Full WWE Velocity Results - 7/19/03 (Spanky & Funaki vs. The FBI + A-Train)

Reported by Keith Vinciguerra of WrestleView.com
Ľ On Sunday, July 20, 2003 at 12:47 PM EST

Full WWE Velocity Results - 7/19/03
Commentators: Ernest "The Cat" Miller & Josh Mathews
Report by: Keith Vinciguerra of WrestleView.com

Now this is really odd. I thought for sure that Vengeance was this weekend. The U.S. Title tournament is down to two people, weíve already seen Angle and Lesnar each take on the Big Show, Zach and Vince announced their match two shows ago (as did Stephanie and Sable), Kidman and Rey already won their #1 contender match for the tag titles. What is left to do next Thursday? A couple of insta-feuds to fill out the card? Anyway, on to Velocity.


The FBI (Palumbo & Stamboli) vs. Spanky & Funaki
Spanky starts off against Chuck and gets dropped immediately with a kneelift. He slides out of a bodyslam and tags in Funaki who hits a high cross body, dropkick to the knee and spinning head scissors. He tags in Spanky and they double team Chuck. Josh Matthews mentions Funakiís old partner, Taka Michinoku. Whatever happened to him? Have we seen him since that nasty Royal Rumble face plant a few years ago? Chuck levels Spanky with a clothesline and tags in Johnny the Bull. Spanky uses his quickness to take down the Bull several times but Nunzio distracts him on the outside and Chuck flattens him with a kick to the head. The FBI take advantage of this and pummels Spanky with power moves. HBKís brightest student finally manages to make the hot tag after being thrown into the air by both FBI members and somehow countering into a dropkick that hits them both. Funaki hits a few dropkicks and an insuguri to the Bull, but Chuck breaks up the pin attempt. The FBI tries their double team finisher (where the Bull hits a second rope leg drop while Chuck holds the opponent in a backbreaker position) but Spanky makes the save and then gets walloped by a second rope bulldog from the Bull. The FBI tries another double team maneuver, but Funaki reverses it into a double bulldog. He hits a tornado DDT on the Bull and gets the big win.

Winners by pinfall: Spanky and Funaki

Basham Brothers vs. Johnny Jeter & Matt Cappatelli
Before the match, the Basham Brothers are all over Shaniqua, licking her boots and stuff. Whoa, thatís Matt from Tough Enough? I didnít watch that season but I remember seeing the finals recapped on one of the main shows. Anyway, the Basham brothers maul the newcomers for awhile. Matt is on the receiving end of most of it, including a nasty double clothesline and a double team slingshot / bulldog maneuver called the Meat Curtain(?). Matt finally makes the tag and Johnny Jeter cleans house with a few dropkicks and an insuguri. He flips over both Basham Brothers and Matt hits them both with a springboard high cross body. Matt gets taken out with a reverse DDT and then the Bashams hit the Ball and Gag for the win. After the match, they lick Shaniqua some more.

Winners by pinfall: Basham Brothers

Flashback to Smackdown
They recap the two U.S. Title semi-final matches.

The APA give the Tough Enough winners an invitation to their Bar Room Brawl.

A-Train vs. Orlando Jordan
Albert is throwing chairs into the ring as usual. Orlando tries to throw some punches in the early going, but A-Train beats him down. Albert actually has a new strategy as he is working over Jordanís arm. Orlando finally fights back with an insuguri that drops the big man. He throws some punches then hits a dropkick and a flying burrito. A-Train hits the bicycle kick, but only gets a two count. He then hits the Train Wreck for the win.

Winner by pinfall: A-Train

Flashback to Smackdown
We see Kurt Angle beating Big Show and the Worldís Greatest Tag Team with a little help from Zach Gowen.

Dawn Marie vs. Nidia
Dawn Marie taunts Nidia before the match about Jamie and Torrie. Dawn Marie takes control early with a takedown and some kicks to the .... nether regions of Nidia. The former Mrs. Al Wilson tries a springboard something, but gets crotched and then falls into the Tree of Woe. Nidia kicks her repeatedly until she falls to the mat, and then chokes her in the ropes. Dawn Marie takes over with a high cross body, bodyslam and second rope splash. Nidia hits a DDT for a two count. She wins the match with a rollup pin using the ropes for leverage.

Winner by pinfall: Nidia


FBI vs. Spanky and Funaki
Fantastic opening match. We donít usually see tag team matches on the B show and this was a good one. I really thought the FBI was going to win this match so the finish was really surprising. Funaki finally got a chance to show off his arsenal of moves and it made for an exciting bout. The FBI used their usual power maneuvers and this served as a good contrast to Funaki and Spankyís quick offense. Itís also nice to see storylines carrying over from week to week on Velocity.

Basham Brothers vs. Matt and Johnny
Decent tag team match. Doug Basham and Damaja used some brutal offense, including some creative double team moves. Matt basically got beat on the whole match, but he didnít look like a rookie at all. I wouldnít have known he was a Tough Enough winner if Josh didnít mention it. This was basically a squash match, but the newcomers got in enough offense to make it interesting.

U.S. Title Semi-finals
The WWE is doing a great job building up the value of the U.S. Title before anyone even holds it. These two matches from Smackdown were awesome. Benoit vs. Hardy was PPV caliber. And Eddie showed us once again why he is the ultimate heel with that chair shot finish. Benoit and Eddie deserve at least a half hour for their finals match. Make us care about the title!!

Bar Room Brawl
I donít like the APA. I have always thought they were boring. I was happy when Ron Simmons retired (except when we had to watch Bradsh!t in singles matches). A Bar Room Brawl sounds positively sleep enducing, but I know Miz will be on the edge of his seat. He loves Bradshaw so much that he got his hair bleached too.

Ass Train vs. Orlando Jordan
Well, it was better than Assbert vs. Funaki. Orlando got in a few moves, but he still uses too many punches. Not much else to say about this one.

Angle vs. Big Show, Haas, Benjamin
The finish of this match was amazing. Angle catching Sheltonís foot and swinging him so that he kicked Haas in the head was probably the best counter maneuver I have ever seen. Haas stood up at exactly the right time and sold it beautifully. I canít wait to see Angle vs. Lesnar (the Summer Slam match, not the one involving Big Show at Vengeance).

Dawn Marie vs. Nidia
Better than average match for the Smackdown women. Both women got in a lot of offense and used some counters. Not a great match and not close to what some of the Raw women can do, but still better than expected.

Overall, Velocity was decent this week. The best match was the first one, but the second tag match was pretty good too. The A-Train match was forgettable as usual (too bad for Orlando Jordan who could do better given a more versatile opponent) and the womenís match was okay but not main event quality. The flashbacks were both entertaining and improved the quality of the B show this week. One week to go until Vengeance. Will any of the Velocity stars make it to the PPV? Find out next week!!