Full WWE SmackDown Results - 08/14/03
Taped From: St. Louis, MI
Commentators: Michael Cole & Tazz
Reported by: Josh Huntington of WrestleView.com
First, I would like to give my thanks to the WrestleView staff, and especially Paul Nemer, for the honor and privilege of announcing Smackdown officially for the website. It is a great offer, and will be a great experience.I only hope that all of you out there enjoy it. I was once one of you, the many people to come to this great site to read reports of the wrestling world, both public and private. Now I'm a part of this amazing thing, and I'm still in shock.
I'd like to dedicate this first results report to the former Smackdown guy, Christopher Ouellette. He did a great job, and it will be hard to replace him. This one's for you buddy.I hope you enjoy it most of all. And without further adieu, here is.Smackdown!
Smackdown is brought to you from St. Louis, Missouri 10 days away from SummerSlam!
The show opens with Vince coming to the ring amidst a chorus of boos. He takes a mic and announces his pleasure to announce someone who no one knows. Someone who people thought they knew, but didn't.the REAL Brock Lesnar! He mentions that people know about him being NCAA Champion, won in St. Louis., as well as the youngest ever WWE Champion. But he says there's another side to Brock.he is a sadistic animal that he unleashed. Footage is shown of last week, with Vince narrating the events of Brock's attack, then later the events of the cage match, where Brock revealed his new alliance with the WWE Chairman. Vince says that no one saw it coming, and refers to the repeated tossing of Kurt Angle into the cage as Brock's version of 'dwarf tossing'.
Lesnar then comes out to the ring, and says that friendship had nothing to do with the attack. He says Kurt was his friend, but not anymore. Brock's definition of friendship is ".quote! The art of using someone to succeed until the person is no longer useful! Quote!" He tells the crowd not to judge him, that they use their friends all the time. He then says ".You and Kurt Angle have something in common. You suck! Oh, it's true! It's DAMN true!" Vince takes the mic and announces that regardless of Kurt's condition, he will defend the title at SummerSlam against Brock.
Stephanie's music then cues, and she walks down to the ring. Vince asks her if she's here to congratulate, or to say that she learned something recently. Stephanie replies that she learned that he (Vince) would send a monster out into her match so that 'that slut' could get the win. Vince says that he had his reasons, and Stephanie interrupts him to say that she'll never quit, that she'll never stop standing up to him until he stops this nonsense. Vince is shocked, and says that he doesn't take that attitude from any man on the roster, and especially not from a woman. He says that perhaps it was a bad investment to name Stephanie as GM of Smackdown.saying that he thought that she would follow in his footsteps. But perhaps his worst investment was marrying her mother, Linda McMahon! Stephanie is livid, and charges at him. Vince says something to the effect of "You want physical abuse? Tonight, it'll be you.vs. the A-Train!" After his music cues, he says "THAT is physical abuse!" He and Lesnar raise arms to another chorus of boos, as Stephanie looks stunned in the corner.
* COMMERCIAL * Triple H drinks YJ Stinger and beats up on innocent jobbers in some high school gym looking place, and some kid challenges every living thing on the planet to a race.I guess his Nike's will help him win. Splashdown for PS2 looks bad. There's the 'my brother the pothead' anti-drug commercial, followed by a Taco Bell commercial. Hmm, pot, then munchies? It sounds to me like they're selling it, not stopping it.
Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman vs. The World's Greatest Tag Team (Haas & Benjamin) for the WWE Tag Team Titles
Rey is out first, followed by Kidman who is fresh off his honeymoon. (It doesn't mention that he's married to Torrie, as she is selling the girlfriend angle with Billy Gunn). Before the WGTT is announced, we are informed that Smackdown is brought to us tonight by YJ Stinger, Taco Bell, and the Tobacco is Wacko people. Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin are down to the ring, and Haas will start things off against Billy Kidman.
Some grappling and reversals start the match, with the first major move being a hurricanrana from Kidman, followed by an armbar. Haas gets out and brings Kidman to the corner and tags in Benjamin, then lays Kidman's arm on the bottom rope. Benjamin leaps over and lands in a sit-down on the arm. Kidman recovers and pulls off a flapjack into the turnbuckle, then tags in Rey. Mysterio pulls off the common 'new partner clears the house with clotheslines and dropkicks' routine. Rey goes for the pin, but Haas kicks him off. Benjamin picks up the advantage now and goes for the pin, which is broken by Kidman. Billy then pulls off a cross-body to the outside on Haas, and Rey does a hurricanrana out of the corner that is followed by a two-count. Then we are blessed with one of those wonderful mid-match commercial breaks.
