IWS sent this in:
IWS Violent Valentines this Saturday
News and notes on the next International Wrestling Syndicate show along with results from the great (and weird) Inter Species Wrestling show from Sunday at Foufounes Electriques.
The Valentines season may be a time for people to come together, but in the IWS it is a time that is driving two friends apart.
Kevin Steen lost his IWS title to Beef Wellington after someone backstage turned off the lights in the middle of their title match. IWS President, Nic ?One T? Paterson, rather than giving Kevin his contractual rematch, is forcing Steen to earn it in a Number One Contender’s match against Franky the Mobster. Steen and Franky have fought in the past, but there has never been bad blood between the two, in fact Franky is not just Kevin’s best friend, but one of his only friends.
Kevin made the match personal when he started his own investigation into the mystery of who sabotaged his match with Beef by turning out the lights. Franky did not, does not, will never accept being included in Kevin’s list of suspects and a match that was just business has now turned deeply personal.
IWS Violent Valentines
Saturday, February 21st
Le Skratch, 965 Cure Labelle, Chomedey, Laval
Number One Contender’s Match: Franky the Mobster vs. Kevin Steen
IWS Canadian Title: IWS Canadian Champion EXesS vs. Shayne Hawke
wXw 16 Carat Gold Qualifying Match: The Untouchables (Jimmy Stone and Dan Paysan) plus the Evil Ninja vs. 2.0 (Shane Matthews and Jagged) plus Twiggy
The wrestler who wins the match with a pin or submission earns the right to fly to Germany to represent the IWS (and Canada) in wXw’s 16 Karat Tournament
Mike Bailey vs. ?Heavy? Maxx Fury
The Nic Paterson Invitational
Detailed Violent Valentines Preview
I should start by announcing that ?Iron? Mike Paterson will not be at the show due to a scheduling conflict. He was under the impression that the show was on Friday and on Saturday he will be up all day (and most of the night) shooting a Cialis commercial. In his place, Mike has nominated, GIANT TIGER!!!
Oh dear God! The words ?Train? and ?Wreck? come to mind. Please no one give the Giant Tiger beer.
In a match that I can only describe as Flipping Ridiculous, the IWS newest high-flyer, the former broom-boy Mike ?Speed-ball? Bailey will have to earn his stripes against the original IWS high flyer ?Heavy? Maxx Fury. Bailey impressed everyone in his debut last month earning a victory against 2.0 with his partner Brian ?Cock-Knocker? Korklan. Fury, for his part, has impressed everyone by emerging from a five-year retirement not only with no ring rust, not only without missing a step, but so smoothly it was like he was Steve Rogers thawed out of a block of ice. Normally, I would be talking about speed vs. experience, but both men seem evenly matched in terms of speed and while Fury has years more experience than Bailey, Fury’s experience is also five years out of date.
Best non-ISW related office moment of the last month: Shane Matthews came in, looked at who was appearing at the show, and bellowed ?Where’s Cock-Knocker?? I answered, ?He’s got GEW.? Nic Paterson opened his door and asked, ?He’s got GEW? What’s that? A tropical disease?? and then slammed his door before I could finish explaining that Brian Corcoran is booked in Granby Entertainment Wrestling on Saturday, a prior booking that he wanted to honour.
Speaking of Nic Paterson, he wants me to announce that at Violent Valentines we will be holding the first ever Nic Paterson Invitational where four newcomers to the IWS will be battling to impress IWS management and prove that they deserve a spot on the roster.
Every year, Germany’s wXw promotion holds Europe’s most prestigious wrestling tournament, the 16 carat Gold Tournament. When they need a Canadian representative for the tournament, they turn to us. wXw and IWS have a lot in common, I would call us blood brothers but we are more like barbed-wire brothers. This year, we have decided to award the spot in wXw’s tournament to the man who gets the pin or submission in a six man tag match pitting the new IWS Tag Team champions, Jimmy Stone and Dan Paysan, joined by the Evil Ninja against the team of Shane Matthews, Jagged and Twiggy.
