Kurt Angle & Chris Benoit defeat John Cena & The A Train.
Ultimo Dragon defeated Rey Mysterio.
The APA defeat Brock Lesnar & The Big Show by DQ.
THE FAT VERSION: (too fat)
Smackdown opens with the recap from last week, announcing the new GM, having Undertaker interrupt that ceremony, Heyman squeeze his way out of an ass whooping, the main event, and the purusuant screw job accompanying last week's main event, and then Vince's reaction to 'Taker announcing the match for Survivor Series, the Buried Alive match.
No pyro following the opening, right in to the participants for the opening contest. Angle & Benoit vs. Cena & Train, a rematch ordered by Happy Heyman because of the antics of last week. Well, this trilogy is obviously heading for a final chapter, as Angle and Benoit put their egos on the shelf, and worked like former tag team champions in this contest. Both Cena and the Train got in some pretty good shots, but in the end, the consistency of the former tag team champions won in the end. Following successive hits of the signature moves by A Train and Cena on both individuals, Benoit manages to pull off the triple german and top rope headbutt on the Train for the three count.
Following the match, Train & Cena were having some words. Train piefaced Cena, which Cena obviously took as a slap in the face, lowblowed the big monster, and hit the FU on the A Train in the middle of the ring as Smackdown went to its first of MANY backstage vignettes.
Mr. McMahon is in Paul Heyman's office. McMahon is breaking anything that doesn't move. He is beside himself with rage. He blames Heyman for the mess he is currently in, being signed for the Buried Alive match. He claims it will not go down though, cause when 'Taker arrives, he will be carried out tonight. Heyman says that due to the impact of the announcement last week, and the impact of this match, Taker was given off till Survivor Series. McMahon goes berserk, and starts yelling that terrorists will burn Undertaker's house down, his children will be kidnapped, and his wife raped in front of him. He tells Heyman to do all those things to Taker in the next 15 minutes, or Vince will choke the life out of Heyman in the middle of the ring for all to see.
A promo for the 'trick or treat' contest between Torrie and Dawn Marie is shown for later tonight.
Torrie Wilson is shown just getting out of the shower, wearing a towel, (gasp), and checking on which particular garter belt she should wear.
Chris Benoit is walking backstage, obviously pumped after the tag team win, and Angle catches up. They both agree that when they work together, they are pretty unstoppable. Angle asks Benoit to be on his team at survivor series, in the ten man elimination match against Lesnar's team, announced eariler in the show. Benoit says he is in. Benoit then clarifies that he is NOT Angle's friend. Angle says he doesn't want a friend, he wants to win.
Paul Heyman walks in to his office to find Vince sitting there. Vince asks what he has for him, and Heyman says coyly, "Nothing." Vince repeats himself, and Heyman retorts, "Nothing, I got nothing for you, Vince." Vince then retorts that he is a man of his word, and he will choke out Heyman in the middle of the ring, and then fire him. Heyman says PLEASE, do so. Fire him. Because he doesn't want to work for the Vincent Kennedy McMahon that beats up on one legged athletes, his daughter, and himself. He wanted to work for the Vincent Kennedy McMahon who, when boxed in, is the most ruthless, evil, sadistic, vindictive maniac. He wanted to work for the Vince McMahon that took all of the competition in this business, and put them all out of business. Heyman asks Vince where is the ruthless aggression? McMahon stormed out of the room.
Cole & Tazz ask what type of game Heyman is playing, trying to play mindgames with the master motivator that is Mr. McMahon.
A promo of the recent Smackdown tour in the southern United States is shown, specifically highlights from Augusta and Albany, Georgia.
WWE Cruiserweight champion Tajiri and his two 'friends' come to ringside and sit commentary for the upcoming matchup, Rey Mysterio vs. Ultimo Dragon. Cole asks why Tajiri spat the black mist on Nidia, and Tajiri says "I'm sorry!", and claimed that the incident with Nidia was an accident.
The match with Dragon and Rey was short, and had its usual spots on both parts, no asai moonsault, no 619, and no west coast pop, however. Tajiri interfered in the matchup when Dragon's momentum moved the referee out of position. Tajiri jumped on the apron, kicked Mysterio in the side of the head, and Dragon got the three count.
After the match, Tajiri tries to have a word with the Ultimo Dragon. Dragon declines, shakes his head, and leaves the ring.
