Full WWE Velocity Results - 12/21/02
Reported by Keith Vinciguerra
On Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 12:12 AM EST
Itís post-PPV time on Velocity so we can look forward to four matches and hopefully not too many Smackdown flashbacks tonight. Iím curious as to who will be on the show as many Velocity regulars have made the leap to Smackdown recently (or returned there after a brief exile to the B show). Before the show starts, let me share a word of warning with all the faithful Velocity fans out there: stay away from the quick results during the week!! Donít be tempted to ruin the wondrous splendor that is WWE Velocity. Be patient and reap the rewards on Saturday night. Okay, so that was a bit of overacting on my part (not unlike Steven Richards and Victoriaís ďCrazyĒ characters) so letís just get on with the show. Remember, the recap comes first and then the review.
The announcers for tonight are Josh Mathews and Ernest ďThe CatĒ Miller
Shannon Moore vs. Chavo Guerrero
Chavo takes control in the early going with an armbar followed by some kicks and then he pummels Shannon in the corner. Shannon gains the momentum when he flips over a charging Guerrero and hits a fast armdrag and a Whisper in the Wind (without someoneís back to jump from) and a clothesline. He charges Chavo in the corner, but the cruiser champ catches him and hits a backbreaker. Chavo locks in a chinlock but Shannon fights out of it with a few elbows and then rolls up Chavo for a two count. Moore keeps the momentum going with a high back body drop and a running swinging neckbreaker. He hits his Stratosphere (backwards corkscrew off the top rope) but canít get the pinfall. The two wrestlers exchange some counters and then Chavo hits the Gory Bomb for the win. Iím pretty sure thatís what they called it. Anyone know what the name means? Send me an e-mail and Iíll give you credit next week.
Winner by pinfall: Chavo Guerrero
Rikishi vs. Andy Anderson
Rikishi shows his power by throwing the newcomer down to the mat with ease. He taunts Anderson by repeatedly slapping his butt (his own butt, not Andersonís). Anderson responds by slapping Rikishi across the face, which angers the big man. He body slams Anderson and hits a few woo chops in the corner. Anderson is able to take Rikishi down with a kick to the knee and then he locks on a leg submission. Rikishi fights back with a few punches and then nails a flapjack, followed by a butt-first avalanche and a kick to the face. He climbs the ropes for the Bonzai Drop and flattens Anderson for the win.
Winner by pinfall: Rikishi
Flashback to Smackdown
They show the five second clip of what happened in the hotel room and the interview with Torrie from her momís house .... must stay focused .... canít give opinions in the recap .... Then we are witness to the announcement of the second Smackdown wedding in less than six months.
Flashback to Tough Enough 3
Not sure what happened to the weekly recap on Wrestleview as I havenít seen it in a week or two. Anyway, I donít follow the show so youíre on your own here.
Bill DeMott vs. Michael Shane
Bill takes immediate control of the match with some clublike shots and a lot of kicking and yelling. Shane gets in two punches before DeMott takes over again with some kicks and a power bomb. He climbs up top and hits his moonsault for the win.
Winner by pinfall: Bill DeMott
Flashback to Smackdown
They show the first Angle / Lesnar encounter in the ring where they agree on a title match next week. Then we see Big Show yelling at Heyman in the locker room. Next is Stephanie threatening to reveal Angleís sneaky plan followed by the in-ring announcement of Heyman as Angleís new agent and the subsequent explosion and calming down of Big Show. Finally, we see the main event from Smackdown including Brock cleaning house and then getting beat down after the match.
Jamie Noble with Nidia vs. Funaki
Noble starts off hot with some kneelifts and then he mauls Funaki in the corner. Funaki hits a back body drop, a step over toehold, and his sliding dropkick to the head. Jamie gets up and drops Funaki neck first over the top rope. He then tries for a back suplex but Funaki falls on him for a two count. Smackdownís #1 reporter then hits an ensuguri but gets caught going for a bulldog and is bodyslammed. Funaki is able to hit a slingshot and a bulldog but he only gets a two count. He then tries for a backslide, but he canít pull down Noble so he breaks out of it and hits a shortarm clothesline. After a few woo chops, Funaki climbs the ropes for a tornado DDT, but Noble catches him up there and the two exchange some more chops. Funaki tries the Tornado DDT finally but Noble breaks out of it, hits a neckbreaker and then nails his tiger bomb for the win. Cousin Nunzio comes out onto the ramp to congratulate his cousin as the show ends.
