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GCW “Random Acts of Violence 2009” Results
Friday June 26 2009

GCW – Great Canadian Wrestling
“Random Acts of Violence”
Oshawa, Ontario
@ The Legion
Ring Announcer: Gentleman Geoff
Referee: Goldie Sean Cassidy
Timekeeper/Bell Ringer: David Divad
Results credit: Poindexter Slowly for www.owie.ca

-Prior to show start a couple fans got into a beef; a guy and a woman (who weren’t together) freaked out on each other and the guy was ejected from the building. The woman is engaged to a GCW support staff member and the guy, a GCW regular, is slightly ‘special’. He went home and got his Mom and returned to watch the second half of the show.

-The show opened with GCW promoter David Wyldstar addressing fans and Hayden Avery about Jake O’Reilly and the GCW Heavyweight Championship. Wyldstar said that Jake’s recent actions – attacking & beating PJ Tyler etc – meant that Jake was basically “out of control” and thus he was suspended from Random Acts of Violence. Wyldstar tried to give the GCW Championship to Avery but Hayden refused it saying he didn’t want it that way. They were interrupted by Crazzy Steve. Steve was not his normal loveable lunatic self. He was dressed like Jake O’Reilly – green pants, suspenders, orange headband and wearing an O’Reilly t-shirt – and talked like Heath Ledger’s Dark Knight Joker character. Steve/Joker/O’Reilly talked some weird stuff about the Jake – Hayden – Title situation and said he and Hayden should have some fun. A long and bizarre segment that veered into ‘shoot’ territory and storyline with equal intensity.

1) Sombra def Bruno Davis
Gentleman Geoff introduced ref Cassidy as a “Hundred Watt Light Bulb” due to Sean’s new super-blonde dye job that looks ridiculous. (Cassidy must really love his girlfriend. LOL) Gentleman Geoff was in fine form as always for this show. Impeccably dressed with a powerful resonant voice, Geoff is a great modern day flag bearer for the legendary wrestling ring announcers of the past. I’m surprised (but not really) that more promotions don’t use his services. Having a “real” ring announcer goes a long way to presenting one’s overall product as PROFESSIONAL wrestling.
Anyway… the match: It seemed kinda long for an opener but I think it wasn’t more than 10 minutes. Fans didn’t like Bruno much because he’s mean, snarly and disregards things like deodorant. Sombra’s over with GCW fans because he wears a mask and they like stuff like that (which GCW delivers in copious quantities; there were 6 masked wrestlers on this show.) Wearing a mask does more than just make one look cool, it can also prevent being killed by a double underhook DDT. I mean, how else could Sombra kick out after eating one of those?

2) Oruku Ghemma def King Sphinx
Mercifully this was a short match. They had fans involved during their entrances but totally lost them once the bell rang. This despite them both wearing masks so really, they had to do something not overly good to slide into Yawnsville with such ease. Ringside photographer Mrs Id sold more than the wrestlers did during this one. Highlight of the match was when Sphinx’s chin-dickie thingy fell off.

3) Sebastian Suave w/ Jamie Virtue def Angel de Guerra
Guerra entered to Michael Jackson’s “Beat It”; just one of a few references during the show to the recently departed King of Pop and All Things Strange. Fans were solidly behind the masked lucha star and popped huge when he superkicked Virtue in the face. Suave used nefarious methods to get the win and further his status as one of GCW’s biggest jerks. Fun stuff.

4) Anthony Darko & “The Russian Bear” Boris Breshnev def “Wanted Man” Ryan Dennim & “The Entertainer” Mario ???
Not sure what “The Entertainer’s” last name is but he should probably change it to “Borat” since that’s what many of the GCW fans called him. Why? I don’t know. He doesn’t look like Borat to me but he is pure comedy and pairing him with the overly exhuberant yippy-kye-yea antics of Dennim’s cowboy character is either an act of booking genius or twisted sadism depending on how you feel about comedy and wrestling. Darko came dancing out to “Beat It” which was pretty darn funny. The match was filled with lots of laughs, most of them supplied by Mario as he endured the extended beatdown. Dennim exposed Darko’s ass (it’s not a myth – he does have one) and that led to Darko using Dennim’s cowboy hat to hide his gonads as the “Wanted Man” chased him to the back. Both of them returned to action and it was Darko who scored the pin on Mario after nailing him with a spear. This was a good way to lead into intermission and nobody seemed to care that there hadn’t been a whole lot of random acts of violence or even a whole lot of actual wrestling on the card thus far.

-“Midnight Special” RJ City opened the second half by telling fans not to mourn Michael Jackson’s passing since he was the new King of Pop. RJ then sang an original song that he’d written for Ontario Independent Champion Rico Montana to show there was no hard feelings about Rico ‘stealing’ the belt from him. RJ invited Montana out to the ring for a handshake and Gentleman Geoff introduced the Champ with an extended “Ricooooooooooooo” that is probably still circling the globe.

5) GCW Ontario Independent Championship:
RJ City def Rico Montana by DQ (Rico retains title)
Good match but too short. I’d like to see these guys go 30 minutes plus. RJ played the cowardly bad guy with great effectiveness throughout and Rico did a good job of keeping fans into his stuggle to overcome the challenger’s cheating ways. In fact, both guys did well at melding what they did with what the crowd was into and it was their efforts that made this match the first one on the show that had bell to bell fan interaction. Ref Cassidy was squashed in the corner by a charging Rico when RJ pulled him into the Champ’s path so he missed Montana’s devestating powerbomb and cover of the Midnight Special. As the ref awoke, RJ tossed the ring microphone to Rico and laid down on the mat. Cassidy saw that picture and called for the bell disqualifying Montana. RJ grabbed the belt and began celebrating until Rico grabbed him and hammered him to the mat again. In a side note… One might wonder how a skinny little ref like Cassidy could recover enough from being flattened by a behemoth like Montana to continue not only the match but also the rest of the card. You think he’d be finished after something like that but fortunately Cassidy is a T-2000 model GCW official and has cybernetic enhanced regenerative powers. (How else to explain it?)

