»Reported by Adam Martin of WrestleView.com

On Sunday, July 24, 2005 at 4:48 PM EST

Allan Dahlen sent in the following:

Beat The Press

Ex-WWE champ JBL loves to run his GOP mouth. Care to step in the ring?

Maxim, August 2005

Maxim: Why does JBL hate liberals?
JBL: 'Cause JBL loves free markets. Liberals don't. JBL believes you're not supposed to be raised by the government. They didn't adopt you. JBL believes that if you're worth your salt, you make money. If you don't, you don't deserve to make money.

M: You think poor people are lazy?
JBL: You can give the poor people the rich people's money, and in five years the rich people will have it back. There are reasons people are poor. The poor have the right to go to school, to get a job, to succeed in society. It's not the government's job to create a safety net.

M: In that case, what's your stance on the junk food ban in public schools?
JBL: The U.S. has the fattest kids in the world; they don't need junk food. We should ban it! JBL doesn't think we should give kids the option. We've got a whole generation of kids who are just soft.

M: Why don't you like hip-hop music?
JBL: You never saw George Jones shoot Merle Haggard. You never saw Bocelli shoot Pavarotti. JBL thinks it sucks.

M: What do you think about Kerry?
JBL: He can windsurf. And if he wrestled, he'd probably get about eight Purple Hearts per match. Bush lost two of the debates, the perception of Iraq wasn't going well, the perception of the economy was bad...Kerry should have had a runaway. JBL speaks his mind, and JBL is very pro what George Bush did. JBL makes no excuses for it.

M: Who's the lamest politician of all time?
JBL: Al Gore. No doubt about it. He had eight years of record economic growth behind him, and he couldn't get elected. Pathetic. Al Gore couldn't win a one-man rock fight. He's the dumbest S.O.B. to ever run for president.

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Allan Dahlen also sent in the following as well:

Incredible Hulk

Andre the Giant was nothing—on Hogan Knows Best, the T-shirt-shredding wrestling icon confronts his most daunting challenge yet: raising a family.

Maxim, August 2005

How is Hulk Hogan the wrestler different from Hulk Hogan the dad?

The good person part is a part of both people. But the wrestler is definitely somebody that is invincible and feels no pain. Terry Bollea the man is so much different. I can sit and watch The Lion King and start crying.

Is raising kids harder than wrestling?

If it was me alone, I'd say yeah. But my wife, Linda, she's pretty calm about everything. She's more aware than me. I've been kicked in the head too much.

Can your kids play you pretty well?

Yeah, they'll ask me something that's totally screwed up, then tell my wife, 'Well, Dad said we could do it.' It gets me in a lot of trouble. I'm more liberal than my wife. But there are certain lines you don't cross.

Oh? Like what?

My son trying to sneak girls in the house when he was only 14 years old. I encouraged him to chase the girls, but when he hooked 'em I had to say, 'Wait a minute, you can't be alone in the room with 'em.'

Did the cameras ever catch you yelling at your kids like they're the Iron Sheik?

I don't just go, 'Hey, brother, lemme tell ya!—I go way above that. When I get pushed over the edge, I go so far above the Hulkster just to put the fear of God in everyone, from my wife to my son to my daughter.

What warrants the fear of God?

When my son was 13, I got a brand-new Viper pickup truck, and I found out he drove it around the beach for two hours. I definitely turned up the volume on that one.

How do you spank your kids without breaking them in half?

I don't. I hit my daughter one time on the ass when she was two, and I still hear about it. She was trying to help me pack my wrestling bag; she kept takin' my gear in and out. So I swatted her on the ass. She won't let me forget about it.

Were you a troublemaker as a kid?

I was just a fat kid. I started lifting weights because I went through high school without one date. I was just eating Baby Ruths and drinkin' Cokes. The only really bad thing I did was wreck my first car. I was showing off, and I wrapped it around a pole. My dad freaked.

What advantages are there to being Hulk Jr.?

My son, Nick, is friendly with some of the wrestlers. One time, though, he shot Big Show with a slingshot, so Big Show duct-taped him to a chair for three hours.

What about your daughter, Brooke—what if she wanted to date a wrestler?

That'd be my worst nightmare.

What about a Maxim editor?

If you were older than her, you'd get the yellow boot in your face as soon as you opened the door. If you survived that, we'd probably tear up the asphalt outside, along with the rest of your body. I haven't crossed that bridge yet, where I've actually let her get into a car and drive off into the sunset on a date.

You made sure you knew exactly where she was on her first date. The 24-inch pythons weren't enough to scare away the teenage boys?

When VH1 wanted to do Brooke's first date, I said we can do a 'supervised field trip' during the day. If anything happened, I knew I had a GPS in that car, and I would know where it was instantly. Ol' Hulk Hogan and his gun permit would find her before anybody else did.

Do you ever get other wrestlers to baby-sit for you?

Oh, God. I tried to take my wife out for a special occasion, and [Nasty Boy] Brian Knobbs was sitting there in my house drinkin' beer and watching TV while the kids were driving across the golf course mooning people and blowing air horns at the golfers. He was the worst.

What other antics can we expect on Hogan Knows Best?

I didn't want our show to be based around eating a meal or staring at a pile of dog poop or family members going into rehab—if people are entertained by that, they'd better fasten their seat belts for our show.

So what do you do when Hulkamania runs wild on you, anyway?

Just try to hang on. And smile as wide as you possibly can.