FULL WWE SMACKDOWN RESULTS
October 9th, 2003
Commentators: Michael Cole & Tazz
Report by: Mike Siciliano of WrestleView.com
First, the small stuff. KIMOSABE, SUMO??!?!?
Now, the card:
Tajiri defeated Ultimo Dragon in a non - title contest.
The Undertaker defeated Chuck Palumbo.
The Big Show defeated Orlando Jordan.
Shannon Moore defeated Zach Gowen.
The Basham Brotghers & The A Train defeated Chris Benoit & The A.P.A.
Brock Lesnar defeated Paul London to retain the WWE Championship.
The Big Show defeated Chavo Guerrero by count out.
Next, the details:
Before the opening pyro, a recap is shown of the events building up to the McMahon matchup at No Mercy, involving Vince's tirades, Sable's insults, Stephanie's violence, and Vince's retaliation. A brief video synopsis of Stephanie as a child is shown to illustrate the timeline.
The pyro sounds, and Cole & Tazz promo the Battle Rap between Kurt Angle and John Cena later tonight.
Linda McMahon is first out, calling the events of the past week 'bizarre.' From what Shane did to Kane monday night, to what Vince did to Stephanie last week, things just seem to be spiraling out of control for the McMahon family, according to Linda. She is here to try and talk sense in to Stephanie, because she believes it's not possible to talk any sense in to Vince. Stephanie comes out. Stephanie shows respect for Linda's position, but explains how she won't back down from Vince's manipulations, especially after what happened last week. Mr. McMahon's music hits, and Vince enters the ring, alone!?! Vince expresses anger at Linda meddling in his business, again. Vince explains how he gave Stephanie the chance to get out of this match at No Mercy, but now, because of events that have occurred, she can't get out of the match even if 'she got down on her knees and begged me.' Vince says that when he makes Stephanie say I Quit, he will have a clear conscience. Vince says also he is being forced in to this match, just like he was forced by Linda to sire a second child, all those years ago.
Linda asks Vince what he is willing to put up in the match vs. Stephanie. She further elaborates Stephanie's plight, that if she loses, she resigns as GM of Smackdown. Through some bickering, Vince agrees that if he were to lose to Stephanie, he would resign as chairman of the board. Following this declaration by Mr. McMahon, Sable comes out. Sable announces her services are being rendered to Mr. McMahon in his corner at No Mercy. Linda says that she's not surprised, as she believes that Sable renders her services to anyone extremely 'freely.' Sable kicks Linda in the stomach. Stephanie hits Sable with a Lou Thesz press, Vince throws Stephanie off Sable, and as Steph lunges for Sable again, Vince clotheslines her. He leaves the ring saying repeatedly, "She made me do it. It's not my fault."
A recap of the opening segment, with a replay of what Mr. McMahon did to Stephanie is shown.
Rey Mysterio is out for commentary on the next match, a non title cruiserweight match between the champion, Tajiri, and the Ultimo Dragon. Tajiri had some problems with the legendary Dragon, missing his trademark handspring elbow with a kick to the ribs counter, and also missing the tarantula, which was countered into a very nice front powerbomb by the Dragon. Tons of chops and kicks by both individuals throughout this match, also we were treated to the Asai Moonsault by the Ultimo Dragon. Not a textbook one, but one Tajiri definitely felt. Tajiri got the victory in this match with two devastating kicks to the back of Dragon's head. Dragon's head looked like a football, and Tajiri seemed to be trying out for the field goal kicker's position for the New York Giants during this contest.
Tajiri sets up Ultimo Dragon for a possible Mysterio copied 619. He looks at Rey evilly, and Rey hits the ring going after the cruiserweight champion. Sure enough, the 619 is connected indeed, but not by the champion, but by the former champion Mysterio on his No Mercy opponent.
Josh Matthews finds Stephanie in the back. She looks frazzled and upset. She says if Sable is going to be in her father's corner, then Linda will be in hers.