Brock Lesnar and the Big Show are backstage, bickering about the events from last week. A stagehand comes in and says Paul Heyman wants to see Brock in the ring, right now.
Paul Heyman comes out with two mammoth competitors. He introduces Nathan Jones, the familiar face to Smackdown, and then introduces who he called the #1 draft pick of Paul Heyman's Smackdown, Matt Morgan. Heyman called Morgan, 6'10", 328 pounds the new 'Next Big Thing.' He then calls out the WWE champion Brock Lesnar.
Heyman tells Brock he just wants to talk business. Brock doesn't trust him, and brings out Big Show to even the odds. The WWE champion notes the history he has with Show, and with Heyman, then flat out says he hates Heyman's guts. But, if Heyman wants to talk business, talk fast. Heyman then proclaims that Jones, Morgan, and Show are on his team at Survivor Series. He also makes the main event tonight a tag match between Lesnar and Show and the two men that have, according to Heyman, insulted the two champions at any possible angle on Heyman's phone all week, the APA of Bradshaw and Ron Simmons.
Cole says these 4 men for Lesnar's team comprise almost 1,400 pounds of beef for this tag match.
Dawn Marie steps in front of the video game that Orlando Jordan and Paul London are playing to ask their opinion on her costume. Naturally, their jaws drop. Dawn says, "I thought so," and walks off.
A Hardcore Holly promo is shown. He wants Lesnar, and will hurt him.
The next segment of Smackdown is the trick or treat contest between Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson, with Funaki as the special guest MC. Funaki looks like a horrible Undercover Brother. Both women are incredibly attractive, and Torrie wins the audience poll with best costume. Funaki says they need to bob for apples in the tub of chocolate, Dawn volunteers to go first, and gets in the tub of chocolate, entirely. She comes up with no top on, though, LITERALLY. Her entire silhouette is covered in chocolate. Funaki almost faints, Torrie is running away, and Tazz hits the ring. Tazz says to Torrie, since Dawn was the treat, let's show Funaki the trick. Torrie begins to seduce Funaki to set him up for the dip in the chocolate tub, but at the last minute, pushes Tazz in the tub of chocolate.
A promo is shown of the main event, Lesnar & Show vs. the APA.
A promo is shown for the CAT, Ernest Miller, coming to Smackdown, soon.
Cena is seen leaving the arena, Brock stops him, and drops the dime that he thinks Heyman is gonna name him as the fifth member of Lesnar's team.
A promo showing highlights leading up to Survivor Series is shown.
A replay is shown of Tazz getting the dunk in the chocolate tub by Torrie Wilson. Tazz then hugs Cole, and the commentators are all glazed by liquid chocolate, literally. Chavo and Eddie Guerrero are backstage, and Chavo is letting Eddie have it for what he has done the last couple of weeks, losing two titles. He believes Eddie is sinking like he was when he was on drugs and alcohol. Chavo demands a public apology from Eddie Guerrero about what has transpired recently.
Eddie comes out, alone, with no ride, to a huge pop. He apologizes to Chavo for his lack of performance recently, questions Chavo why he would bring up the past with Eddie's demons at this time. Eddie then says the definition of character is not how a man is judged when he in on top, but how he responds after each time he gets knocked off. He is gonna fight, and get back the Guerrero respect that belongs to his family name.
Shaniqua comes out with both title belts, and Eddie calls her a 'mamacita wanna be. Eddie tells Shaniqua to stay out unless she wants a piece of his latino heat. Doug Basham attacks from behind, but quickly loses momentum to Eddie, as he proceeds to beat up Basham and Shaniqua from one end of the ring to another. Danny Basham stops the carnage by throwing Eddie off the top rope when he was going for a frogsplash on Doug Basham. Doug and Danny beat down Eddie 2 on 1, and leave. Chavo comes out to check on Eddie.
Eddie's getting checked out in the back by the trainers when Paul Heyman comes in. Eddie wants a tag title shot after what the Bashams did to him. Heyman says he has to earn it. A handicap match, next week. Eddie Guerrero vs. The Basham Brothers. If Eddie wins, he gets a tag title shot.
