Full WWE Velocity Results - 12/14/02

Reported by Keith Vinciguerra of WrestleView.com
» On Saturday, December 14, 2002 at 11:49 PM EST

Welcome to KVG’s first ever Velocity review for Wrestleview. I’m very happy to get the chance to write for such a great wrestling site. The Velocity review will consist of two parts: a recap and a review. The recap comes first and that will be a straightforward rundown of what happened on the show. The second part, the review, is where I’ll share my opinions and views on Velocity and anything else that happens to cross my mind at the time. And now, onto the show ….

We have new announcers for Velocity: Ernest “The Cat” Miller and Josh Matthews.

Matt Hardy vs. Shawn Evans

Matt starts off with an armdrag and a very long headlock. He knocks down Evans with a shoulder tackle but misses an elbow drop by a mile. Evans hits a side Russian leg sweep but then gets thrown over the top rope. Back in the ring, Matt stomps Evans in the corner and chokes him in the ropes. Evans tries to fight back with a few elbows but Matt drops him neck first over the top rope and then hits a side suplex for a two count. He sits Evans on the top rope, going for a top rope back suplex maybe, but he gets elbowed off and then Evans hits a high cross body. The newcomer keeps the momentum going for about five seconds with a tornado DDT. Hardy counters an Irish Whip with his Side Effect and then nails the Downfall leg drop and the Twist of Fate for the win.

Winner by pinfall: Matt Hardy

Flashback to Tough Enough

Sorry, but I don’t follow the show anymore. Wrestleview has a great recap of Tough Enough every week so check there if you need to know what happened.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Johnny Slaughter

Chuck shows his strength by shoving Slaughter into the corner a few times. He takes down Slaughter with a kneelift and a one handed vertical suplex. He held him up there for like 30 seconds. Chuck catches a weak kick attempt by Slaughter and hits a brutal clothesline followed by some shoulder tackles in the corner. He makes a mistake by charging Johnny in the corner and ends up slamming into the ring post shoulder first. Slaughter takes out Chuck’s leg with a few sliding kicks and an arm tackle. He runs into Chuck who catches him and hits a spinning belly-to-belly suplex followed by a discus punch and a really high back body drop. Chuck charges once again into the corner (twice in one match!!) and eats a Slaughter boot. Johnny climbs the ropes but gets caught on the way down and power bombed. Chucks nails an overhead belly-to-belly suplex followed by his super kick for the win.

Winner by pinfall: Chuck Palumbo

Flashback to Smackdown

They replay the segment where Kurt Angle interrupted Brock Lesnar’s autograph session to ask for his help at Armageddon. Then we see Stephanie lifting Brock’s suspension followed by the main even tag team match.

Funaki vs. CG Afi

The wrestlers start off fast by exchanging some armdrags. Funaki springs off the second rope but gets caught with an Afi boot. Afi then hits a side Russian leg sweep, a knee-to-kneebreaker, a spinning leg takedown and a really odd looking leg submission hold. Funaki manages to make it to the ropes and then he hits an Ensuguri (sp?) followed by a bulldog and a sit out inverted power bomb for a two count. Afi gets caught on the second rope where Funaki hits a chin breaker and then throws Afi off the ropes into a modified power bomb for the win.

Winner by pinfall: Funaki

The announcers run down the card for Armageddon. I am going to stop writing about this right now or I might accidentally give some opinions (very negative I must say) about the lineup that the WWE has prepared for us.

Flashback to Smackdown

We see the developing story line between Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson that has absolutely nothing to do with wrestling (oops, was that an opinion?).

Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero – Cruiserweight Title Match

Kidman and Chavo exchange some amateur wrestling maneuvers in the early going. Chavo bails out of the ring and tries to catch Kidman climbing back in the ring, but Billy hits a spinning leg scissors from the ring apron. Chavo takes over by draping Kidman across the ropes and then hitting a back suplex and a bodyslam. Kidman tries to fight back with some elbows, but Chavo drops him with a running kneelift and then pummels him in the corner. Kidman is finally able to gain the momentum with a really high dropkick out of nowhere, a back body drop, and a running clothesline. Chavo flips out of a back suplex attempt and delivers a vicious power bomb. Kidman hits a quick Ensuguri and tries for the Shooting Star Press. Eddie Guerrero appears out of nowhere and pushes Kidman off the ropes. Chavo tries for the pin with his feet on the ropes, but Kidman gets a shoulder up. After Kidman hits a sit out power bomb, Eddie climbs into the ring to take out Kidman. The bell rings as the Guerreros go to town on Kidman. Benoit charges the ring to make the save as the show ends.

