?Reported by Mike Siciliano of WrestleView.com

On Monday, April 11, 2005 at 1:45 AM EST

Isn't it always the way that when you try to start something, you hit a roadblock when it approaches chapter 13? Here is my attempt at taking that roadblock, and throwing it up against the wall, and watching it shatter in to five million pieces.

I've read the scuttlebutt after Wrestlemania on the sheets, and I agree with most of it, and some of it I do not agree with. Let me address a few points right off the bat. Number one, a friend wrote me asking if I was writing in character about the Big Show/Akebono sumo match. NO! I wasn't. Look, I do not deny Akebono's accomplishments one bit. I do not deny Big Show's accomplishments one bit, either. I actually found the match surprisingly interesting, when I thought it was going to be an absolute zero to end all zeroes. I disagreed with the booking of the match because I thought it took spots away from deserving WWE talents, i.e., Booker T., Paul London, Orlando Jordan, Regal & Tajiri, etc. However, all things being considered, I think WWE got the desired effect out of the match it wanted. Exposure in Japan, and probably a media uproar in Japan that is liable to last for the forseeable future until Raw and Smackdown return to the Orient. The ONLY true aspect of the match that I found slightly, um, disturbing, was Big Show in the sumo garb. Yes, I know, it had to happen, it was a sumo match, but, come on, people, tell me that it wasn't slightly difficult on the retina of your collective eyes.

The Women's Division: Yawn. Major freaking yawn. Lita and Trish still jawjacking at each other, and now allegedly, Lita's knee is in worse shape after what transpired on Raw last week. And, out of all that, we all know Christy was not wrestling material from her lack of performance at Wrestlemania, but to get knocked out like that on Raw, jeez, could they put her in a worse position? I mean, we know Christy does not have the experience to hang with the likes of Lita and Trish, but, wasn't WWE trying to push her toward something? Now, with the previous two nights performances last week, that push got slaughtered. God only knows what they do with the women's division now.

On a slightly off kilter note, I saw a portion of the Surreal Life tonight on VH-1 with Sean Waltman and Chyna. I am so sorry for saying this, but if that wasn't the reincarnation of Frankenstein and Count Dracula, then someone needs to come over here and hit me square on the skull with the business end of a ballpeen hammer, thank you very much.

Ok, back to business. Ho hum, the Intercontinental title is defended in a triple threat match with Chris Jericho and Christian, AGAIN, challenging for the title. No, I am not discounting either of these two talents abilities, and, when it comes right down to it, the match was a good one, with Shelton barely escaping with his belt still around his waist, but come on, where is the new talent and why can't we get someone else to challenge for that title? I know, don't tell me that there's nobody else on the docket who is ready to take that next step, but isn't that what the brand extension is supposed to do, allow some new faces to take chances in the business that having one brand would not allow? I mean, yes, this is far fetched, but couldn't we have Maven explore some more possibilities with Shelton? He had a brief run at the IC title, looked pathetic doing it, and now is tagging with the little purple bastard, Simon Dean. Talk about a nice career move, Mr. Huffmann, maybe you oughta think about going back to teaching, eh?

Is it me, or has the Tag Team titles on both shows gone to pot? Regal & Tajiri, a TREMENDOUS tag team combination for their abilties, and their promotional capabilities, have been reduced to defending their titles on SUNDAY NIGHT HEAT, for the love of God, and now, Eddie & Rey have thrown their hats in to the WWE title picture, yes, I know Rey lost against JBL, but, last I checked, they were still tag team champions, what is going on with these belts? Are they ever going to be defended again on the flagship shows? Are we going to see SOME assemblance of a tag team division again at all within the WWE? I hate to say this, but the draft lottery better damn come in quick and figure out something to do about this problem, and fast. Maybe Michaels gets his wish, goes to Smackdown, Jannetty ends up there, and the Shane Twins come in on Raw, or something like that, ANYTHING to spice up a tag division that is lackluster at best.

What I mean on HBK's wish, is to go to Smackdown, probably, so he can get a shot at a rematch with Kurt Angle. Yes, the match at Mania was good, very good, and yes, indeed, I would like to see HBK/Angle II, but maybe, just maybe, a little shorter on the time frame, okay guys?

So, it's official. The Legend Killer is 'dead.' His bum shoulder finally has put him on the shelf, and he has gone for surgery in Birmingham with Dr. Andrews. It's funny how the sheets haven't reported this, but it was reported on Spike TV's WWE Experience show eariler Sunday morning. Hopefully, it will be confirmed shortly after I publish this by the powers that be, but it was pretty much written in the cards that Orton would be on the shelf following Wrestlemania to fix his shoulder. Where he goes from here is anybody's guess, but I would have to think, I would have to hope that it is to Smackdown to eventually feud with Cena, Undertaker, and maybe even Kurt Angle. I have to say this, I am tired of Orton vs. Batista and Orton vs. Triple H, and Orton vs. Flair all the time. Orton to Smackdown is, I hope according to the WWE, as close to a no brainer as possible.

How good is Chris Benoit? I know I sound like such a mark when I say this, but 24 hours after getting his arm turned into ground chuck by Kane and Edge in the ladder match, he comes back on Raw, and beats Edge one on one with his arm hanging by a tendon, and 25 stitches in his face. It is so sad that Benoit will probably never sniff the World Heavyweight title again, because he deserves it. By far and away, he was the classiest, and most decorated champion I have seen in WWE, and especially on Raw, since the title was introduced back in 2002. Sorry, Trips, that's the way I think.

