhere. An excellent performance from these two and if that is the end of this Hardy vs. McIntyre novel, then we were rewarded.
High Honors – Chris Jericho vs. Evan Bourne, Monday Night Raw, June 21.
The Winner: Chris Jericho via Codebreaker.
The Grade: B
The Reason: Well last week, many of my readers and even TNA recapper Josh Boutwell demanded that Chris Jericho and Evan Bourne get Gold Stars for their work at Fatal 4-Way. I just watched a three minute highlight package of this and I agreed. They had a good match on June 20. Jericho then cut a promo a day later on Raw and said if he lost the match on June 21, he would leave WWE programming forever! With his new venture as a legit game show host (Downfall on ABC Tuesday Nights), some probably thought this was the last we would see of Jericho. I am happy that Jericho's demise was not the outcome.
Jericho demonstrated some great aggression. He started to just pummel and hold Bourne all over the mat, making the referee "ASK HIM" to give up. Jericho is one of those wrestlers that will make fans doubt him and he would prove "the tapeworms" wrong. Jericho demonstrated great awareness throughout the match.
Bourne worked very well in this match, as his emergence continues. Cena gave him the rub, and now Jericho? That is two former World Champions that just gave him props and there will be more to come. He sprung on the ropes well and even though he lost this match, he won by losing. Bourne is going to be a second-tier champion soon. By the way, I still think his running head scissors move is consistently a thing of beauty.
Even the finish was a good one. Bourne was up in the air for the Shooting Star Press and I for one was hoping for a counter. Jericho must have read my mind; he got the knees up then hit the Codebreaker. It was an example of someone saying "Nice try kid, but I am still The Best in the World at What I Do" moment. So the end of this mini-feud is that Jericho came out on top and Bourne got better after that match. All in all, a win/win situation.
Honors – Christian, MVP, and Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler, Curt Hawkins, and Vance Archer, Friday Night Smackdown, June 25.
The Winners: Christian defeated Dolph Ziggler via The Killswitch. That finish gave Christian, MVP, and Kingston the victory.
The Grade: B
The Reason: Again, this was pretty weird to put this match in the honor roll because honestly 3 or 4 really stepped up, while guys like Vance Archer continued to struggle. However, not even the sloppiness of Archer could bring this grade down thanks in part to the experience all around the ring. Also, think about the stories in this feud. Archer and Hawkins made statements when they attacked Christian and MVP. Christian and Ziggler are feuding. Kingston was in there to make a statement on Ziggler as well (who is pretty close to being the next Intercontinental Champion). Despite the lack of star power it was a very good six-man tag team match that focused on the strengths of each wrestler.
The team of MVP, Christian, and Kingston were superb. Heck, just give them the Tag Team Titles and have them apply "The Freebird Rule" because the three really meshed well. MVP is a brawler; Kingston is a high-flyer, and Christian all an all-around perfectionist. When this team was in control, the match flowed smoothly.
The team of Ziggler, Hawkins, and Archer was ok for what it was worth. Ziggler was excellent in this match, as he just mastered the ring in this contest. Archer was limited, but he demonstrated some good power and was not bad in the ring. Hawkins worked the mat pretty well. He was pretty good when in control; especially his vertical suplex was pretty good.
This overall was impressive tag team action that had all the wrestlers understanding their role in this match. It clearly helped all six wrestlers get over in one way or another, particularly Hawkins who has a good shot at being something special again. I am interested in seeing what will happen with all six wrestlers here. If I can recommend any show to watch right now, check out Friday Night Smackdown. It was close to perfect as a show can get this past week.
Mister V's Grade Book
A+, A, or A-: None to Report.
B+: Matt Hardy vs. Drew McIntyre (Smackdown).
