Reported by Ben Hagen of WrestleView.com
On Wednesday, April 26, 2006 at 2:20 AM EST

While I wind down the semester here at Northern Michigan University, weaving together a brilliant paper on James Joyce’s Ulysses and putting off grading my students’ papers, I can’t help but feel excited for my life as a wrestling fan. To me summer means a lot of things. It means I get to read whatever I want. It means I get to write whatever I want. It means I get to go wherever I want. It means I don’t have to teach Freshman Composition Monday through Thursday. Most importantly, however, it means that I get to watch a hell of a lot more wrestling. Let’s face it, I’m behind. As for WWE, I’ve been missing out on a lot of things. I’ve missed a large majority of TV matches that have been talked about (mostly on Smackdown, mostly involving guys like Finlay or Angle). I’ve missed a lot of entertaining stuff on RAW. I’ve missed out on most WWE PPV’s. Just recently I purchased this year’s No Way Out PPV and loved the hell out of how solid it was. Booker T / Benoit put on a good match. Orton / Mysterio was good. Angle / Taker was really good (though not quite great). As for Ring of Honor, I’m so many shows behind it’s ridiculous. I keep reading reviews and drooling, but haven’t purchased any new shows because I knew I wouldn’t be able to watch them. This CZW vs. ROH feud sounds absolutely brilliant. And I need to see it.

But I haven’t been entirely sheltered. I’ve been able to see a few things here and there. Over the past couple months, I’ve caught snippets of RAW and snippets of Smackdown. I, through my owns means and connections, have been able to get my grubby hands on a limited amount of television and PPV stuff as well. While my columns have certainly been sparse lately (I don’t think I’ve had one online for almost two months), I’ve been throwing ideas around in my head and thought I’d share a bit of what I think with you. Some thoughts then on about eight items . . . some much needed thoughts for those of you dying to hear something from me the last two months:

Item #1: Finlay

I don’t care what anyone says. Finlay is the best wrestler in World Wrestling Entertainment right now. He’s better than Mysterio. He’s better than Angle. He’s better than Benoit (who has sadly been dragging ass through some of his matches for quite a while now). He’s certainly better than Shawn Michaels or anyone else on RAW for that matter. About a month ago, I sat on The Red Bus at the Kansas City airport waiting to be transferred to the United Airlines terminal when I looked out the window and saw him just . . . standing there in a suit. I pointed him out to those I was with (English majors and the faculty advisor “chaperoning" us), initiating a collective groan. “You like wrestling? I think I know too much," one young lady said. But I didn’t care. Seeing him made my trip. He’s fit. He’s Finlay. He rules and here’s why.

First, his offense. Sure, he might not do ridiculous cartwheel counters into an Anklelock or do Rolling Thunders or springboards or Stink Faces. He might not do 619’s or German suplexes. But what he does do kicks serious ass. Do you guys even know how much I yelled and laughed and giggled and clapped when he pulled that damn ring skirt out on Rey Mysterio and started just stomping and kicking the hell out of him while our new World Champion was trapped behind it. Stuff like that is just brilliant and I hope the man gets rewarded in the near future for his excellence. Is this the same guy who made WCW Saturday Night worth watching? Hell yes it is.

Second, his movement. No one in the world of wrestling right now at this moment that I am familiar with sells his opponent’s offense as well as Finlay does. Watch him whenever his opponents strike him. Don’t you see it? Don’t you see the brilliance in how natural and yet heelishly goofy it all is? His body language and his sense of how to react to those he’s pretending to fight (or is he?), the wild flailing of his arms, the foot work, the quick drop to his knees, everything. Everything works for the good of those in the ring with Fit Finlay. If you take his beating, he’ll make your offense look like . . . for the lack of a better cliché . . . a million dollars. Or Canadian dollars. Or Euros. Or whatever the bloody hell you people use to buy wrestling tapes.

Third, the man is Irish. James Joyce was Irish. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

Item #2: The Almighty

Now I haven’t been up on all the various sorts of antics McMahon has been pulling on this various topic. However, I think it is a brilliant move. Booking a glorified handicap match against Shawn Michaels as a tag match teaming HBK with God is just great stuff. A couple years ago when I was more uptight about McMahon’s antics, I would have probably hated this. But THIS is something I like. It doesn’t involve picking on the mentally handicapped. It doesn’t involve scantily clad women or references to murder, rape, or other forms of social / sexual deviance. It is just straight up insane McMahon with his only son Shane (who’s been offering up some good facial expressions) being . . . insane. His promo booking the match clicked right away with me, and I think this will work . . . but only if God ends up getting the hot tag and taking it to Team McMahon. Vince going down clutching his chest or arm would be beautiful. I don’t care what anyone says.

