Reported by Mike Siciliano of WrestleView.com
On Sunday, June 17, 2007 at 9:18 AM EST

As my current standing in TNA is 18 wins and 25 losses throughout the pay per views, It is safe to say that these picks just flat out suck. BUT, I went 6-2 at One Night Stand, so maybe my luck is changing.

And then, I woke up.

Let's go to work.

There's an awful lot of questions, and a tremendous amount of weird and almost sickly terrible booking here from where I sit for the TNA 5th Anniversary Show. But, I'm just a fan with a forum, so all I can do is point out what I think and wait for the TNA marks to come rail me in the emails. Well, lemme have it, because this is a cluster-F if I have ever seen one.

MR. BACKLUND vs. ALEX SHELLEY

Ok, ok, ok. Question: When were these guys on Impact last? Come on? I read the spoilers. I read the results. I listen to the videos. I WATCHED THE TAIL END OF IMPACT THIS DAMN WEEK, and they mentioned ZERO words about this match. ZERO. I would think if you're TNA, you'd want to promote the WHOLE CARD at your signature, or one of the signature PPVs of the year, but hey, I could be wrong.

Let's not talk about the fact as well that Backlund is somewhere around 900 years old. I mean, if this guy is going to lace up a pair of boots, let's get the cash stealing Kevin Nash out of the PCS studios and put him against Backlund. Talk about two fossils who couldn't move a muscle without breaking a limb.

Anyway, who wins? Hrm. Maybe the question here is, who truly cares?

WINNER: Alex Shelley

BASHAM & DAMAJA w/Christy Hemme vs. The VOODOO KIN MAFIA

Ladies and gentlemen, it's the feud that will not die. When you least expect it, TNA will continue to bombard you with Basham and Dam-ah-gyah. (is that how you pronounce it?) with Christy Hemme who looked like she went through a gothic makeover, and lost the makeover artist, if you know what I mean. (sheesh, woman, you're incredibly hot, but you look like an act for death.) If this match is not the quintessential example of four men who are DESPERATE for an angle or a niche within this company, then someone tell me what is. I hope, and pray, for all parties involved, that VKM win the match, and we move on. Quickly.

WINNERS: Voodoo Kin Mafia

LAX vs. RHINO & CHRIS HARRIS w/Hector Guerrero

Ok. You take the absolute best tag team of the beginnings of TNA, America's Most Wanted, and split them up. You have Harris & Storm absolutely KILL each other on free television for a spot in the main event, neither one of them get up, so how do you reward their efforts? You put one of them in a match that really has no business being on this card, and I'll get to that, and you put the other one in what WAS a singles match with a former NFL player, and now is a tag match because TNA figured out one on one, Storm would murder Wycheck. But, let's get to that, too.

First off, LAX are a pair of major league bad asses. No doubt. I HATED LAX when they started, not the players, but the gimmick. I hated it. But, you know what, Konann, Homicide, and Hernandez did what they do best, they beat people up, and Konann bragged about it. And I began to like it. A lot. However, LAX has been screwed by TNA because they have basically been put on the back burner for 3D while they hold the belts, and hence, when I say back burner, I mean this dumb feud with a member of the TNA "brass", Hector Guerrero.

While I don't mind seeing a Guerrero do what he does best, it's time to move on, and it's time to get Harris back doing what he should be doing at this PPV, and that's trying to kill James Storm. As for Rhino, well, bluntly, since Bound For Glory 2005, Rhino's been a man lost. And I don't think TNA has intention one on finding Rhino's way back to the promised land, so this is the end result for the War Machine. Meaningless feuds that either last too long, or don't last long enough. Regarding LAX, well, quite frankly, why aren't they being subbed in for the tag titles? They should be, they're the only true viable contenders with Steiner's injuries. But, we'll get to that later too.

Anyway, LAX wins. Why? Because they're LAX, damnit.

WINNERS: LAX

JAMES STORM & RON KILLINGS vs. JERRY LYNN & FRANK WYCHECK

Welcome to the pure cluster F of TNA Slammiversary 5. It's supposed to be Wycheck vs. Storm one on one. TNA must have gotten scared to death that Storm would kill Wycheck, so they made the tag match. But, making it possible to save this match, they didn't put Chris Harris in this match, they put Jerry Lynn. Which I could live with, barely, but then they put in Ron Killings. Tell me something, WHAT IN GOD'S NAME DOES JAMES STORM AND RON KILLINGS HAVE in common to be a tag team? Ok. Bad question, WHY PUT THEM TOGETHER? If you're going to do a heel tag team with Storm, then use someone on the same level. Use Tomko, Use Abyss, SOMEBODY else than Ron Killings. No beef against Killings, but he is returning from injury, and he has got NO business teaming with a former member of AMW. But, I digress.

