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Raw Results - 3/26/07 - Chicago, IL (Next stop - WrestleMania 23....)

Reported by Hunter Golden of WrestleView.com
On Monday, March 26, 2007 at 11:49 PM EST

WWE RAW
March 26, 2007
Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Jim Ross & Jerry “The King” Lawler
Reported By: Hunter Golden of WrestleView.com


Coach was in the ring and said the match between Mr. McMahon and Lashley had been changed to a No Disqualification match. Any outside interference would result in a fine and suspension.

Steve Austin’s music hit and the crowd exploded.

Austin said he was sorry to interrupt but he had a story to tell. He said he was at his house in Austin, TX and a delivery man showed up with a new hunting knife, four wheeler, etc. and they were all from Donald Trump. He said he figured Trump was trying to buy Austin off. Coach said that was typical Donald Trump. Coach said Vince had too much respect for him as a person to do anything.

Austin cut him off and said he told the delivery man to take all the stuff back to NYC. Well, Austin figured out that the presents came from McMahon’s office in Stamford, CT. He asked Coach if Vince thought he was stupid. Coach said no one thought he was stupid. Austin told him to shut up because he was sick of listening to him talk. He said he was going to drag Vince out here by the back of his collar to the ring and shave his head bald.

Coach fessed up and admitted that it was him who sent the gifts and that McMahon had nothing to do with it. He apologized to Austin. Austin went over how he was going to officiate the match and he was going to send a message that what he says, goes. Austin said not to mess with him in the ring, and Coach better not screw him out of it.

Coach held him up and went into this nonsense about bald being beautiful. Austin pretended to laugh along and then stunned him. Austin drank some beer before we went to commercial.

The cameras showed Stone Cold getting in his car and leaving. As he drove up the ramp, a limo cut him off and the two cars beeped their horns at each other. They pulled up along side each other and Vince popped out of the sun roof and didn’t realize it was Austin. When he did, he apologized on behalf of his limo driver but Austin wasn’t having it and flipped him the bird.

After Austin left, Vince flipped out and beat up his limo driver and fired him.

****Commercial****

We just learned that the Women’s title match will be a “Lumberjill Match” at Wrestlemania 23.

Melina, Victoria & Jillian Hall v. Candice, Ashley & Torrie Wilson

Melina and Ashley started things off and Melina dished out a pretty nasty little slap before splitting off to tag in Victoria. Candice tagged in and hit a nice looking spinning wheel kick but got hit in the back by Melina when she came off the ropes. Victoria scooped up Candice and dumped her upside down in the corner before Melina tagged in and hit a drop kick to the face.

The heel team double teamed Candice for a little while before Jillian tagged in and hit a scoop slam. Jillian went for a somersault leg drop but Candice avoided her. The two struggled for a little while before Candice broke for her corner and tagged in Ashley.

Ashley hit a hurricanranna and some other flippy moves before all hell broke loose. We ended up with Jillian and Ashley in the ring. Jillian whipped her to the corner and went for the handspring elbow but Ashley caught her and rolled her up for the win.

Winners: Candice, Ashley & Torrie via pin fall

A video promo aired putting over the Umaga-Lashley match at Wrestlemania.

JR and King put over our main events before commercial break.

****Commercial****

CM Punk v. Kenny Dykstra

Dykstra jumped Punk right off the bat but Punk quickly turned the tables with a double underhook back breaker. Punk hit a back elbow then went for some sort of springboard move only to get knocked off the top rope by Dykstra. Dykstra put the boots to Punker before going for a cover.

The crowd chanted Punk’s name as he fought out of a rear chin lock but was cut off by a Dykstra drop kick. Dykstra went for a cover but only got a two count. Dykstra continued working over the home town hero, hitting a nice delayed hangman’s neck breaker for a two count before slapping on a mean rear face lock.

Punker fought to his feet before getting cut off yet again with a front face lock from Dykstra who attempted to turn it into a suplex. Punk kneed him in mid air before hitting a nasty reverse heel kick. Punk worked over Dykstra some more before planting him with some muy thai knees. Punk hit a kick to Dykstra’s head and then a springboard clothesline. Punk hit his step up knee to the face and followed up with the bulldog for the two count.

Dykstra hit a jaw breaker but couldn’t keep Punk off him for long. Punk hit the Go 2 Sleep which the crowd really popped for and gained the cover for the win.

Winner: CM Punk via pin fall

Edge popped up on the titan tron and tried to run down Punk. Edge said he wouldn’t have that winning feeling at Wrestlemania. He said if Punk had something to say, he could respond at the Money in the Bank edition of the “Cutting Edge”, which will be on next!

****Commercial****

Another video aired putting over Lashley-Umaga at Wrestlemania.

