On Monday, January 9, 2006 at 11:50 PM EST WWE Raw
January 9, 2006
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry “The King” Lawler, & Jonathan Coachman
Reported By: Hunter Golden of WrestleView.com
A video package recapping last night’s events at WWE New Year’s Revolution aired followed by the opening credits and pyro. Joey Styles and co. welcomed us to Hershey and here we go.
John Cena’s music hit and he came down to the ring. Cena grabbed the mic and asked the fans who were half booing him and cheering him that if they were going to duel, they might as well just do. Cena said that life was full of choices. He said that Edge cashed in his money in the bank and beat him for the WWE Championship. He said there were a lot of choices being made many of the people of which decided that he sucks and will boo him. He said there were also some folks that made the choice to cheer him through good times and bad.
Cena quoted Allen Iverson in saying that there were a million people who loved him and ten million that hated him. He said he’d go to bat for every single one of his soldiers who would ride with him. He said for the ten million people drinking ‘hater-aide’, that they could kiss his ass. He said tonight he was making the choice to cash in on his rematch clause and that he was going to get his WWE Championship belt back.
Edge’s music hit and Lita came out with Cena’s spinner belt and a mic. Lita asked him if he wanted to be champion, because he was in luck and he’d get the chance, just not tonight. She said tonight the new Champion saw things a little bit differently. Lita said Edge had her talk to Mr. McMahon and after some persuasion he decided to push his rematch clause back to the Royal Rumble.
He said the only wrestling that would be going on would be between her and Edge and that unlike Cena last night, he’d last more than two minutes. She said that if Cena couldn’t see that, then he could suck it.
He made her hold up and told him that a few people thought he sucked but they knew that she sucked for sure. He said that she could tell Edge that at the Royal Rumble, he’d beat his ass.
The Women’s Championship is next!
Mickie James was in the ring and admonished the crowd for not cheering loud enough for Trish Stratus when she came down to the ring.
WWE Women’s Championship
Trish Stratus v. Ashley
The two women tied up in the middle of the ring and Ashley got a hammer lock. Both women reversed until Ashley clamped on a side headlock before going right back to the hammer lock. Trish fought out with a fireman’s carry and got a two count on the force cover.
Trish immediately regained the advantage with a side headlock. Ashley countered twice with a head scissors and caught Trish trying to go for a hurrcinranna. Mickie James all of a sudden jumped in the ring and went after Ashley for no reason causing a disqualification.
Winner: Ashley by DQ
After the match Trish tore into Mickie James yelling at her. She walked up the ramp furious at her biggest ‘fan’.
A video hyping the return of Rob Van Dam at the Royal Rumble match aired.
Mr. McMahon met up with John Cena in the locker room. McMahon talked about first times and said tonight there’d be a live sex celebration and wanted Cena to know it wasn’t his idea. He said he didn’t want anyone to interfere in it because it was the first time. Cena promised he wouldn’t do anything. McMahon said if he interfered he wouldn’t get his rematch at the Rumble. Cena promised he wouldn’t then asked McMahon to fix the tracks of oral persuasion on his pants.
Chris Masters went after Carlito in the locker room and admonished him for screwing him over last night. Masters said he better be dependable tonight, or he’d get what was coming to him.
Rob Conway was in the ring wearing pink awaiting his opponent.
Royal Rumble Qualifying Match
Rob Conway v. Chavo Guererro
Conway slapped on a side headlock and followed with a shoulder block that floored Chavo. Guererro rushed Conway into the corner and hit some punches before Conway countered with some punches of his own. Chavo reversed an Irish whip attempt and hit the clothesline on the rebound. Conway went to toss Chavo over the top rope but Chavo held on. Chavo attempted to skin the cat, but Conway knocked him to the arena floor.
After working Chavo over a little bit he tossed him back into the ring and got a one count on the cover attempt. Conway clamped on a reverse chin lock but Chavo fought out with some back elbows. Chavo was able to hit an inzeguiri which knocked Conway to the floor. He launched himself over the top rope at Conway and connected before tossing him back in the ring. Chavo hit a series of clotheslines followed by a hurricanranna.
Chavo mounted the turnbuckles and hit some mounted punches before hitting a nice standing drop kick. Chavo went to bulrush Conway again but Conway caught him with a boot to the face and attempted to roll him up.