Winner by pinfall: Jamie Noble
Now on to the good part .... my own views about the show. I know you are probably tired of reading articles about wrestling that all complain about the same things (and complain about other writers which is really dumb) but at least Iím not going to act like I can book a better show and tell you what the WWE should be doing. So read on and take it for what it is: the ramblings of someone who gets a chance to hear himself talk once a week.
Chavo Guerrero vs. Shannon Moore
This was the best match of the evening by far. Chavo works really well as a singles wrestler and Uncle Eddieís influence has really propelled him into super heel status. The fans hate him!! Shannon Mooreís character (if he has one) is a bit confusing as he looked happy to be Matt Hardyís little buddy on Smackdown, yet tonight he played the face. I know both events actually happened on the same night, but that makes the change even more abrupt. Regardless and irregardless, this was a solid match.
Rikishi vs. Andy Anderson
A squash match. Rikishi was mildly entertaining as usual, but not much to get excited about here. Not much to complain about either since they kept it fairly short. So short that Rikishiís dance was cut off before it started. Hey, remember when Rikishi ran over Steve Austin because he wanted to help the Rock, but then it turned out that Triple H was the mastermind behind it all? Me either.
Dawn Marie / Torrie Wilson flashback
We all knew the hotel scene shown at Armageddon was going to be just short of non-existent, but itís even worse that Toolbag Cole promised viewers footage of it and then they delivered five seconds worth. Five seconds!! Is there anyone thatís even remotely interested in the wedding? The last wedding we saw did nothing at all for Rico or Three Minute Warning or Billy or Chuck. And this new wedding wonít even draw in casual viewers like the ďcontroversialĒ one supposedly did.
Bill DeMott vs. Michael Shane
Hey itís the new Albert!! Watch him squash people in a matter of seconds because the WWE knows we all love big burly men that beat up smaller people. Now thatís entertainment!! I feel bad for poor Michael Shane because it must really hurt to have a three hundred pound man jump off the top rope and slam his knee into your sack oí plenty. I think that was a little out of your reach Bill!!
Brock / Angle / Heyman / Big Show segments from Smackdown
Okay, now I found most of this quite interesting as it all came as a surprise to me (because I donít read those evil spoilers!!). Sure Angle can get by on his own but the WWE is trying something different with him and thatís fine by me. I like how they are not giving up on Big Show. I donít particularly care for him as a performer, but at least they arenít killing him off already in favor of the new plan. And hanging with Kurt Angle can only help (if it lasts). I also think this will succeed in getting the fans behind Brock even more because Heyman is so good at portraying his evil agent character.
Now thereís one point I wanted to make about this that I havenít read in any Smackdown review yet. Heymanís main goal appears to be keeping Brock Lesnar away from the WWE Title. Previously, he screwed Brock by putting a ďno rematchĒ clause into his match with Big Show. So that means that Brock would never get a chance to regain his title as long as Show was champion and therefore Heymanís goal was achieved. So why would he want Angle to become the champion? That totally nullifies the ďno rematchĒ clause keeping Brock from a title shot and now Stephanie McMahon can force Angle to defend against Brock anytime she feels like it. Even though he is Angleís agent, that doesnít mean Heyman can keep him from defending against certain people. Oh well, I still like the storyline here so Iíll stop nitpicking.
Jamie Noble with Funk Nasty vs. Funaki
Average match here. Nobleís matches are never very interesting to begin with and this one didnít get much time. I would like to see Nunzio in a real match sometime.
Overall, an average Velocity. Only one match was above average and they spent too much time on flashbacks.
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