The Cutting Edge (W/ Randy Orton, King Booker, Finlay, Kennedy, CM Punk, Matt & Jeff Hardy)

Edge welcomed us all here. He said the third annual match would take place on Sunday. He said he won the first Money in the Bank, cashed it in, and became WWE Champion. Edge said he won three ladder matches at Wrestlemania. He said he wad won more ladder matches than everyone in the ring combined and he was undefeated at Wrestlemania.

Edge started with Matt and said he was shocked that he was on the Wrestlemania card. Matt said he’d leave him on his back just like his ex-girlfriend.

Edge asked Booker what he had to say. Booker just said ‘indeed’ and I marked. Booker said no one had reigned successfully as a monarch like he had. He called everyone a peasant. Finlay interrupted him and said he was tired of the ‘verbal diarrhea’ and that he was out here with a bunch of old women. He asked Edge if he was feeling froggy ‘chizzle chin’.

Orton butted in and asked Edge if he was going to duck out of this match too. Edge said that wasn’t true but Kennedy cut him off. He said it was true. He said edge didn’t want to fight and to step aside for “MISTAAAAARRRR” and Edge yanked the mic away.

Jeff Hardy said he was going to steal the entire show just like he does in all his ladder matches, even if that meant going through his own brother. Edge said that was enough.

Edge then moved on to CM Punk who got a huge chant. Edge asked him if was straight edge and mocked him for his beliefs. He said his addiction was sex, violence, before Punk cut him off and told him the only thing he was addicted to was running his mouth. Someone jumped Punk and everyone began to go at it.

Edge retreated out of the ring and laughed as everyone tore each other apart. The Hardys and Punk cleaned house and pointed towards Edge before chasing him to the back.

****Commercial****

Maria was in the back with WWE Champion John Cena. Maria asked him what would happen at Wrestlemania. Cena said Wrestlemania would be a magical place with playboy bunnies, Samoan bulldozers a King and Michael Cole. He said there’d be a little bit of everything there. He said the dust would settle and the two most intense, charismatic and controversial stars in Wrestling would fight over the WWE title. He said when Maria was a grandmother she’d be talking about one man on that night who could say he was the best, who had the nuts to tough it out and carve his name into the history books. He said that man would say “The Champ is here”. Pretty intense, albeit a little cheesy, but done well.

Yet another video aired putting over Lashley-Umaga.

Lashley-McMahon is next!

****Commercial****

No Disqualification Match
Bobby Lashley v. Mr. McMahon


McMahon stared Lashley down in the ring before grabbing a mic. He said he wouldn’t embarrass Lashley with his physical or intellectual superiority. He said he guaranteed he’d pin Lashley tonight, just like he said he was.

Trevor Murdoch and Lance Cade showed up out of nowhere once the bell rang and the two came at Lashley. Lashley fought off the initial onslaught before Lashley cleaned house. Chris Masters showed up after that and went right for the Master lock but Lashley fought out and hit a side slam. Johnny Nitro came down the shoot next but got slammed to the mat hard.

Lashley picked up Nitro and hit a hard running power slam. McMahon kept calling more people down the aisle and here comes UMAGA!

The two traded blows like crazy before Lashley began to gain the upper hand before McMahon hit a low blow and Umaga hit the Samoan drop. Mr. McMahon hopped up on Lashley and gained the pin fall.

Winner: Mr. McMahon via pin fall

Umaga hit a top rope splash after the match before hitting two running asses to the head. Lashley staggered to his feet only to get spiked like the bitch he is. McMahon made another cover for fun and ordered Lillian announce him as the winner.

Umaga picked up Lashley one more time and gave us just one more Samoan spike for fun. McMahon, Umaga and Estrada stood over Lashley in victory.

****Commercial****

Todd Grisham was with Mr. McMahon and said his win may be controversial. McMahon said he did what he said he was going to do and at Wrestlemania, he’d shave Donald Trump’s head bald. He said you could ask Donald himself and called in Eugene who was dressed up like Trump. He said anyone who thought Trump would win was, well, mentally retarded and took off Eugene’s wig. Eugene held the door for McMahon and fretted over his baldness as the limo drove off.

Randy Orton & Mr. Kennedy v. The Hardy Boyz

Matt and Orton started things up as Matt grabbed a side headlock. Hardy hit a double axe handle from the second rope and went for a quick cover but Orton kicked out. Jeff tagged in and hit a springboard drop kick and a one count.

Kennedy tagged in and went to work on Jeff booting away at him in the corner. Kennedy made fun of Jeff a bit before whipping him but ended up getting caught in a head scissors take down. Kennedy blocked the jaw breaker and threw Hardy like a Frisbee out of the ring.

