»Reported by Jon Minners of WrestleView.com

On Tuesday, January 18, 2005 at 12:31 AM EST

Hey yo! Could it be three weeks in a row? Oh hell yeah!!! Looks like I am back and everyone else fell off the map. Where you all at? Don’t leave me hanging!!! Badseed’s Bottomline can’t do it all alone, but I will try with this week’s edition. Yes, here I try to write for one wrestler who shouldn’t have to be written for; Simon Dean.

Simon Dean was an awesome wrestler; that was when he was known as Nova and wrestled in ECW. At first, he was just a comedy wrestler, but as time went on, fans could be confident that they would get a stellar match each and every time Nova wrestled. The guy came up with moves that no one else would have ever thought of and he did it with ease that he made WWE stars look plain in comparison. I mean, if the Stone Cold Stunner is such a great and powerful move; how did Nova perform a stunner in combination with another move with relative ease and not even use it as his finisher. He would wow audiences each and every time with his moves, as well as his costumes. He came out as Flash before Rey Mysterio ever thought of doing it and he was the Green Lantern before Hurricane ever had the idea. Nova was an innovator, but he never achieved too much success in ECW even though we knew he was capable of so much more. Remember the fight readers made to have Nova included in the PWI 500 back in the day. This was a wrestler the fans wanted to see succeed and where else could he succeed, but in the WWE.

That is not necessarily the case. Nova was saddled with the Simon Dean gimmick, which at first seemed funny. It was hilarious hearing Dean make fun of fat people and plug a telephone number to sell his fat burning pills. It sort of reminded me of the doofy guy with the big head that I see on infomercials all the time, but just like Positively Page, the gimmick does not translate well into the ring, no matter how funny it seems in vignettes. There are only so many fat guys in the WWE for Simon Dean to feud with, especially since the WWE has decided they don’t really want fat or out of shape wrestlers in their promotion, so Dean is limited on opponents based on his gimmick. He hasn’t even been given a PPV match, but Hassan came right in and grabbed up some of the spotlight right away. Why was Dean forgotten? Well, because the fans have no reason to care about him. Now, I know two ways they would start caring.

First, we can stick with him on Raw. I saw something that I found to be sort of interesting last week. When Dean called out Rosey and Kane came out, I thought it would be perfect for Dean to want revenge on the Big Red Machine. When Snitsky came out and I started thinking about his limited mic ability, I started thinking that maybe Snitsky and Dean need to form some sort of strange alliance. I mean, Snitsky is now using Dean’s workout belt as a weapon. Dean could now talk about how out of shape people are and point to Snitsky as the ultimate monster. Damn, with Christ Masters coming in, it would seem obvious that Dean would align himself with the Masterpiece, too. We can start a stable, but Dean would not be in charge. He would be the mouthpiece for a little while, but the real person behind the group; Matt Hardy would come back from injury and unleash his army against Kane. It would give something for Kane to do at the moment, as everyone else takes center stage, giving Kane some of the spotlight, too. Add Trish Stratus to the mix and you have Kane and Lita against all odds. The feud would be very ECW-like, in that the stable would make sense in some ways, but feel like a motley group in others, yet it would be used to help elevate them, as well as other stars like Hurricane and Rosey, who could help Kane at times, or even Rhyno, who would stand to gain a lot in a feud with Snitsky, if it was kept competitive. Tajiri vs. Dean would also be a great match. This could be a fun feud with serious undertones.

However, I would rather see Simon Dean move over to Smackdown and bring back the Nova gimmick. I think Hurricane should move over, too. I see them as a tag-team and not enemies. They would be an excellent addition to the cruiserweight roster, because both of them can talk and add some humor to the division. Can you imagine matches between Nova and Rey Mysterio, if Nova is allowed to wrestle as we know he is capable? What about Nova vs. Nunzio. Move Nova up in the ranks and let us see Nova battle Kurt Angle, since I have seen Nova perform well on the mat. Nova would be better suited on Smackdown, of course, that would be truer if the WWE gave a damn about its cruiserweight division. There is no way that the WWE should be overlooking a cruiserweight division that has talkers like Chavo Guerrero, Spike Dudley, Nunzio, Hurricane and Nova. You could not ignore a division where storylines could finally mean something because the wrestlers actually have charisma. Beyond that, Nova would make an excellent tag-team wrestler and help out a division in such desperate need of aid. There is nothing wrong with being a tag-team wrestler. In fact, with a glut of wrestlers going nowhere, tag-teams need to be a focus again. Nova and Hurricane would be awesome.