For Shane Matthews and Jagged, a victory would allow one of them to return to Germany as a singles competitor after having had great success there as a tag team last year. It would also give 2.0 a causus belli to demand a shot at the IWS Tag Titles. Stone and Paysan would like to continue their momentum from winning the belts last month, not to mention that each would dearly love to visit Germany and meet all the German frauleins looking to touch the Untouchables. For the Evil Ninja and Twiggy, this is an opportunity for personal glory. The question will be, what team can achieve victory when every member is looking to grab the golden ticket to Germany?
My two favourite matches from last year saw Shayne Hawke and EXesS lock up. In their first match, Shayne Hawke won, but celebrated his victory in the hospital, another victim of the stiffest man in Quebec wrestling. In the rematch, EXesS had his arm raised and won the vacant IWS title, but the only thing keeping EXesS on his feet was the referee holding him up. In each match, the winner of the match ended up going to the hospital. For this, the rubber match, Shayne Hawke, the raging red-head, has declared that if the only way that he can win the red IWS Canadian title is to beat EXesS bloody and end his career, well that’s a sacrifice that Shayne Hawke is prepared to make.
The International Wrestling Syndicate’s next show is Violent Valentines Saturday, February 21st at Le Skratch 965 Cure Labelle, Chomedey, Laval, Quebec, CANADA. Doors Open at 7:30, Show Starts at 8:30. VIP tickets are $20. Regular tickets are $15. $18+. Card and times subject to change. For more information go to http://www.syndicatewrestling.com or write to Llakor@hotmail.com Does anyone actually read this far? Anyone even know what cassus belli means?
ISW Slamtasia 2 Results
Player Uno retained his Inter Species Wrestling Title, beating his trainer Michael Van Payton, the original M.V.P. in a hard-hitting match-up. Rather than being overjoyed however, Player Uno called out Kevin Steen, recently fired by ISW for destroying ISW merchandise and literally trashing the old ISW belt. Uno declared that he would not feel like he deserved to wear the snazzy new ISW belt, until he beats Kevin Steen, something Uno has never done. Uno went so far as to threaten to vacate the belt if ISW does not rehire Kevin Steen for their next show April 12th.
ISW Slamtasia 2
Results Quick and Dirty
Commisioner’s Choice: Maximus Primal vs. Jeremy the Prophet Barnoff
Maximus Primal beat the Prophet in 4:53.
Inter Species Wrestling OTHER Title Match: ISW OTHER Champion Stinky the Homeless Guy vs. Moohammad the Terrorist Cow
Stinky defended his belt in 6:39.
You Killed My Father!: El Hijo del Bamboo vs. Damian, the God of War
El Hijo del Bamboo avenged his father beating Damian in 5:58.
Last Time Ever: Beef Wellington vs. Giant Tiger
Giant Tiger capped off their long-running feud beating Beef Wellington in 10:39.
Pin the Pussy!: Sexxxy Eddy vs. Addy Starr
Sexxxy Eddy pinned Addy Starr in 8:18.
The Chicken Got Choked!: Twiggy vs. Samson
Twiggy beat Samson in 8:10.
Bodybag Match: Izzy Deadyet w/Gore vs. Zombiefied
Izzy Deadyet zipped Zombiefied into the body bag at 14:54.
Inter Species Wrestling Title Match: IWS Champion Player Uno vs. M.V.P. Player defended his title in 18:22.
ISW Slamtasia 2 Detailed Results
Once again, for reasons surpassing understanding, Inter Species Wrestling turned to the Worst Ring Announcer in the Known Multi-Verse, namely me, to hold the mike at Slamtasia 2. I was in the middle of informing the crowd that Kevin Steen would not be appearing, and crowing that this meant that for once I would finish an ISW show uninjured when Jeremy ?the Prophet ? Barnoff came through the front door of Foufounes Electriques, failed to pay and charged the ring, in the process clipping me in the shin with a chair. After identifying himself as an on-line stalker of ISW, who has been badgering us, pleading to be booked, Jeremy announced that he wasn?t leaving the ring until he got a match. To allow the show to continue, I summoned my official bodyguard, Maximus Primal to school the Flavour Flav wanna-be, which Maximus did quickly and efficiently..
To maintain order and prevent future interruptions, ISW management deputized the Badd Boys as emergency ISW security.
Slamtasia 2 officially started with Stinky the Homeless Guy defending the IWS belt that he recycled around his waist after Kevin Steen threw it into the garbage. Stinky’s victory over Moohammad the Terrorist Cow was especially sweet since it gave Stinky revenge over Moohammad for his mistreatment of Stinky’s partner in Lady and the Tramp, Flip D. Berger, held captive and tortured by Moohammad since losing a Winner Eats the Loser match.
