Reported by Adam Martin of WrestleView.com
On Wednesday, August 24, 2005 at 12:24 PM EST

Jimmy Van of JimmyVan.com sent in the following:

The third and final portion of my nearly two-hour interview with former WWE star The Genius, aka "Leaping" Lanny Poffo, is now online in Windows Media and Real Audio formats at JimmyVan.com!. You can also listen to a five-minute preview clip of the interview in Real Audio format at this link:

http://www.jimmyvan.com/audio/lanny/part3/lanny-081705-clip3.ram

Here is a text transcript from this 37-minute portion of the interview…

I want to ask you about Elizabeth Hulette. She was your sister-in-law at one time so I'm sure you knew her as well as anybody did. Terry Funk wrote in his autobiography that he and his wife Vicki used to go out for dinner with Randy and Elizabeth, and Elizabeth wouldn't even touch a glass of wine at the time, but she ended up passing away from an overdose of pills and alcohol. Were you surprised when you heard about how she died?

"Well let me just side-step your question. You see, you're a lot nicer than a lot of the interviews that I've had. I had some people that have the bad taste to ask me, 'Is Randy angry about the fact that Elizabeth died while under the custody of Lex Luger?' And I found the question abusive and flagrantly leading. And I said, first of all, the last time I checked, I am not "The Macho Man." I am Lanny Poffo. And I believe that "The Macho Man" can answer his own questions. And you know, I wouldn't even have the temerity to believe that I could answer for him. But I'm gonna make an exception in this case because the question is so negative. No Randy doesn't blame Lex Luger for the fact that Elizabeth Hulette died while in his custody. Do you know how old she was?"

JV said he thought she was 42.

"I think it was 41 or 42. Do you know what 3x7 is?"

JV said 21.

"Yeah, well when you're 21-years-old, even when you're 18, you are responsible for whatever you put in your own body, and I'm responsible for whatever I put into my own body. And if you wanna look for somebody to blame, look at yourself. Now I know Elizabeth Hulette, I loved her, I cried when she died. But let's put the responsibility where it lies. Anybody can spell "D-R-U-G-S", how many people can spell "R-E-S-P-O-N-S-I-B-I-L-I-T-Y"? You better take responsibility for all of your actions. Otherwise don't blame anybody but the face in the mirror. And the consequences are dire. And I fear that it's the same thing happening to new people. That's why I'm on my mission. Because I've done some research and it turns out that the fork in the road is, to smoke, or not to smoke." Lanny then talked about the negatives of smoking, which inspired his book "Limericks from the Heart (and Lungs)".

Where did the idea come for this book? Do you know someone who passed away from smoking or is this just a cause you've always believed in?

"Well, I had the opportunity in 1968 to attend the Mr. Hawaii contest," said Lanny. "I was more impressed with what I saw first. Paul Brad was speaking... Paul Brad was a health nut. I was never a bodybuilder. I didn't take steroids. I am a health nut. I have taken the health to the umpth degree. And I read and re-read and the only thing that makes me angry is that the experts disagree, and then it's a matter of, who do you trust?" Lanny said he was always more interested in health than lifting weights. "I was always against smoking... now I drink a little red wine with my meals because that's good for you." Lanny talked about his family, saying he feels terrible that he wasn't able to keep the nucleus together, but his daughter managed to become smoke-free and he's proud of her, and it's something he's always emphasized. Lanny said he used to make speeches at her elementary school and he particpated in the Smoke Free Class of 2000, and he wrote a few limericks, which led to the book. Lanny then recited a couple of poems from the "Limericks from the Heart (and Lungs)" book, which is available at Amazon.com.

How's Randy doing these days?

"He's doing fantastic. He has been dating the same girl for the last four years, the girl that he broke up with in 1975."

Does he have any projects on the go?

"I don't know. I always try not to answer his questions, but if he's got something going, it's under his hat. Why don't you check MachoMan.com and see if anything's cooking."

You were in WWE during the big 80's and you see how things are now with WWE purchasing the WCW brand and buying up the video libraries from their competitors from the 80's. Is this something that you could foresee back when the territorial system was so strong?