* COMMERCIAL * Another Jackie Chan movie, the Medallion. Cool. Also, Nelly is sporting the Reebok's champs line after a barbershop vignette, a Mario Golf game is out for the Gamecube (the regular Nintendo one was cool), and the Tongue Piercing smoking commercial is shown. ("Join me in a cigarette." "What, you think I'm crazy?") I'll put holes in my body, but not in my organs.
We come back from commercial to see that Benjamin has the advantage over Mysterio.so we didn't miss a tag. Or we missed at least two. Benjamin gets set up for the 619, but as Mysterio runs to the ropes, he goes over as the top one is pulled down. Haas tosses Rey back into the ring and makes the tag. Haas is in control for a few seconds, then tags Benjamin back in and they execute the double stomach crusher. (That's where one lifts opponent into air, and drops their body onto their partner's knee). There is a 2-count, but Kidman makes the save. Benjamin puts a bear-hug on Mysterio, and it looks like he's hugging an elementary kid.Benjamin is on one knee, and Rey is standing to full height.looks great. Rey battles out, but is taken back to the ground for another 2 count. Benjamin slaps on an abdominal stretch, and Kidman pumps the crowd to energize Mysterio. Rey manages to flip Benjamin over for a 2 count, and Shelton makes the tag to Haas. Haas sets Rey up for the leap-frog sitting back smash move, with Rey held by his legs and his upper torso on the top rope. Benjamin off the ropes, leap frog over Haas.and ouch! Rey kicks out of another pin at 2.Haas battles Rey into the corner, and sets him up for something, but gets shoved off to the mat. Haas counters Rey and gets a 2 count as Kidman breaks the pin.
Haas and Mysterio are both on the ground now, crawling toward their corners for the tag. Haas makes the tag first, and Benjamin executes an elbow drop to the head before Rey can make the tag to Kidman. Kidman breaks yet another pin, and as Benjamin is going for a move, Rey counters with an odd reversal that ends up looking like a variation of the stunner, which leaves both men down. The partner crawl happens again, and this time Rey makes the tag to Kidman. Now it's Kidman's turn for the 'fresh partner ass kicking' routine, which goes on until Benjamin his him in the back. Haas & Benjamin hoist him up on their shoulders, but in a headlock/hurricanrana takedown, Kidman reverses the attack. Kidman executes the BK Bomb for a 2 count. Rey breaks up a two count, and shortly after Kidman goes for a pin, again, you guessed it.only getting 2. Rey and Benjamin then take things outside the ring while Haas gets a two count. Haas sets up Kidman in the corner, and as he climbs to the second rope, Mysterio comes in and takes him down with a variation Powerbomb. Kidman follows up with a Shooting Star Press as Rey has Benjamin set up for the 619! Rey hits the move, and it appears that Benjamin flying back breaks the count. Rey goes outside and tries to take one of the tag titles, which distracts the ref, and Haas sets Kidman's face up near the ropes. Benjamin, who is outside, kicks Kidman in the face and Haas uses the momentum for a roll-up for the three count.
Winners and still Tag Team Champions: The World's Greatest Tag Team
* COMMERCIAL * We're treated to the invisible basketball Converse commercial, and a new Red Bull cartoon featuring soccer players. The punch line? 'We don't have a wing'. Well drink this! Jak II is previewed for PS2, and S.W.A.T. is the #1 movie in America. Ebert and (that other guy who doesn't matter 'cause he's not Siskel) gave it two thumbs up! A local news preview followed, and then we're back to the show.
The Cool Color of the Night presented by Maxim Hair Color features last week when Billy Gunn helped Noble out of the Basham beating he was being subjected to.