After the match, Moohammad, sore loser to the end, tried to take out Stinky with a chair when Flip D. Berger rushed the stage to grab the chair. But rather than saving Stinky, Flip turned on his former partner, taking Stinky out with the chair. It seems that rather than literally eating Flip, Moohammad has instead metaphorically eaten Flip’s brain, turning the former McJobber into a rapid PETA Vegan.
El Hijo del Bamboo’s mystery opponent was the man who killed and decapitated his father, Damian the God of War. Damian came out of retirement in an attempt to end Bamboo Jr’s career the same way that he ended Bamboo Sr.’s life. But on his way to dragging the dancing Panda out of the ring to the balcony, Damian fell victim to El Hijo del Bamboo’s lightning roll-up.
Over a four-year period, Giant Tiger and Beef Wellington have dragged each other lives and families through the mud, in the dirtiest feud in wrestling history. Giant Tiger has revelled in every sweaty, disgusting moment while Beef has been revolted every step of the way. On Sunday, a desperate Beef had one final chance to beat the self-proclaimed ?Beef’s Father-Fucker Champion of the Universe?. If Beef won, the 73 hours worth of footage shot by Giant Tiger over a weekend of debauchery forced by a previous Beef loss to Tiger would be erased. To Beef’s despair, Giant Tiger won the match forcing Beef to tap to the Sharpshooter; to Beef’s relief, after the match Giant Tiger turned on the fans and reneged on his promise to release the ?fuck footage?.
Also, to my immense disgust, I was assaulted by Giant Tiger. For those all those who seem desperate to know, Giant Tiger’s lips taste like ass. And, no, I will not explain how I know what ass tastes like.
For over a year, Sexxxy Eddy has been campaigning to fight a real woman in ISW, making this longest dry spell in Eddy’s life since he celebrated his twelfth birthday by seducing his baby-sitter and his elementary teacher on the same day. The good news for Eddy was that instead of cruelly booking Eddy against a she-male, we booked him against the gorgeous Addy Starr; the better news for Eddy was that he got the win and countless free feels during the match; the hideous news for Eddy is that after the match Addy Starr snapped and got her revenge back by giving Eddy a huge Penis Slam.
Originally, Twiggy was scheduled to face Chicken Caesar, but I had barely finished introducing the Roman Fowl when Samson’s noose hit the ring, leading to the grumpy Greek choking the Chicken and taking his place. Twiggy, leading the crowd in chants of ?Hairy Asshole?, got inside Samson’s head and got the victory making him the ISW wrestlers with the most victories in the ISW since the start of the promotion. As a reward, Twiggy was named the Number One Contender to the ISW title and promised a title shot during CHIKARA’s King of Trios tournament.
For as long as there have been Zombies and Zombie films, the debate has raged: Which Zombies are better? The slow, shambling Zombies or the running, shrieking Zombies? On Sunday, Izzy Deadyet represented the old school and with some help from his Zombie Master/Manager Gore, beat the faster, louder Zombiefied and zipped him into the body bag for the win, but not before Zombiefied electrified the crowd by diving over the ropes onto Izzy while still half in the body bag.
ISW returns to Foufounes Electriques on Sunday, April 12th.
Inter Species Wrestling is scheduled to shed their straight-jackets and escape the loony bin to present Show Name To Be Announced on Sunday, April 12th, 2009 at Foufounes Electriques, 87 Ste-Catherine Est, (near the corner of Ste-Catherine and St-Laurent, near the St-Laurent metro) Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:00 pm, show starts at 8:00 pm, tickets are $15. 18+, card and times subject to change (we should be so lucky). For more information go to www.interspecieswrestling.com or write to firstname.lastname@example.org
Larry Goodman sent this in:
Showtime All-star Wrestling ? Episode 75
Airing on January 10, 2008 in Nashville on Comcast 74
Taped on December 12, 2008 at the SAW Mill in Millersville, Tn
Michael Graham and Reno Riggs open the show with Graham saying it had been an exceptionally chaotic day at the SAW Mill.