Winner by DQ: Billy Kidman

And now the Review. Two things need to be addressed first:

1. No more Cole and Loyd!!!! The Tool Brothers are gone, hopefully for good. Ernest Miller is a slightly funnier and much less annoying version of Tazz. And Josh handled himself very well in his first show. Lita got her start on Velocity as well and I am glad that she got a semi-permanent job on Heat. I really enjoy her style of announcing because she isn’t afraid to make fun of the wrestlers in the ring. Hopefully, Josh will develop an interesting style of his own as well.

2. What in the world is the deal with A-Train?! That has to be the dumbest thing I have ever heard, and hearing Michael “The Toolbag” Cole say A-Train over 100 times (I counted) during the Smackdown main event doesn’t make it any less ridiculous. Albert was stuck on Velocity for months squashing cruisers and all of a sudden he is an “unstoppable locomotive”? Does the WWE expect us to take this seriously? Maybe if A-Train stood for Ass-Train ....

Anyway, onto the show.

Matt Hardy vs. Shawn Evans

This was a decent opening match for Velocity. The newcomer was allowed to get in a few moves so it wasn’t a total squash. I still don’t understand why Albert got the push over Matt Hardy, but Velocity definitely made out like bandits because Matt’s matches are much more interesting than Albert’s matches.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Johnny Slaughter

Another new wrestler!! And what a cool name: Johnny Slaughter!! This was more of a squash match as Johnny only got in a few moves and never really had the momentum on his side. Chuck looked pretty dumb charging into the corner and having it backfire on him twice. And his super kick finisher is so weak and overused in wrestling these days. A big guy like Chuck needs a powerful finisher that the fans look forward to seeing.

Smackdown recap

Wow, Brock’s suspension sure didn’t last long. Did the WWE think that Angle couldn’t drag a good match out of the Big Show so they needed to add Brock to the mix? And did that Smackdown main event suck or what? We had to watch Big Show and Albert beat up on Edge for ten minutes with their amazing arsenal of punches and clotheslines. Angle got in about two minutes of offense at the end which got the fans going big time, but they took all the drama out of the PPV match by having Angle hit his finisher on Big Show like it was nothing. They did the same thing with Brock’s F-5. He nailed Big Show with it three times over the course of two weeks and now it has lost its awe factor.

Funaki vs. CG Afi

This was a surprisingly decent match. Afi showed some creativity with his leg submission hold. There were a few sloppy spots, but nothing that took away from the match. The finishing sequence off the ropes was different and that means interesting and that is good.


The WWE is promising a video of two women going at it in a hotel room. That shows you right there how little confidence they have in their lineup for this PPV. I feel bad for anyone that drops $30 hoping to see some real action. Actually, I don’t feel bad. They deserve to lose their money to the WWE Crap Machine. There are maybe two or three matches that have the potential to be solid, but there really aren’t any interesting feuds or creative developments going on here.

Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero

This was a fantastic Velocity match. Why the WWE doesn’t let these two go at it on a PPV for a half hour is beyond me. Both of their recent matches were great. Eddie and Benoit on Velocity!! Eddie’s interference at the end didn’t take away from the match at all because we knew Kidman wouldn’t drop the title on Velocity.

Overall, Velocity was solid tonight, especially for a pre-PPV show. We got four matches, none of which were bad, and we weren’t flooded with Smackdown flashbacks. The first three matches were rather one sided but the new guys were allowed to get in some offense and that makes things a bit more interesting. The main event was really good, way better than a normal Velocity match.

Want to be famous? Want to impress all your friends by having your name on a wrestling site? Then e-mail me about Velocity, about the PPV, about the Ass-Train, or anything to do with wrestling at all!! I’ll answer all the e-mails I can and I’ll even put the good ones right here in the Velocity Review section.

Send those e-mails to kvg@sportshype.com