Danny Basham vs. Billy Gunn
The Basham's, escorted by Shaniqua, enter the ring first.they're all there of course, even though only Danny has the match. Billy Gunn comes down next accompanied by Torrie. Billy starts things off by attacking both Basham's, and throws them out of the ring. He goes outside and the one that he's fighting tonight (Danny I assume, they both look the same to me) gets tossed back into the ring. Danny gets the advantage, but Billy takes him down with a clothesline off the ropes. Billy takes him down for a 2 count. Soon, Shaniqua throws Torrie into the ring, and the ref is distracted, allowing Doug to come into the ring and the Basham's score the Ball & Gag. Order is restored, and Danny gets the 3 count for the win.
Winner: Danny Basham
After the match, the Basham's and Shaniqua decide to run back into the ring where Torrie is checking on, as Michael Cole said, her boyfriend (I hope that Kidman was too tired to be watching this match.then he'd find out she's cheating!). Shaniqua intimidates Torrie, walking her into the corner, and then grabs her hair to pull her to the center of the ring where she executes a big body slam. The Basham's meanwhile attack Billy Gunn, bringing him down with a double flapjack. Jamie Noble and Nidia run down to the ring now, and after Noble kicks a little ass the Basham's overwhelm him and set him up for a unique top rope falling powerslam thing. Very simple, actually.one Basham sits on the top rope, gets Noble handed to him. He bearhugs him, and pretty much just falls forward onto him. Nidia at this point is being held down by a foot on her neck from Shaniqua, who after Noble's slam lets her up, only to powerbomb her! The Basham's then hold the ropes for Shaniqua while it replays her attack on both Torrie and Nidia. The three of them leave the chaos in the ring, and we cut to the back.
The APA are sitting in a locker room watching TV, and Farooq (Ron Simmons, if you prefer) mentions that Shaniqua is something. I resist the urge to rush to the bathroom and hurl. Bradshaw says no way! Bradshaw says "She's a man! I know it!" He accuses Shaniqua of being Shelton Benjamin in drag. My bathroom trip is saved by laughter. Ron/Farooq interrupts to bring attention to all the chaos happening lately, and says a lot of people could be needing protection. He says it could earn a lot of money, and questions opening the office again. Bradshaw seems on the no side, saying that those doors where closed, and there's no reason to go back messing with it again. He changes the subject again, accusing Shaniqua of being Shelton Benjamin in drag again. He is very insistent, and tries to prove it by showing two pictures of Benjamin with marker-drawn long hair. The segment ends, but my laughter does not.
The Big Show is then shown leaving McMahon's office with a smile on his face before we go once again to commercial.
* Commercial * Reeboks plugged, as well as the skateboarding movie Grind. Stridex anti-acne stuff and the Subway diet twins follow, along with another Splashdown commercial (that game looks dumb). The tongue piercing commercial also airs again, followed by the fast guy who doesn't need Nike's. "But maybe you do."
Big Show vs. The Undertaker (Match made by Mr. McMahon)
Undertaker enters first on his bike while the announcement airs for the 'Taker/A-Train match at SummerSlam. Weeellll.well it's the Big Show! Show comes down to the ring, and 'Taker takes a boxing pose as he waits for the bell. Show mimics the pose, and they go into a grapple. Show throws Taker down towards the corner. Another grapple, this time Taker ducks out of the grapple and tries to clothesline Big Show down. On the third attempt, Show grabs him for the chokeslam, but Undertaker reverses and brings him down with an armbar. Show gets to the ropes, and eventually irish whips Taker.who comes back with a running DDT that earns him a 2 count. Taker knocks Show down again, and his head is leaning out over the apron. Taker goes over the ropes and executes a leg drop to the outside. He gets back in the ring, and nails Show with the Old School. Big Show stops Taker from coming off the ropes with a sidewalk slam, and he sells his rib injury while Cole and Tazz discuss the internal injuries suffered at the hands of Cena. Big Show clotheslines Taker down and gets a 2 count. Punching goes back and forth, and Taker executes his running lariat move. After selling his ribs a bit more, he does a leg drop and gets another 2 count.
