Reported by Keith Vinciguerra of WrestleView.com
» On Saturday, March 8, 2003 at 11:18 PM EST
This week I get to test a theory I presented a few weeks ago during a bad show. I suggested that maybe all the flashbacks would be okay if someone hadn’t seen SmackDown. Well I missed the show on Thursday so now we’ll see if extended flashbacks are still annoying.
Nunzio w/ Johnny the Bull & Chuck Palumbo vs. Funaki
Nunzio tries the old handshake trick, but Funaki uses it to his advantage and boots Nunzio in the stomach. He throws some punches and elbows, but Nunzio takes control with the help of his buddies outside the ring. He beats on Smackdown’s #1 announcer for awhile and nails his Sicilian Slice legdrop off the second rope. The match slows down as Nunzio takes it to the mat with several submission holds. Whip into the ropes, but Funaki holds on and then hits a bulldog for a two count. He hits a spinning DDT as Johnny the Bull jumps up on the apron. Funaki chases him around the ring and then into the ring. Nunzio sneaks up behind him and nails the Arriva Derci for the win.
Winner by pinfall: Nunzio
Wrestlemania moment of the week is Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant from Wrestlemania 3.
Flashback to SmackDown:
We see the confrontation between Vince McMahon and Hulk Hogan. We also see Stephanie announcing that Torrie Wilson is going to be in Playboy followed by some footage of her photo shoot.
Dawn Marie Wilson vs. Nidia w/ Jamie Noble
The two women start out with some grappling on the mat. Noble pulls down the middle rope so that Dawn Marie falls to the outside after an Irish whip. Nidia beats on her for a moment then throws her back in the ring. She hits a painful looking slingshot move that sends Dawn Marie off the ropes and falling backwards onto Nidia’s knees. A slapfest ensues until Nidia runs into a Dawn Marie boot. Mrs. Wilson hits a second rope splash but Noble drags Nidia out of the ring to avoid the three count. Dawn Marie climbs to the top rope and takes out Noble and Nidia with a high cross body. She tries a few pin attempts but gets pinned when Nidia rolls onto her after a high cross body and grabs the tights.
Winner by pinfall: Nidia
WWE Tour of South Africa:
They show the WWE superstars and the South African fans. Not sure if this aired on SmackDown but I would guess that it did.
Bill DeMott vs. John Xavier
DeMott takes immediate control with some chops and wild slugs to the back. He continues to maul the newcomer and yell at him to “Tell them in the back”. Xavier hits a chinbuster and a punch, but DeMott flattens him. The rookie tries to hit something off the second rope but gets ramshackled by a clothesline. Bill hits a powerbomb for the win.
Winner by pinfall: Bill DeMott
Flashback to SmackDown:
We see Paul Heyman trying to get out of the cage match with Brock Lesnar. Kurt Angle tries to smooth talk Stephanie into letting Heyman off the hook. Stephanie’s arms are almost as big as Angle’s arms!! She gets bent out of shape and makes the stipulation that we all knew was coming: if Heyman loses, it’s Brock vs. Angle next week. Finally, they show the cage match.
Shannon Moore vs. Billy Kidman
Kidman comes out firing and beats Shannon all around the ring. The lone MF’er takes control with a choke over the top rope and a back suplex. Irish whip sends Kidman into the turnbuckles and he collapses to the mat. Shannon keeps the momentum going with a spinning heel kick and a snap suplex. Kidman finally strikes back with a high dropkick out of nowhere. He continues his unusually aggressive assault with punches and a clothesline. Kidman ends it with a sit out power bomb and the Shooting Star Press.
Winner by pinfall: Billy Kidman
Nunzio vs. Funaki
Pretty average match. Nothing exciting or creative happened. Does Nunzio really need outside interference to beat Funaki? Too bad I missed the FBI tag match on Smackdown because Johnny the Bull is the most interesting and talented member (at least so far as I’ve seen) of the FBI stable.
Hogan and Vince confrontation
Wow. Talk about a heated conversation. Do you think some real feelings came out here? I can’t remember the last time I saw two guys put forth a believable effort like that. That’s probably because they talked about real life situations (Hogan leaving for WCW, Vince being on trial) to build up the feud. Very intense.
Dawn Marie vs. Funk Nasty
Standard womens match, but that’s actually a big improvement for Dawn Marie. The pacing of the match was consistent and Dawn Marie showed some new offense. The pin came out of nowhere, but that’s how all ladies matches seem to end. Nothing too interesting but nothing to complain about either.
B-Train vs. John Xavier
Typical, horrible Bill DeMott match. I think Xavier got in one more punch than DeMott opponents usually do, but otherwise it was the same match we’ve seen a dozen times. DeMott is boring, unoriginal, and he’s not going anywhere. Unless he becomes B-Train and teams with Ass Train as the D-Railers. At least then we’d only have to see one match from those two every week.
Brock vs. Heyman
Not much else to say about this situation. It’s been talked about all week already. I agree with the people who said Angle should forfeit the title and there should be a small tournament at Wrestlemania. It’s just too bad that Angle vs. Lesnar has to happen this way.
Shannon Moore vs. Billy Kidman
Standard Velocity main event. It was nice to see Kidman carry over his anger from Moore costing him a shot at the cruiserweight title. Actually, this match probably happened before the cruiserweight contender match. I guess Kidman knew to act all angry and the announcing was added in afterwards or something.
Overall, Velocity was not good. The flashbacks didn’t bother me (maybe proving my theory?) but the actual matches were disappointing. The first two were only average and didn’t show an ounce of creativity or effort beyond a B-show match. Bill DeMott was boring as usual. They’d be better off showing more commercials or flashbacks instead of B-Train “matches”. I think he may be less interesting than the Ass Train and that’s saying a lot. The main event was decent, but one match doesn’t make the hour.