That's a Wrap #5

Reported by Hunter Golden of
On Thursday, March 12, 2009 at 12:09 AM EST

That's a Wrap
Week of March 2nd – 8th 2009
By: David Stephens of

Ousta! Welcome back to the only WrestleView column covering topics both nowhere yet everywhere at once. If you are new to the column you are probably going to hate us for the first couple weeks, but then you are going to hit a point where you say ‘oh wait a minute, I think he gets it’. Don’t worry, that’s exactly how it is designed to be. This column is all about gut reactions and traveling thoughts. As the great Andy Kaufman once said: “I just want real reactions. I want people to laugh from the gut, be sad from the gut, or get angry from the gut”.

The Curse Continues
My depressing ability to pick the next future endeavored or demolished superstar seems to continue. On Monday morning I posted a Kizarny tribute video to Mike Tedesco’s Facebook Wall, and on the SAME day WWE released the Carny talent. So my choice for favorite fringe talent once again results in misfortune. I can’t win.

Danny Bonaduce

I absolutely have to talk about this decision with TNA because I am throwing my full support behind the angle. Danny Bonaduce, who is most known for his time on the TV show ‘The Partridge Family’, participated in Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling. Now I don’t know how many of you actually watched the program, but I’ll admit that I did. Mainly I tuned in to see the wrestling personalities that were giving advice, but the whole concept was rather fascinating.

It was clear to all watching that Danny Bonaduce [who definitely had his struggles on the show] has a heart for the business. He loves wrestling and he truly seemed to have a desire to want to get in the ring. I will not for one second say that he has some astounding raw talent or anything of the like, however you gotta hand it to the guy, he was entertaining. You fuel his drive with all the reports of his anger issues and his drug/alcohol history and you’re really starting to get a witches cauldron of ideas stewing for some strong potential.

Kurt Angle was appearing on Danny’s radio show which is based in Philly and Danny expressed his desire to wrestle again. Danny specifically called out Dennis Rodman, a fellow show participant. Angle said that regardless of whether Rodman was willing, TNA would find an opponent for Danny, and the match will be taking place at Lockdown! Danny will be signing the contract on his radio show in the coming weeks.

I was amused to see all the different Internet Wrestling fans throw their arms up in despair bemoaning about how this was David Arquette and WCW all over again. Well let me educate you for a second – this has the potential to be what that gimmick failed to be. Russo was candid about his thought process, stating that WCW made the front page of newspapers when it crowned Arquette their World Champ. Critics will quickly point out that the following WCW had astoundingly low ratings. Let’s look at this at face value – Arquette was a publicity stunt pure and simple. I am not for a second trying to say that this was a great plan and should happen all the time, not at all. Sure, it had mixed results but the underlying theme carries on.

Throughout its history wrestling has always catered to a certain celebrity-promotion based element. From the first Wrestlemania up until present day celebrities have had matches, promos, etc. I don’t think I need to go into a list and point out all of the Mr. Ts, Drew Careys, Floyd Mayweathers, and Sports Figures who have stepped into the ring in one fashion or another. Their involvement just adds to the grandeur and spectacle of it all.

Danny Bonaduce is NOT in a Title match, this is a one off deal as his radio show is based in Philly, and he wants to do it not for a paycheck but because he’s got passion. At worst, Danny blades [which he stated he was willing to do] in the cage and puts on a terrible match that is quickly forgotten, or maybe it will create some publicity and be an entertaining couple of minutes. The web is full of so many haters and pessimists when it comes to professional wrestling. I’m not trying to say that everything is sunshine and rainbows, but you gotta have a little bit of humor and be willing to enjoy the product.

Come on we are watching grown men oiled up and rolling around on a mat with each other. It’s really easy to point out the absurdity of this bizarre form of entertainment. Yet, we all still enjoy it. You have to have a light heart and be willing to laugh at the craziness of the product and suspend your belief long enough to think that Hornswoggle really is Finlay’s son, or that a man of Rey Mysterio’s size could actually defeat someone of Big Show’s size. I say congrats to TNA for making this move, I’m looking forward to being ENTERTAINED by the segment at Lockdown.

Oh and love or hate the direction TNA has been headed recently [of which I’m personally not a fan] the bottom line is that the show has been getting record ratings week after week. So as far as I’m concerned full steam ahead TNA, let’s see you make me want to give you my money, because the second they accomplish that, the second they succeed.

Thoughts of Fantasy

Alright hang on tight. So I decided that as ECW recapper I would start frolicking around in my fantasies and picking out stars from around the world that I would add to my own personal wrestling promotion. I’m going to build f rom the ground up, and eventually I’ll probably even name it, but for the meantime I’m going to start the process of selecting my first pick.