Taker then takes the straps down from his tank top and battles Show into the corner, then does two consecutive body splashes by running from the opposite corner. Show stumbles out, and Taker grabs him by the throat.but Show grabs the ref for a distraction and takes Taker down. As Show goes for a big boot, Taker pulls down the top rope and he gets stuck on them after racking himself. Taker knocks him to the outside, then goes to the floor himself. He attempts to smash Show's head into the stairs, but Show stops him and rams Taker's head instead. Taker recovers and sends Big Show into the steel ring post, and both men are winded. Show leans on the security barrier, and Undertaker clotheslines him over into the crowd. The two trade punches a bit in the midst of fans, and Taker gets him over to the ring barrier again, where he clotheslines Show back to ringside. Taker is winded, and as he's climbing over the barrier, A-Train comes out from the crowd and nails him from behind.smashing a 2 X 4 over his back then running away again. With both men down on the outside, the ref begins a count. Big Show gets up first, and slides into the ring at 9, while Taker remains down. The match is awarded to Big Show by count out.
Winner: Big Show by count out.
A replay is shown of A-Train making his attack on the Undertaker.
Eddie Guerrerro's music plays, and he drives down to the ring in a new truck. He's wearing street clothes, and before getting out he fixes his hair in the mirror (we are provided with some kind of Mirror-cam to see this). A promo is shown for the fatal four way match at SummerSlam featuring Eddie, Chris Benoit, Tajiri, and Rhyno. Eddie joins the ringside announcers, giving Tazz a hug and waving off a curt hello to Michael Cole, who was going for a high-five. Benoit's music hits next, and he comes down as well, acting friendly with Eddie, and asking for a chair to join them.
Finally, Rhyno comes down to the ring followed by Tajiri as Benoit and Eddie talk on the mic. As Rhyno and Tajiri circle after the bell, Eddie starts telling a story about a road trip experience with Benoit. Rhyno makes the first attack, which Tajiri tries to reverse, but Rhyno keeps the advantage. Rhyno hits a big suplex and follows up with a 2 count. Tajiri recovers, and nails Rhyno with a kick to the head for a 2 count of his own. Tajiri is in the corner, and Rhyno charges, but Tajiri locks on the Tarantula. The ref makes his count, and Tajiri lets go. Rhyno nails Tajiri with a powerbomb, then removes the middle turnbuckle pad from the corner. ("The middle?!" I know, that's what I said.) Rhyno sends Tajiri into the corner, and he nails his shoulder on the exposed rung. Rhyno tries to follow up with the gore, but Tajiri dodges and sends him into the exposed turnbuckle, then nails the Buzzsaw kick for the 1-2-3.
After the match, Eddie gets up to leave fast, and Benoit gets up and asks for a ride out of the arena via Eddie's truck. Eddie is reluctant, but finally concedes and tells him to get in. Once they get in, Benoit berates him to 'make with the hydraulics!' He keeps saying it as Eddie tries to argue, and finally Eddie's patience wears out and he gets out of the truck, leaving it at ringside. Benoit is sarcastically disappointed, and we cut now to a promo for the Elimination Chamber at SummerSlam before cutting to another commercial.
* Commercial * That kid still challenges everyone to a race. Maxim's Hair Color has Carmen Electra (yeah!), and Triple H endorses the YJ Stinger again. A preview for American Wedding (which is a great flick, despite the lack of a few cast members) is shown, followed by Nelly (I hate that guy) and Taco Bell. Ben Stein endorses Clear Eyes too, and again I wonder. Food, no more red eyes.what are they trying to sell here?
Metallica's St. Anger is the SummerSlam theme. Anyone else disappointed with the new Metallica album?
John Cena vs. Zach Gowan
Zach hobbles out first, sporting a new shaved hair cut. Not bald, just shaved. He takes his shirt and leg off, then gets in the ring as Cena comes down in one of his shirts (probably available at ShopZone.Com!) and his jean shorts. He lays down a rhyme that is very funny, as always, one thing said that Zach would be the ideal partner in a three legged race. He ripped him pretty well.
So to the action, Zach starts by rolling toward the corner, and kicks Cena hard. It happens again before Cena takes him down with a shoulderblock. More beating, and Cena grabs Zach by the leg and hurls him across the ring. Zach powers out of the corner, but goes flying in a back body drop.insane height in that toss. Cena picks him up for the FU, but drops him and drags him to the corner, where he sets up to do it from the second rope. Zach reverses, then proceeds to do some more high flying stuff that still amazes us for someone who's always in an "Upper Torso on a Pole Match". A springboard leg lariat, and then a springboard bulldog are impressively done. The bulldog earns Zach a 2 count. Zach goes for a top rope body splash, but Cena catches him in the air. The momentum sends them both into a roll, but Cena comes out with Zach set up for the FU. It's that simple, 1-2-3, and Zach is still.always defeated.