Conway hit a body slam after the two count and proceeded to counter with a vertical suplex. On the ground however, Chavo reversed and hit the three amigos. Chavo scaled the buckles and flew off with the frog splash to get the pin and the victory.
Winner: Chavo Guererro via pin fall
The announcers put over the tag team main event which will feature Kurt Angle and Shawn Michaels taking on Chris Masters and Carlito.
Coach was cut off as we cut to the back.
Kurt Angle confronted HBK about last night. Michaels said he didn’t want to hear Angle’s whining. He said tonight they had bigger fish to fry and wanted to know if he could trust Angle tonight in their match. Angle said the real question was whether he could trust HBK. He said McMahon’s zero tolerance policy applies to Angle too.
Shelton Benjamin was in the back with his mom. Val Venis was wiping himself down and Mrs. Benjamin came up to him and introduced herself. Once Venis revealed that she had seen him in a lot of adult movies, she was offended saying her boy doesn’t hang out with homosexuals. She said he was going to hell, and going there tonight.
Carlito and Chris Masters made their way down to the ring. The tag team match is next!
Carlito & Chris Masters v. Kurt Angle & Shawn Michaels
Carlito and Masters jumped Angle and HBK and worked them both over in the corner. Eventually HBK and Angle gained the advantage and were able to get some sort of an advantage.
HBK clamped on a side headlock on Carlito, keeping him pressed on the mat. Carlito almost fought out of it but got caught right back in it off the whip into the ropes. Michaels floored Carlito with a shoulder block before getting caught in a hip toss. HBK kicked out of it before going back to the head lock and tagging in Kurt Angle.
Angle kept the pressure on with a side headlock. Carlito fought out sending him off the ropes but got snagged in a lighting quick fireman’s carry and right back to the side headlock. Carlito landed a few shots to the gut before countering the hold with a back suplex.
Carlito followed Angle to the corner but got caught with a boot to the mid section. Angle tagged in HBK who landed a hard chop to Carlito’s chest and followed it up with one more for good measure. Carlito planted HBK with a kick and tagged in Masters.
Masters was on the business end of two chops before tagging in Kurt Angle. Angle slapped on a key lock but masters fought out of it and wailed away on Angle in the corner. Masters missed the follow up on an Irish whip attempt but was able to catch Angle in a power slam. Masters went for the masterlock but Angle countered out of it and hit a German suplex.
Angle got fired up and charged Masters but missed him and went crashing into the ring post. Carlito sent HBK hurdling over the top ropes and to the floor as well. Angle and HBK argued with each other on the arena floor.
We came back to Angle almost nailing a German suplex but Carlito avoided it. Angle immediately turned around and hit a belly to belly overhead suplex. The referee began counting away at both men, who made tags to their respective partners. HBK hit some chops and then the inverted atomic drop followed by his clotheslines. Carlito came in but found himself ejected over the top rope to the arena floor. Michaels hit his body slam and flying elbow.
Michaels nipped up and began to tune up the band. Michaels went for the move, but Carlito tripped him up as Masters distracted the referee. Crotched on the ring post, Masters came over and tagged in Carlito. Carlito went for the pin, but only got a two count. Carlito snagged Michaels in a reverse chin lock and bore down hard, but HBK managed to fight his way to his feet.
Michaels came off the ropes trying to build some momentum but got a face full of Carlito drop kick on the rebound. Carlito went for the cover but only got a two count again. Carlito put Michaels back in the chin lock and again, Michaels fought out again only to get nailed by a nice looking back breaker.
Michaels fought his way to his feet and back body dropped Carlito and went to the corner to tag Angle but was left high and dry by his partner. Carlito dragged Michaels back to the corner and tagged Masters. Masters hammered away at Michaels hitting a huge military press slam. Masters went for the masterlock but HBK squiggled out of it. Angle didn’t bother to tag Michaels. Michaels ended up clocking Angle and flung him in the ring just in time to get caught in the master lock. Michaels motioned night-night to Kurt Angle and walked up the ramp. Daivari attempted to stop him but he got cold cocked with sweet chin music.
Angle passed out in the Master Lock giving the youngsters the win.