Let me take a quick look at the world of wrestling right now:

Is it weird or does Hassan look like a Muslim Edge. Everything about him reminds me of Edge for some reason. I don’t know why. Anyways, I love his angle. I think he is great on the mic and I like how he twists things to help make him a heel. How he worked that whole Canadian aspect into why he hated that country, too, made me laugh and I think for a second I could see him just look at Jericho and say with his eyes, “You like how I twisted things to my favor.” It was genius. I loved it.

Jericho is truly the modern day Rowdy Roddy Piper. He doesn’t ever need a world title to be a successful wrestler. He makes everyone look good and he looks good in the process. I don’t think Jericho would lose fans even if he jobbed to Maven for the rest of his career. He is the man.

I can’t believe they wasted a great match between Jericho and Benoit for free television. I mean, yes, they have fought on PPV before, but not since the roster split and it would make perfect sense for the two to end up squaring off at Wrestlemania just to give fans a match worth seeing on the big show. In the same vein, I think Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero should also be held off until the big dance. Those two matches alone would sell the show for me and in neither case does anyone have to turn heel or face for the match to work.

RVD’s injury was the best thing to happen to him. While taking time off, the WWE has plenty of time to think up an angle for him, push him to another roster or turn him heel when he returns. How about signing his old manager and bring back the exciting team that made RVD in ECW the success it was? If the WWE does not push RVD to the moon upon his return, RVD should just leave once his contract is up and sign right away with TNA for a dream match with AJ Styles.

I am happy Abyss is not going over to the WWE. I don’t think the WWE would have done anything for him and I think TNA still has a lot for this guy to do in the ring. A feud with Jeff Hardy should be interesting for now. Hopefully, Abyss will be next in line for a world title match push. I just do not want to see Jeff Jarrett vs. Kevin Nash at Against All Odds. I almost want to puke thinking about the possibility. I can’t believe they gave titles to AJ Styles and AMW again. They need to give us a break from these guys, just for a bit or this time; they need to keep the titles around their waists for a little longer than a few months. Please, think more sensibly when planning title changes.

Why are Internet writers so against the idea of Chris Masters using the Narcissist gimmick? Sure, Lex Luger failed in the gimmick, but we all knew about him and the gimmick just didn’t fit him well when we already knew everything that he was about. The same for Mark Jindrak who really has no charisma at all. These wrestlers have already wrestled and were given the gimmick that just didn’t fit their characters. We have never seen Chris Masters before, so do not pass judgment just yet. You never know if he could pull it off or not. Give it time and then start your whining.

Batista is the man. I think the WWE is doing the best job in building up a character than they have done in so long. They messed up with Lesnar and pushed him too fast that it went to his head. Batista is a humble man who has a good head for the business and the slow push has helped him to become a monster star in the future. We could be looking at the next Hulk Hogan or Superstar Graham. I was going to say Ultimate Warrior, but I didn’t want to insult the guy. The fans at the next Wrestlemania are going to scream off the hook when he wins the world title. Imagine the WWE dropping the ball and allowing HHH to hold onto the belt or worse yet, have him regain the title a month later. Oh, that would suck.

It was smart to give the Basham Brothers the World Tag-Team titles. They are a real team and RVD was injured. It then gives the Dudley Boys a reason to come back as a face team and fight for the belts.

Did I finally see a woman get beat up by a man in wrestling again? It seems like it has been awhile. It brought a tear to my eye. Awwwww.

Well, that is all for today. I will be back next week. Who do you want to see me write for? Until next time, PEACE!!!!!