Bottom line, Storm and the Truth win for one reason. They figure out a way to take out Wycheck. NFL guys do not belong in the pro ring. But, that's a whole different story for another column, if I get to it. I'm already four columns behind.

WINNERS: James Storm & Ron Killings

STING vs. CHRISTOPHER DANIELS

As much as I am annoyed at the fact that TNA messed with the "Fallen Angel" gimmick, this match has appeared to have gone down the route of a match with a lot of tension and emotion behind it. Daniels has turrned on Sting more times than a two dollar steak, and Sting has to be getting annoyed. What will probably happen though will make the entire thing go to pot, but it would be nice to see a significantly more "evil" Sting come out here tonight and take Daniels to school. Sting will win the match, but what will annoy me to no end, and what will probably happen, is he'll take the "high and mighty" approach to this whole thing, and that's just so old, it's stale beyond belief. What do you expect out of this current state of TNA, though, folks?

I don't expect much.

WINNER: Sting

Freedom Match
ERIC YOUNG vs. ROBERT "Don't call me Bobby" ROODE

It is such a shame that such incredible talents have been wasted in a storyline that should've endedd months ago. No, I don't like this storyline personally, but I understand it. I can accept it, but it's gone on way too damn long. And unfortunately, it's all out of focus now because, and this is going to sound so callous, but it's not meant to be, with Jeff Jarrett's involvement, and now lack thereof for the sad, tragic reasons why, this match is about two months late. It should've happened already, and both of these men should be moving on.

It's funny. I just watched Hard Justice 2005, and the Gauntlet for the Gold match with Young and Roode being highly involved in the contest as teammates. While I don't expect that anytime soon, I can say for certain that both of these men are insanely talented, and should be allowed to show their talents in a storyline that befits both of them.

This is not it.

WINNER: Eric Young

TNA X Division Championship
CHRIS SABIN vs. JAY LETHAL

I have to give credit where credit is due. Sabin has been a good heel. Obnoxious and annoying as hell at one stance, and damn violent at another. A heel all over the emotional spectrum. It's been enjoyable to see Sabin evolve in to a full blown villain for the X Division. Lethal has improved his game since taking on the "Black Machismo" gimmick, and I have to admit, he's got Savage down to a T. Both of these men can fly like the wind, and have evolved as combatants, and if given the opportunity, it should be a damn entertaining matchup. However, I'm not sure that TNA is prepared to put the belt on Lethal, yet. Soon, but not yet. I think Sabin will continue to hold fort in the X Division.

No offense at all to Jay Lethal, but the person who should be in this match is Jerry Lynn. I don't give a damn what's happened before, this is the anniversary show, it's painfully obvious that Lynn is going to get another run as X Division title holder, so put up the student vs. the teacher here, because it's damn emotional, it's right for the venue, and it's right for the PPV. But, as I said in the beginning, weird booking has been the key to this card, from start to finish.

WINNER: Chris Sabin

TNA World Tag Team Championship
TEAM 3D vs. THE STEINER BROTHERS

Ok. Truth. As much as I would like to see LAX in this match, because by far and away, LAX is the best tag team that is left in TNA by a landslide, I would love to see these four men go at it, tooth and nail. However, we all know that's not going to happen. Scott Steiner is hurt, and hurt bad, and I am guessing, although I don't know for certain, that this match is not going to go down as anticipated. With that being said, I am not going to put a prediction here, but I am going to give TNA props on one thing. Bringing the Steiner brothers back together on television, one way or another, is absolute brilliance. I don't give a damn how diminished their skills may be at this time, they are still one of the best teams ever, and any chance to see them in action, well, hell, it's got to be done. I hope that when Scott recovers they can rekindle this. Quickly.

One other thing, has any title gone down in value as much as the World tag titles since 3D took them? Did TNA forget they have a tag title?

King of the Mountain Match to crown the first TNA World Heavyweight Champion
KURT ANGLE vs. CHRISTIAN CAGE vs. SAMOA JOE vs. AJ STYLES vs. ???????

