?Reported by Mike Siciliano of WrestleView.com

On Friday, April 22, 2005 at 10:59 AM EST

I forget who said it, but someone called me a while back a "column machine", and I like that monicker a lot. I got some things I need to get off my chest, so let's go to work, right now. Besides, a lot of stuff I saw this week, and experienced as well, ticked me off something fierce, and since this is my outlet, well, VENT AWAY!

First and foremost, I watched Smackdown from last night just now, and obviously, I watched Raw. I have some comments about the new blood, and some other thoughts to ponder. One. I like MNM. Yes, they're brash. Yes, they're arrogant. Yes, they're "raw", pardon the pun, rookies with gold, which is never quite a good idea, but, the idea of an established team with a gimmick that hasn't been repeated to the point of nausea has been so badly needed that putting the gold on them will ignite a spark in the tag team division. Obviously not from the former champions, but, once the draft lottery goes down, anything is possible. What about a possible RVD return to join forces with Mysterio when he decides to go for his rematch clause, if he doesn't get the singles push that is expected. RVD & Rey were just as impressive a tag team as Eddie & Rey are or were. I could also see the Bashams getting out from under the cloud of JBL and re-establishing themselves as title contenders.

Of course, on a quick aside, we all have to hope RVD doesn't suffer from the same problem that a lot of other injured WWE stars have suffered from, release-itis.

Oh, one last thing on MNM. Guys, choose a hair color, please.

Next, Matt Morgan. A 6"6" 328 pound monster with a speech impediment? Who's brilliance was this, Stevie Wonder? Matt Morgan should be allowed to do one thing when he is prepared to do so, and that is come in and brutalize anyone in his way. Why make this guy sound like Goldust did after he got electrocuted. They tried the tourrette's thing with Dustin Runnels, and how good did it last back then? What makes anyone think that gimmick is going to survive now?

I think they finally found a niche for Carlito. When Carlito came to Smackdown, and won the US title, I was stunned, annoyed, angry, and disgusted. Carlito, at that time, did not deserve to be a champion, much like MNM don't deserve to wear belts now, BUT, in the case of MNM, there isn't really anybody else that could wear the tag titles. Back then, there could've been a series of other people that could've worn US gold, Booker, Eddie, Show, just to name a few. But, I digress.

Carlito's cabana has been funny. It's also been the main port of call for a major storyline of the show, which is why it's been center-stage, literally. Carlito has the gift around a microphone of pushing people's buttons, and I think he oughta keep pushing until someone shuts his mouth. NOW, as much as I think the cabana is funny, spitting the apple in people's faces, I still think, is so damn not cool.

Next week's fatal four way should be a doozie. Somehow or other, JBL is going to squeeze by and get the shot for Judgment Day, but he is going to step on a lot of toes to do it. I give JBl a lot of credit for his title reign, it was one of the most impressive in some time, but this use of the classic belt by JBL is a bit redundant, don't you think? I know, it's a prop in the storyline between JBL and Cena, but it bothers me to see that belt, and the bling bling side show belt that Cena's wearing. Why? Because I got the classic belt, and I don't got Cena's new one, and I want Cena's new one, plain and freakin' simple!

Now, let's go to Raw. We have tag champions? Wow, what a shocker. Regal & Tajiri are such a good team together, and they have been banished, literally to Heat, and it's repulsive. They finally make it back to Raw to face an OVW team, the Heart-Throbs. Ok. Now.

Deep breath.

I know we've said, I know I've said I need more fresh new talent.

But, do we need Billy & Chuck part deux?

Do we, really?

Personally, I don't think so.

Now, can someone tell me this: who was the genius that booked a match between the intercontinental champion and the little purple bastard, and forced Chris Jericho to sing to Benjamin like he's Prince Charles serenading Camilla Parker Bowles before their wedding! Come on, people, 2 weeks ago on the highlight reel, you got Jericho and Benjamin beating the high holy crap out of each other, now, this week, Jericho sounds like a raving werewolf, and Benjamin's beating up the little purple pushpop, Simon Dean. (By the way, I know Dean is an ECW alum, but can we get a new gimmick for this guy, QUICK?) Someone needs to explain to me this booking, because, I do not understand it.

Speaking of not understanding something, I am still trying to figure out the logic between Triple H vs. Jim Ross. I am so aggrivated that Jim Ross and Michael Cole are even LISTED on the superstars page, but the fact that this man has competed in more than one match, this being Ross, is so absolutely degrading to the other talents on the roster, I am really not surprised that there hasn't been an uprising in to Vinnie Mac's office to try and find out what he's been putting in his morning coffee.