The Undertaker comes out. He believes Vince is getting nervous because of the beatdowns he's been able to lay in to the WWE champion leading up to No Mercy. He knows that Vince has sent the FBI in to soften up the Dead Man. Taker says that you don't get to the position he is in today without some help from your friends. He pulls out a 15 foot chain, rolls it around his fist, and tells the FBI to come to the ring, and meet his 'new best friend.'
Chuck Palumbo is the opponent for Dead Man, Inc., but of course, the numbers game is in full effect for the FBI, with Nunzio and the Bull lurking around ringside. 'Taker quickly hits Old School on Palumbo, and is beating him down pretty extensively until the Bull sticks his nose in the frey, giving Palumbo a chance to clock 'Taker with a few of his own lefts and rights. 'Taker reverses an irish whip, and nails a nice Snake Eyes combo with a boot to Palumbo's nose. The Undertaker wins the match via the chokeslam, even though he needed to set it up twice, as the first one was stopped by Johnny the Bull.
Following the match, Brock Lesnar comes out and begins to beat on the Undertaker. The FBI join in the assault as the WWE champion begins to set up the announce table, for God knows what. Taker fends off the FBI, grabs the biker chain, clocks Stamboli and Nunzio in the head, busting them wide open, and hitting Lesnar's steel chair so hard it nearly sent him through the protective railing in to the crowd. The Dead Man is left in the center of the ring, in the center of his yard.
A promo is shown of the battle rap, soon to come.
A recap is shown of the previous segment, and the destruction laid out by both Brock Lesnar and the Undertaker. Vince and Sable are watching in the back, and Vince mutters something to the effect that he can't seem to get the drop on this guy. In walks newcomer Paul London asking, in fact, begging for an opportunity to compete. Vince thinks to himself for a second, and then gives London a tryout match, for the WWE title vs. Brock Lesnar, later tonight.
Big Show is in the back approaching a few stage hands eating. One particular one hides his food. Big Show questions, and when he finds out this stage hand is eating a burrito, he proceeds to kick everybody's ass in the room and storms off, angry.
A promo and video is shown of Zach Gowen entering the arena, back after his injuries at the hands of Brock Lesnar. Gowen is in action later tonight.
A rematch of the Big Show vs. Orlando Jordan is next. It is announced that at No Mercy, Latino Heat Eddie Guerrero puts the United States title on the line against the 500 pounder. Jordan hits SIX moves, 2 wrestling moves, and 4 punches throughout this match. An absolute squash. Nothing more to be said. Show wins convincingly with the chokeslam.
Eddie Guerrero is in the back with Josh Matthews talking about revenge against the Big Show being stinky. He also mentions that if Show gets in his way, he'll give him a burrito and tell him to go away. He then mentions that he is nervous about the match at No Mercy, and puts over the giant's size and athletic ability. Show comes in, and beats Eddie down, destroying the interview set in the process.
The Battle Rap is next. Cena and Angle come out, Tazz is hosting. Cena cuts a terrific freestyle rap, bordering just barely on the obscene against Angle. Angle says that, outside of the last line, that he can't compete with Cena as a rapper. He tells a story about the white boy who's 'whiter than me, but thinks he's black,' and how that if this white boy uses a chain again, it'll get 'shoved up his ass.' Angle says that at No Mercy, he's gonna make the rapper tap. But for tonight, he's not here to rap, Angle says, he's here to fight, and he pearl harbors the doctor of thug-a-nomics. Angle beats on Cena until Cena clocks Angle in the face with the microphone. Cena then proceeds to punt Kurt Angle like he was also trying out for the Giants kicking job. He then goes for the FU, which is countered in to the Angle triple german suplex, and then the anklelock, which Cena escapes from, and vacates the ringside area.
A video package illustrating the time table of Zach Gowen is shown. Matt Hardy & Shannon Moore come out, Hardy for commentary for the match between Zach and Shannon. Gowen takes some SICK looking bumps during this match, a northern lights suplex in to the turnbuckle that forces Gowen's neck to twist backwards, a leg pull which forces Gowen in to a 360 flip bump. Gowen missed a springboard jump kick off the first rope on Shannon, (he hit the kick, but missed the rope on the initial execution). Zach did hit a nice neckbreaker on Moore, which Shannon kicked out of. Moore got the three count once Gowen went for the moonsault, but got pushed off the top rope by Version One.
