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Pro's from the Palace (#38) - WWE SD PPV: Great American Bash Picks |
» Reported by Mike Siciliano of WrestleView.com
» On Friday, July 22, 2005 at 4:48 AM EST
Let me open this parlay by saying two very simple words.
Verizon sucks.
Ok, did I mention Verizon sucks? Good, I did. Let's go to work. Prediction time, for WWE's Great American Bash. Let's do this.
Memory serves, I did pretty damn well with the Vengeance pay per view selections, so let's see if I can keep the streak up. Oh, one other thing before we get started, (did I spell Vengeance right this time?)
Torrie Wilson vs. Melina in a Bra & Panties Match
Jerry Lawler's dream match, with Candice Michelle as the special guest referee. What can you say? Old school vs. New School. How do you handicap a match like this? This way. Melina has two backups, the tag team champs. Dollars to doughnuts, they get involved, and help Melina get the dupe. Candice is in over her head on this one, and unless she plans on getting physical in a hurry, she's (Candice) is gonna get stomped.
WINNER: Melina
Hollywood Nova, the Blue Meanie, & Big Stevie Cool (The Blue World Order) vs. Super Crazy, Psciosis, & Juventud (The Mexicools)
I like this. ECW alums going at it in a WWE ring. I wish they'd make this a hardcore match. It'd be one for the books. Comedy vs. luchadores. But, the bottom line on this one, to borrow the line from Stone Cold, is the Mexicools are going to cheat their lawn mowers off to get the dupe, and more than likely take off in their Juan Deeres with the victory. I am glad to see Meanie on a WWE PPV again, ANYBODY who can get celebrity status looking like Meanie deserves my respect.
WINNERS: The Mexicools
Christian vs. Booker T.
Booker finally has been allowed to take Sharmell to the back, and with that, he was closely involved in the Smackdown title hunt prior to Batista's arrival. Now, he is the first in the line of fire for Captain Charisma's quest to the title.
Whoa, hold on a second, there, you creepy little bastard.
Christian has a world of talent, don't get me wrong. So does the Bookerman. The one aspect here that is DEFINITELY in Booker's favor is Christian's dependence, in the past while he was on Raw, on Goat Boy Tomko. With Tomko no longer in the picture, and a sudden lack of friends in the Captain's corner, I think the 5 time WCW champion is going to find a way to sneak this one out. Why? Because if the result I am going to pick later happens to fall through, I think the Bookerman is the next for a shot at some secondary gold.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio
Truth be told, this match bores me to tears now, because this thing has gone down a road that makes me so sick, I don't even want to type about it. I continue to stand by the fact that family being brought in to WWE storylines is a sure fire way to end up losing your job. The only reason these two men won't is because of their collective resumes.
Everything in my heart is asking for Rey to win so this thing can end, and Eddie can move on to bother Batista as the next in line for the World title hunt. Everything is telling me that I don't want to hear this so called secret, no matter how contrived it may be. I didn't witness, live, the feud in ECW between Raven and the Sandman that involved the Sandman's son, but I've seen tapes, and that makes me ill. Bringing a child in to this type of situation is bordering on criminal. These two men are tremendous athletes, and world class entertainers, and that alone should be enough.
WINNER: Rey Mysterio I hope.
#1 contendership match for the World Heavyweight Championship
The Undertaker vs. Muhammad Hassan
This one is predictable now after the backlash regarding the terrorist angle used by WWE and Hassan against Undertaker. Somehow, this character will END at this contest. How? Simple. Randy Orton. Orton and Taker are certain to butt heads at Summerslam, and this ending of the feud between Taker and Hassan couldn't probably come at a better time. Nobody's talking about Orton, he's vanished since his draft day impact, and his return here would provide a nice impoteus for Undertaker to take his focus off the so called Arab, and on to bigger and better things. I'm not sure how they're going to handle the contendership angle, but Taker will get the dupe here.
WINNER: The Undertaker
WWE United States Championship
Orlando Jordan (c) vs. Chris Benoit
With Batista ruling the roost, a chance for Benoit to take back the world title seems unlikely. However, he has in the past held the US title, and this title again is in desperate need of a respected champion. Jordan has done ZERO, absolutely zero to make this title shine with prestige like it should, he's barely defended it, and when he has, it's been against midcarders at best. Benoit can wrestle Jordan under and over the canvas, and this should be almost a squash, I would think for the 19 year veteran. Benoit adds more gold to his hall of fame resume as he takes the US title away from this undeserving title holder.
WINNER: New US Champion Chris Benoit
WWE Tag Team Championship
MNM (Mercury & Nitro) (c's) vs. Road Warrior Animal & Heidenreich
For the past two weeks, I have been dying to see Animal compete. I have missed Smackdown the past two weeks because I've been too lazy to bring a tape down for my family to record it, since at the time it broadcasts, I am unconscious. (I am unconscious most of the time, however, but I digress.)
I cannot think that this return on the part of the legendary Animal, who is in desperate need of Weight Watchers, no matter how impressive he may be inside the squared circle, is going to be that lengthy. Be that as it may, I don't think Heidenreich's new friend and the massive former OVW standout will figure out a way to beat the tag champs. MNM have developed in to tremendous title holders, causing havoc and wreaking chaos on a weekly basis. Their gimmick isn't offensive, their tactics are bordering on down right nasty, and their ability continues to improve. I suspect a successful title defense. A war, don't get me wrong, but MNM skulk out of Buffalo with the straps still.
BTW, I saw Animal's return two weeks ago on WWE.com, so I did see how he looks.... can we get the old spikes back? Those spikes looked like they were bought at National Wholesale Liquidators, the ones he wore two weeks ago.
WINNERS: MNM
World Heavyweight Championship
Batista (c) vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
I call it as I see it. The world title to Smackdown was as obvious as hell during the lottery when John Cena ended up on Raw that first night. It was the right move all around, because it opens up a world of new challengers for this title, and here is challenge #1. JBL was a tremendous WWE champion. He fought them all, and won them all. He beat one of the best champs I have seen in some time, Eddie Guerrero, last year at this pay per view, which I am certain that fact will be slammed down anyone's throat who buys this show, and then lost it to the future of this company, John Cena, this past Wrestlemania 21.
Well, the other half of the future of this company is staring him in the face this time. The Animal, Dave Batista. I don't care how old Batista is, his talent is unparalleled, his mike skills are improving, and Goddamn, he is intimidating in person. I can only imagine how it must feel to take a spine buster or Batista Bomb from this speicmen. JBL has evolved in to one of the top heels on Smackdown, but his time has currently passed. He will pass the torch to another star to take the gauntlet as top heel and give the champion fits, and I think that torch bearer will end up being Eddie Guerrero.
In the interim, this match will be brutal in its intensity, it will be bloody, more chances than not, and it will probably contain some serious bumps by both competitors. A possible Randy Orton involvement would also not surprise me, he has some issues with the champ, and if he's going to return to make Taker's life miserable, he may want to make it two for two, if you know what I'm getting at.
Anyway, JBL's time as champion has passed. It is the time of the future. It is the time of the new blood of WWE. It is the time, of the Animal.
WINNER: Batista
Time is short, and I'm not really, so I gotta fly. Debate me on the picks, as long as my phone line stays active, by clicking here.
Kimosabe, SUMO?!??!
Did I mention that Verizon sucks?
If you really need to know why I needed to put those small little inside jokes, (stillborn to be exact), ask me. I'll tell you.
Back To WrestleView.com
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