Reported by Keith Vinciguerra of WrestleView.com
» On Sunday, June 8, 2003 at 2:44 PM EST

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VELOCITY RECAP

As the show opens, Josh Matthews and Ernest “The Cat” Miller arrive at the arena. The Cat is making Josh drive and carry his stuff. Then Spanky arrives on a pogo stick and tries to get the valet to park it for him.

Crash w/Shannon Moore vs. Orlando Jordan
Orlando now has his own entrance and theme music so it appears he’ll be sticking around for awhile. The two wrestlers grapple early on, exchanging headlocks and armbars. Orlando takes control with a dropkick and a few armdrags. Crash takes over with a knee to the gut and a hard Irish whip into the corner that sends Orlando to his knees. He locks in an armbar and then drops Jordan with another knee to the gut. The rookie fights back with some punches, a back body drop and an uppercut to the chest that gets him a two count. Orlando climbs the ropes for a high cross body and gets another two count. Crash is able to slide over the back on a body slam attempt and gets the cheap rollup pin with Shannon pulling his arm for extra leverage

Winner by pinfall: Crash

Flashback to Smackdown
First they show a shorter version of the Angle / Coldplay promo. Then we see Angle in the ring from Thursday including the confrontation with Big Show and conversation with Brock Lesnar.

A-Train vs. Funaki
Funaki gets in a few punches, a dropkick to the knee and an ensuguri before A-Train flattens him with a bicycle kick and the Train Wreck. Match over. Out comes Bill DeMott to tell another really bad joke. The punchline is something about Albert needing to shave his back and then DeMott charges the ring and knocks Albert over the top rope with a clothesline.

Winner by pinfall: A-Train

A-Train vs. Bill DeMott
As we come back from the commercial, the two big men are battling already. A-Train takes over with a bodyslam and a few splashes. He continues the assault with a shortarm clothesline and a second rope splash. Then he locks in a bear hug for about five minutes, sucking the wind out of DeMott and the fans watching. Bill finally fights back with a spinebuster and gets the quick roll up win after Albert misses a running avalanche.

Winner by pinfall: Bill DeMott

Flashback to Smackdown
They show Rey Mysterio winning the cruiserweight championship from Matt Hardy.

Shawn O’Haire vs. Spanky
I didn’t realize that O’Haire is from parts unknown. He throws Spanky around the ring for awhile until the cruiserweight hits a high dropkick and a running elbow. O’Haire floors him with a vicious clothesline and continues the assault with a bodyslam throw. He locks in an armbar / neck submission for a few minutes and then goes for his finisher, but Spanky slides over his back and nails a springboard flying burrito, Dr. Teeth, and a climb up ensuguri. He then hits a swinging DDT off the top rope. Spanky tries for his finisher, Sliced Bread #2, but O’Haire catches him on his shoulders and nails The Prophecy for the win.

Winner by pinfall: Shawn O’Haire

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VELOCITY REVIEW

Orlando Jordan vs. Crash
Good opening match. Jordan got a chance to showcase his wrestling ability this week and his amateur background is evident. I’m not really into the boxing aspect of Jordan’s repertoire, especially since punches are technically illegal in wrestling. The ending was a bit cheap, but hopefully this will lead to a feud between Orlando and the MF’ers. Any extra storyline on Velocity is certainly welcome.

Ass Train vs. Funaki
NOT AGAIN!!!! These guys wrestled like five weeks in a row last year. At least Josh Matthews made reference to this by saying their record against each other is an even 400 wins for each.

B-Train vs. A-Train
Oh the humanity. I once feared that they would pair these two together as a tag team but this is even worse. The match was incredibly boring, especially since half of it was Ass Train holding DeMott in a bear hug. The ending was just plain stupid. A-Train was built up as a monster who challenged for the world championship and now he loses on a rollup when he wasn’t even hurt? I fear this is the beginning of a feud between these two ....

Shawn O’Haire vs. Spanky
This was a solid main event. It bogged down for awhile when O’Haire used the armbar, but Spanky’s flurry of moves near the end and the cool reversal finish made it a winner.

Another sub-par Velocity. The opening match was decent and the main event was good, but the middle of the show was awful. We should be able to file some sort of grievance against the WWE for making us watch two A-Train matches in one show. At least the flashbacks were relatively interesting.