Full WWE Confidential Results - 9/21/03 (The Rock, Billy Graham and More)

Reported by Matthew Vega of WrestleView.com
On Sunday, September 21, 2003 at 8:39 AM EST

Full WWE Confidential Results 9/21/03
Host: Mean Gene Okerlund
Reported By: Matthew Vega of WrestleView.com

Today on Confidential: An half-hour long commercial for the Rock's movie. I'm sure you're as excited as I am.

The Rundown, starring the Rock, will be opening in theatres this Friday. Media frenzy has already began, says Mean Gene. Furthermore, the Rock will be on Raw this Monday for a quick movie promotion.

Plenty of Rundown clips are shown. Sean William Scott, the co-star, talks about how much he and the Rock get along. You may want to know that this movie will not be your typical action movie, since all the characters are very personal and interesting. At least, that's what the Rock promises. Also, the Rock is revealed to be paralyzingly afraid of spiders, which leads to a humorous fake spider prank on the set.

Trish's Home Video

Mean Gene starts hyping up Trish Stratus and how famous she's become in the last few years. Why, she's even serving as a presenter on the Much Music awards - how do you top that? Anyways, this segment is a behind the scenes look at Trish's new Home Video, coming soon from WWE. Apparently, Trish spends her time at home standing around in skimpy clothes and striking various sensual poses.

Trish not only stars in this video, but helps to produce and direct it, which mainly means that she sits next to the production team and chatters while they do their jobs and pretend to listen to her. Trish notes that this video has a really unique feature: the Top 10 most Stratisfying moments as voted by the fans. It's totally true I must admit, no other video can claim this.

Outside the Ropes

Funaki inverviews Tajiri in Japanese with English subtitles.

The entire interview is nonsense, and the subtitles moved fast, so I don't have all 10 questions verbatim. Summarily, Tajiri is sorry that Saddam is out of power, loves Pikachu, makes fun of The Karate Kid movie, and uses Green Mist because red could be mistaken for blood. Furthermore, Pikachu is better than Dragonball Z, but might not be able to beat all 4 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Believe me, I couldn't make this stuff up.

The Classic Match

The Bashem Brothers introduce their favorite, Strike Force vs Demolition at Wrestlemania 4. This makes me somewhat suspicious, because if you asked every wrestling fan in the entire world what their favorite match was, none of them would pick this match, and that includes Demolition, their spouses, and their extended family.

But for the sake of argument, Strike Force (Tito Santana & Rick Martel) have a really, really, dull match against Demolition. Demolition wins the Tag Team Belts by smacking Rick Martel with a cane when the ref isn't looking. Personally, there's no WRONG time to beat Rick Martel with a cane.

The Superstar Billy Graham Story Part One-Million... er... Three

In a fine piece of revisionist history, Superstar admits his anti-WWE vendetta was based on years of resentment while sitting at home injured, and it was his own drug abuse that made him lash out against Vince McMahon, who is a perfect, innocent angel who never pressured the wrestlers to do anything they didn't want to do.

So Billy Graham has a bad liver, and really needs a replacement. Luckily, his disease is so serious that he gets to the top of the Donor List, and there's a really morbid segment where Superstar talks about the girl who died in an accident just so he could swipe her organs. Much like a vampire, he feels 'totally awesome' once his new liver is in place, and has more energy than ever. Why, if next, he can grab a new spleen and maybe a pair of lungs, he'll be right back in the ring in no time!

Afterwards, Graham writes Vince a letter apologizing, and comes back to WWE HQ for a visit. All the talent and bookers kiss his ass while on camera, except for Spike Dudley who admits that he hated Graham when he was on TV.

Vince is interviewed. If you've ever believed his 'arrogant self-obsessed billionaire' routine was just an act, this might convince you otherwise. Vince deifies himself by proclaiming "Once we destroyed him, once we crushed him into the ground; like I was determined to do... we didn't hold grudges. There was no need to hold a grudge." What a saint.

Mean Gene encourages you all to become organ donors. You don't need that extra pancreas.

Photo Shoot with Victoria

Victoria dresses up in lingerie and a lab coat for Raw Magazine. She used to work in a Medical Tissue Lab, so this is a way for you to find out more about her life, she says, while bending over to expose plenty of cleavage. If you want to see the shoot, it's in October's Raw Magazine, which Mean Gene warns is going to feature four highly collectible covers.