The Undertaker is seen coming out of the GM's office, with a smile on his face.
The card for No Mercy is read, which will be listed at the end of this portion of the column.
Anothe recap of the McMahon segment is shown, attempting to further build up interest for the I Quit Match.
Benoit and the APA come out for the six man tag, but the Bashams attack the APA before they hit the ring. Faarooq takes a chair shot to the skull while his head was pinned in the guard rail, effectively taking him out of the match entirely, forcing the agents to walk Simmons to the back during the contest. It becomes a 2 on 3 between the Bashams and the A Train vs. Benoit and Bradshaw. This matchup was pure intensity from the word go. Extremely heavy hitting, multiple germans by the wolverine, every spot was hit with emotion and force that was tangible to watch. Benoit did get in this match and was taking out everybody, including getting a Basham to tap out to the sharpshooter, but eventually, the numbers game caught up to the wolverine, and Benoit suffers the defeat at the hands of the Train with the trainwreck. The Bashams go for revenge on Bradshaw for what he did to Shaniqua last week and hit him with the Ball & Gag after the match.
Brock Lesnar comes out for the WWE title match. Paul London is already in the ring, looking scared to death. Lesnar tries to put over the WWE title, and London for having the guts to actually go through with this match. Lesnar implores London to touch tbe belt, and when London finally does, Brock hits him with a 360 clothesline. The match lasts two minutes at least, with no offensive moves for the indy star, falling to the champion with the F5 . After the match, London is thrown out of the ring, and setup for the F5 against the post when Spanky returns to try and save the newcomer. Spanky gets some shots in, but ends up getting clotheslined on the floor for his trouble, nearly breaking him in half. As Lesnar gets set to demolish Spanky, 'Taker's music hits.
'Taker comes out, says the two guys down there had enough fun, and that he needed to talk to Brock about something. He said that he also had some friends in high places, and that, at No Mercy, following his meeting in the General Manager's office, the WWE championship match between Brock Lesnar and the Undertaker will now be a biker chain match.
A recap is shown of the attack on Eddie Guerrero backstage by the Big Show. Josh Matthews is in the back by the trainer's room when Chavo comes out. Chavo says Eddie's in bad shape, but like last week, the Big Show will get it, because 'Montezuma has nothing on the Guerreros.'
Chavo Guerrero is in the ring, calling out the Big Show. Big Show comes out, and says that because he is 'dressed to kill,' that there is nothing that Chavo could say that would make him come to the ring and slap him around. Chavo calls him chicken, and demands a match. Show gets mad, and hits the ring. Show lunges for Chavo, and Chavo escapes the ring, and stays out for the 10 count. Immediately following Tony Chimel's announcement of the Show's victory, the Guerrero's music hits, and out comes a sewage truck with Eddie on the top of it. Eddie tells Show that he should've stayed out of his business. Eddie explains how the truck he is on is a special truck, one that, just like the Big Show, blows. Eddie gets down from the truck, and tries to spray Big Show with sewage from the truck in the ring. Show escapes the ring area, but gets hosed with the raw sewage in the stage area, falling down repeatedly on it, nearly passing out from the odor. As Smackdown went off the air, Tazz said it best, He called the Big Show "one unjolly giant."
THE CARD FOR NO MERCY, ANNOUNCED DURING SMACKDOWN:
For the WWE championship, Brock Lesnar defends against the Undertaker in a biker chain match.
For the US championship, Eddie Guerrero defends against the Big Show.
For the Cruiserweight championship, Tajiri defends against Rey Mysterio.
Chris Benoit meets the A - Train
Kurt Angle versus John Cena
In an I Quit Match, Mr. McMahon meets Stephanie McMahon. If Stephanie wins, Mr. McMahon resigns as chairman of the board. If Mr. McMahon wins, Stephanie resigns as GM of SmackDown. Sable is in Mr. McMahon's corner. Linda McMahon is in Stephanie's corner.