B: Chris Jericho vs. Evan Bourne (RAW) and MVP, Christian, and Kofi Kingston vs. Vance Archer, Curt Hawkins, and Dolph Ziggler (Smackdown);
B-: Rhett Titus and Kenny King vs. Jerry Lynn and Delirious (ROH); Kurt Angle vs. Desmond Wolfe (TNA); Big Show vs. Jack Swagger (Smackdown); and Kane vs. CM Punk (Smackdown).
C+: John Cena vs. Sheamus (RAW); Alex Riley and The Miz vs. MVP and Percy Watson (NXT); Luke Gallows vs. Chris Masters (Superstars); Jay Lethal vs. Kazarian (TNA); Robert Roode and James Storm vs. Shannon Moore and Jesse Neal (TNA); and Abyss vs. Mr. Anderson (TNA);
C: Sara Del Ray vs. Reggie (ROH); Rasche Brown vs. Ricky Reyes (ROH); and R-Truth vs. William Regal (Superstars);
C-: John Morrison vs. Zack Ryder (RAW); The Great Khali and Eve Torres vs. Primo and Alicia Fox (RAW); Michael McGillicutty vs. Titus O'Neil (NXT); Eli Cottonwood vs. Kaval (NXT); Cody Rhodes vs. Lucky Cannon (NXT); and Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love (TNA);
D+, D, or D-: Eddie Edwards vs. Nick Westgate (ROH); JTG vs. Caylen Croft (Superstars); and Brie Bella vs. Jillian Hall (Superstars);
F or INC: Tamina vs. Natalya (RAW); Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting (TNA); and Kelly Kelly vs. Rosa Mendes (Smackdown).
The Gold Star Segment (Sponsored by: JR's Bar-B-Q Sauce!)
The Teacher's Lounge – Happy Three Month Anniversary!
Drew McIntyre and Matt Hardy - If this was the payoff of this feud then I am one very happy viewer.
CM Punk and Kane – I will throw in the rest of the Straight Edge Society in this Gold Star as well. I am very happy to see that though the WWE is "PG" they can still have a very stiff No Disqualification main event.
CM Punk – Get well soon. Hopefully we can have some storyline in which CM Punk is in a wheelchair because of what Kane did to him. In reality, he had arm surgery and will be out for up to 2 months.
Desmond Wolfe – I will give him one this week because he needs one. He has been in a few decent matches in TNA recently and they won't reward him with wins. So I will reward him with a Gold Star.
Jay Lethal – May your push continue.
The All-Night Express – Finally, Rhett Titus and Kenny King have a tag team name. I am really excited to see where they go with this team.
Austin Aries (the manager) – This character gets no justice in the eyes of an average wrestling fan. Aries quietly became a strong character and is the best in Ring of Honor right now. Now he is a manager and he is flat out awesome in this role.
Friday Night Smackdown – The show on 6/25 was amazing to watch! I thought it was overall the best show of the year. Mike Tedesco, you are very lucky to recap this one.
The Elite Eight in The FIFA World Cup – Kudos especially to South America with four teams in this bracket. To Uruguay, Ghana, Brazil, Netherlands, Germany, Argentina, Paraguay, and Spain I say good luck. My pick is STILL on the board, Spain!
To all my readers who sent me their homework – I hope I did not forget any of you. So a special thank you to Jason Bitzegaio, Rick Jackson, Lester Junior, Jesse Grams, Ricky Langston, Paul Meade, James Taylor, Jamel Watson, Tim Marshall, Justin Tabeek, Sam Newstone, and Deni Danny Sahbegovic. You all deserved one whether accomplishing the task on Facebook or through e-mail.
Claudio Castagnoli – For staying "Very European"
Jose Marrero – He went the extra effort route and now has 77 columns up on WrestleView.com. For that I say well done Jose. I salute you!
Sara Del Ray – It was nice to see a good match with her in it.
David Stephens – He admits that he likes the music that the average wrestling fan despises, yet he still produces the best Monday Night Raw Recap in all professional wrestling.