Now I’m going to be completely forthcoming and say that I have no idea where I am trying to go with this, and it will probably take fifty thousand different forms before I decide what I want, but hey you all are probably used to that by now. The guidelines that I am going to be using will be selecting my talent f rom the Indy pool, that is to say no wrestlers who currently, or have had, a WWE or TNA contract. So next week tune into this column for an in depth look into the first talent for my yet-to-be-properly-named-or-formulated-wrestling-promotion

What’s in the News?

Iran wants an apology for the way the ‘Ayatollah’ was portrayed in ‘The Wrestler’

-Seth Myers covered this one on SNL: “The Iranian government this week has demanded an apology f rom Hollywood, saying the films “300″ and “The Wrestler” were “insulting” to Iranians. Well how about this Iran. You apologize for the Hostage Crisis, Pursuing Nuclear Weapons, High Gas Prices, Financing Hamas, Denying the Holocaust, and Setting Fire to a Danish Embassy because you were mad about a couple of cartoons and THEN get your apology for ‘The Wrestler’.”

Bill Watts officially announced for the WWE Hall of Fame and will be inducted by Jim Ross
-I offer my congratulations

So Cal Val wants the TNA Knockouts to pose for Playboy as a way to knock the WWE for pulling out as it continues moving towards its ‘PG’ rating
-This would be an intelligent move on the part of TNA if they act on it

Mr. T turns down the Hall of Fame because he considers it an insult that Pete Rose was inducted before he was offered a spot
-I pity the fool

Ric Flair stated that he would not be wrestling at ‘Mania
-Thank God! I was going to riot if he tarnished his retirement shindig f rom last year

The Rock hosted Saturday Night Live on 3/7
-Excuse me, I meant ‘Dwayne Johnson’ I have to get used to using his new ring name

Mr. McMahon causing frustration backstage due to erratic thoughts and paranoia over leaks
-Does this actually surprising anyone? This is the guy who has the hit single ‘Stand Back’

WWE interested in a reality show, perhaps bringing back Tough Enough
-The show produced both Miz & Morrison so I’m all for it

TNA has a new character ‘Andromeda’ played by Mexican cross dressing luchadore Cassandra
-I honestly can’t make this stuff up

JBL is now officially sponsoring OVW
-He’ll be renaming it Layfield Energy Wrestling any day now

Candice Michelle is out again with injury, this time her ankle
-With her contract up soon, I’m interested to see where this damsel is headed

WWE RAW – 3.8
ECW on Sci-Fi – 1.4
TNA Impact – 1.3
WWE Smackdown – 2.3

WWE Stock Update
Week Ending February 27th 2009
Low – 9.02
High – 9.75

Quick Results

-John Cena def. World Heavyweight Champion Edge by disqualification
-Shawn Michaels def. Vladimir Kozlov
-Mickie James & Kelly Kelly def. Beth Phoenix & Jillian
-Kane def. Rey Mysterio and Mike Knox in a Triple Threat Money in the Bank Qualifying Match

-Kane def. Boogeyman
-Mark Henry def. Santino Marella (Money in the Bank Qualifying Match)
-Natalya def. Alicia Fox
-ECW Champion Jack Swagger, World Tag Team Champions The Miz & John Morrison def. Christian, Tommy Dreamer & Finlay

TNA Impact
-Alex Shelley (c) w/Chris Sabin def. Kiyoshi w/No Limit (Yujiro & Tetsuya Naito) to retain TNA X -Division Championship
-The Beautiful People w/Kip James def. Awesome Kong & Raisha Saeed vs. Rhaka Khan & Sojournor Bolt vs. Taylor Wilde & “Hardcore Knockout” Roxxi w/The Governor
-“The Blueprint” Matt Morgan def. Shane Sewell
-TNA World Tag Team Championship Off The Wagon Challenge (if one of L.A.X. is pinned then they’re fired) LAX def. Beer Money Inc. (c) w/Jacqueline

-Montel Vontavious Porter def. Matt Hardy (Money in the Bank Qualifying Match)
-Divas Champion Maryse def. Eve (Non-title)
-United States Champion Shelton Benjamin def. Jeff Hardy (Disqualification) (Money in the Bank Qualifying Match)
-WWE Champion Triple H def. Umaga (Non-title) (Disqualification)

Must Read WrestleView Column of the Week
Baiamonte's Casa #4
Wrestling & The White House – by: Joe Baiamonte
He gets the nod this week solely for this excerpt: “Obama might be a whizz with the big speeches, but you can’t exactly see him punting Bin Laden and then RKO’ing one of his wives can you?”

So ‘that’s a wrap’…. Love it? Hate it? Disagree with everything I said? Just want to chat wrestling? I’m always up for reading your thoughts so send them ‘em on over.

- David Stephens