Reported by Dave Missert of WrestleView.com
» On Sunday, May 18, 2003 at 1:17 PM EST

Full WWE Velocity Results - 5/17/03
Reported by: Dave Missert of WrestleView.com
Commentated by: Josh Matthews and Ernest “The Cat” Miller

Happy Sunday everyone, this is Miz, with your double dose of weekend recaps. I’ll start with a recap of Velocity as a fill in for Keith, and finish off tonight with the pre-PPV edition of Sunday Night Heat. It’s been a while since I’ve reviewed Velocity, so let’s hope I can keep up with Keith’s standards of excellence. Let’s get on with the show.

VELOCITY RECAP

Crash Holly (w/ Shannon Moore) vs. Brian “Spanky” Kendrick
The match opens up with the two contestants tying up, with Crash taking the upper hand with a face lock and a shoulder block, followed by a hip toss. Crash takes Kendrick to the mat with a finger lock, but Spanky reverses the hold with a spring board into an arm drag, tossing Crash to the floor. Spanky slides into Crash, but is taken to the ground. Crash is back in control as he whips Kendrick hard into the corner, followed by a Version One suplex and a two count. Rake to the eyes by Holly, as he backs Kendrick into the corner and shoves his boot into Kendrick’s face. Surfboard arm lock by Crash, as Kendrick reverses the move and goes on the offensive with a forearm to the face. Dropkick by Spanky into a back body drop, followed up with a side salto kick. He misses an Ensiguri as Crash rolls him up for a two count. Kendrick gets whipped into the corner and hits an unorthodox looking Moonsault for a two count. Back elbow by Crash as Moore distracts the ref and slides the Hardy Boyz book into him. Kendrick ducks the book as Crash hits Moore with the book. While distracted, Kendrick hits Crash with the Sliced Bread Number Two for the three count.

Winner by pinfall: Brian “Spanky” Kendrick

Flashback to Smackdown

In this segment, Vince McMahon is in the ring, offering an open contract to whoever can unmask Mr. America to reveal that he is Hulk Hogan at Judgment Day. Piper agrees to take on Hogan at the PPV.

A-Train vs. Chris Kanyon
Kanyon opens the match by cutting a promo, asking “Who better than Kanyon.” Apparently the A-Train didn’t want to hear it, as he attacks him before he can say anything else. A-Train is in control early, as he tosses around Kanyon, backs him into a corner and stomps on him. Albert goes to the second rope and hits a splash on Kanyon for a two count. A-Train goes to work on the back of Kanyon with some punches and knees, followed by a bear hug. Kanyon breaks the hold, but Albert locks in the bear hug once again. This goes on for several minutes until Kanyon breaks the hold with some punches to the face of A-Train. Kanyon leaps into the ropes, but Albert catches him and hits a powerslam. Albert goes to the second rope and tries for a splash, but Kanyon gets his leg up and goes on the offensive. Kanyon goes to the second rope and hits a spinning elbow to the face of Albert. Kanyon hits a swinging neckbreaker for a two count and goes up to the second rope, but is caught as he for a flying axe handle, but is caught by Albert, who hits the De-Railer powerbomb for the victory.

Winner by pinfall: A-Train

Flashback to Smackdown

Torrie and Sable give the audience a sneak peak of what they will be wearing for their bikini showdown at the PPV on Sunday.

Flashback to Smackdown

An interview with Rey Mysterio is shown, as he is beat up by the Big Show, only to be saved by Brock Lesnar.

Rhyno vs. Bill DeMott
The match opens up with a staredown between the two grapplers as “RHYNO” chants fill the arena. Coller and elbow tie-up to start, followed by a test of strength that is broken when DeMott kicks Rhyno. The two exchange chops until DeMott backs Rhyno into the corner and goes to work on him with some chops and kicks. Rhyno whips DeMott into the corner and drops a shoulder into the midsection of the Tough Enough trainer. Swinging neckbreaker by DeMott for a two count. He applies a rear chin lock and takes Rhyno to the mat. Two count as Rhyno breaks the hold and goes on the offensive with a mammoth clothesline. Rhyno hits a spine buster and signals for the Gore, which he hits with authority for the three count.

Winner by Gore: Rhyno

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VELOCITY REVIEW

Crash Holly (w/ Shannon Moore) vs. Brian “Spanky” Kendrick
Well that was a fairly solid opening match. Not a whole lot of great spots from Kendrick, as his high-flying style is so much different from Crash’s mat brawling and grappling techniques. Kendrick’s offense is so bizarre and unorthodox, that I can see where it would be tough for other wrestlers to get into a groove against him. The kid has a great arsenal of kicks and flips. Crash continues to impress as well, as I’ve seen him improve greatly over the past few weeks. I also think his opening on the Titan-Tron is hilarious. If you haven’t seen it to know what I’m talking about, check out Velocity some week and see.

On a side note, what is the deal with Spike TV? What a foolish name that is.

Flashback to Smackdown

What a foolish angle this is. Does anyone really want to see Hulk Hogan take on Roddy Piper again? Wasn’t McMahon the one who insulted Eric Bischoff for booking this match in WCW five years ago? If you thought that was bad five years ago, wait until you see how wretched the match at the PPV will be. I like Piper’s interview segment on Piper’s Pit, but I really have no use for him as a 50 year old wrestler. And what was the deal with the one legged guy? That was kind of creepy. I think I read somewhere that the WWE signed a wrestler with a prosthetic leg, so maybe it was that guy. You know that with all the talent that Smackdown has on it’s roster, you would think that they would push the younger guys instead of boring us with the geriatric match of Hogan vs. Piper.

A-Train vs. Chris Kanyon
What a horrible match this was. One of the reasons I like Kanyon, is because of his crazy moves in the ring. Yeah, we didn’t see any of them today, as he hardly got any offense in. Assbert basically squashed him all over the place with his arsenal of highly technical punches and kicks.

Flashback to Smackdown

Torrie and Sable claim that the bikinis they will be wearing at Judgment Day will be more revealing than what they wore on Smackdown. Are you kidding me, has the WWE sunk so low that they are still trying to tease the fans with the possibility of seeing boobs just to increase buy rates. Sable is such a horrible actor. All of her promos are forced and time has really taken a toll on her body. She has no ass! Seriously, it’s just like her back goes straight into the backs of her legs.

Flashback to Smackdown

Wow this is boring. Does anyone really want to see the Big Show abuse little Rey? Is this a way to get him over? And why is the Big Show getting a title shot? What has he done to deserve this latest shot and push? He’s boring in the ring, his character is boring, and he is boring in general. Why do they keep ruining Brock giving Big Show an F5? The first time he did it was very impressive, but the more you do it, the more the fans get immune to such an incredible feat of strength. And come on, a stretcher match? Is that supposed to get me to want to order the PPV? Sorry, Mr. McMahon, but I’ll be doing my laundry instead of wasting 30 dollars for garbage.

B-Train vs. Rhyno
Hey look, it’s Keith’s favorite wrestler, the B-Train. And look, he’s in the Velocity main event with Rhyno of all people. Are you kidding me? What did Rhyno do to deserve this? This was a slow and awful match, with no real excitement until Rhyno hit one of my favorite finishers, the Gore.

All in all, Velocity was not good tonight. I understand that we had to have extra flashbacks to Smackdown to make up for Chavo’s match that did not get aired because of his injury. However, did they really need to spend 10 or 15 minutes on the Hogan vs. Piper vs. McMahon feud? I didn’t see Smackdown this week, and this show did nothing to make me wish I had seen it. I’ll see you all tonight for the pre-Judgment Day edition of Sunday Night Heat.