Reported by Mike Siciliano of WrestleView.com
» On Friday, October 24, 2003 at 1:09 AM EST
WWE SmackDown Results Kurt Angle & Chris Benoit fought to a no contest vs. John Cena & The A Train.
Albany, New York
October 23rd, 2003
Commentators: Michael Cole & Tazz
Report by: Mike Siciliano of WrestleView.com
THE SKINNY VERSION:
Rikishi & Scotty Too Hotty defeated the World's Greatest Tag Team.
The Basham Brothers defeated Los Guerreros to capture the WWE Tag Team Championship.
Tajiri defeats Zach Gowen in a non - title affair.
The Undertaker defeats The Big Show and Brock Lesnar 2 falls to 1 in a 2 out of 3 falls no countout, no disqualification handicap match.
THE FAT GUY VERSION:
Smackdown begins with yet another video montage of the McMahon family dysfunction, culminating with the viewing of Linda McMahon throwing in the towel during the I Quit match last sunday at No Mercy.
Following the opening credits, no pyro goes off, yet the infamous 'No Chance in Hell' theme blares, and out comes Mr. McMahon with a gleam in his eye, a spring in his step, and Sable on his arm. He comes out and proclaims 'You remember me, Vince McMahon, the man who beat the snot out of my own daughter, Stephanie McMahon.' He also claims that he knows and is fully aware he is going to hell when he 'croaks.' He makes multiple sexual innuendo type comments toward Sable that I refuse to write verbatim here, and then he proclaims that the two things he wanted to get accomplished at No Mercy he was successful in doing.
1. Stephanie McMahon is unemployed.
2. Brock Lesnar is still the WWE Champion.
He continues to describe the multiple incidents of interference during the biker chain match between the Undertaker and Brock Lesnar at No Mercy, and how that in the end, he, himself, Vince McMahon, delivered the final blow to help Lesnar obtain victory. He then continues with more sexual innuendo toward Sable, and FINALLY, we get down to business of announcing a new general manager for Smackdown.
As Mr. McMahon is about to announce the new hiring, he turns to Sable, and says sorry to her, but that she is not the new GM, that he has 'other jobs' involved for Sable. He described the new GM as someone who tried to in the past put him out of business. He described the new GM as someone who after a few moments, you want to grab his throat and choke the life out of him. But, he also described the new GM as one of the most ingenious and manipulative men to ever reside within the wrestling business. Your new Smackdown General Manager is
Tazz is immediately pissed off. Heyman comes in, thanks Vince, says things are going to change around here, and even before he could get that final sentence completed, Dead Man, Inc., makes his entrance to the ring. McMahon takes a beeline out of the ringside area, leaving Sable behind. Heyman is confronted by 'Taker and quickly negotiates his way out of a soup bone laden beating by offering 'Taker an opportunity. If Taker wins the main event tonight, he could name any twisted, sick, bizarre match he wants, for anytime, and with any opponent. The downside to this deal is that the match, the main event for Smackdown tonight is a handicap match between the Undertaker and the team of the WWE Champion Brock Lesnar, and the US Champion the Big Show.
Taker takes the match, but tells Heyman that he is not doing him any favors, that, in fact, by Heyman standing in the ring, 'Taker claims that 'someone has taken a huge crap in my yard.' He then tells Heyman he will win tonight, the plan will blow up in his face, and that Heyman has no idea, and he means no idea how sick, twisted, and maniacal the Undertaker can be.
A promo of the world tag team title match between the returning Haas & Benjamin and the champions, the Guerreros, is shown.
John Cena hits the ring for a tag team contest, and for a brief moment, appears to want to show some respect for Kurt Angle after their war at No Mercy. But, I said brief, and sure enough, Cena begins to trash talk Angle to no end. The other participants come in to the ring, and this tag team matchup is underway, the former champions, Angle & Benoit vs. Cena & the A Train.