Here we go. The signature Slammiversary match to crown the first TNA World title. Can I comment on the belt first? Can we have a LITTLE color outside of gold on that belt? The other two are very nicely done with the red on the X title, and the black for the world tag titles, but the world title takes the solid gold color to an extreme that I thought was a bit much. But, hey, I digress.

Who is the fifth man for the match? Well, here's who I think could be the man.

1. Abyss
2. Jeff Jarrett

Personally, I think it's going to be Abyss because I am not sure if Jarrett is ready to resume competing. Abyss has all the reasons to come in to the match, and try and literally kill Cage and Styles. Jarrett could also take the position, as he has business and "emotional" ties to all four men, literally, but I am guessing they're going to try and build up Abyss as a babyface, and have him continue to feud with Cage once the match is over.

Now, on the preface that Abyss is the fifth man, let's go through the combatants one by one. We can eliminate Abyss and Cage out of the equation, because Abyss is going to do everything in his power to murder Cage, and Cage is going to be tucking and running from the word go, and it'll be funny to watch when Abyss does get him in his clutches. I also can eliminate Styles out of this equation because of the same reason. Styles will spend the majority of the match trying to keep Cage from Abyss.

One side note, how sad is the Styles character now? Watching Hard Justice 05 as I did this morning, it's pathetic to see how TNA has taken that character, and turned it in to such a patsy. Heel, fine. I can roll with heel. But he's not a heel, he's a patsy sissy doormat for Cage, and that's just pathetic. Styles is so much better than that. Back in the beginnings of TNA, Styles was a terrific heel, because he let his athleticism do his talking for him.

Returning back to the match, we're down to Angle and Joe. And that's what I think is going to happen. Angle and Joe will fight to the end for the belt, and Angle is going to get it. Why? Simple. I think Joe is still being punished for his comments following his forced removal from ROH, and I don't think Joe cares. Joe is collecting his paycheck, but his heart is not in the company at the moment, I think, because of what they forced him to do when he left ROH.

Don't tell me that I'm an ROH mark, and that's why I am saying that, because it's not the case. I think TNA is still pissed at Joe for the booking comments he made soon after his departure from ROH, and I think Joe is tired of the bull and isn't bothering to make much noise about it anymore, figuring he'll take his paycheck and run. He's made his legacy while in Ring of Honor, and there's not much more for him to prove in TNA.

I could be wrong in this whole thing, and this could be the preface to a feud with Angle and Joe again over the TNA World title, and eventually see Samoa Joe walk around with the new 10 pounds of gold, literally, and legitimately, not like last year at Bound For Glory in Detroit, (I watched that last night too). One way or another, I hope the injury that Joe is suffering from doesn't affect him too badly in this match, as I have seen from the past KOTM's that this match can get hardcore in a hurry. It would've been nice to see one of the 'hardcore' combatants take a stab at the title in this match, but there really isn't anyone out there to do it.

Anyway, I think Angle walks out with the gold, for now, and begins a program with Joe for the immediate future over the new TNA world title.

WINNER: Kurt Angle

Ok. One last thing. I don't want to hear it if you people think I'm out of line for the comments I've made about TNA. If I'm wrong, and I damn sure as hell may be, THEN TELL ME WHY. Send me an email, GIVE ME AN EXAMPLE, and I'll email you back and say I was wrong.

Just remember something when you're done reading this.

I'm no expert, as prevalent by my record this year in TNA PPVs, I'm just a fan with a forum who has a lot of problems with the creative aspect of TNA as we approach the five year anniversary show.

UPDATE
As of 4pm on sunday, I have read that Senshi is replacing Chris Harris in the tag match with Rhino against LAX. While I do not understand the logic of what TNA has done, any chance of Low Ki and Homicide to be in the ring together is something substansial. Especially when they're on opposite ends. The booking is still weird, but hey, it's TNA, what do you expect?

Also, it appears TNA has finally confirmed Scott Steiner's predicament. How in the name of the, nevermind, were TNA going to get some form of alternate transportation so Steiner could be in Nashville in time? Forgive me, but can we stop sprinkling on the bull? Emergency surgery on a throat, and we're gonna stick him on a boat to the main land, and schlep him off with tubes in his throat to Nashville in time for the PPV? Yeah, right.

Anyway, my picks still stand, no changes involved, I just am trying to remain the responsible schlub with the information. :)

I'm done. Debate me, if you'd like.

Click here to email me. Take care everybody.

NOTE: The column you have read represents one person's viewpoint only. Mine. It has no bearing on the general opinions of the administration of this website.