"The territorial system is not American. It's not even Canadian," said Lanny. He then told an analogy about having two big pizza joints; if you put one chain next to another, the one with the best pizza and best prices will win, and if there's a price war the consumer always wins. "This is what made America great, competition, and the entrepreneurial spirit." Lanny said they used to blackball different wrestlers all over the world if they did something offensive in one territory. "What Vince McMahon did... I think he even offered Verne Gagne a couple of million dollars for his AWA, Verne turned him down, so he just took his most loyal people... he just offered them more money and found out exactly how loyal everybody was. Where money lies, loyalty dies. And he got a better TV, got a better product, went into their town, and defeated them one by one because he was just better. Verne Gagne was great, but Verne Gagne had a shooting mentality. Vince McMahon had an entertainment mentality. Entertainment always wins. People say... don't you wish it would get back to more wrestling? ... Ole Anderson used to say, 'Hey it says "Wrestling" on the marquee.' No it doesn't Ole, you stupid... It doesn't say "Wrestling" on the marquee, it says "Tickets", stupid. Tickets. People buy tickets, you stupid, ignorant, fat freak. With no dick. And you can't beat up anybody, if you were here I would tell you, because you're a pussy," Lanny said about Anderson.

JV laughed and said people would be shocked to hear Lanny Poffo talking like this.

"I'm just telling you, that Ole Anderson thinks it says "Wrestling" on the marquee. It doesn't, it says "Tickets". Let me ask you a question, if Elton John draws a sellout, and Luciano Pavarotti draws a sellout, and Boy George draws a sellout, who's better?"

JV says they'd be on equal footing.

"That's it, they'd be on equal footing. It doesn't matter... I don't like rap music but I have to admit they have an audience... in this consumer-based economy that we're living in called the wrestling business, or the ticket business, doesn't it stand to reason that whoever sells the most tickets is the best?"

JV says there's no question.

"Okay so in 1976-77 when I was in Charlotte, North Carolina, don't you concur with me that Ric Flair was the best?"

JV says absolutely.

"If you didn't agree with me, I was gonna hang up on you," Lanny joked. "He put asses in chairs... but see Ole's living in a dream world. First of all he's not a wrestler. Because if he were a wrestler, he would have answered my challenge when I defeated his brother, who could beat him." Lanny then said that Gene Anderson passed away and used to smoke, and he commented again on smoking.

You did an infomercial for Tony Little's Gazelle freestyler. How did that come about?

"I actually was a customer of the Gazelle, and I lost weight. And then I wrote a poem in an e-mail." Lanny then recited the poem. "They responded to that and they said, 'Well I don't know about the poem, but how would you like to be interviewed?' ... and then I made two appearances there, and the good news is both infomercials are gonna be very soon on the website (LannyPoffo.com). And the match with Hogan, and my appearance on Regis Philbin. And hopefully this radio interview too because I like your questions, you could have been more derogatory but I like the fact that you didn't lower yourself... I also like the fact that I interrupted you five times and you didn't interrupt me at all."

I read that you did a performance of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" and one of the roles you performed was Cindy Lou Who. Can you give us a sample of that?

Lanny said he speaks to all of Pinellas County (Florida) schools, as he's a certified speaker, and every Christmas he does the Grinch and he incorporates an anti-smoking message. Lanny then recited some of the Grinch story, including a sampling of his performance as Cindy Lou Who.

Is this all from memory, all of this stuff you're reciting?

"I am amazing," Lanny joked. "I can do things that nobody can do, but I can't do things that everybody else can do." Lanny said he probably has a poem for every topic and asked JV to come up with a topic, so JV said considering he's Canadian, how about hockey. Lanny then recited the Canadian national anthem. "That's right before the hockey game, gotcha," Lanny said. Lanny then jokingly ribbed JV about Canada.

Six or seven months ago I got a press release saying you would be coming back, and then you worked WrestleReunion on January 29. Is independent wrestling something you're working actively again?

"Actually I'm doing it because it helps promote my book," said Lanny. "I work Monday through Friday... I don't need to go wrestle definitely, but it does help promote my book and it gets me out there to an audience that cannot be denied. Plus I found that I love it. Now I did something wrong, you see all my caps and gowns, I'd given away to charity. All my trunks, I've given away to charity. I have no boots. I had decided that I'd already wrestled my last match. I have to admit, I'd like to apologize to anybody who saw me in January, that I did wrestle but I was not properly supported."

You mentioned that you worked the Ballpark Brawl show recently, did you have the whole Genius gear going on?