Winners: Chris Masters & Carlito
Michaels was in the back and McMahon cut him off and pointed out to him that he was a mess. Vince asked him if he felt like he was getting over on him tonight. He said that old Shawn Michaels we all loved. He said he couldn’t trust Angle, but he could trust him because next week he would take on Kurt Angle one on one. He said HBK needed to take care of his cut and walked off.
Todd Grisham was in the back with Triple H. HHH said last night shook up the world. He said the guy who was on top for nine months was beaten. He said it was by a guy who wasn’t even in the picture a week ago. He said the world is crazy right now but the one constant around Raw was him. He said he told everyone that he’d beat Big Show. He said last night he took Big Show down. He said you could put money on the Game winning the Royal Rumble and that he’d become WWE champion. He said he didn’t care if it was Edge or Cena, that the king of kings would go back on his throne at Wrestlemania.
The heel divas were in the back playing in the bed where the ‘celebration’ would occur.
A video of Edge’s interview from last night aired.
A video of Dancing with the Stars aired where Smackdown Diva Stacey Kiebler advanced to the next round of competition.
Royal Rumble Qualifying Match
Shelton Benjamin v. Val Venis
***I experienced cable difficulties during this match, therefore I was only able to recap the last minute of the match or so. I apologize for the inconvenience***
Shelton reversed the Irish whip attempt and went to follow up with the stinger splash, but Venis moved out of the way. He rolled up the reeling Benjamin but only got the two count on the cover attempt. Venis missed with the right hand and Benjamin attempted the T-Bone but was unsuccessful. Venis attempted a counter but spun back off balance and got clocked by Momma with her purse. Venis spun back to the middle of the ring and was planted with the T-Bone and covered for the win.
Winner: Shelton Benjamin via pin fall
Royal Rumble Qualifying Match
Kane v. Snitsky
Snitsky came right after Kane hitting some clubbing blows on Kane knocking him to the canvas. Kane sat up and connected with a huge boot to the face. Kane whipped Snitsky to the buckles and hit a running clothesline followed by a big sidewalk slam. Kane choke slammed Snitsky and got the cover.
Winner: Kane via pin fall
Kane got on the stick and said Snitsky was the first of 30 casualties on his road to Wrestlemania.
Edge got out of his limo and Lita came out to greet him. The live sex celebration is next.
Edge’s Sex Celebration
Edge put over that the new champ was here. He said the best thing was that no one saw it coming. He said all the people that thought they could predict what would happen in that ring, that he outsmarted them and cashed in his MITB contract after the chamber match. He said why bother putting yourself through the Elimination Chamber. He said in this industry you didn’t have to be the biggest or the meanest, you just needed to be the smartest. He said he bided his time with the title just like he did with Lita.
He said he saw what he wanted and like a thief in the night he took everything he wanted. He said he did the same thing last night when he took the WWE Championship.
A video package of Edge’s career aired recapping his accomplishments in the WWE.
Edge said after watching that video, even he had to admit that he was awesome. Edge said he and Lita didn’t have sex last night and waited for tonight instead. The celebrations began as they started taking their clothes off.
They had ‘sex’ for about 10 minutes before Ric Flair’s music hit.
Flair said Edge was a disgrace to the WWE Championship. Flair said that Edge had proven that not only was he a bad champion that he was horrible in the sack. Flair came down to show Lita how to really do it the right way.
He chased Edge out of the ring and went for Lita, but Edge came back with a chair and clocked Flair with it. Edge bashed Flair’s head off the announce table and laid his head on a chair. He took another chair and hit the concerto. John Cena came running out of the crowd and went right for Edge. Edge grabbed his belt and ran up the ramp.
Cena taunted Edge from the ring and then noticed Lita naked under the covers of the bed. Cena took the covers off but Lita had at least put on some clothing. Cena picked her up and FU’d her and jaw jacked with Edge who on the stage to end the show.RAW THOUGHTSThe Good-- Really not a whole heck of a lot. In fact beyond another very good showing by Chris Masters and Carlito, there’s really nothing that I even remotely enjoyed about tonight’s show.
The Bad-- Where to begin really. Edge should have started the show. Instead of Edge, we got three John Cena segments of him doing exactly what he shouldn’t be doing if he wants to get back over again. Oh well.
As good as Michaels and Angle are in the ring together, I’m tired of seeing the combo.