Angle is being interviewed, expressing how impressed he is with Lesnar's team. He then says his team has taken shape. He just got off the phone with the newest member of the team, someone who is dying to get at anyone affilated with, or Brock Lesnar himself, Hardcore Holly. He then announces that the final two members of his team are the tag team involved in the main event tonight, Faarooq and Bradshaw, the APA.
APA vs. Brock & Show are next.
A promo is shown of the Buried Alive Match, and how Undertaker got the idea for it. He says that because Vince said that if he is breathing in and out, Taker will never get a fair chance at the WWE title. He wants to be five time WWE champ. He will wait his turn,a nd make Vince stop breathing at Survivor Series. Taker claims Vince dug his own grave.
Lesnar and Show come out for the main event.
The APA come out, and the match quickly gets underway. Back and forth action by the texan Bradshaw and the WWE champion, but Lesnar manages to get him in to their corner, and tags in the US champ, who proceeds to chop Bradshaw down like a texas tree. The beatdown continues until Bradshaw is able to slide down Big Show's back while trying for a slam, and tag in Faarooq. Faarooq began working over anyone that moved, and Bradshaw in the chaos being caused by his tag team partner, hit the clothesline from hell on the Big Show. Bradshaw takes Lesnar outside the ring, and Show hits Farooq in the spine with a chair, causing the DQ loss for the Show and the WWE champion.
Meanwhile, the beatdown continued on the APA, crushing Faarooq's leg under a chair when Show hit it from the second turnbuckle, and cold cocking Bradshaw. Angle and Benoit hit the ring, Angle olympic slams the Show, Benoit gets Lesnar in the crossface. Morgan and Jones hit the ring and sit out powerbomb both Angle and Benoit. Angle's team is left laying in the middle of the ring as Smackdown went off the air.
THE GOOD, THE BAD, & THE STUPID:
First of all, I am not going to include in the results of this card what happened in the 'trick or treat' contest between Torrie and Dawn. Can you say REDUNDANT? I mean, it was fun, and hell if I'm not intrigued by both women, but come on, this is overdone just a bit. When's the gravy boat match, next week for turkey day? Sheesh.
I'm curious to know WHICH TITLES will be defended at Survivor Series?? No WWE, No US title defenses.. No IC title defense. Possibly no Raw tag title defense either. New WWE tag team champs, the Bashams, and the WWE has so much confidence in them, they can't even put them in a legitimate match this week. They had to put them in a sneak attack segment with Eddie. BORING. Break up the Guerreros if you are going to do it, and do it quick, this Eddie is making me want to puke.
3 matches for a Smackdown. And, their so called exclusive cruiserweight match was a dud and a half. Can someone tell Ultimo dragon to get with the program? HE could be one of the best cruiserweights in this WWE, but he either doesn't put in the effort, or the WWE is misusing him, badly.
Who, like me, being the sadistic creep that I am, wanted to see Tazz choke Torrie out after Tazz got pushed in to the chocolate? Sorry, mean streak. Back to business.
The survivor series tag match looks impressive. I like it on all counts. Cena adding to it just makes it better. Morgan looks like a star in the making, but those two gentlemen, Morgan and Jones will probably be the weak link to allow the faces to win, but you know how things go.
Can we find out, officially, from the WWE who the two thugs with Tajiri are?? And, like I asked a couple of weeks ago, where did he learn how to speak such fluent english?
Did my eyes deceive me, or did the spoiler this week talk about a match with TWGTT as babyfaces? Where did it go?? I wanted to see that match. i wanted to their reaction, combined. I think it would've been priceless. i doubt they woulv'e known what to do.
How quickly things change. Heyman is already in the opening Smackdown montage, and Stephanie is gone. Sad. Really sad.
Based on last week, this show sucked. Why is everyone talking? Where did the action go?? And why has Rey gotten knocked off his perch? Who did he piss off??
The Cat to Smackdown. The world is coming to an end. :)
Bill DeMott: We will, I will, miss your antics in the ring. I look forward to listening to you on Velocity each week. Punch Josh Mathews in the mouth, please, for this old reporter. Think he's Jonah or something, and hit him with a can of spraypaint in the side of the temple.
What happened to Jamie Noble going after Tajiri with Nidia's eyesight going blind? We are subject to Tajiri being asked by MICHAEL PIEFACE COLE about this, and not by Nidia's boyfriend?
Feedback was a little slow this week. Let's try and speed this up a bit tonight. OK. Forum link is below. Here is my email.
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