Full WWE Velocity Results - 4/26/03 (Uncle Eddie vs. Charlie Haas)
Reported by Keith Vinciguerra
On Saturday, April 26, 2003 at 11:36 PM EST
The show opens backstage with Matt Hardy and his MF’ers. He preaches the importance of Mattitude to Shannon Moore and Crash.Brian Kendrick vs. Shannon Moore
The two cruisers exchange armdrags in the early going until Shannon takes over with a knee to the gut and some stomps in the corner. Kendrick moves out of the way of a charging Moore and kicks him to the outside. He tries a flying move off the apron but gets caught with a dropkick to the stomach. Back in the ring, the MF’er works over Kendrick with a back suplex and a ‘knee to the back’ submission hold. Irish whip by Moore, but Kendrick ducks a clothesline attempt and hits a Flying Burrito followed by a ‘climb up’ ensuguri. He hits Dr. Teeth (knee smash to the head) and goes for the pin, but Crash puts Shannon’s leg on the rope to break it up. The ref catches Crash cheating and yells at him. Kendrick hits his Sliced Bread #2 using Crash as a springboard for the win.Winner by pinfall: Brian KendrickFlashback to Smackdown
We see the Sable Invitational Bikini Contest. Nidia and Dawn Marie tie for first and then beat up Torrie Wilson afterwards.Matt Hardy vs. Funaki, Cruiserweight Title Match
Matt takes down Funaki with an armdrag and climbs up the ropes to celebrate. Funaki hits a few chops, a drop toe hold, and a low dropkick. Shannon Moore trips up Funaki and Matt hits his Reality Check for a two count. He chokes Smackdown’s #1 announcer in the ropes and when the ref pulls him off, Moore and Crash maul Funaki with punches and chokes. Funaki tries an unsuccessful rollup and then climbs on Matt’s back for a sleeper. Matt breaks the hold and goes for a Splash Mountain Bomb (looked like an Outsiders Edge set up) but Funaki slips out and nails a reverse DDT. Both men stagger to their feet and Funaki hits a bulldog. Shannon jumps up on the apron and Funaki charges him, giving Matt a chance to hit the Side Effect. Version 1.0 tries for the finish with the Twist of Fate but Funaki counters into an ensuguri. Matt throws a charging Funaki over the top rope and Funaki takes out both Crash and Shannon with a flying plancha. He climbs the ropes but jumps right into Matt’s boot. Twist of Fate and it’s all over.Winner by pinfall: Matt HardyJamie Noble w/Nidia vs. Sean Evans
The match starts slow with some grappling and shoulder tackles. Noble tries to jump over Evans after an Irish Whip, but the newcomer catches him in midair and hits a slingshot into the turnbuckle. Evans appears to get distracted by Nidia, which allows Noble to attack with a kneelift and then drop Evans with a nasty back suplex. He slows things down with a neck submission hold. The rookie gets to his feet and nails a neckbreaker. He keeps the momentum going with some chops in the corner and an ensuguri. He goes for a power bomb, but Noble lands on his feet and nails a double arm underhook DDT (a la Mick Foley). Noble keeps hold of Evans’ head and locks in a choke hold that forces Evans to tap immediately.Winner by submission: Jamie NobleFlashback to Smackdown
They show Brock Lesnar vs. A-Train with John Cena interfering at the end. Cena nails Brock with a chain and beats him down. He ends it with an impressive Death Valley Driver.Charlie Haas vs. Eddie Guerrero
Apparently, Shelton Benjamin and Chavo Guerrero have been banned from ringside. Eddie takes control immediately with some brawling and a high dropkick. He continues to maul Haas in the corner but gets caught with a back body drop and a suplex. Haas executes a belly-to-belly overhead suplex and locks in a bow and arrow submission. He hits a vertical suplex and locks in the camel clutch. Eddie manages to get to his feet and drops Haas with a back suplex. Haas hits a German release suplex and applies the Haas of Pain but Eddie reaches the ropes. Eddie trips up Haas and applies a submission hold of his own but his back is hurting too much and he lets go. Haas hits another back suplex and a backbreaker, and then Eddie catches him with a spinning leg scissors that sends Haas flying to the outside. Haas gets back in the ring and runs into a back body drop. Uncle Eddie flattens him with two clotheslines and then hits three suplexes in a row. Both men struggle to their feet and Eddie runs into a powerslam. Again, both wrestlers climb to their feet. Eddie reverses an Irish whip into the corner and charges Haas who flips him over the ropes onto the apron. Eddie throws Haas down to the mat, drops him again with a hangman’s neckbreaker (jump off the apron and pull Haas’ head into the ropes), and nails the Frog Splash for the victory.Winner by pinfall: Eddie Guerrero
Spanky vs. Shannon Moore
Awesome opening match!! This was good enough to be a main event on the B show (and way better than anything on Heat in the past three months). Kendrick has some very creative offense, kind of like Rey Mysterio when he first showed up in the WWE. Hopefully he will continue to develop new maneuvers so he won’t become as predictable as Rey (sorry but I can’t stand the 6-1-9 and its ridiculously contrived set up). Anyway, this match had fast offense, lots of counters, and some amusing outside interference by Crash.
Sorry if this offends the few fans out there who actually think Sable is still hot, but Sable sucks. I just can’t get past how deplorable her mic skills are. It’s almost embarrassing to listen to her ‘act’. And why exactly would the other ladies of Smackdown give a flying crap that Sable wanted to have a bikini contest? There wasn’t even a prize for the winner!! Why am I wasting my time asking these questions? I know I’m going to get e-mails from angry guys that say Sable is talented only because they like to stare at her age-flattened ass.
Matt Hardy vs. Funaki, Cruiserweight Title Match
Wow, two fantastic matches to start the show. Matt Hardy seems to add a new move to his offense almost every week. Funaki got a lot of offense in as well and once again the outside interference was entertaining. When was the last time anyone said that about Flair helping HHH? Why Matt Hardy is not defending his title on the PPV is beyond me.
Jamie Noble w/Funk Nasty vs. Sean Evans
A few more matches for Evans and I won’t be able to call him a newcomer anymore. Seems like he’s been on the B shows a lot lately. This match was decent. Jamie showed off his non-high flying cruiser style with some brawling and cool submission holds. I like the new DDT into a Jujitsu-style choke hold. Very creative.
Charlie Haas vs. Eddie Guerrero
This could very well be the best main event ever on Velocity. If this match had been the main event on Smackdown, everyone would have considered it a success. To see this quality of a match on the B show is simply stunning. Tons of counters, match psychology with Haas working over Eddie’s back and a squeaky clean finish. What else is there to say?
Overall .... do you even have to ask? This was the best Velocity of all time. We finally got to see Brian Kendrick back on Velocity (without the mask) and he delivered an exciting match with Shannon Moore. Matt Hardy vs. Funaki was outstanding. Noble’s match against Evans was way better than your average jobber match, if you can even call it that. And Haas vs. Uncle Eddie was an awesome main event. Three great matches, one decent match, and only two flashbacks? Sorry Miz, but Heat doesn’t stand a chance (again). We all know which weekend show is the best. In fact, you can put the first, second and last matches from tonight’s show up against three matches from any single RAW in the past six months (yes I said RAW not Heat) and tonight’s show wins hands down. It was that good.