Full WWE Velocity Results - 1/25/03
Reported by Keith Vinciguerra
On Saturday, January 25, 2003 at 11:38 PM EST
Full WWE Velocity Results - 1/25/03
Commentators: Josh Mathews & Ernest "The Cat" Miller
Report by: Keith Vinciguerra
This week’s Velocity Recap marks a return to the two part article. Last week, there was no review because I was in upstate New York visiting Dave Missert (the Heat recapper) for the Royal Rumble. So those of you who enjoy my views on Velocity can rest easy because the review is back for good. And if you don’t, well at least I won’t bore you with my thoughts on the Royal Rumble (as if there aren’t enough of those floating around already). And now, on to the show ....
The show opens with still shots of Brock celebrating after his Royal Rumble victory.Chavo Guerrero vs. Funaki
The wrestlers exchange some grappling maneuvers in the early going and the fans give them a mild round of applause. Funaki takes control with a hip toss and a few arm drags, but Chavo pushes him into the corner, drapes him over the ropes and then dropkicks him in the head. Chavo continues to dominate with a few stomps to the face, a back suplex, and some wild slugs to the back. Funaki manages to gain the momentum with a big chop, a flying leg scissors and his sliding dropkick to the head. After an ensuguri, Smackdown’s #1 announcer climbs the ropes and hits a high cross body for a two count. Chavo is able to reverse Funaki’s finisher and nail the Gory Bomb followed by an STF which forces a tap out.Winner by submission: Chavo GuerreroFlashback to SmackDown:
They show the return of the Undertaker on Smackdown and his match with A-Train. Then we see a recap of the Tough Enough 3 finals.Jamie Noble w/ Nidia vs. Jeff Starr
Before the match, Jamie says that every guy in the audience would give everything he owns to get one kiss from Nidia. Nidia looks around like she is going to grab a guy out of the stands to kiss but luckily for all the guys there, she settles on Noble after all. The match finally starts and Jamie throws Starr down a few times and yells about wanting better competition. Starr gets in a few shots of his own but gets dumped to the outside where Nidia gives him a beat down. Starr tries to climb back in the ring but Noble attacks him and then hits a nasty leg drop off the second rope (Starr was laying face down so it really looked painful). Starr somehow recovers and throws Noble into the corner a few times before getting pummeled again. Jamie hits a back suplex, but Starr once again tries to fight back with a chin breaker and a side Russian leg sweep. Noble gets up and nails a suplex and a swinging neckbreaker for the win.Winner by pinfall: Jamie NobleChuck Palumbo vs. River Rat
Chuck uses his strength early on by throwing River Rat around the ring, but the newcomer shows his agility with some quick moves until Palumbo catches him in mid-air and slams him to the canvas. He picks up River Rat for a power bomb and throws him back first into the turnbuckles. Irish whip into the corner and River Rat leaps over Chuck, but gets caught with a belly-to-belly suplex. River Rat tries an ensuguri, which Chuck ducks, and then gets walloped by a discus punch that sends him over the ropes to the floor. He manages to climb back in the ring where Chuck tries to rip his mask off. Palumbo continues to maul River Rat with a throw into the turnbuckle and a big boot. River Rat manages to nail an ensuguri and then leaps onto Chuck after the big man bailed to the outside. Big springboard dropkick by River Rat followed by a few kicks and a springboard twisting DDT that gets him a two count. He tries his (Diamondback’s, Jet’s) finisher but Chuck shrugs him off and then hits his super kick for the win.Winner by pinfall: Chuck PalumboFlashback to SmackDown:
Hulk Hogan’s return is shown followed by his confrontation with Vince McMahon.Matt Hardy vs. Billy Kidman
Kidman applies a hammer lock and hangs on for awhile until Matt dumps him to the outside and celebrates. Kidman trips him, climbs back in the ring, and then gets thrown shoulder first into the ringpost. Matt goes to work on the injured shoulder with some kicks, a bodyslam with Kidman’s arm wrapped underneath him, and an elbow drop. Kidman takes control for a moment when he kicks Matt in the face and lands a few punches, but Version 1.0 goes back to beating on his shoulder. Matt tries to run and sit on Kidman who is draped over the ropes, but he misses and gets crotched on the middle rope. He gets up and tries a Side Effect that Kidman counters into a rollup for two. Matt finally nails the Side Effect and then hits one off the second rope!! For some reason, he goes for a power bomb (has he ever used one before?) and Kidman easily counters it into an inverted power bomb. He then hits a springboard bulldog and climbs the ropes for the Shooting Star Press, but Matt grabs the ref and gets disqualified for it.Winner by DQ: Billy Kidman
Chavo Guerrero vs. Funaki
Solid opening match for Velocity. The crowd wasn’t really into it, but both guys got in some good offense. I thought the Gory Bomb would be enough to finish off Funaki so I was a bit surprised to see the STF finish. It was a bit of an anticlimax. Still, no real complaints here.
Return of the Undertaker
I have to say I was disappointed that he came back as the American Bad Ass. Why even call him the Undertaker anymore? He has nothing to do with the “dead man” or caskets or anything else that went along with the Undertaker character. I saw the 1994 Rumble over the weekend and Taker’s casket match with Yokozuna was pretty cool in a B-movie way (the power of the urn!!), but this “bad ass” character does nothing for me. How funny was it on Smackdown when Big Show said “your challenge will be answered by the A-TRAIN!!!!”? Big Show was more excited about Assbert than anyone has ever been.
Jamie Noble with Funk Nasty vs. Jeff Starr
Run for the exits!! Nidia wants to kiss someone!! I would give everything I have to NOT have to kiss the Funk Nasty. The match itself was really short and not very interesting. Noble is a cruiserweight that doesn’t wrestle like a cruiserweight and when you pair him up with a jobber with uninteresting offense, a good match is not likely to ensue. Not a bad match, just nothing worth remembering.
Chuck Palumbo vs. River Rat
I was really hoping River Rat would get the win but I figured it couldn’t happen yet against a big guy like Chuck. The match was a bit sloppy, probably because of the huge size and speed difference, but both guys ended up looking pretty good. It’s really strange what they are doing with the Diamondback/Jet/River Rat (is he Spanky?) character. It’s great to see him on the show every week but is he ever going to catch on using new names every week? I hope so because he’s the most exciting wrestler we’ve seen on Velocity in a long time.
Hulk Hogan’s return
I gotta say that Vince was hilarious when he said how disappointed he was that Stephanie’s big surprise was Hulk Hogan. He can piss off an audience like no other (well maybe Heyman is close).
Matt Hardy vs. Billy Kidman
Huh? Grabbing a ref’s shirt gets you disqualified? Chris Jericho does it all the time. Guys get away with pushing refs all the time. Inconsistencies like this ruin the suspension of disbelief that wrestling relies on to make fans take it seriously. Oh well, the match itself was good. I can’t complain too much when we get two great performers like Matt and Kidman on the B show.
Overall, this was a fantastic Velocity. The opening match was good, we got to see the masked man again (and he looked good against a bigger opponent), and the main event was Smackdown quality except for the ending.