NBA and NHL Free Agency – This is going to be a very...VERY busy offseason! My bet is that LeBron James will now play for the Chicago Bulls with Chris Bosh. If James goes outside of Cleveland or Chicago I will be very shocked.
Columbian Coffee – It is the richest coffee in the world.
James Lacerenza – I hope all of you voted for his cause on Pepsi's Refresh Everything program. I hope it does well for him because he deserves it.
Frank Contorno – I don't know if I did this before, but Congratulations on your Graduation. Best of luck in the future.
Steve Knight – This man gave me a very important article to show with everyone in Mr. V's Classroom. This is an ultimatum to YOU Mike Hogewood (commentator for ROH on HDNet), please Don't Slap The Porpoise...or else!
(The next three Gold Stars are from Paul Meade)
Jose Valerde, closer of the Detroit Tigers - He is 1-1 with a 0.53 ERA and 18 saves as of Monday night. He has given up 2 runs all year and he only has one blown save
Michael Hayes - He showed us on Raw that he can still do the moonwalk.
MrWCW2000 from YouTube - He has begun to post full shows from early 2000 of WCW Nitro and Thunder, they are must see.
That is it for Gold Stars. If you have a nomination, give me an e-mail.
Good Ideas, Bad Ideas
Let's see what Good Ideas and Bad Ideas I got from June 23 – 30
From James Lacerenza
Good idea: NXT beating up the legends Bad idea: Taking 10 WHOLE MINUTES of TV time to do so.
From Rosie (that is her name folks, she calls into WrestleView on occasion)
Good Idea: The second half of the Slovakia-Italy game. Great effort by both teams. Bad Idea: The defending World Cup champs Italy failed to advance, placed in last place in their group, and have to go home early in shame.
Good Idea: Batista leaving the WWE with his game and ability still strong that he can come back with the company in a few years. Bad Idea: Batista eyeing his next career move with Strikeforce. He's too old.
Homework Analysis (Finally!)
A few weeks ago on Mr. V #73 I asked the following question:
1) Please provide me with the wrestling name (has to be real) that you thought was the worst name for a professional wrestler. You can give me up to three. Answers will be posted next week.
Here is a list of the students that completed the assignment and those names they picked.
Keep in mind that I did ask this question after the first week of NXT.
Jason Bitzegaio: Husky Harris Lester Junior: Bastion Booger, Mantaur, T.L. Hopper, Red Rooster, and Max Moon. Ricky Langston: Glacier and Gillberg Paul Meade: Wrath and Glacier James Taylor: Ding Dongs, Diamond Stud, The Ringmaster, Max Moon, and Terra Ryzing. Tim Marshall: The Goon Justin Tabeek: Man Mountain Rock and Heidenreich Deni Danny Sahbegovic: Meat, Hugh G. Rection, and Prince Albert.
Some of the readers replied with a very lengthy e-mail, so I hope you have the time to read them because I sure do. It is an honor that the students of WrestleView will send me their assignment.
From Jamel Watson
Here are my three worst names.
1.Kizarny. Horrible name, worse gimmick. 2.Vinnie Vegas. Max Moon pities Vinnie for having that name. 3. Dolph Ziggler. Even though dude is very talented and is going to get a big push this year this name is just awful.
From Rick Jackson
The 3 Worst Wrestling Names/Gimmicks Ever:
3. The Demon (WCW late-90's) - A KISS gimmick would have been golden during the late 70's-early 80's at the height of the band's popularity. Hell, even in the late '80's-early 90's during the Rock N' Wrestling Era. During the Monday Night War and height of the "Attitude Era," the gimmick was destined for failure.
2. Evad Sullivan (WCW mid-90's) - This kayfabe younger brother to the"Taskmaster" Kevin Sullivan was the original Eugene. Hell he couldn't even spell his name right.
1. Meat (WWF late-90's) - The son of the late, great Stan "the Man" Stasiak turned into a piece of meat for the WWF's original cougars (Jacquelyn & Terri). Sadly, the younger Stasiak was about as graceful as a slab of ribs in the ring. Maybe the gimmick was more appropriate than I thought.