And lastly, the ranting:
How should I begin? The good or the bad? I guess the bad is worthwhile, since they shoved it down our throats tonight. Come on. How many more times do we have to be subjected to this Vince vs. Stephanie thing. Heaven knows where this is going to go, but it needs to go very badly, as it is about as enjoyable to watch as getting root canal. Nobody cares what Sable says or does, for one thing, Stephanie was a good GM, and deserves to stay there, but if Vince wants to change it up, then just do it. This 'forcing' in to this match is just offensive. My letter last week explained that, and it's still the way I feel. This match, THIS SOLE MATCH will be the reason why I do not buy No Mercy this month. That I promise you.
I can't rant anymore about this match, it's just too damn depressing.
Don't you think that the Eddie Guerrero/Big Show thing is going a little too far, or is it just me? I mean, I think it was hilarious to see Show lying in a pool of poop, (I said it, yes, I said it), and I think it helps to build some serious heat for the title match at the PPV, but does the Show deserve a title?? I mean, really. 2 to 1 says Show will win the title to allow Eddie and Chavo to focus on the tag belts, and set up Eddie for a WWE title run. Why drop it to Show?? Why set this up to drop it to an athlete that nobody likes, and nobody believes deserves a shot to be a champion? Benoit, in my opinion, IS SO overdue for gold, it's not funny, and he could be a terrific heel or face champion while allowing Eddie the opportunity to take his popularity to new heights, moreover the WWE gold. It's sad. This guy, Big Show, does not deserve or need another shot at gold, yet he gets it. Meanwhile, they've got talent to burn there that don't even get a shot at a match on the card because Vinnie Mac's got too big an ego.
Are you as sick of Zach Gowen as I am? I deal with a handicapped child, day in day out, and I am telling you, Zach needs to turn heel, quick, and start pummeling people, because the sympathy vote is making me ill.
The battle rap segment was terrific. Expertly done by two of the greats. Angle and Cena in a feud is a match I want to see again, and again, and again. Angle's first shot on Cena during that segment HAD TO HURT LIKE HELL, it was so surprisingly done, and I thought that segment provided terrific heat for their match at the PPV. WHOMEVER wins this match should have gold within two months, if they worked it right.
Paul London goes for fighting for world titles in the independent circuits to becoming a squash boy for Brock Lesnar. He should go talk to the Ultimo Dragon about being put on the shelf, literally, while still trying to make a living. I don't know London very well, and have not seen him perform before, but this segment tonight made him look like a tomato can, and I don't think that is the proper first impression for anyone who had a resume like London did in ROH and NWA TNA.
Anybody want to explain to me why Nick Patrick, the ref, went to Smackdown?? I mean, I know it's nothing, but it's funny to see that. I guess anything can happen in the WWE.
No Mercy thoughts, APA vs. Bashams better happen, if they want to save this card from being an absolute stinker. It won't steal the show, by any stretch, but it will bring some minor legitimacy to a card that right now, sucks.
I love Taker. Taker is the man. I know he probably doesn't have a chance in hell in winning the WWE title this month, but God, wouldn't it be nice. Having Taker run the gamut against the new blood, like a Jordan, like Cena, like Benoit, giving them all title shots before eventually dropping it to probably Latino Heat. I mean, the probable course of action would be Angle/Lesnar IV at Survivor Series, but wouldn't it be refreshing to see new blood go for the top prize in the business?
Tag teams....if Mysterio doesn't win the title at No Mercy, can we team him up with the Dragon, and set them up in a feud with Haas and Benjamin?? I mean, the aerial tactics vs. the tag team specialists. I could, and would, pay to see that.
Billy Gunn gets hurt, and Torrie Wilson disappears. Honeymoon, or stupidity?
Rhyno. Get traded to Raw and team with Christian. You were better off being his lackey than going on your own.
Lastly, I am sick of the families being involved in wrestling. When will we get back to people beating the crap out of people just because they felt like it?? Some good old fashioned blood in the water would be nice to see around here, but I guess we'll just have to deal with the watered down product.
I guess each brand's got their own crosses to bear. Raw's got Triple H. I've got Vinnie Mac. Who wins this battle? I don't know. Till next week, KIMOSABE, SUMO!
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