?Reported by TJ Siloski of WrestleView.com

On Sunday, April 3, 2005 at 4:57 AM EST

Can you feel it? It's in the air, it's in the water, it's in the food. It's Wrestlemania. The one day of the year when no matter who you are or how anti-wrestling you are, pro wrestling is cool. It's the showcase of the immortals, where heros become legends, and most importantly... the one night of the year Triple H just might job. Something about this show seems rather thin. Maybe it's the favoritism to the Raw brand, maybe it's the comedy comercials dulling the adrenaline levels, or maybe it's the fact we only have 3 titles on the line and one is the Women's Title which has as much worth as a Confederate dollar. Let's break down the big event this year and get to the predictions that I will no doubt screw up badly.

Tag Champ Challenge
Rey Mysterio vs Eddie Guerrero
This kind of tells you the sad state of the tag team division on Smackdown. It's just as bad on Raw, but here we have it down so that the tag champs don't even have anyone to wrestle but each other. That's as if Triple H bruied so many opponents that one Wrestlemania he had to wrestle himself. (My official prediction for Wrestlemania 23, by the way) That said, this should be an alright match, the two know each other well from tagging in WWE and wrestling in the Cruiserweight division in WCW. Still, ill prepaired concept I think. You can kind of tell it was a stand by plan.
My Pick: Eddie Guerrero

Sumo Match
Big Show vs Akebono
So let me get this straight. Paul London's not defending his title, no tag belts are being defended, there's only one Crusierweight on the whole show, but THIS gets a spot on the event? Last time I saw Akebono was on Iron Chef, if this was a lobster eating contest, Akebono would be the man.

Now, this may be unique, this may work. I've watched sumo wrestling many times and get as much of a kick, if not more of one, from it as I do from WWE. If this is a legit match which I doubt, Akebono's got this one in the bag. He is the only foreign Yokozuna ever, and a former one. To fill anyone in, former Yokozuna means he stepped down himself, that status cannot be revoked or demoted, so don't think it's like a title that he lost in a match or anything. The guy holds numerous records in sumo, including fastest promotion to Yokozuna, so he's got more skills than Big Show could ever hope of having. In a legit match, there's no way. And even fixed, there's too much for Big Show to get the win here.
My Pick: Akebono

Legend vs Legend Killer
Undertaker vs Randy Orton
Ah, a well constructed interpromotional match. Every time a cross promotional match is set I keep hearing "how are they supposed to hype that?" Well, obviously it's possible, they did it right twice for this event. I'm glad Randy turned heel for this, face vs face wouldn't have worked. That and Randy never acted like a face in the first place, the constant "mightier than thou" pose and "look at me" attitude was heel all over, he was face only because he was wrestling heels. That's not a good job, Randy. This is a tough one to call, Taker needs to pass the torch at some point at Wrestlemania but Randy's going out for shoulder surgery after the event. The latter seems to outweigh things for now though.
My Pick: The Undertaker

Women's Championship
Christy vs Trish
Piss break. I don't need to say any more but I will. She looked alright on Raw, but Christy is no wrestler. She's eye candy and that's it. But it's all we got since WWE buried most of it's female women's roster and fired the rest, so we're out of luck. But look, there's new breasts! We as wrestling fans must not care about wrestling so long as we have breasts to distract us. So look on, watch the giggling, then remember they make movies with nothing but jiggling and realize this is an absolute abomination.
My Pick: Trish Stratus

Surprise Match That Isn't A Surprise
Muhammad Hassan vs Hulk Hogan
Not announced but we know it'll happen. The card looks a little light for this reason, Hogan gets to beat the crap out of one more anti-American before he fossilizes. That was the concept of keeping Hassan unbeaten on Raw, "It takes Hulk Hogan to beat this guy! He must be good!" as well as one last Wrestlemania for the Hulkster. This will be a two minute squash because any longer and Hogan would turn to dust.
My Pick: Hulk Hogan