From Jesse Grams
My pick for worst wrestler name is The Red Rooster. I still feel bad for Terry Taylor to this day. If you ever watched a match involving Taylor as the Rooster, every time he came out he had a look of part embarrassment and part sheer horror on his face. I wonder what he did to piss off Vince so bad. Lol. What do chickens have to do with wrestling anyway?
From Sam Newstone
Admittedly, these are all very recent choices. The fact of the matter is, I can't really think of many names that were awful since I started watching wrestling again four years ago. I can name plenty of bad gimmicks, but names are a different matter. So my three picks are all younger guys who have just recently started on WWE programming.
#3 - Husky Harris. Why not just use his real last name? We know he's the grandson of Blackjack Mulligan and the son of IRS. People are going to figure out sooner or later that his name isn't Husky Harris. Duke Rotunda sounded like a perfectly reasonable name. Husky Harris sounds like a prison nickname.
#2 - Michael McGillicutty. The same goes for Joe Hennig. He's stated that he wanted to make a name for himself, so he's using his mother's maiden name. But people are going to figure out that his mother's maiden name isn't McGillicutty with the power of the internet, so they're going to think he's taking us for fools. I don't think Hennig really needs to be on NXT, but I'll let that slide. I will not, however, let his ridiculous name slide.
And the #1 Worst Wrestler's Name is...
Do I really have to explain myself here? Ah, I'll do it anyway. WWE Creative could have taken a name that is recognized around the world in Bryan Danielson, used his nickname The American Dragon, and placed him on Raw, and they would have had higher ratings and more merchandise sold within a week. Danielson can bring the indy fans into the mainstream, and give them a reason to watch Raw. Instead, they put him on NXT as a "rookie" with the fallen-asleep-at-the-wheel name of Daniel Bryan. Wow. Utter brilliance shown from Creative. Reminiscent of Simon Dean being the reverse of Dean Malenko's real name. I truly hope this Danielson angle is a work, because if it isn't, it's going to disappoint a lot of people.
Mr. V's Take: So there you have it, quite a list, huh? Well, I am looking at all these names and I must admit, all the wrestler names were pretty bad. Imagine having to be at a bar and say to a girl "Yeah, I am a professional wrestler. My name is Meat". Not a good name to have. I am going to keep the NXT names off of them because well, they are not household names yet. All names are worth mentioning, so now I will make a pick for worst name based on this criterion. I hate to disagree with many of my students because I am actually going to pick just three names.
#3 Worst name – Meat. I mean the name, the look, and the character made this one a disaster. I feel bad for Stasiak on this one. Honorable mention for the "Planet" name as well. I wonder what he is doing now?
#2: Vinnie Vegas – This name reminded me of a villian from Miami Vice than an actual wrestler. Despite the name, I am happy to report that he is alive and well. He is still winning titles and not jobbing to anyone as "Big Sexxy" Kevin Nash. I should give this guy a gold star because he overcame such a terrible name.
#1 Worst Wrestler Name...EVER!! The Red Rooster
I don't know what is the worst, the name, the rooster call, the red hair up top, or calling his fans "The Rooster Boosters". He was actually a well accomplished wrestler and his e-mail is the reason TNA has a restraining order on Jim Cornette (I think) for his choice words about Vince Russo. This teacher is happy to know that The Red Rooster is still well after this terrible Red Rooster name.
Well, that does it for me this week. I thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoyed this column as much as I typed it out. If you want to get a hold of me during the week, please e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org or by leaving me a message on Facebook. I do get a lot of e-mails and may not reply in a timely fashion, but I will do my best to give you a quicker reply.
Now, students you are allowed to leave the classroom. Please push in your chairs, line up straight, and exit to the closest door around you. Until my latest ROH recap, you are all......DISMISSED!!!!
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