Angle and the big man start with some mat wrestling, back and forth action, but the momentum clearly shifts for Cena when he hits a modified Michinoku Driver on the Olympic hero. He only gets a 2. Train continues the beatdown, but when attempting a 2nd rope splash, Angle moved, Train landed on his feet, and then Angle hit the release reverse german that dropped the Train on his shoulder pretty hard. Benoit gets the sharpshooter on Cena, but Train counters it with a serious boot to the face. Angle manages to get Train up for the Angle slam, drops the straps, but Cena is the legal man, sets up Angle for the F.U., which gets countered in to the ankle lock. Train blocks the anke lock with a bicycle kick to the face on Angle. Benoit & the Train fight on to the outside area, while Cena grabs his chain. Train grabs a chair, which is then used to cave Benoit's head in. Unfortunately, Benoit hits Angle inadvertently with the steel chair. Angle takes exception to this, and begins beating on Benoit mercilessly with both men able to successfully execute their respective signature submission moves on each other. The match is a no contest between the two teams because of Angle and Benoit's colorful history.
From a webcam, Jamie Noble explains how Nidia has not regained her sight yet, and that all the options to regain her sight are being explored. He then tells Tajiri that if Nidia does not recover from this, "So Help me God...."
Haas and Benjamin are in the back discussing Shelton's big comeback in the matchup vs. the Guerreros for the tag team straps. Haas then mentions the resurfacing of the new GM Paul Heyman, who shows up merely seconds following them mentioning the name. Heyman claims that nobody from this team, Haas nor Benjamin, called him once when he was out on the injured list thanks to Brock Lesnar. Heyman says he is a vindictive sonofabitch, and because of the WGTT's lack of respect toward him, he is taking them out of the tag title match, and putting them instead in a match with a newly reformed tag team of Heyman's. He is giving the tag title shot to Doug and Danny Basham.
Vince and Sable settle in to the skybox, with Sable waving 'Hi' to the little people.
A tribute segment to the late Stu Hart, with remembrance comments from the Smackdown commentators following the video package.
Haas and the returning Shelton Benjamin come out, as Tazz tells us that Heyman gave them the royal shaft. The mystery tag team for the former champs is Rikishi and the returning Scotty Too Hotty. Scotty takes a pretty good beating by Haas and Benjamin in this matchup, with some maneuvers executed focusing on the surgically repaired neck of the worm guy. Following the trademark lower back shot by the WGTT, Scotty manages a neckbreaker and tags in Rikishi, who takes out the WGTT pretty hot and heavy with sabot kicks and avalanches in the corner. Benjamin stops the onslaught with a sabot kick of his own on the Big Kish. Scotty tries for the worm, but Haas blocks it, only to get run over by the Big Samoan. Benjamin takes the bulldog from Scotty, which sets up for the return of the W-O-R-M. Haas himself tries to save his partner, but gets clobbered in the corner, and is the victim to the returning stinkface. After the stinkface on Haas, Benjamin tries to sunset flip over Rikishi, Kish drops the 350 on Benjamin's chest, and 1, 2, and 3, a successful return to action for the cruiserweight and the big Kish.
The dancing ensues, and it is shown that even Vince and Sable are dancing in the skybox, until the Undertaker barges through the security and threatens Vince. He calls him a pathetic gutless coward for the events that he helped transpire at No Mercy with his match with Stephanie. He also told Vince to pray that he wins the handicap match tonight, because if he didn't, "I'll be coming back here, and there will be no talking."
A promo is shown of the new tag team title match, Los Guerreros vs. the Basham Brothers is next.
In the back, Eddie Guerrero is distracted, upset about his loss sunday night at No Mercy, costing him the US championship. Chavo is trying to focus Latino Heat on the tag team championship.
The tag title match ensues with Los Guerreros doing the damage from the onset on both members of the Basham Brothers. Eddie still looks beaten up, as it is mentioned that they had to take 35 pieces of glass out of Eddie's back after being powerbombed through the lowrider's window.
Shaniqua makes her presence known for the Bashams to begin to gain control of the matchup, working on Latino Heat's back and neck. Eddie gets the beatdown for about 3 minutes until he is able to execute a trademark Guerrero takedown, the armdrag headscissors on both Bashams. Chavo tags in and the beatdown continues. The momentum switches with a flapjack on Chavo, the Bashams then set up for the Ball and gag, but miss when Eddie gets in the way. He hits the triple vertical suplex on Doug Basham. Chavo takes out Danny Basham. Shaniqua gets involved yet again, allowing Danny to sneak in to the ring illegally, hiding Shaniqua's night stick under his trunks. Eddie goes up for the frog splash, sees Basham get up, rolls out of the splash, and gets absolutely lambasted by Danny Basham with the nightstick. 3 seconds later we have new WWE tag team champions, Doug and Danny, the Basham brothers. Shaniqua says in a ramp side interview with Josh Matthews, "MEN, it's time to celebrate."