What is going to be Stone Cold's role in WWE now? Is he going to do these occasional run ins and drive people insane by beating up talent and then drinking himself silly? Yes, it is a good thing now, because it hasn't been seen in so long, but don't you think the morale in the locker room is going to go to the dogs if this continues long term? I mean, let's face it, nobody is going to be able to truly take it to Austin because of his health, and because of that, pretty much every talent on the roster that is put in a situation staring nose to nose with the Rattlesnake is going to find themselves on the receiving end of a mudhole stompin', therefore, taking their own character, and shoving it in the collective trash heap. Come on, how long do you think its going to take Simon Dean and Maven to rebound from a character perspective from the ass whooping that Austin laid on both of them last week? Yes, it was fun, yes, it was hysterical to see and hear, but really, do we need to put down the future of the business to hold on to the past? Give Austin a role of authority somewhere within WWE, let him be commissioner, or something so he can appear on both shows, make matches, cause havoc, and as he said, unleash hell. If you're not going to do something like that, then let him drift off in to the sunset, because, this run in thing is going to get old, really fast.

Why did the sheets actually come out and say that the WWE had some issues with the reaction to John Cena winning the WWE championship? Yes, I think, still, that the end of the match at Wrestlemania seemed "off", but the placing of the belt on the doctor of thugonomics is probably one of the smartest moves WWE has made for Smackdown in some time. Yes, nobody else worthy of a WWE title shot was left to challenge JBL. Yes, John Cena still has a lot to learn as a competitor, and as a promoter. But, three years in to it, John Cena has developed in to a fan favorite the likes of only one other person I can think of, and that is Stone Cold Steve Austin. Each time I have had the pleasure of meeting John, the response each time has been MONUMENTAL. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. The fan response to this man has been, and continues to be off the chart. WWE would be wise to let Cena run for a while with the title, and see how he develops at the top of the mountain. JBL, as much as I can't stand to say this, developed in to a top flight singles heel as WWE champion. Who says Cena can't do the same as a face? The one thing that is going to drive me nuts, though, being a collector of replica title belts, is the upcoming modifications Cena is going to do to the WWE title. I stood in my pal's store in Massapequa for one hour debating whether or not I should pick up the spinner US title, and after a debate from hell, I decided not to. He's going to send me in to convulsions, I am sure, when I see whatever he does with the WWE title.

The rumours I read through the sheets for the next two pay per view main events are kind of not surprising. On Raw, for Backlash, it is expected that it will be Batista-Triple H II. I'd be lying to say I am surprised by this, but I'd also be lying to say I am not scared to death of this contest. Remember Unforgiven last year after Orton beat Benoit in a classic at Summerslam? I hope they allow Batista a chance to run with the title for a period of time before giving it back to Levesque. I'd like to see him almost blow an aneurysm as the hunter, instead of always being the hunted. On Smackdown, and this intrigues me, the rumour is JBL - Cena II, as an I quit match. I don't consider either of these two individuals to be submission experts, so that really makes you wonder, outside of the obvious promotional ability of both men, being so cocky and arrogant that they both will quip, "I'll never say the words," or something to that nature, leading up to that match, but still, without noticeable submission holds on either side of the coin, I'd almost have to call this match a tossup. Yes, I think Cena will win, because again, I have to believe in my heart of hearts that WWE is not going to make the same mistake they did with Randy Orton. I think they gave Orton the title initially to get the stink of Brock Lesnar out of the WWE, but, they took it away from him very prematurely because of the Taboo Tuesday gimmick that they were preparing down the road. I do not think, hope, or pray, that they'll make the same mistake twice, as it would only deter and diminish both of the current champions abilities and resumes as competitors.

The ECW themed pay per view is now definitely going to happen in New York City on June 12th. I have to say, I am so interested to see how WWE handles this, and what transpires from it. Some of the talent being brought in for one night stands, literally, would probably put WWE on its collective ear, and it very well might, but who stays on with WWE following the show is anybody's guess. I am glad to see that Vinnie Mac has the grapefruits to go ahead with this idea, and I intend, if all goes well, on definitely viewing this event. It oughta make the so called barbed wire steel cage match back at No Way Out look like an evening walk in Central Park.

I also have to say I am very interested in how Shane Douglas's show goes down come June 10th at the ECW Arena. Douglas vs. Terry Funk vs. Sabu in a triple threat match has the capability to literally rock the foundation of that building more than anything else that has done so in the past. How Funk is still competing on the level he is is absolutely astounding, and I am thrilled to see Sabu back and on the same level, after hearing about his own medical issues. I wish I could see that show, and anyone in the Philly area that is lucky enough, send Wrestleview a report, send me the report, the more the merrier, man, come on!

My personal quest of meeting WWE superstars continues this upcoming Sunday, April 17th, when World champion Batista comes to Massapequa alongside divalicious Candice Michelle. I am really looking forward to meeting both of these stars, as I have a title belt with Batista's autograph waiting to be placed on it, that being the World title. I know I've said this before, but a world title replica with Batista, Benoit, Orton, Triple H, and Flair's signatures on it, how much do you think I could get for that sucker on Ebay? Huh? Don't even think I'm going to part with it, but the question is still fun to ponder. I'll be up with a review of that signing session all over the place after it goes down. (Cheap plug - Click here to check out the locale of where this thing is going down.)

Ok. Time to wrap it up. I want to thank everyone for writing me with feedback from these columns. I do apologize if I don't get the chance to write you back, but I do continue to promise I read every one. I welcome email at PALACE@WRESTLEVIEW.COM all the time. You got a question, gripe, comment, or idea for the column, let me know. If I can use it, you got it, with obvious credit.

So how did chapter 13 go, guys? Did I pass the test?

KIMOSABE, SUMO!?!?!?!?!?