Cut to Commissioner Freddie Morton upstairs in the office. Morton said Paul Adams had come to him this morning wanting to cancel the cage match because David Young was out of town, and no Matt Dillinger as a replacement because they were still at odds. Morton replied that the match was on and Adams was still in the cage. But there was also trouble in the camp of Team Dragon. Morton got a call from security informing him that Tribal Nation had been found unconscious in catering (the concession stand?) and had been taken to a medical facility. Morton said that the cage match would take place with A-Team consisting of Hammerjack, Rick Santel and Adams vs. Arrick Andrews & Nikki Vaughn.
1 ? CHRISJEN HAYME vs. JON MICHAEL WORTHINGTON
Graham said it was Worthington’s inring debut. I guess last week didn?t count. Riggins said TJ Harley was still out with a stinger suffered in Worthington’s attack. Hayme was controlling Michaels? arm with chain wrestling. Worthington punched him in the face. Hayme shifted into high gear with a bulldog for two and an Oklahoma roll. Michaels used a sidewalk slam to turn the tide. Returning from commercial, Worthington was choking the life out of Hayme. Worthington cut off a weak comeback with off with one of Reno’s favorites – a thumb to the eye. Worthington charged and took a belly bump on the top turnbuckle. Both men down. Hayme fired back with forearms. Hayme hit a missile dropkick for a near fall. Hayme avoided a kneelift and hit a german suplex. Hayme set up for a second. Michaels swung an elbow and got caught with a bridging northern lights suplex. Nice sequence. Michaels tried for the Brentwood Breaker but Hayme had it scouted. Hayme did a middle rope moonsault. It barely made contact and Michaels rolled through with a handful of tights.
Winner: Worthington in 5:25. Two guys with bland personalities. Worthington is almost expressionless at times. Hayme’s moveset provided some good action. The finish blew.
Back to Graham and Riggins and more of that annoying canned crowd noise. They recapped the craziness involving ?Boogie Woogie Boy? Gary Valiant and Marc Anthony that ended with Anthony locked in the closet with Miss Boogie. Graham said Boogie was at home helping Miss Boogie recover from the trauma. Reno read a letter he received challenging Boogie to another ?Anything Goes? match with Anthony. It was signed by Scott Levy, CEO of M3 Productions. Reno made sure the viewers knew Levy was Raven. Reno said Morton would be anxious to sign a match between Valiant and either Anthony or Raven. They cut to a video they received from Anthony.
Anthony was standing in a tiny utility closet that was like Claustrophia City. No army gear. Anthony was shirtless. The ?White Rabbit? background music was gone replaced by the sound of the wind. Anthony was telling his imaginary ?father? that he could hear the things Boogie’s followers were pondering in their brains, as they tried to figure out what Anthony and Raven were up to. He said wars were not always won on the field of battle.
Sometimes you have to infiltrate the mind of the individual you want to crush. Prince Valiant, you appointed yourself the self the self-righteous savior, the general of the SAW Mill. So therefore, we have infiltrated your mind. We have taken what is so precious to and that is that fair maiden of yours, Miss Boogie, the one that has been slapped by gravity over and over and over again?But I tell you and the minions at the SAW Mill, do not ponder things. Do not think such deep thoughts about what happened in that room. For that very room brings memories to me. It brings memories to the forefront of my mind. And they are not so pretty Prince Valiant. And the more you ponder, and the more you try to open that door, just remember these words of wisdom that give you, sir. To you and all your little Nation, be careful the memories you think of, be careful of the things your ponder, and be careful of the doors you try to open, because what walks out those doors might not be so pretty.
2 ? PGWA Title Match: Champion TRACY TAYLOR vs. SUMIE SAKAI
Sakai smiled and offered to shake hands, then refused to let go. Taylor pulled her into a side headlock, but Sakai suplexed her to mat and did submission work. Nice shot of Taylor struggling mightily to gain a ropes break. Taylor countered two german suplex attempts and went to the air. Taylor applied a submission using Sakai’s back as a surfboard. Taylor unleashed a series of strikes. Sakai went to the eyes. A series of high impact moves had Taylor in trouble. Taylor came back with an STO for a near fall. Graham announced that Chase Stevens had been added to Team Dragon for the cage match. Sakai hit a pair of missile dropkicks but Taylor kicked out. Taylor countered a fisherman suplex with a spike DDT and Sakai kicked out. There was a botched Irish whip spot with both looking badly blown up. They traded more near falls until Sakai got frustrated and brought a chair into the ring. They got in a tug of war. Taylor went down. Sakai and ref Jim Kleckner fought for the chair. Sakai shoved the chair edge into Kleckner’s gut. As she did so, Taylor did a sunset flip off the chair to get the pinfall.