During the break, Chavo is in the ring, yelling at Eddie Guerrero, claiming he has lost his focus, and walks away from his uncle and tag team partner.
Tajiri and Zach Gowen get it on in a non title affair. Some mat wrestling ensues at the beginning, but Tajiri gets ticked off, and kicks Gowen in the side of the temple. Gowen never really gets any significant offense after that one kick. Every attempt at offense by Gowen is reversed with the educated feet of the cruiserweight champion. Zach tried a tornado ddt, but it's countered into a vicious powerbomb by the Japanese Buzzsaw.
Zach is defeated after another kick to the temple following a missed moonsault attempt. Two Japanese men in black suits come from the crowd and congratulate Tajiri. Tajiri sees Gowen trying to get up, tells the two individuals to get Zach, and they combine to spike rock bottom Zach in to the mat, really hard. Gowen is motionless.
A promo for the handicap match, Heyman's first main event as GM is shown.....
Lesnar and Show are in the back, expressing some dissension among the ranks. Lesnar doesn't want to defend the title against Undertaker again, and Show believes that if Lesnar questions his performance, he'll take the World title and have it join with his newly won US title.
A video package from Hardcore Bob Holly is shown, also showing the bump he took that broke his neck from Brock Lesnar. Holly told Brock he didn't finish the job, and that Hardcore is coming back to end your career, Brock Lesnar.
A tribute is shown to the late member of the Legion of Doom, Michael Hawk Hegstrand.
Lesnar comes out, acknowledges the skybox, setting up for the main event. Show follows, shoving the US title in front of the camera, and also recognizing the boss in the box. Taker comes out, and the match is on. Taker is able to get some decent shots in on both individuals, but obviously the deck is stacked against the Dead Man, and he takes a heavy beating at the hands of the two champions.
Taker is able to hit two flying clotheslines on both individuals, even following a vicious chokeslam by the Big Show. Lesnar tells Show to go to the top rope, as Cole & Tazz believe they're setting up Taker for a spike piledriver. Lesnar gets beat up by Taker before the setup is complete, and Taker goes to the US champion, perched perilously on the turnbuckle, and chokeslams him to the mat for the 3 count.
Strike One. Happy Heyman comes out and says the match is two out of three falls.
Taker continues beating on Lesnar, after Heyman ordered the match to restart. He throws Lesnar out of the ring, and gets clobbered by a possum playing Big Show. Show beats up the Undertaker for a few moments, and then clotheslines him back over the ropes. Taker recovers briefly to soup bone Big Show completely out of his shoes and in to the crowd area. Brock then starts throwing soup bones with the Dead Man, and 'Taker wins that battle, throwing Lesnar in to the crowd area as the referee counts 8, 9, 10. Taker wins fall 2 by count out.
Strike Two. Heyman says no count outs allowed. Restart the match.
Big Show takes a steel chair and lambastes the skull of the Undertaker. Bell rings. Match over. Taker wins by DQ.
Strike Three. No disqualifications. Taker visually frustrated. McMahon laughing.
Show hits Taker in the stomach, Taker hides the bikerchain in his hands as Show throws him back in to the ring. Lesnar sets up Taker for the F5, Taker falls off Lesnar's shoulders and cold cocks him with the biker chain for the 1, 2, 3, and finally, three strikes, and Heyman's out. Undertaker wins.
After the match, the Big Show attacks the Undertaker as he mounts his ride, and proceeds to beat him senseless with the biker chain. Show chokeslams Taker, drops a leg on his throat, and then throws him out of the ring to the WWE champion. Lesnar sets up and executes the F5 on the ring post on the Undertaker. McMahon picks up a microphone and says "Tell him to stay there, I'm coming down to congratulate him, myself."