Money-In-The-Bank Ladder Match
Y2J/Benjamin/Benoit/Christian/Kane/Edge
When I heard this match concept I was kind of sick. 6 men and a ladder were the clues on the Raw before Jericho revealed this match but I was hoping for so much more... I was thinking WCW's Triple Cage where the ladder was the one in the bottom cage to get to the middle one. I was thinking Escape From Hell, a Hell in a Cell with cage match rules, using the ladder to get out a hole in top to get out. But no, just a ladder match. Now the match itself should be a pure train wreck, plain and simple. And you know at some point we will see three ladders in the ring at once, two men on each, and one massive crash of body parts as the end result.

The trick is, who wins with so many entries? It's Wrestlemania so Kane's not winning. Shelton's got the IC title so he's still a winner any way it ends up. Christian always gets shafted regardless of the event. Benoit's better than this, he can get a title shot any time. So Edge or Jericho. Y2J hasn't gotten a turn at Triple H yet and I would think he'd want some payback from taking his last title reign from him. Edge is the same as Benoit, his gimmick right now is going for the World Title, he'll get a title shot regardless of this match's outcome. I'm going to go out on a limb on this one.
My Pick: Chris Jericho

Piper's Pit with Stone Cold Steve Austin
How can you predict something that's not a match? When it's Piper and Austin, easily. We know how this will turn out, Piper's going to say he's been in movies and he doesn't think Austin has what it takes to be a star. Austin points out all of Piper's movies sucked. Generic trash talking, stunner, Stone Cold gets his beer at the turnbuckles.
My Pick: Austin via Vince's wrath at Piper showing up on TNA

Interpromotional Match

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels
This should very well be the match of the night, if not the year. Here we have two of the best wrestlers ever (Sorry Paul) in their first match. Should be a wrestling clinic for the ages. That being said, I find it hard picking the winner. Angle's having problems again which probably number the matches he's got left in him, HBK's due for a tag team run with Marty Jannetty, Angle seems to get shafted every Wrestlemania, HBK doesn't need to win this match... Woo boy. Shot in the dark on this one, let's move on.
My Pick: Kurt Angle

Next up are the two championship matches... Both titles are in dire straights right now, regardless of who wins the titles at the end of the night, they have a severe lack of challengers to get over with WWE's current "top carder of the month" concept. After last year, I also wish I couldn't see a scenario where both faces won the belts, but alas...

WWE Championship
John Cena vs JBL
JBL, in my opinion, has never once shown that he deserves the belt he wears. He is obviously supposed to be a transitional champion, but the only other top heel on Smackdown is Kurt Angle who's getting injury prone yet again. John Cena's got enough heat that he doesn't need to win this match, but if he does lose, JBL has nobody left. All other faces have been buried on Smackdown, this is the last chance, now or never. At least there's one match they have if Cena wins the belt.
My Pick: John Cena

World Heavyweight Championship
Batista vs Triple H
Now the difference here is that Batista does need a win here to keep his heat. After that, Raw has nobody left who could go against Triple H for the belt, YET again Triple H has managed to keep that belt almost year round while burying all possible challengers back into the mid card. Once again Triple H failed to look passed his own precious ego to see he is raping this business dry. Before I go blind from rage let's get this prediction hammered out. The same situation stands on Raw, Jericho could challenge Trips for the belt, especially if he wins the ladder match, but after that nobody and Batista as champ would have more options for opponents. Batista doesn't strike me as a world champ, though, so this makes for a tough call...
My Pick: Triple H

There are a lot of scenarios to play out here. On Smackdown, Cena has to win, JBL has buried everyone else there is. Raw is a different story, and it hinges on the ladder match. If Edge wins, Batista is going to leave the champ. If Jericho wins, then Triple H will be winning. Christian, my original pick before rethinking, would be the smartest move as it's unexpected and either man in the title match could win. Luckily it is rather unpredictable for now, I'm eager to see what goes down. Enjoy the show everyone!

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