Summer Slam is only one day away, but first it’s time for Velocity. What does the WWE marketing machine have in store for us tonight? I’m thinking 25-30 minutes of flashbacks and promos with three matches maximum. Hey, maybe Rey Mysterio, John Cena and the tag team champs will be on the B show tonight since they don’t have matches for the PPV. It seems unfair that Raw gets four matches while Smackdown only gets three (if the card is indeed finalized) and one of them involves A-Train.
Shannon Moore vs. Billy Kidman
The match starts out fast as Kidman takes control with some quick counters and a monkey flip. He charges at Shannon and gets hiptossed all the way to the floor. The original MF’er brings Kidman back into the ring and gets a two count after a bodyslam. Mr. Torrie Wilson hits a dropkick out of nowhere and both men are down. Kidman nails a flying elbow followed by a back body drop and a death valley driver into a neckbreaker. Shannon comes back with a springboard high cross body and hits a blockbuster (Halo?) for a two count. BK Bomb by Kidman and he goes for the Shooting Star Press, but Shannon catches him on the turnbuckles with some punches. As both men are standing on the ropes, Kidman hits a sunset flip powerbomb for the win.
Winner by pinfall: Billy Kidman
Flashback to Smackdown
They show Michael Cole interviewing Zach Gowen’s mother followed by Zach vs. Brock Lesnar.
Sean O’Haire vs. Funaki
O’Haire shows his power early as he throws Funaki around the ring and drops him with a clothesline. He goes to work on Funaki’s arm with a spinning armbar and a hammer lock. O’Haire picks Funaki off the mat up onto his shoulder and executes a shoulder breaker. Funaki finally fights back with a few low dropkicks and counters a Widowmaker attempt into a reverse DDT. He tries for a tornado DDT, but O’Haire lands on his feet, hoists Funaki up onto his shoulders and nails the Widowmaker for the easy victory.
Winner by pinfall: Sean O’Haire
Bradshaw is still trying to convince his buddy Ron that Shaniqua is really Shelton Benjamin. The World’s Greatest Tag Team shows up and Shelton is bent out of shape at the picture collage that Bradshaw has created. He says that Bradshaw will know he’s been in the ring with a man after their match later tonight.
FBI vs. Eric Young and Bobby Rude
The rookies get in a few punches and a dropkick. The FBI mauls them mercilessly for five minutes. The Bull kicks Rude in the face and then Palumbo kicks him in the back of the head. Match over.
Winners by pinfall: FBI
Flashback to Smackdown
We see Vince McMahon and Kurt Angle’s verbal confrontation followed by Angle vs. Big Show.
Bradshaw vs. Shelton Benjamin
Bradshaw starts off angry with some punches and a shoulder block followed by a hiptoss. Shelton takes over with a swinging neckbreaker. Bradshaw catches Shelton in midair and hits the Last Call and a big shoulder tackle. Outside the ring, Charlie Haas distracts Bradshaw so Shelton can hit a super kick from behind. Back in the ring, Bradshaw tries a quick rollup pin but only gets a two count. Shelton nails a bridge suplex and locks in a sharpshooter for a minute. Wild slug to the back and a DDT from Bradshaw leaves both wrestlers on the mat. Bradshaw goes wild with clotheslines and a back suplex, but gets tripped by Haas when going for the Last Call again. Shelton dropkicks Farooq on the outside as Haas sneaks in and clotheslines Bradshaw. Shelton misses a charge in the corner and gets walloped by the Clothesline from Hell for the loss.
Winner by pinfall: Bradshaw