"I just got some Genius trunks and I went out there. But I just don't have anything anymore. But I started my career with bare feet because I was a babyface trying to imitate Argentina Rocca for a time, so I figure whatever bookings I get, I'll do barefooted. I'm not gonna go buy some boots and lace them up because I have no ambition as far as taking my career any further. It's just that, if the price is right I'll be there tonight as long as it's a weekend and doesn't interfere with my work."

Word Association

Angelo Poffo

"Not the father of his country but definitely my father, the father of "The Macho Man", and just like I said in my poem, the world's greatest dad."

"Macho Man" Randy Savage

"Never did anything for me but help me. The only thing that counts is what the bank teller counts, well he made sure my bank teller had plenty to count."

Elizabeth Hulette

"I loved her, I cried, and please learn from her."

Vince McMahon

"The greatest thing that ever happened to me. I got to go all over the world, never cost me a dime." Lanny said his favorite place to visit was Wellington, New Zealand, and he was there with The Bushwhackers, and Butch Miller is back there now. "He re-broke his leg, and he's about two inches shorter but he's walking better than ever... I love both those guys."

Hulk Hogan

"He was the nucleus and he let me be his electron for about four months. For that I am forever grateful, and if he ever needs a kidney, I'm here."

Andre the Giant

"I was glad to be in his presence, and he was a fantastic gentle giant, and I hope he rests in peace. I'm sorry that people stared at him when he was eating and he was trying to be a normal guy. But it's no fun to be a giant every day. It has its drawbacks."

The Ultimate Warrior

"The Ultimate Warrior, he was all charisma. He had his run, and his run is up. I hope he did well with it."

Curt Hennig

"He was the best thing that ever happened to me for about a four month period. And I learned a lot from him. I took a lot of his advice, I wish he had taken mine."

The Beverly Brothers

"It was a viable alternative for me. It got me back in the limelight for another year. And I'm sorry that things didn't work out, but then on a long-term scale nothing ever works out unless you own the thing."

"Leaping" Lanny Poffo

"Well you've gotta start somewhere and I love alliteration."

The Genius

"The Genius was a lot more fun than "Leaping" Lanny. Also, I could really... with "Leaping" Lanny I had to really work for it. As The Genius I could just loaf around and let the gimmick do it."

You've got an official website, LannyPoffo.com. Do you do a lot of the work yourself?

Lanny said a guy named Matthew Campbell is his webmaster, and he lives in New Glasgow, Nova Scotia. Lanny has never actually met him, but he does good work. They're going to have a lot of clips from his past, and clips from his future.

JV said he used to listen to Lanny's poems when he'd be in the ring in WWE, and asked Lanny to hit us up with one of his poems from back then. Lanny recited a classic babyface WWE poem, as well as a classic Genius poem.

JV said it's been a pleasure talking to Lanny.

"Well you must be easily pleased," Lanny joked.

JV said he's interviewed a lot of people over the years and they're not always too personable or don't wanna give up too much information, but Lanny has been willing to talk about everything.

Lanny plugged Amazon.com and said you can find his books - "Wrestling with Rhyme" and "Limericks from the Heart (and Lungs)" there. He also recommended books by the likes of Deepak Chopra, Dr. Wayne Dyre and Rhonda LaRue. "This is the cornerstone of my self-improvement and I'd like to share it with the group," Lanny said. Lanny said there are two limericks that aren't in his second book because the content was too graphic, and he went on to recite those limericks. He said the book was nominated for a Newbury Award, which recognizes excellence in children's literature. He then closed the interview with this poem:

Always strive to be your best

With everything you do,

Don't worry if there's someone else

Who's luckier than you.

You don't have to finish first,

Just finish fair and square.

With a little perseverance,

The tortoise beats the hare.

Your only competition

Is laziness and fear.

Trade them for a double dose

Of courage, strength and cheer.

Don't you ever feel ashamed

If someone laughs at you.

You're in some fancy company -

They laughed at Lincoln too.

My thanks to all the boys and girls

For making me your guest.

I'm not a real genius,

But I strive to be my best

The third and final portion of my nearly two-hour interview with former WWE star The Genius, aka "Leaping" Lanny Poffo, is now online in Windows Media and Real Audio formats at JimmyVan.com!. You can also listen to a five-minute preview clip of the interview in Real Audio format at this link:

http://www.jimmyvan.com/audio/lanny/part3/lanny-081705-clip3.ram

Visit www.LannyPoffo.com for more on The Genius!