Speaking of Vinnie Mac, I have to admit, the sumbitch looked damn good this past week on Raw. Not bad for four plus months after double quad surgery. My wife did make an observation I want to share with all of you, did he look a hell of a lot grayer, hair wise, or is it just us? He did look a hell of a lot older this week. The draft lottery is coming. I am pleased about this. I did some handicapping about potential draft moves before....but hell, it's always good to second guess, so let's try it again.

SHAWN MICHAELS to SMACKDOWN - Obvious, no? He takes out Hassan and Daivari at Backlash with Hogan, and then goes back to his original plan of finding a way, any means necessary to get his hands on the Olympic Gold Medalist. How? He manages to get drafted to Smackdown. With this draft pick, comes a little added bonus, mainly called MARTY JANNETTY. Jannetty signed before Wrestlemania, and we can all expect to see the Rockers reunite. I believe the best place for that to happen, for instant success, is Smackdown.

CHARLIE HAAS to RAW - Why? Haas has gone in to limbo and neverland on Smackdown, meanwhile his former tag team partner has had enormous success in the red and white brand. Vinnie Mac sends Haas to go over there to teach Shelton Benjamin a lesson. Can you say wrestling clinics?

Since Vinnie Mac did say NOBODY was excluded, to make this point I mentioned with Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin go down, and have it be a little more dramatic, perhaps we may see Shelton get drafted by Smackdown. I doubt it, but it's possible. I think WWE would prefer to move people that haven't been moved before, hence the reason why I mentioned Haas. I know I contradicted myself by saying HBK before, but there is a compelling factor that outweighs the theory I just mentioned, and its called Kurt Angle.

RANDY ORTON to SMACKDOWN - You can't honestly think that Randy Orton is going to take that loss to the Undertaker on the Wrestlemania stage and not demand retribution. Personally, I think the entire WWE fan base is sick to death of seeing Orton vs. Batista. But, Orton vs. Taker, and later on Orton vs. Cena would be something I think everyone would want to see. Obviously, this is a long term solution, with Orton currently on the injured list.

THE BASHAM BROTHERS to RAW - I don't think that they have the guts to get out of the shadow of Orlando Jordan and JBL, but I think Vinnie Mac will send them off to break up the cabinet, and to fortify a pitiful tag team division on the red and white. Also, with the Bashams gone, and JBL soon to be out of the title picture, a run as a tag team with Orlando is not out of the question.

One more set of picks. These are longshots, well, hell, outside of Orton and Michaels, they're all long shots, I guess.

EUGENE to SMACKDOWN - What else can Eugene do on Raw? His injury has hurt his status on Raw considerably with Regal teaming and winning gold with Tajiri. There really is not much more that Dinsmore can do with Eric Bischoff. Quite honestly, a gimmick in limbo needs a shift change. Send Eugene to Smackdown, and let him befriend someone there, I don't know. Cena? Long shot, definitely.

And here's the shocker....
JBL to RAW - Remember the vignette JBL and Triple H did at Wrestlemania? Tell me that during the lottery, they're not going to revisit that possibility. IF, and unfortunately, this is a big IF, Batista is successful at Backlash, Triple H is going to need someone new to focus his energy on, and who better, than someone almost as pompous as he is.

I still have a lot to say, so let's keep going.

Action figures.

I am a huge WWE figure collector. I have a 12 to 16 gallon trunk full of them. They are all over my room. I visit sites online to find out the newest stuff that is coming out, and when. I am that big an action figure collector, actually, player. I never really had a life when I was a kid. :) Anyway, what the hell is Jakks Pacific thinking? I have seen what's coming out in May and June. Where is the new blood? How many more Undertaker, Triple H, Shelton Benjamin, and Ric Flair's do we need? Do we need to revisit Ric Flair's figure from UNCHAINED FURY? Jeez, louise, ladies and germs, that was almost six years ago!

I am still livid about the disgusting quality of the WWE Wrestlemania 21 game for the XBox. And if I am Vince, I am doing some serious investigation as to who let these things out in this poor quality. I am going to endeavour to speak with THQ, Jakks, and Studio Gigante, and see what these people can tell me. In the meantime, keep sending me your reviews of the game. The more ammunition I got, the better the argument. Click here to drop me an email.

Ok, the column machine is running out of gas. Let me end this now. Plug time!

Blog this! MikeSiciliano.blogspot.com

I'm also involved in some other projects, but for safety's sake, I won't plug them here. Email me, if you want to know more about my other projects. Click here to drop a line.

I'm out.

KIMOSABE, Sumo!?!?