Reported by Mike Siciliano of WrestleView.com
On Friday, August 18, 2006 at 10:49 PM EST

This story began back in June of this year, where I sat in a closed store location at the Sunrise Mall in Massapequa, watching a group of individuals lose their minds when they were told that John Cena was stuck on a runway in Charlotte, North Carolina, and would not be making his scheduled appearance for an autograph signing that day. Tonight was the re-do. Scheduled to appear in Massapequa was the afforementioned 2 time former WWE champion, and Smackdown diva Ashley Massaro. There's a whole big story around Ashley appearing and other issues before this day, which I'll get to in a minute.

Anyway, we arrived in the Sunrise Mall, and to my family's legitimate shock, the store, New York Sports Works, was gone. We, ok, maybe not we, maybe I, freaked. It was just the other day I received word of the upcoming signings there, and now all of a sudden, gone. But, luckily, we got the word from a surveyor there to take opinions on other things that the store had moved due to construction, and we were off. No store, no stairwell, no elevator. All removed since our last encounter in Massapequa. Ouch.

Anyway, we got to the store, and found out where the signing was going to take place. At the total other end of the mall near Macy's, in an old hairdressing salon. Double Ouch. Look, guys, before we continue here, you have to understand the politics that must go in to effect to take care of one of these things. It has to be maddening to a degree unbeknownst to the average civilian, and, specifically, to the master of the Red Bull and Flying Polaroid, NYSW's store owner, it's just got to be a soap opera that nobody needs to be involved with.

Well, moving on, we got our locale, and began the odyssey of waiting 3 1/2 to 4 hours before the signing was to begin. Good thing, too, because the place was teaming with onlookers when the champ, and yes, I'm calling him the champ, arrived. John did his usual arrival about 30 to 40 minutes AHEAD of schedule, and Ashley was nowhere to be found, although one of the staffers of NYSW looked like a dead ringer for Ashley from what I could gather, but alas, she was, when we approached the table, AWOL, as it were. More on that a little bit later.

Since I teased something else before, a quick note on the Ashley appearance. Ashley was originally scheduled to appear with John on that night in June, but she pulled out due to circumstances with the recently concluded Diva Search. Maria Kanellis took her place in June, and Ashley agreed to appear tonight in lieu of the previously cancelled appearance. I would've liked to have seen the 2005 Diva Search winner, but we did not stick around to do so. You try and control 3 kids under the age of 13 in a zoo like it was there today, and see what happens. So, I can't give you a review of her appearance, because, and I should've done this a lot sooner, she didn't make it when we reached the table!

Anyway, back to the lecture at hand. After two faux attempts at heading in to the table area, don't ask, we go inside, and low and behold, someone else comes in in front of us. Grumble. Moving on, John is bombarbed with about another 50 to 75 photos, and it looks like a rapid machine gun firing how fast this guy is signing his John Hancock to these photos. Damn, has he been to enough of these things? Anyway, the delay is done, and we're off, me and the monsters go in the back and set up for our polaroid with the future champ.

John turns around and says hello to us, "yet again", and Jonathan, my youngest does the "word life" sign about as well as you can expect a seven year old to do, and that is exactly the pose that both John's, the champ and mine, strike for the shot. No flying polaroids, but a damn good picture. He signs it, signs my foam US spinner title, and after a quick thanks and a good luck sunday, we're off. He made sure to shake my hand, and say thanks again for coming out. Someone with that many people on line waiting for him to make any sort of extra effort is well recognized by yours truly, thank you very much.

Ok. Enough with the hilarity. Or in this piece's case, attempted hilarity. Now on to the serious.

Many of you have heard me rave and rant about Cena, being such a mark for him, and the like. Well, ladies and gentlemen, the ranting continues. And why, you ask? Simple. No, he is probably not as skilled in the ring as Bret Hart, and no, he probably couldn't talk his way out of a paper bag like Austin could, or CM Punk probably will in the future. But he has a wit to him on the mike that, if allowed, can get the job done in every way possible, in my humble opinion, he has improved his in - ring performance, in my humblest of opinions, and damnit, with the entire weight of the WWE on his back, and it's there, you'd be lying or dumb if you didn't think so, John Cena has a professionalism and a caring attitude toward the people that mean the most to the product. The fans.

The sheer magnitude of these events that he appears at on a regular basis, to maintain that level of kindness toward the fans is just unbelievable. There is no way, and I mean this sincerely, no way, that a man in a marquis position of any sport, and you can name them down right here, right now, I will stake this till I drop, there is no way that any marquis performer in any sport would show a 10th of the kindness and professionalism that John Cena shows and showed in every single opportunity I have had to meet up with the champ. Name me an episode, a MEMORABLE episode that you have had with a celebrity that you will remember for a long period of time to come, a MAJOR celebrity, and I will say I am wrong, but I believe that you're not going to find very many. The general entertainer out there cares more about themselves than the people that pay and consume their form of entertainment on a day in day out basis, and that, ladies and gentlemen, is bogus, wrong, stupid, lame, and every other negative connotation you can think of.

However, when speaking of 95% of the talent of World Wrestling Entertainment, you get your money's worth, that is an absolute certainty. I think I can say I have when it comes to signed items from John Cena. Let's look for a second, as I list quickly some of the items I have from WWE that have been signed by the Doctor of Thugonomics.

Foam US Spinner Belt
Foam US Belt
Replica US Belt (twice)
Replica WWE Title
Replica WWE Wrist Sized Title
Replica WWE Spinner Title
Replica WWE Wrist Sized Spinner title
Replica WWE Kids Sized Title
Jakks Pacific Ruthless Aggression #14 Action Figure
"You Can't See Me" CD
3 promo pics
1 pic from my wife's camera.
2 polaroids

17 signatures. Hrm. Ya think it's time to move on? I think so. It's sad, too, because I believe in my heart that you'll never find a celebrity on the planet where you could almost consider them a friend. And I almost feel that way when I think about the enjoyable micro-experiences I have had with John Cena while garnering these signatures.

Yeah, you could also call it minor stalking. I'll admit it. I'm a collector. What can I tell you?

Closing this VERY LONG PIECE, sorry for the ramblings, a thank you to the boys (and lady) at New York Sports Works, specifically, Alex, Mike, and Roe, my new friend, for being very hospitable to me and my crew, especially during the chaos that ensued when John arrived. I really believe that these guys go above and beyond to help out everyone who comes to these signings, and I continue to recommend you give these guys a shot. Even with the roulette that has been played with regard to site locations, they make every effort to get the job done as orderly as possible, and truthfully, you can't ask for much more than that. You can click here to check out their website. Next up in September is Batista & Michelle McCool, and then in October are the Hardy Boyz. Check the site for specifics and more information.

As for me, click here to check me out on myspace.com.

And lastly, click here to drop me a dime.

Beaucoup cenabling!