Reported by Christopher Ouellette of WrestleView.com
Full WWE SmackDown Results - 05/01/03 (Mr. America Debuts on Piper's Pit)
» On Friday, May 2, 2003 at 9:38 AM EST Full WWE SmackDown Results - 05/01/03
Originating From: The Verizon Wireless Arena in Manchester, NH
Commentators: Michael Cole & Tazz
Reported by: Christopher Ouellette of WrestleView.com
Footage of the Big Show using Rey Mysterio is a Louiseville Slugger at Backlash is shown.
Tazz and Cole preview the broadcast.
Los Guerreros vs. Matt Hardy & Shannon Moore (w/ Crash)
As Latino Heat makes their way to the ring, their escapades from Backlash are recapped via video. Shannon Moore's leg was the focus of 90% percent of this match. Lite interference from Crash, but nothing advantageous for the MFrs. Latino Heat picks up the 3 count after Eddie lands the Frog Splash on Matt. After the bell Crash and Moore attempt to get revenge but a greeted with another butt kicking and then Team Angle attempts to retrieve their titles, without success.
Winner(s): Los Guerreros
Mr. America is in the house (well at least his name tag on the door backstage).
– Commercial –
Backstage, Josh Matthews catches up with Stephanie outside Mr. America's door. Stephanie has not yet met Mr. America. Team Angle storms into the interview and demands that Los Guerreros return the title belts to the champion. Stephanie agrees, but also informs Team Angle that they will be defending those titles against Los Guerreros at Judgment Day in a Ladder Match.
Rey Rey / Big Slow's recent incidents are recapped.
Tazz and Cole give an injury update about Rey Rey (he is currently under going tests to determine the extent of the injuries suffered [lets see Rey Rey was used as a javelin in WCW and now he is used as a baseball bat]).
Stephanie is seen leaving Mr. America's locker room with a puzzled expression.
– Commercial –
Mr. America promo.
Funaki vs. Big Show
As the Big Slow makes his way to the ring, we are shown "exclusive" footage from Backlash of Rey Rey getting placed in the ambulance (post match). Slow runs his mouth (the best he can) for a bit about how no one is his size and that at least his opponent tonight is bigger than Rey Rey. Absolute squash here with Funaki getting a crotch shot in late and a missile drop kick that had no effect. Slow picks up with pin after clothesline Funaki.
Winner: Big Slow
Stephanie is in her office when Jason (a production assistant) informs her that Vince is on his way to the arena. She is not too pleased with this development.
– Commercial –
A Train congratulates Big Slow on his way back from his match, Train believe that what Slow did to Rey Rey was "great."
John Cena comes to the ring and cuts a promo on how he was robbed at Backlash. Brian Kendrick interrupts wearing what most would consider to be a tribute to Flavor Flav of Public Enemy (who currently is a traffic reporter for Dre and Ed Lover's morning show in NY). Spanky as he refers to himself starts cutting a promo on Cena with an "beat" assist from a SD crew member at ring side. After Spanky spins a couple of "virtual" record on Cena's head, Cena responds with a nasty clothesline and his finisher the FU (Im not joking that is what the announcers called it, his DVD that resembles an F5).
The FBI are in a janitor's closest shooting dice. The Bull has only one thing on his mind and that is Benoit. A fan who just lost all his money asks for an autograph, but the FBI show him the door.
– Commercial – (Lakers are currently in the lead.)
Whack of the night: Benoit getting mugged by the FBI after making Nunzio submit to the Cross Face last week.
Chris Benoit vs. Johnny Stamboli (w/ Chuck Palumbo and Nunzio)
Rather technical match between the Wolverine and the Bull. Palumbo and Nunzio both getting involved early and often in this one. Rhyno comes down for the save and puts a GORE GORE GORE on Nunzio that probably cleared out his colon. Brian Hebner then makes this a tag team contest between Rhyno/Benoit and Bull/Palumbo. A commercial break then follows (Christy was the Survivor was voted out of the Amazon tonight). Upon returning to the action Rhyno is on the receiving end of this "tag team" match. Of course you have the "refresh" tag where Benoit goes berserk on everybody and Rhyno is miraculously refreshed and GORE GORE GORE on the Bull, but in all this chaos Nunzio flips Benoit over and Palumbo gets the pin.