Winner: John Cena
Replays are shown of A-Train's recent attacks on the Undertaker, first with last week's match against Cena, then tonight's 2 X 4 attack in the match with Big Show. It then cuts to Stephanie backstage in a hallway, looking worried. She looks at the wall, and looks up to see a bald head silhouette who is of course the A-Train. He walks up to her and says that Vince offered him a lot of money for the attacks on her, but he would have done it for free. He then says that he knows Stephanie likes it rough, and that he knows girls who like it rough. There was an emphasis, almost like a bark, when he said the word rough. (Get it, rough, bark, ruff? Okay, nevermind.) When he said the last part, he grabbed her arm and rubbed her fist down his chest and across his breast, and when he left she was looking at her hand in disgust.
The Smackdown Live calendar is shown with dates from today until SummerSlam before the commercial break.
* Commercial * Summoner for PS2, the Subway Diet Twins, and Reebok. Also are the 'that's gross' smoking add (with the dudes, messy house, cooking, butt-scratching.you know), and another stupid Carrot Top endorsement of Call ATT.
When we return, we see highlights of the Zach/Cena match, and during the break footage is shown of Matt Hardy attacking Zach as he's being helped to the back by officials. Tazz makes a comment about Zach having bad luck, and Cole gets very heated.I was almost scared. The WWE and US title matches are previewed for SummerSlam.
Backstage, Orlando Jordan and Spanky are at a table arguing about something. Spanky says he can, Orlando challenges him to take it outside. Spanky says that he'll do it right there.then starts chugging Hershey's Chocolate Syrup from the bottle. * Funaki is sitting there too. Unfortunately for Spanky, chocolate happens to arc over onto Vince McMahon, who is very angry about it. Vince asks who he is, and Spanky says that he's been an employee for almost a year now.and says that Vince signs his paycheck. Spanky then goes on about what Vince mentioned earlier about bad investments, and says the worst was probably the XFL. Vince demands to know what place Spanky has in advising him about investments, then informs him that he's going to invest in him.and that entails Spanky going to the ring right now, because the investment includes the REAL Brock Lesnar, one on one! We then go to commercial again.
* Commercial * Jeepers Creepers 2, Invisible Basketball Converse, Mario Golf, Pothead Brother, The Medallion, Taco Bell, and Stridex. Also, Advance America can help you with unexpected bills!
Show opens with a view from the street outside the St. Louis arena, and then Brock's music hits and we're ready to go.
Brock Lesnar vs. Spanky
As Lesnar makes his way to the ring, we are told that YJ Stinger is the official sponsor of SummerSlam. What will they say if their endorser, Triple H, loses? Not that he will, but hey, it could happen! When Spanky's music hits, he runs straight down to the ring, and goes for Lesnar.but that was not a good idea, as Lesnar immediately starts beating him down. Spanky attempts a hurricanrana, but Lesnar turns it into a triple powerbomb. Lesnar goes to the outside, and throws a staff person into the ground so that he can grab their chair. He takes it into the ring, and scares off the ref. He then nails Spanky in the head, and beats him in the back a few times. Spanky rolls over to reveal his head split open. Lesnar rubs the blood on Spanky's face, then on his own chest before hitting him with a couple hard headbutts and throwing him to the outside. Lesnar stands over Spanky a moment, then lifts him over his head and throws him into the turnbuckle post.The fans reply with a proper 'Holy Shit' chant, and Lesnar's music cues.
Winner: Spanky by DQ (although no announcement of such is made)
A replay is shown of Spanky being thrown into the post. Spanky convulses on the ground while coughing, and as Lesnar is going up the ramp he is met by Vince. McMahon raises his arms in victory, then parts ways as Lesnar heads to the back and Vince makes his way to the ring. Footage cuts to Stephanie walking backstage presumably to the ring, wringing her hands and looking very worried.
* Commercial * That guy who doesn't need those shoes, Splashdown, Freddy vs. Jason (Freddy wins by default), Jak II, a local news preview, Advance America returns, and those stupid Blockbuster Video rodents showcase before coming back to the show.