The title celebration was incredibly bad. It’s probably the worst segment I’ve seen on WWE television in a long, long time. Flair came up to have fun with the party but he got squashed. Great, the Intercontinental Champion looks like an idiot.
The matches really weren’t even matches. It was almost like they were thrown on there because they had to. Just a bunch of garbage.
The Ugly-- This one is easy. Royal Rumble qualifying matches are a waste of time. I love how a year ago Snitsky was pushing Kane to the brink and tonight, he took four moves and got pinned. Who honestly believes Rob Conway was going to beat Chavo? And on top of it, Chavo needs to put a stop to this living vicariously through Eddie thing. It’s getting tired already.
Overall F-- I’ve seen some awful, awful programming in the past two years from WWE, but this one may take the taco as the worst. This was an absolutely disgraceful show across the board. Ah and how come no one on creative remembered that Raw doesn’t have a GM? There was mention of that in the preview, but no mention of it on the show. Again, more misrepresentation. To make matters worse, people actually were ready to care off a great ending to the pay per view last night and not only did WWE fail to capitalize, they actually seemingly did everything they could to make it all seem like a joke. Do yourselves a favor. Watch iMPACT.
Who’s Hot, Who’s Not?
1. Shawn Michaels
2. Ric Flair
3. John Cena
2. Kurt Angle
4. Chris Masters
Match of the Night: Honestly, I’ll save Vince the embarrassment
WWE Champion: Edge (Last Week: 8)—Edge goes from probably winning the title in the most dramatic way in recent memory to half taking his clothes off and being forced to carry around the ridiculous looking spinner belt. Not a good start for Edge. That and they shoved him to the end of the show.
Intercontinental Champion: Ric Flair (Last Week: IC Champion)—He got his bean bashed in with a steel chair after interrupting a fake hump fest. Honestly, who cares.
1.Triple H (Last Week: 1)—I never thought I’d ever, ever say this. After his promo tonight, I hope his little prophecy comes true and we see him as Champ heading into Wrestlemania. Who knew even Triple H of all people would be an afterthought on his own show.
2. John Cena (Last Week: WWE Champion)—How the mighty have fallen. In a matter of three weeks John Cena has gone from probably the most over man in wrestling in the past five years to potentially one of the biggest busts in the history of the business. While I wouldn’t count him out yet, WWE creative hasn’t done him any favors by keeping with the same formula that’s earned him boos over the past month.
3.Chris Masters (Last Week: 3)—One of the only bright spots of the night really. He got a nice submission win over Kurt Angle to follow up looking great at New Year’s Revolution last night. He’s on a roll for sure.
4.Shawn Michaels (Last Week: 2)—He’s just doing the same thing he’s been doing for three months now; taking up space in the mid card and not really doing much of anything. This is the guy who should be facing Edge at the Rumble. But again, he’ll wander around getting screwed by McMahon for another two months until Wrestlemania.
5. Carlito (Last Week: 7)—Carlito is the other minor bright spot on the Raw brand right now. He’s performed very, very well two nights in a row and is really beginning to show significant signs of improvement. His work has been on the upswing consistently since October. Here’s to hoping he keeps it up.
6.Kane (Last Week: 6)—Kane squashed the guy who took him to within an inch of his life last year. Remember that? And people wonder why some folks laugh at WWE.
7. Kurt Angle (Last Week: 5)—Angle needs to stop screaming and flailing like he does. He’s going to pop a blood vessel. I just think he looks ridiculous with Daivari in his corner and more ridiculous whenever he opens his mouth. Tone the volume down and give him a reasonable program please.
8. Shelton Benjamin (Last Week: 9)—Benji picks up two wins in a row thanks to Momma. I actually am kinda digging this Momma thing for some reason. It has a shelf life though.
9.Chavo Guererro (Last Week: NR)—Chavo has been on a mini roll as of late and MAY be in line for an IC title shot if things keep going the way they’re going. He really could do without the Eddie fan groveling. He needs to be something other than Eddie’s nephew if he ever wants to move up in the business.
10.Val Venis (Last Week: NR)—Um, I dunno. He was on TV. WWE don’t really even use 10 workers anymore. Awesome.
Dropping Out: Gregory Helms (Last Week 10)
Any Questions, comments, or feedback send email me at [email protected].