Full WWE Velocity Results - 3/15/03 (Two weeks away from WrestleMania)
Reported by Keith Vinciguerra
On Saturday, March 15, 2003 at 11:24 PM EST
Only two weeks away from the biggest PPV of the WWE season. Unfortunately, the road to Wrestlemania does NOT go through Velocity. The Saturday B show has been more like a dirty truck stop on that road, but hopefully things will improve tonight.VELOCITY RECAPJohnny The Bull w/FBI vs. Funaki
Stamboli takes control early with some punches and elbows, but Funaki ducks under a clothesline and hits a high cross body and a spinning leg scissors. The Bull bails to the outside where Funaki nails him with a sliding kick. The other FBI members beat on Smackdown’s #1 announcer and the Bull throws him back into the ring. The match slows down as Johnny brawls for awhile with some help from his buddies. Funaki tries to fight back with a Rey Mysterio ‘body scissors into a bulldog’ move, but the Bull catches him and plants him face first for a two count. After Stamboli charges and misses Funaki in the corner, he gets nailed by a low dropkick. Funaki climbs the turnbuckles but gets caught in midair. Somehow he twists into a spinning DDT that gets him a two count. After some more help from the FBI, Stamboli gets the win with a top rope legdrop.Winner by pinfall: Johnny the BullHulk Hogan and Vince McMahon feud
They show Hulk Hogan beating the Iron Sheik for the WWF title followed by more career highlights. “Real American” plays throughout the montage. We also see Hogan and Vince McMahon getting along in their early days. Finally they show Vince’s message to Hogan from Smackdown.Flashback to Cruiserweight action
We are shown Rey Mysterio winning the #1 contender match and the match between Matt Hardy and Brian Kendrick from Thursday.Shannon Moore vs. Matt Stryker
Stryker takes down Shannon a few times and taunts him. Shannon hits a leg scissors that sends Stryker to the outside. He misses a sliding kick and gets slammed back first into the apron. Back in the ring, Stryker maintains the advantage with some brawling and a surfboard submission. The MF’er flips out of a back suplex attempt and nails a spinning heel kick, a dropkick, and an interesting maneuver that looked like an F5 except his opponent got spun around his waist instead of over his head. He tries for a monkey flip but gets blocked. Then he hits a springboard legdrop followed by the Moore-gasm (is that a Blockbuster?) for the win.Winner by pinfall: Shannon MooreBill DeMott vs. B.J. Payne
Bill takes down the newcomer with some grappling moves and then kicks him to the outside. Payne tries to hit a sunset flip from the apron but DeMott doesn’t go down. He mauls Payne for awhile until the rookie gets in exactly one punch and then gets ramshackled by a clothesline. Bill hits a power bomb for the win.Winner by pinfall: Bill DeMottFlashback to SmackDown
Brock vs. Kurt / Eric Angle is shown. After the commercial, they show Jamie Noble at the Playboy mansion trying to get them to put Nidia in the magazine.Jamie Noble w/Nidia vs. Tajiri
Noble takes the match to the ground immediately with a leg submission hold. Tajiri manages to get up and the two exchange some armdrags. Tajiri applies the Tarantula but Nidia pulls him off the apron afterward. Noble hits a diving shoulderblock to the outside. Back in the ring, Noble maintains control with some brawling and locks on the Cobra Twist. Tajiri uses a hiptoss to break the hold and then takes down Noble with a series of brutal kicks. He hits a springboard elbow and then catches Noble trying for a leg scissors, dropping him face first with an inverted sit out power bomb. The Japanese Buzzsaw tries for his finishing kick to the head, but Noble ducks and the two exchange some rollup pin attempts. Tajiri finally manages to kick Noble in the head for the win.Winner by pinfall: Tajiri
The Bull vs. Funaki
Once again, a member of the FBI can’t beat Funaki without help from two other wrestlers. That just doesn’t seem right, especially for someone with the Bull’s power and athleticism. Still, the match was decent with a few momentum shifts and some interesting offense.
Spanky’s big win
Good to see Kendrick wrestling on the big show. I love his finisher even though it hasn’t looked as impressive since the first time he used it on Funaki. Seems like the kid has some great offense though and that is always a good thing.
Shannon Moore vs. Matt Stryker
Wow, Shannon used some very cool moves. The fans gave him a great reaction for his F5 type move (the announcers didn’t give it a name). But he needs to change the name of his finisher. Moore-gasm is just plain awful.
B-Train vs. One punch man
I should just copy and paste Bill DeMott match recaps from week to week. The only varying condition is whether his opponent gets in one punch or two. The B-Train is as uninteresting a character as you will find on the WWE roster and his finisher sucks. Powerbombs are boring and that is obvious from the fans’ lack of reaction to it.
Brock vs. the Angles
I dare anyone to say they predicted that outcome. All week we read about how Angle was going to drop the title and the WWE gave us a surprise instead. Not much to say about the match itself but it’s always nice to see us internet fans be wrong for a change.
Jamie Noble w/Funk Nasty vs. Tajiri
First of all, I would pay money to NOT have to see Nidia naked. She is heinous. This has nothing to do with her ability as a valet or a wrestler. But if they are going to have a skit about her wanting to be in Playboy, then I should be able to express my opinion on that. Anyway, the match itself was solid. Nothing too exciting, but it was what you’d expect from a Velocity main event.
Overall, Velocity was much better this week. We got four matches, which is always a good thing because that means flashbacks didn’t dominate the program. Bill DeMott was forgettable as usual, but the other three matches were decent to good.