Reported by Keith Vinciguerra of WrestleView.com
» On Saturday, May 10, 2003 at 11:16 PM EST

VELOCITY RECAP

Crash w/Shannon Moore vs. Chavo Guerrero
Chavo takes down Crash with an armdrag and poses for the crowd as a “Chavo” chant breaks out. The two cruisers exchange some grappling maneuvers until Chavo takes over with a back suplex. He slides out of the ring to drop Shannon, but Crash catches him on the way back in with a charging elbow. The Moore-On goes to work on Chavo with a reverse chinlock, tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, and a back suplex of his own. He continues the assault with a backbreaker submission and a Version 1.0 suplex (regular suplex but he gave the Hardy symbol first). Chavo finally fights back with a high dropkick, back body drop, and a clothesline. He slides under Crash and holds onto his arm, setting up for a pump handle back suplex. Shannon jumps up on the apron to distract the ref, but Crash gets caught trying to use the Matt Hardy book. The ref takes it away from him, Chavo shoves Crash into Shannon and then hits the Gory Special for the win.

Winner by pinfall: Chavo Guerrero

Flashback to Smackdown
They show the FBI locking Lesnar into his dressing room with a forklift. Looks like Palumbo hit the brakes a little late because he destroyed the door and the wall. I wonder if that will come out of his paycheck. We also see Smackdown’s main event, Big Show vs. Chris Benoit followed by Lesnar making the save.

FBI vs. Mike Hughes and Mark Bartolucci
Johnny the Bull starts off against Hughes, who seems to be wearing some old Mideon clothes. Stamboli abuses him for a minute, hits a powerslam, and then throws him into his corner to make the tag. Palumbo enters the match to take on Bartolucci and decimates him with some brawling. The FBI take turns mauling the newcomer until he finally makes the hot tag to Hughes who goes wild with punches and clotheslines. Nunzio gets mad and berates his boys for getting sloppy. They re-enter the ring and destroy the rookies. The Bull hits the Fagettaboutit on Hughes and then they get the pinfall after a double team slam. After the match, Bartolucci gets dropped by a super kick and falls victim to the Kiss of Death.

Winners by pinfall: FBI

Flashback to Smackdown
We see Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie. After the match, Sable challenges Torrie to a bikini match at the PPV.

More flashbacks
Stephanie and Vince are in the ring. Steph explains how she signed Mr. America to a huge contract without ever seeing him. Then Hogan is on the big screen and then he’s in the ring saving Stephanie or something.

Shawn O’Haire vs. Funaki
O’Haire uses his size advantage right away and throws Funaki around the ring. He tries a spinning heel kick, but Funaki ducks and hits a kick to the leg and an ensuguri. He then walks right into a roundhouse kick by O’Haire. The big man slaps on the ‘tilt his head and tell the ref to ask him if he quits’ maneuver and then plays kickball with Funaki for a while. He hoists Funaki up on his shoulder and charges across the ring, but Funaki slips over the back and nails a reverse DDT. Smackdown’s #1 announcer hits a Tornado DDT but then tries a high cross body. O’Haire catches him in midair, throws him up onto his shoulders, and plants him with the Prophecy for the win.

Winner by pinfall: Shawn O’Haire

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VELOCITY REVIEW

Crash vs. Chavo Guerrero
Solid opening match. It’s so great to see the fans behind Chavo. He’s such a solid wrestler and now Uncle Eddie has helped him get over as a singles competitor. Nothing too spectacular in the match as Crash stuck to his usual brawling style, but they worked well together. Love Chavo’s finisher. Too bad he’s not still using the brainbuster though.

FBI vs. Jobbers
Total squash but not horrible. The FBI work well together and have some interesting offense. The crowd gave good reactions to all their power moves (if that really was live crowd noise). I think it’s time for the FBI to make a permanent move to Smackdown and work against better competition.

Torrie and Sable
Relying on bikini contests to sell PPV buys? With two of the worst main events in history (Nash vs. HHH, Big Show vs. Lesnar), it’s no wonder. Can someone please buy Sable some acting lessons? I am going to start calling her the ‘human cue card’ because she always sounds like she is reading off one. Either that or the ‘assless wonder’. Take your pick.

Mr. America
This storyline is dumb. And they wasted almost 1/4 of Velocity on it. Enough said.

Shawn O’Haire vs. Funaki
Wow, O’Haire’s finisher is nasty. It looks like a DVD but way faster. Funaki put forth a nice effort in this match and used a few really cool counters. O’Haire is a monster for sure, but I’d like to see him use a more varied offense since we all know he can fly a bit too.

Overall, Velocity was not good. That’s a few bad weeks in a row now. What’s going on here?! We only got three matches, two of which were squashes. Yes, they were somewhat entertaining, but still squashes. The opening match was decent but you can’t rely on the first match to carry the whole show. Flashbacks were way too numerous and not interesting at all and I didn’t even see Smackdown this week. Very poor showing for the B show.

Sorry to say that I won’t be here for the next two weeks. Hopefully Miz will pull double duty and recap both Velocity and Heat. Enjoy the PPV next Sunday .... and I’ll see you in a few weeks.