6) GCW Tag Team Championship – 40 Minute Time Limit:
The Pro Stars (Josh Alexander & “Tricked Out” Tyler Tirva) def The Masked Serpents (Black Serpent & Kajida) to retain the titles.
Kajida (I think that’s his name) was substituting for White Serpent; Black Serpent’s usual tag partner and while they aren’t the regular Masked Serpents at least they showed up which is more than can be said about C-Otis45 (Otis Idol & Cody 45) who were advertised to be in this match. Billed in pre-show hype as a 3-Way Elimination Match this simple 2 on 2 tag was announced as having a 40 minute time limit and there was no mention of the missing team. As none of the other bouts had been announced with any time limits I expected this one to go the full 40 (or close to it) since there was time and why else would Geoff suddenly start announcing such mundane details to legitimacy as time limits? Hah! Joke’s on me. The whole thing was over in 10 minutes flat with Tirva pinning Black Serpent to gain the victory for the defending champs. It was a hard hitting affair with Alexander delivering the bulk of the high impact offense. Tirva’s superplex on Kajida was freakin scary to watch and probably painful as hell for the masked guy to endure. Tirva has dyed part of his hair red and now looks kinda like the Red Rooster. No idea why he thought that would be a good thing. Of course, this is a guy who calls himself “Tricked Out” which is kinda weird (or maybe eerily true) for a relatuve novice in the business. Where I come from, if you’ve been “tricked out” you’re a whore.

-David Wyldstar and GCW “Ring Attendant Trainee” Tasha did the 50/50 draw in a strange seque into the crazy crazy. Wydstar came across as a wasted pimp daddy and scared some little kid into drawing the winning numbers. Wyldstar ended the the short break by getting the crowd into a “hey”…”Hey” chant response thing and then said “Hay is for horses. Grass is cheaper man.”

-Gentleman Geoff thanked fans for coming to the show and announced a couple future dates:
Aug 22nd – A free show
Sept 18th @ The Legion – Hayden Avery vs Jake O’Reilly in “The Battle To End All Battles”

-Geoff was interupted by Crazzy Steve who said the show wasn’t over yet. He called out Hayden Avery but Hayden didn’t show up. Steve called for Avery’s entrance music but still no Hayden so Steve went to the back and returned with PJ Tyler in tow. PJ was barefoot and wearing insanely tight denim shorts. As if that wasn’t great enough, she was bound at the wrists with electrical tape and gagged! Steve dragged her harshly around the ring and taped her wrists to the ringpost before once again calling out Hayden. Then things got really good. A GCW regular, an elderly lady with obvious health problems, attempted to free Holly from captivity. Things got tense as GCW officials and David Wyldstar attempted to seperate the fan from Holly and Steve. Once they got her back in her seat she began crying and then had a heart attack or something. An Ambulance was called. Meanwhile Hayden Avery showed up just as Steve was going to ram a giant spike into Holly’s head. (No doubt many fans were thinking about ramming a giant something into Holly too) Avery grabbed the spike and tossed it aside before he and Steve got down to business in the ring..

7) Hayden Avery def Crazzy Steve
I don’t know if the GCW Heavyweight title was on the line or not. Kinda missed that fact what with the fan having the heart attack and the uner-hot PJ Tyler being tied helpless to the ringpost for the whole match. Steve and Hayden had a great match filled with more actual wrestling than any of the bouts that came earlier but again, distractions kept me from totally focusing on what they were doing. (Hey, those denim shorts were tight!) I remember that Steve targeted Avery’s oft troubled knees to great effectiveness and Hayden did a great job of enduring and unltimately overcoming the anguish and suffering caused by the psuedo Irish Joker’s assault. Fun stuff but I missed the finish because I was watching the fan heart attack drama at the time Hayden scored the pin. Paramedics were attending to the stricken woman as Hayden freed Holly and brandished a chair menacingly to force Crazzy Steve to retreat to the back.

-A fun little show that perhaps should have been called “Random Acts of Comedy” instead of “Violence”. The second half was definitely the better half – the earlier bouts could have easliy been switched to any other meaningless killing-time contests (and GCW has the roster deep enough to do that.) and the overall show quality suffered because of that. GCW shows careful consideration to their top shelf programs and those ‘main’ storylines are fleshed out over time with lots of details, hooks and swerves which fans embrace much more fervently than the random stuff that fills the undercard of GCW shows. Personally, I’d like to see GCW pay more attention to their lower ranks and start giving them a more cohesive and enhanced direction that creates storyline realities that fans can both get into and see as logical programs that potentially lead to the participants making it into the higher ranks. It would have to better than the scattered randomness of the current GCW undercard world. One only had to watch the fan interest and interaction during the pre and post intermission matches to see that something was sorely lacking in the first half of the show; namely: emotional investment. They might laugh and they might chant, boo or cheer once in awhile but that’s what they came there to do. It’s not like they cared about the first 4 matches or the people in them… at least not enough to make any of those characters or bouts the deal maker when it comes down to deciding whether to go see a show or stay home and watch [insert any reality TV show] instead