Reported by Adam Martin of WrestleView.com
On Wednesday, February 28, 2007 at 3:51 AM EST

Duane O'Brien sent in the following report:

Dark Match: Funaki vs Randy j? Bradley? Guy In Tights? Funaki won. I can't remember last time I saw him win.

Then probably all the stuff you already saw on ECW. And me holding up my 3"x5" sign that said "I'm in the penthouse"

Kennedy vs Sabu - the table was barely together at all. It looked awful live, even from the skybox. Kennedy won, moved on to MITB

Balls Mahoney vs Matt Stryker: two hot dogs, a beer and nachos - $23.00. Someone said a big bald guy interrupted. Snitsky I assume.

Monty Cor Van & Kevin Thorn w/ Ariel and Burke vs RVD & Tommy Dreamer w/ Sandman. Sandman spanked Ariel with the cane. That was pretty funny. Of course the new breed won. RVD's pop was huge.

CM Punk vs Steview Richards, who didn't get fired like I thought. Punk won, the match looked a little stiff from where I was. CM Punk should have a bigger pop than he gets.

Then three women did something in the ring to music.

The cage was lowered, and Holly was in the ring for what must have been 18-20 hours while we waited for commercials or something.

Lashly won of course. Someone I was with called him Black Goldberg. Which he later shortened to Blackberg.

Lashley's jump through the cage to get to Umaga was pretty awesome live. Even from way up there.

Ring breakdown, and watching the guy who shoots t-shirts into the crowd get heckled. That's gotta be a terrible job.

Anyway... SMACKDOWN RESULTS

Batista came out to a huge pop, and 'explained' his actions from No Way Out (Nothing new there). Then the crowd booed him. Loudly. A lot. They seemed to want to cheer him, but the crowd obviously favors Taker on this. As well they should.

Also, the pyro was really really loud.

Batista says he won't be intimidated, cue the gong, and Taker comes on the Titan Tron from a graveyard somewhere. He said a bunch of stuff we couldn't hear, but it sounded to me like he's teasing a gimmick match for Wrestlemania, either Hell In A Cell or Buried Alive. I couldn't hear very well.

Matt Hardy vs Joey Mercury for a Money In The Bank spot. Hardy's pop was huge! The match went on forever, but it was good. Hardy won with a twist of fate off the top turnbuckle, having removed Mercury's facegear. Good match.

Scotty 2 Hotty, Shannon Moore and Jimmy Wang Yang vs Davari, Gregory Helmes and Chavo. No 3 Count jokes please. (Oh yeah, Evan Karagias. We couldn't remember who the third guy was.)

Anyway, Popcorn and a beer, someone cheered. The good guys won. No idea how.

Vince came down to the ring to tremendous heat. Watching him in person I'll say this for him: He knows how to work the crowd. Vince ran down the Trump feud for a bit, when Bobby Lashly came out. His video says he's Soft Spoken. It ommitted things like "Can't talk" and "Missed jumping on the apron the first time."

Vince offers Lashly twice the money that Trump offered him to throw the match. Or something like that. People stared WHAT chanting at him. I never got that before...

Lashley tells Vince no, and Vince whigs out and slaps Lashley and starts screaming about how no one tells him no. Lashley threatens to beat him down, but Vince bails out.

Backstage, Mr. Kennedy begs Vince for a shot against Lashley. Vince gave him the match, No Holds Barred for Kennedy only, with a title change on Lashley countout or Lashley DQ.

Then Ashley wrestled Jillian. Kinda. And won, because of the whole Playboy thing. Actually, Ahsley didn't look all that bad. Jillian opened with I think some weird dance thing in the ring, but no one bought it. At one point in the match, Ashley kicked Jillian in the throat, and Jillian ran over to her mic, picked it up, and coughed into it a couple times. No one has any idea why.

Next up was Benoit vs Finlay vs MVP triple threat for a Money In The Bank spot. Somehow, when the lights were down, Little Bastard Hornswoggle was escorted to the ring.

Decent match, with a good spot of Benoit getting MVP in the Sharpshooter and almost making him tap, and then intercepting Finlay and almost making him tap to the crossface. In the end, though, Little Hornswoggle distracted the ref, allowing Finlay to knock out MVP and Benoit with the shillelagh. Finlay moves on to Money In The Bank.

Next up, main event. Kennedy comes down and immeditatly starts pulling off turnbuckle covers. He starts to do his mic promo, but somewhere between Mister and Kennedy, Lashley's music hits.

Solid match, with the ref playing up how Kennedy could cheat but Lashley couldn't. Kennedy looks great live. But even crotch shots and several Greco-Roman chairshots couldn't keep Lashley down. Lashly wins (again) and celebrates to a large and somewhat confusing pop.

After the upper decks emptied out, Booker T and Batista came out and wrestled a short dark match that no one really cared about. It was for the title. Batista won. Of course.

After that, things got weird.

Batista celebrated for a bit, but then came back in and pulled some bald guy in a suit into the ring, and said some more stuff I couldn't understand, but the gist was that the guy worked for WWE (Stage Manager) and it was his last night. So Batista had us all sing a rousing round of Na Na Na Na Hey Hey Hey Goodbye. Then Batista stomped on him in the corner and then, for reasons I may never comprehend, Batista gave him a Stinkface.

I'll not sleep the same.