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In This Very Ring.... (Column #119) Why Soccer Hurts, SummerSlam, Y2J |
» Reported by Dale Mills of WrestleView.com
» On Thursday, August 25, 2005 at 11:31 PM EST
Here we go again....
You know what? Women think they know pain. Yeah, they go on and on about how about the most painful thing in the world is pregnancy and that us men couldn't even think to know what pain is without experiencing that. And let's not forget the old chestnut of how if it was men who got pregnant we would have found a way out of it. Well I think all that is just crap. Girls don't know the pain I felt this Wednesday night when during a football (soccer to my U.S fans out there) match the ball hit me square in the nuts. Yep, that's right. The lowest of low blows. Right in the tackle. The velocity of the shot was that much that it knocked me clean off my feet. So there I was doubled up in pain and flat on my face with the rest of the lads just laughing at me. Nice. Now that girls is pain. Real pain. So until you get hit in the nads don't you girls come telling me stories of pain. Ain't that right fellas? You know what? I know what Vince means when he says that they are the size of grapefruits.
Oh yeah, wrestling. Let me start at SummerSlam. What a doozy of a card this was. It was a super card make no mistakes. Unlike the Great American Bash, SummerSlam was chock full of main events and not a duff bout in sight. From the opening bout the whole show was run at full pelt. As with all PPV's there was a little bad but hey, lets start with the good. Benoit was just awesome in his destroying of Orlando. And it was possibly the most enjoyed outcome of the night. Eddie and Rey bumped their asses off in an exciting ladder match. The Orton's did in the Undertaker in a better bout than it had the right to be. Matt bled like stuck pig on route to the only feasible outcome in his match with Edge. Hogan bled like a, well, like a man with a HUGE cut on his forehead while HBK gave a masterclass in bumping and putting someone over. Batista delivered a sick sick powerbomb on to the steel steps that rang throughout the arena. Angle showed what a nasty bastard he could be by breezing past a Eugene that seems to have past his sell by date. And Jericho showed that when he is 'on' he simply an amazing talent. Now, on to the not so good stuff. The interference of Mrs Guererro and Dominick during the ladder bout. Was there really any need? Kind of tarnished the end. 'Taker's total no sell of the RKO. Wasn't the RKO like the most devastating move not just a few months ago? HBK shaking Hogan's hand after the bout. Um... Why? made no sence at all. And really that's all I could find that was remotely bad. Not much really. WWE really outdid themselves. Great work all round. Until raw....
WHAT THE HELL IS THE DEAL WITH JERICHO!? Yes, I realise that Jezza is off on his little tour with his band Fozzy over the next few months and he needs an explanation as to why he wont be on Raw anymore but after carrying Cena to probably his third best straight wrestling match ever(the first being his debut against Kurt Angle and his second against Jericho at SummerSlam)and getting a great reaction from the fans for the second night running was there any need at all for Y2J to go out whining and crying like a little bitch. Show a little dignity on your way out Jericho. Why didn't Y2J just take the stipulation like a man and just walk out. I can't understand the logic behind making Chris look bad after he did all he could to make mediocre John look a million bucks. My biggest problem with the whole thing though is that if Jericho really was fired from Raw, by the time Jezza got back to his locker room wouldn't his cell phone be jammed with calls from Teddy Long asking if Jericho wanted to join SmackDown? Lets hope that Y2J's holiday is only for a little while. I will miss seeing him on monday nights. My Raw fix wont be the same without him. Please don't go to TNA. I better move on quickly.
Woah. What has happened to Matt Hardy. From renegade rebel to company whipping boy in a few short weeks. Yeah, I really enjoyed Hardy's SummerSlam match with Edge(Stiff shots everywhere)and I believe that the stoppage ending was good(apart from Hogan lost more blood than Matt but well...)and it was a great way to prolong the feud with neither man losing any real heat on the night. But losing the following night on Raw to Rob Conway was a real shocker. As much as I'm feeling Rob Conway at the moment there is no need for Matt to be doing any sort of JOB the night after a high profile JOB on a PPV. Hardy has been losing heat each week since his official return and fan interest is waning rapidly. I think WWE really drop the ball with Hardy big time. Played out correct Hardy could have been a major player. Now it looks like Matt is going to be mid card for life(Unlike Edge who the WWE still seem to be intent on pushing him to the moon. Heaven knows why). With that in mind maybe a name change is on the cards for V1. No, not to the Angelic Diablo but from Matt Hardy to Midd Cardy. 'Midd Cardy will not rise' I can see the tee now.
What pissed Kurt Angle off? Kurt has turned in to an absolute wrestling killing machine. This unseen side to Angle has given the Olympic Hero a second wind and made him seem instantly fresh. Angle's mean attitude is in danger of turning him face though. You know how us fans love a bad ass(Well, not Bad Ass Billy Gunn as he couldn't get over in a singles capacity whatever they tried). And as for the heat garnering 'Podium' routine, I guess we are supposed to see that as an arrogant move. Um, the fans seem to be cheering that too. Angle has always been the heel that we all love to hate and I don't ever think that will change a hundred percent but the fact that Kurt gives his all whether it be a backstage segment, a PPV main event, an Angle Invitational or playing the role of a Heel or Face has made him somewhat of a modern day Ric Flair. Avoiding any serious injury(does it get much more serious than a broken neck?)Kurt Angle will go down as being one of the very best of all time. And knowing Kurt, that is exactly what he wants. Kurt will be the next WWE Champion. No doubt. And after he wins it maybe the WWE will dispose of the Bling Bling world title in favour of a more classic title befitting a classic style champ. Maybe an updated version of the classic winged Eagle Bret Hart era title is in order. Anything has to be better than that ugly spinning 'W'.
Snitsky loves toes and it looks like Maria loves a good story. Either Maria is the best actress in the world or she really hasn't heard of the This Little Piggy game/story. Either way it was a real enjoyable piece of TV that made me laugh out loud. Something else Diva related that I found quite cool was Torrie and Candice's heel turn on Raw Diva search winner Ashley. Torrie has been stuck in bland babyface hell for ages(ON SMACKDOWN THOUGH! DAMN NONSENSICAL TRADES!) and although she can't really wrestle she does enough to get by and I imagine Candice can do too. But hell, failing that I am sure that there will be many lingerie assignments on the cards so it's not all doom and gloom. And maybe, just maybe this might be the time that Trish Stratus makes her return. To save Ashley or to help Torrie and Candice, it doesn't really matter as Trish can go either way(I refuse to make a King like comment there as that is too cheap even for me) and I am sure by now that she no longer the Women's champ because of the THIRTY DAY RULE! Jeeze. What's the betting that when Trish comes back it will be like she's never been away. Oh well.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRandom Thoughts....
Why do I have a soft spot for cowboy gimmicks?....
Carlito and Flair on the same segment. My subtitles were workin overtime....
Chris Master's may suck but that hair comment was gold....
Not the racist gimmick again?....
I am so looking forward to the Bret Hart DVD....
And dispite what Glenn says he is too....
Doesn't the Undertaker look old all of a sudden?....
No Brock Lesnar yet. Saving him for the new Friday Night SmackDown?....
I wonder if HHH still has that silly 'Tash?....
Got to love crazy Flair. Dropping random Elbow Drops. Awesome....
Don't forget that you can contact me the following ways.
Email: big_d@wrestleview.com
MSN: big_dalebowski@hotmail.com
http://www.freewebs.com/millsanomics/index.htm
http://www.freewebs.com/millsanomics/index.htm
This has been D....
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