The Lugz Boot of the Week is the Vengeance attack on Stephanie by the A-Train.
Moments ago.we see highlights of Lesnar destroying Spanky, who during the break is taken out on a stretcher. I should also mention that Spanky was wearing some pretty gay pink & purple sparkly shorts and a shirt to match. I would've done the same if I were Lesnar.
Vince is in the ring now, and announces that the guest ring announcer will be.Sable! Her music cues and she comes down to the ring to be handed the mic. Vince is ooh-la-la-ing at her outfit as she walks down the ramp. She announces the first competitor as 'the woman I beat at Vengeance, and my boss, the GM of Smackdown.Stephanie McMahon'.
Stephanie McMahon vs. A-Train
Steph makes her way to the ring, and tries to get at Sable but is held back by the ref. Sable taunts her, and says that this will be a no-count-out match so that she can't 'run away'. Before Sable can announce A-Train, Stephanie attacks her. After pounding her a couple times, A-Train's music hits and Steph stops the assault to look over her shoulder in worry. He steps into the ring and walks toward her with a smile as she backs away into the corner. Stephanie slaps him in the face, and his smile fades. A-Train grabs her hair and throws her out of the corner with it. She gets up in the opposite corner, and he smashes her with a running body splash that sends her to the ground. Vince is shown at ringside giving the classic Roman Gladiator thumbs down, and A-Train picks her up.
The Undertaker's music hits, and A-Train drops Stephanie to run and meet 'Taker half way. Undertaker gets the better of A-Train with some punches, and grabs a chair. He nails Train hard with it, but Big Show runs out and attacks. He gets the chair, and lays into Taker a few times as A-Train helps in the assault. Big Show deals one more blow before leaving, and A-Train returns to the ring to take care of the still-prone Stephanie. He pulls her into the corner, then goes to the top rope.and does a body splash! The mountain of flesh that is the A-Train totally smashes Steph, and he gets the easy 3 count.
Following the match, Vince is seen smiling at the results while Stephanie convulses and cringes in pain. McMahon and Sable enter, and Sable announces A-Train as the victor while all three of them smile and look at Steph's broken form on the mat. Vince and Sable walk around to where Steph can see them looking down at her, then bends Sable over for a nice 13 second or so smoocher that makes me wish I was a rich old man. Steph rolls over to avoid watching the scene, and the show ends with McMahon giving her the "I told you so" shrug.
The Josh's Final Thought:
A pretty good show, in my opinion...The tag team match I think was the best, and the 'Taker/Show match was impressively not as boring as I thought it would be. Especially for a big guy brawling match. Very simple, but good. One problem...The Undertaker lately has been pinning after a leg drop. Who does he think he is, no one could pull off a pin after that. A leg drop?! I'm sure. I really don't think so.
UPN has a really crappy line up for shows lately...I didn't even bother to mention them in the commercial breaks. When a show doesn't get mentioned, but Carrot Top does, you know there's something wrong.
Poor Zach, the kid hasn't won a match yet. Does no one want to put over a crippled kid? I wonder who his first win will be against. It's too bad he's not on Raw, I'd vote for Triple H. But since he's on Smackdown, I'll have to vote for Brock.
Speaking of Brock, I have to be honest...I've never really liked this guy. But one thing I can say, he's a much better heel. Him and Vince should come up with some interesting segments, if they do it right.
Oh man, Shaniqua is so nasty! I wouldn't touch her with Carrot Top's wang and Nelly pushing, let alone my own. Such a hideous beast, my god! I think that the APA segment was put in the show for my enjoyment alone. And I appreciate that a lot.
At SummerSlam, I most look forward to the US Title match. That should be great...I like all four of those guys in that match, for different reasons. I'm pulling for Benoit though. He should have a World title, but I'll appreciate them giving him any belt. I think he's the best guy on the roster, and he needs some recognition. He and Angle could come up with some great stuff I think.
Anyone else not a fan of the Jamie Noble/Billy Gunn thing? What the hell is this about? I don't understand, really. But perhaps they'll build it towards something...Probably a Nidia or Torrie is pregnant. I hope Billy Kidman doesn't find out! Wow, Torrie's got a thing for Billy's...I think I'm gonna change my name...
That's all for this week. Until next time, wrestle on!