?Reported by Dale Mills of WrestleView.com

On Saturday, April 9, 2005 at 5:57 PM EST

You know what I said last time about not having enough time to scratch my ass? Well just recently I haven't even had time to think about not having time to scratch my ass. Well that's the Easter Holidays for ya.

Poor poor Randy Orton. Just what has he done to deserve the treatment he has been receiving as of late? Now, I will be the first to admit that the air was positively blue when Orton got pinned by the Undertaker at WrestleMania. 'Taker gained absolutely nothing from his win and Orton had his newly re-found Legend Killer gimmick pissed on. To make matters worse, not only did the 'DeadMan' kick out of Bob Orton's killer Cast shot(which I thought having Bob come out wearing it a stroke of genius) but the 'Phenom also kicked out of the usually match ending RKO. Now I don't totally blame the Undertaker for this fiasco as I'm sure that the booking squad had a hand in it but surely even the Undertaker could see that losing to Orton was good for business so he should of taken it upon himself to be that supposed locker room leader and insisted he do the JOB. It's not like Undi loses every week is it! I can't believe that everyone put 'Takers 'Mania winning streak above what was good for the product. Just when I thought things couldn't get worse for Randy, Along came Raw. I will say that I was mildly amused by Orton's bad shoulder excuse for having the Tombstone attempt reversed and he almost got some heat back but then he was fed to the Animal. Literally. Batista mauled Orton in their main event bout. Now I'm all for making the new champ look strong but are you telling me that there was no one else that was 'Tista fodder? It was almost squash like. I felt real bad for Randy. I guess that now Orton will be taking time off for his shoulder but where does that leave him upon his return. I guess we will have to wait and see.

Just how many times can new Smackdown Champion say 'The Champ is here' in one night? I swear Cena said it at least thirty times this week. Do you get the feeling that that's a brand new tee catchphrase right there? Well, it has been such a long time since Cena had some new merchandise. Some people have been badmouthing Cena and his WrestleMania match up with JBL. But not me. I liked it for what it was. Yes, it was a trifle quick and yes Cena seemed to pull the win out of nowhere but still, I found it to be very enjoyable. It's always cool when a belt changes hands when a babyface beats a strong heel in a feel good finish. And Cena has upped his game(and his catchphrase amount)and seems to have gone back to using his previous better version of an FU. So that's all good. And let's not forget that he is mega mega over with the crowd. The only real problem I can see with John Cena's title reign, apart from the obvious modified world title that's on the way, is that because of the weak roster on SmackDown, Cena has already faced all the guys that are in the tournament. With the exception of Rey Rey, who was eliminated this week in a surprisingly good bout with JBL. Maybe they are saving a Rey Rey Cena bout for when Mysterio goes heel. But until then, I will settle for Cena and Angle.

Carlito Caribbean Carlito at WrestleMania. Simon Dean and Maven at Raw. Is the Rattlesnake back for good? I got to say that I enjoyed Austin's segment on Raw loads more than the Piper's Pit segment at Mania. I don't know what it was about the Pit segment, I did enjoy it but there was something about it that didn't click for me. Maybe it was the fact that Rowdy Roddy Piper appeared to be smashed out of his skull hand was having trouble just speaking. I'm not sure. Maybe it was to total predictability of it as soon as Carlito's music hit. Whatever it was, the segment on Raw in which Simon Dean did his most memorable thing to date, take the Stunner, was much better. You got to love any segment that includes the line ' purple Bastard'. How long till the random run ins become stale though? If 'Stone Cold' is to stick around then he must be given something other than run ins. Problem is that Austin has nearly done it all before. Who knows, maybe the Run ins wont get boring after all. Maybe the nostalgia gig will live on forever. Hell, it has for Hogan. Did you see the pop he got at Mania when he was whoopin' those dirty evil heels? I guess there could be worse things than seeing an Austin run in every other week or so. LIKE BIG SHOW IN A MIWASHI! SHUDDER.

Is Rhyno gone! gone! gone!? Some reports are saying yes. Some no. I think that it would kind of harsh for Rhyno to get the boot just for having a little spat with his spouse but then again, he hasn't done anything of importance since... um... err. Anyway, I think that Rhyno will just get a slapped wrist and maybe job duty against some jobbers for a couple of weeks then he will resume his role as worthy jobber to the stars.

So Carlito Caribbean Cool is getting his own interview segment on SmackDown. Well that should be interesting as I CAN'T UNDERSTAND A BLOODY WORD HE SAYS! CCC speaks way too fast. I really have to concentrate when he talks but all I hear still is this CarlitohfouhcphcpccjfchpauhpHWCfpHFNotcool. Handy things subtitles. Another fella who could use a few mic tips is Hassan. Someone needs to tell MOhammed that he needs to keep the mic to his mouth right to the end of his sentences. Considering that mic work is STILL the only redeeming part of his act you would think that he would get it right. Oh well. Maybe saying that MOhammed's mic work is his only redeeming feature is probably a tad harsh, he did whoop HBK and anyone who does that isn't half bad in my book.

Anywhoo. I really got to go, I feel an itch coming on.

MSN: big_dalebowski@hotmail.com
Email: big_d@wrestleview.com

http://www.freewebs.com/millsanomics/index.htm
http://www.freewebs.com/millsanomics2/index.htm

Check it out!

D.