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Full WWE Velocity Results - 8/16/03 (Matt Hardy vs. Orlando Jordan + more)

Reported by Keith Vinciguerra of WrestleView.com
» On Saturday, August 16, 2003 at 11:15 PM EST


Nunzio vs. Funaki
The two cruisers exchange some fast maneuvers like armdrags and hip tosses until Funaki takes control with a back body drop and a bulldog. Nunzio catches him flying off the second rope with a dropkick to the gut. The FBI leader beats on Funaki with some brawling moves and then slaps on a sleeper hold. After an unsuccessful back slide attempt by Funaki, Nunzio executes a back suplex and misses a flying something off the ropes. Smackdown’s #1 announcer gains the momentum with an insuguri and a back suplex of his own. Nunzio gets the cheap rollup out of nowhere by holding the tights.

Winner by pinfall: Nunzio

Flashback to Smackdown
They show Brock Lesnar turning on Kurt Angle from two weeks ago followed by Brock and Vince talking in the ring. We also see Spanky get absolutely destroyed by Brock in a brutal squash match

Sean O’Haire vs. Ken Anderson
O’Haire uses his power to abuse the newcomer right from the start. Anderson gets in a few kicks but O’Haire goes right back on the attack with a body slam and some kicks. He applies the head twist submission hold and then kicks Anderson in the back. The rookie hits a dropkick but gets leveled by a clothesline. O’Haire uses a new variation of the Widow Maker (started with a military press) to pick up the easy win.

Winner by pinfall: Sean O’Haire

FBI vs. Slater Vain and Steve Fender
Fender gets beat on for five minutes. Vain tags in and hits a few dropkicks and an insuguri. The Bull catches him in midair and throws him into a super kick by Chuck. Match over.

Winners by pinfall: FBI

Flashback to Smackdown
They show Stephanie and Vince McMahon arguing in the ring followed by Stephanie vs. A-Train.

Matt Hardy vs. Orlando Jordan
The wrestlers grapple in the early going and Matt repeatedly taunts Jordan. The newly anointed ‘lady killer’ executes a hip toss and a dropkick, but gets dumped to the outside where Shannon Moore gets in a few cheap shots. Back in the ring, Matt chokes Orlando in the ropes and then nails the Side Effect. Jordan gains the momentum with a clothesline and follows it up with a flurry of punches, a powerslam and a big flying burrito. He continues the assault with a suplex and a high cross body. Matt catches him flying off the ropes with a kick to the gut and hits the Twist of Fate for the win.

Winner by pinfall: Matt Hardy


Nunzio vs. Funaki
Decent opening match, if a bit short. We didn’t get to see much offense out of either guy. I really like Funaki’s reverse DDT counter that he’s been using lately, but it was nowhere to be seen this week. The finish came out of nowhere as well. Still, it was fairly interesting.

Sean O’Haire vs. Ken Anderson
Now that was a squash match. Anderson got in two kicks and a dropkick. O’Haire wasn’t very exciting either as he just used submissions and kicks for the most part. I like how he added the military press before his finisher, but he really seems lost on Velocity. Remember when he was a big player on Smackdown a few months ago?

FBI vs. Slater Vain and Steve Fender
Wow, that was a really boring match. I like the FBI and I think they should be on Smackdown every week facing real opponents. But this match was not even remotely interesting.

A-Train, Sable and two McMahons = Main Event?
The last twenty minutes of Smackdown was pointless garbage. Why do they insist on bringing up Albert every few months and trying to play him off like he’s some amazing force to be reckoned with? It might work if they kept him on the A show and made him look impressive every week, but he was just on Velocity a few weeks ago squashing Funaki and he’ll be there again a week or two after SummerSlam. Make up your mind WWE.

Matt Hardy vs. Orlando Jordan
Solid main event. Orlando actually did most of the work in this match and he looked good. He showed off some high flying skills that are a lot more interesting than those punches he uses. Matt Hardy was entertaining as always, but he didn’t use most of his offense tonight.

Overall, Velocity was way below par this week. We had two boring squash matches and a short cruiser bout with a weak ending. The flashbacks took up way too much time and I still don’t know what the point of Assbert vs. Stephanie was (Taker and Ass Train already had a confrontation earlier in the evening so that can’t be the main reason). Luckily, the main event of Hardy vs. Jordan was good so the show wasn’t a complete loss. But this was still one of the worst Velocity shows in a long time.