McMahon makes it to the Undertaker who is barely able to stand trying to get to the end of the rampway area. He is verbally ripping Undertaker left and right, claiming how Brock Lesnar is going to kill him, and that as long as Vince McMahon is breathing, the Undertaker will never be the WWE champion. Vince tells Taker that the beating he took was not worth the match he was about to announce. McMahon then berates Taker to announce the match. Barely able to talk or stand, Taker announces the match and venue, a Buried Alive Match at the Survivor Series. Vince says to Taker, "Brock Lesnar is going to bury you, six feet under." Taker says to Vince that he's got it all wrong.
"Brock Lesnar's not my opponent at Survivor Series. YOU ARE!"
Well, I have to say I am impressed. I am much more pleased with the directions of this show now after the nightmares of No Mercy. Happy Heyman taking the GM role is a swerve I don't know if everybody expected, I know I didn't, but it is a swerve I like. A Bischoff style jackass with enough cowardice to be able to be manipulated for both sides of the coin. Someone that everybody can play off of, and I think it's great. Heyman is an boil on the toukass of life, but in this particular scenario, it is a wonderful selection for the position in question, because of one reason, IT WAS NOT SABLE.
Welcome back Rikishi and Scotty! The angle that Heyman pulled on the WGTT was absolutely priceless. Yes, I am vindictive, yes, I am ruthless, you screwed me, so I am gonna screw you! It was beautiful. And then to have Kish and Scotty beat them, it was the icing on the cake of a wonderful return angle for the dancin' fools. One favor, though, Mr. McMahon, DON'T DANCE, PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
I cannot for the life of me understand the reason why the Guerreros dropped the titles to the Bashams. I don't think the Bashams are ready for gold, this reminds me of La Resistance winning the Raw belts. Please, since you gave it to them, give them some experienced tag team opponents. Give them APA, give them Kish and Scotty, give them someone who can make them look good, as they still need the development to polish their skills as a tag team.
Oh, and Shaniqua, somethin' SWELLED, no?? What's gonna happen, Stephanie McMahon version 2.0?
Jamie Noble vs. Tajiri I want to see. I want to see Noble begin to break rules like there is no tomorrow. The emotional angle of Nidia being 'hurt' is making this potential feud look very interesting to watch. I am looking forward to Noble and Tajiri begin a feud that I hope will excel in violence and lack in mist. But that's just me. What's the deal with Tajiri's thugs? He building a cruiserweight evolution? Come on..
Can we put Zach Gowen away, please. He is not fun to watch anymore, the novelty is gone. It's over. Please. End it now.
Taker looks really good. I am SO LOOKING FORWARD to the match at Survivor Series. Taker should KILL Vince. And I can't wait to see it. It would be the perfect pill to get the separation of Vince and Heyman so Heyman can make Smackdown into its own entity.
Angle and Benoit still wanna kill each other.. And why are we forced to suffer with A Train?? How about ANGLE VS. BENOIT VS. CENA next week, a triple threat for the ages. Let the three of them beat the holy hell out of each other for about 20 minutes. Intensity personnified.
I will, along with the rest of the Wrestleview staff, pass my condolences on to the Hart family, and to the family of the Hawk, Michael Hegstrand. In a 'tribute' of sorts on my own behalf, I was fortunate to stumble upon action figures of Hawk and Animal from 1998. A prized possession now, being one of the best tag teams ever, and one of my own personal favorites. Two devastating losses for this industry. Classics, to the last.
Since Raw is bringing in a classic Survivor Series matchup to the PPV, let's see if Smackdown can do the same.. Let's see if I can come up with one to have you guys chew on...
How about Ultimo Dragon, Rey Mysterio, Paul London, Spanky, & Kidman vs. the FBI, Matt Hardy & Shannon Moore.
No real feud there to work with, but it would be an exciting high flying contest on all counts.
To try and come up with a feud style matchup, let's try this....
Jamie Noble, the APA, Eddie Guerrero & Chris Benoit vs.
Tajiri, the Bashams, Chavo Guerrero & Rhyno.
Just something to ponder and chew on for the feedback forum. The link is below at the end of the column here. I hope to hear from you there or through my email, SMACKDOWN@WRESTLEVIEW.COM.
A tremendous improvement for this brand this week, compared to the slop that went down prior to the PPV. Now, if Taker takes out the boss, we can get down to wanting to see Heyman take about 20 last rides.. It's going to be interesting.
One last question.
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