Item #3: Bobbie Lashley

He impressed me more in the Smackdown tag last week than he ever has. I don’t like him. He’s no Brock Lesnar in terms of natural talent. He’s sloppy. He’s green. He looks lost. With all that said, since he looked better this past week . . . maybe he can learn? I hope so. That’s all for him. Next.

Item #4: Samoa Joe Winning X-Title Again

Okay, wait a minute. Samoa Joe . . . wins the X-Division championship for a second time on national television in a near-squash against one of three men who are the real . . . for the lack of a better cliché . . . meat and potatoes of the entire division? I am definitely cool with that. This makes me think back to his PPV title win over A.J. Styles (which I still think is a great match despite some whiners who complain about . . . something or other). That too, if memory serves me correctly was a near squash with Joe going over cleanly. So if my math is correct, Samoa Joe – still undefeated in TNA (though he lost the belt in an Ultimate X match) – has won the X-Title from the two top faces of that Division (both over and underrated depending on which fans you talk to) cleanly in matches where he was utterly dominant. What does TNA have up their sleeve for Samoa Joe? I haven’t a clue. But if it involves kicking ass for the next six months or so before testing him out on the heavyweight division, I’m all for it.

As for his match with Christopher Daniels, I was very impressed. Daniels’ teased comebacks were properly stamped out by the new champion, and he never really had much of a chance from the get go. Though Joe’s heel-face in TNA can be a little cartoony (those who want to see him legitimately pissed, switch over to ROH for a few shows), I can’t help but love when he unloads on The Fallen Angel and then looks to the camera or to the crowd. Joe is on television! Hell yes he is. This might have been the best TNA match ever (though that isn’t saying a whole lot). I liked it better than any of his matches from last year in TNA (including the much praised Sabin match . . . which is really good . . . but not excellent). By the way, I loved the Super Island Driver. Samoa Joe has mastered the art of dominating matches. Live with it.

Item #5: Six Sides of Steel

Okay, I know they did this before. But do they still think it is a good idea to have a PPV where EVERY match is in a steel cage? What are we, savages? For the love of God.

Item #6: King of the Ring Tournament

Back to Finlay for a second. I know he isn’t going to win the damn thing (chances are a Lashley / Booker T final), but look who he’s facing in the first round: Chris Benoit. Anyone not excited for that match needs to never watch wrestling again. As much as I want to see Kurt Angle wrestle Chris Benoit one more time before either one of them retire, I think I’d rather see Chris Benoit and Fit Finlay wrestle each other all day every day for the rest of my life. Throw in William Regal once in a while and you got yourself an afterlife filled with more bliss than riding Yetis with built-in 6-disc CD Changers through fields of snow. As for the tournament itself, I’m a little sad that it is just being used to take up time until Judgment Day. But, let’s face it, if they aren’t going to do a draft (which I don’t think they should), Smackdown needs something to do in the mean time. If Booker T gets the KOTR win and a shot at Rey Mysterio, would that be all that bad of a thing? Maybe. We’ll see.

Item #7: Bryan Danielson

I look forward to his WWE debut at Backlash when he teams with Shawn Michaels.

I think watching him step on A.J. Style’s face at ROH Dissension may be the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.

Item #8: Rey Mysterio as World Heavyweight Champion

Though I haven’t been privy to the crowd reactions he’s been getting, I’m glad to see the title around his waist. The argument “But he’s a cruiserweight!" matters not. There has always been the established precedent that cruiserweights can move up . . . but heavyweights cannot move down. Of course, cruiserweights that have moved up (e.g. Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, Dean Malenko, etc.) were all much larger than Rey Rey. Needless to say, he’s a great performer who legitimately won the match at Wrestlemania. If he can string together some respectable looking victories rather than looking “lucky" all the time, I think we can have some pretty nice dramatic performances. Tack on the fact that he is a top five in-the-world right now and I think we can all sit back, relax, and applaud him for his excellence in the ring. The man deserves his spot. Whether or not he’ll keep it will depend on crowd reactions and how legitimate he can actually be made to look in the ring. If he continues coming off as “lucky," someone is going to take him down quickly. And I hope that man is Chris Benoit or Finlay.

Item #9: JBL – Republican, American Hero

I know I said eight items, but I can’t help it really. How far has this guy come? One month into his new gimmick JBL wrestled Eddie Guerrero and put on one of the greatest matches this decade (regardless of what some internet reviewers tend to think). Looking at him now, he is back in the spotlight, with the U.S. Title around his waste and cracking jokes about Rey Mysterio’s height and participating in commercials where he runs immigrants back across the border. Come on. This stuff is absolute gold. As I’ve become an old, old man I’ve come to realize that taking workrate so seriously all the time is a waste of time. One has to enjoy the occasional big Texan running Mexicans back across the border. Am I right?

Anyhoo, I think that’ll do it for my long overdue edition of Hagen’s Artful Analysis. Until . . . well hopefully soon, watch some good wrestling (or at the very least some entertaining wrestling).