Winner: Taylor retains in 9:37. Great effort, bad match. They were overreaching. A few things looked really good. A lot of it did not. And they were asking for trouble by making a SAW ref an intricate part of that finish. I?ve seen pieces of wood more animated than Kleckner.
Josianne interrupted Natalie Van Eron’s interview with Taylor to issue a title challenge. Taylor claimed she didn?t know who the hell she was, but she could have a match any time.
Riggins gave props to the ring crew putting up the cage, mentioning them by name.
Graham quizzed Adams about his possible involvement with the untimely demise of the Tribal Nation and his thoughts about Stevens being added to the cage match. Adams was looking swank in his flag shorts. Adams admitted being in the building to negotiate with Morton, but denied any involvement with the Indians. As for Stevens, Adams said he wasn?t worried about him. It was typical Stevens to try to be the big hero. Adams reminded Stevens that he always had a plan, and it was Andrews that should be having flashbacks of their last time in the cage.
3 ? Steel Cage Match: A-TEAM (Hammerjack & Rick Santel & Paul Adams) vs. TEAM DRAGON (ARRICK ?The Dragon? ANDREWS & CHASE STEVENS & NIKKI VAUGHN
Team Dragon attacked A-Team at ringside. The bell rang with the cage still empty. Once inside, Adams immediately threw a huge handful of powder into Andrews? eyes. Andrews was enveloped in a cloud of powder. Hammerjack and Santel beat on the other members of Team Dragon, while
Adams played keep away from a blinded Andrews. The momentum shifter was Vaughn hitting the Short Circuit on Santel. Adams tried to climb out of the cage and got his ass exposed to the camera – censored with a black box labeled ?TVD?. A little inside joke there. All three members of Team Dragon started pounding lumps on Adams. Smoke began billowing out a hole that suddenly appeared in the middle of the mat. Reno said there was fire. Up came the mysterious masked man.
That’s the man in black, and I don?t mean Johnny Cash either!
The man in black zeroed in on Stevens with a shot to the groin, then wasted the other members of Team Dragon. Graham said this was the plan not the powder. A-Team handcuffed Andrews and Vaughn around the turnbuckles. Adams pulled two chairs out of the hole. A-Team Pillmanized Stevens? ankle. Riggins said fans were trying to get in the ring. They strangely cut to a crowd shot of some very placid fans. Adams unmasked the man in black.
It’s Andy Douglas! I can?t believe it!
Riggins said Douglas and Stevens were former world champions, but Douglas was showing his true colors, The beatdown on Team Dragon continued. Riggins said fans were trying to get in the ring. They strangely cut to a crowd shot of some very placid fans. Adams and Douglas hugged.
What are his motives and how did the A-Teams get to him? Tune in next week.
Winner: They never said. A no contest most likely. Who cares? It was one hell of an angle.
Random Thoughts: The cage match was the make or break for this episode. Up to that point, there were two forgettable matches. Jon Michael badly needs Rachel with him to spice up that story. The women’s match did not live up to the expectations There was only the one strong segment – the Raven letter followed by the latest disturbing vignette by Anthony. They did what they could to plausibly explain the last minute personnel changes in the cage. When I heard about the changes, I figured this match to be a disappointment. I figured wrong. The match had a frenzied atmosphere that makes for great TV. Fans were so amped to see Andrews get a shot at Adams inside the cage, they didn?t give a rat’s ass who else was in there. It was going to be the Dragon’s revenge. It turned out to be one hell of an intricate angle. The use of the powder was a terrific swerve. It made sense that once Team Dragon overcame that obstacle, it would be clear sailing and Adams was finally going to get thrashed. They had mentioned Douglas often enough, that he had to show up sooner or later, but not like this. It the masked man coming through the ring wasn?t enough, you had the smoke, the handcuffs and the chairs being pulled out. Hands down, one of the most memorable angles ever in SAW.