Winner(s): The FBI
Stephanie is pacing in the parking lot, finally able to leave her father a message about not having to come to the arena tonight. As she hangs up Lesnar arrives in a Hummer. Stephanie says that Lesnar was not to be here tonight because he had the night off, he responds that he was aware of that but he his something to take care of.
– Commercial --
Kurt Angle True Life Champion promo.
Lesnar comes out to the ring and refers to the Big Slow as a "big giant slobbering ass", this gets Slow out to the top of the stage. Lesnar calls him out because of what he did to Rey Rey at Backlash. This exchange sets up a match between Slow and Lesnar for the WWE Title (we do not know when yet [but it will headline Judgment Day along with Nash v. HHH, god can you smell the ratings]).
– Commercial – (Lakers in the third quarter are still in the lead)
Mr. America promo.
Team Angle vs. Aaron Stevens & John Walters
This match did nothing for me other than wondering whatever happened to Barry Horowitz. At least that jobber had talent and played to the crowd. I was waiting for Teddy Long and Rodney Mack to appear saying that this was another one of their ideas.
Winner(s): Team Angle
After the bell, Team Angle calls out Latino Heat. After a bit of a verbal exchange in the ring, the belts are returned. Team Angle informs the Guerreros that was the last time they will "see the gold". Chavo interrupts them by letting them know that they (Chavo and Eddie) are Olympic Medalists, see Chavo stole Kurt's medals from the poster at ringside.
Backstage, Torrie is prepping for her match when Sable enters. Sable informs Torrie that what happened to her (Torrie) last week is only a sample of what could happen to her if she doesnt "play" with Sable. (Come on WWE, lets really cross the line and invite Nailz back to do a segment with Torrie a la Big Boss Man in the early 90s [wait I should not give those in the Titan Towers any ideas, my bad]).
– Commercial –
Video is shown of Nidia doing her horrible dance during last week's Sable Invite.
Torrie Wilson & Sable vs. Dawn Marie & Nidia (w/ Jamie Noble)
Really quick match with Torrie taping to a strange ankle lock applied by Dawn Marie, after Sable turned away from a tag. (Funny thing in this match prior to Torrie tapping, Dawn landed a drop toe hold that had Torrie land flat on her chest, she sold as though she hit her face.)
Winner(s): Dawn Marie and Nidia
Stephanie is still outside, this time again leaving a message for her father, but Vince rolls up in a limo. Steph tries her best to keep Vince out of the arena, but he is on his way to the ring to see Mr. America for the first time.
– Commercial – (12 minutes to go and the Lakers are leading by 6)
Burn of the Night: Piper on the receiving end of a coconut at Backlash, but O Haire is able to salvage the night when he pins Rikishi.
Piper's Pit w/ Mr. America.
Piper and O Haire (wearing something out of an S & M catalog) get in the ring. Piper runs his mouth for a minute about Jericho and then on how great O Haire is. He cuts right to it and introduces Mr. America... wait for it... OH MY GOD ITS.. Del Wilkes (The Patriot). No damn it its Hulk Hogan under a really bad mask coming out to his Wrestlemania VII music (rather timeless since it was during Gulf War I, and we are just concluding the second one). Piper spends the next few minutes ranting about how its Hogan, of course Mr. America does not play along. Finally Vince comes storming out and after a minute or two of running off at the mouth, fires Mr. America. That doesnt work either because Mr. America signed an "iron clad" (I wonder what the downside guarantee on that bad boy is?) contract with Stephanie. Vince then decides to prove to the world that it is really Hogan under the mask, with the assistance of Piper and O Haire. O Haire grabs Hogan from behind for Vince to punch. Hogan low blows O Haire via a reverse kick and levels Vince leaving the arena swinging the American flag (Duggan taught us better than that, we are to scream HOOO, at the sight of the flag [nothing like Lady Liberty being called a Ho]).
End of Show
On a side note, Im sure our very own Mr. Paul Nemer is quite pleased with the outcome of the Flyers/Senators game this evening. But now I must take his tone with the outcome of the damn Lakers game, #$% #^%$ ^%$ ^$%#. I cannot believe this s##t, how in the blue hell do these Lakers suck ass all year (minus Kobe's MVP performances) and then decide, oh okay time to play basketball. Im done for the evening, god I HATE the Lakers and the Yankees!