Orton worked over Jeff on the outside before tossing him back in the ring. Kennedy went for the cover but only got a one count. Orton tagged in and with the help of his partner, mugged Jeff in the corner before Orton laid down the old Garvin stomp. Orton grabbed a side head lock on Jeff before dropping a knee in his face.

Kennedy tagged back in and laid the boots to Jeff’s back before looking for a suplex. Jeff fought him off the buckle and hit whisper in the wind. Orton tagged in and was able to insure Jeff didn’t reach his corner but Jeff mule kicked him off and made it anyways.

Matt tagged in and cleaned house before hitting his bulldog and clothesline combo. Hardy hit the side effect on both Orton and Kennedy but only got a two count on Orton. Matt went for a twist of fate but was clotheslined by Kennedy. Jeff popped back in to make the save though and the two hit the leap frog splash on Orton, but missed Kennedy. Jeff fell to the outside of the ring while Matt ended up being shoved by Kennedy right into an Orton RKO. Orton made the cover and that was all she wrote.

Winners: Randy Orton & Mr. Kennedy via pin fall

****Commercial****

The final inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame is JIM ROSS! JR got a huge standing ovation after the announcement.

The Great Khali v. Ric Flair

Flair came right at Khali and was tossed aside. Flair hit some chops but then got bonked on the head with a chop and back dropped. Khali hit a one -–anded body slam. Khali went to choke slam Flair on the ring steps before Carlito interfered.

Winner: The Great Khali via DQ

Khali picked up Carlito and double choke slammed him to the mat.

The pyro went off and here comes Kane with his meat hook. The crowd went bananas for Kane’s beat down on Khali. Khali ran off scared as Kane stuck his hook in his nose. I’m a mindless mark for this feud.

****Commercial****

A video putting over Stone Cold’s new movie aired.

JR and King ran down the Wrestlemania card.

HBK said John Cena represents everything he’d ever been in the ring with. He said they stood on the other side of the ring and wanted to be the best but it was a liar once they came across him. He said he was the show stopper and in six days, Cena would find out first hand what it was like to be on the top of the mountain but first he needed to get through the woods. He said he would be walking out WWE Champion. HBK said he had Cena’s back tonight.

****Commercial****

John Cena & Shawn Michaels v. Batista & The Undertaker

Taker made a b-line for John Cena and began beating him like a baby seal. Taker whipped Cena to the buckles hard but Cena fought back getting booed out of the building. Chicago loves this guy. The two traded blows like crazy in the corner before Taker reversed the whip and went for snake eyes. Cena went for an FU but it was countered into a choke slam. The two whipped Taker off the ropes but got owned.

Batista and Taker tossed Cena and HBK to the outside of the ring and the two turned on each other and decided to go at it before Cena cut them off. Cena ended up clotheslining Taker to the floor while Cena tossed Taker to the ring steps. HBK whipped Taker into the steel steps again before Cena chased after him and slammed him into the steel steps. Cena went for the cover but he was out of position and the ref broke it up.

HBK tagged in and went to work on Taker against the ropes with some chops before hitting a nice swinging neck breaker on the dead man. Cena tagged back in to a chorus of boos. The “boo”, “Yah” chants broke out as Cena and Taker traded blows. Taker hit a clothesline and went for a tombstone but Batista tagged himself in before killing Cena with a lariat.

Batista worked Cena over in the corner with some shoulder thrusts before Cena caught him with a chop block and tagged in HBK. Michaels tagged in and cleaned house but Taker came right back and went for the choke slam but then just killed HBK with a boot to the face. Batista amped up and mauled Cena with the spine buster. Taker picked up HBK and tossed him into Batista and elected to leave him on his own.

Cena hit a shoulder block and then his inverted suplex. HBK loaded up the tope rope elbow and connected. HBK amped up but Cena cut him off and the two went for a double five knuckle shuffle before Cena decapitated him with sweet chin music to a monstrous pop. Batista crawled over and made the pin for the win.

Winners: Batista and The Undertaker via pin fall

After the match HBK gave Cena a “You Can’t see Me” and then gave him a little ‘suck it’ action. MAN that was intense.

****Commercial****

JR and King replayed the Sweet Chin Music Shot and man was it awesome. Michaels gave everyone a little “don’t blame me” look on the ramp before the show signed off.

RAW THOUGHTS

Show Thoughts-- Wow, what an awesome Raw. So little to complain about from my end.

The opening segment was done well, letting the crowd loose right off the bat with a nice Coach-Austin segment that got some laughs and pops. It further establishes Austin as the totally combustible element in the match Sunday.

CM Punk was surprisingly VERY over, even for being in his home town. The crowd popped nicely for the Go 2 Sleep KENTA impression and seem to be digging on him. I think Punker’s winning MITB this Sunday.

The MITB edition of the cutting edge was great. Finlay wins the award for the overzealous tough guy. Booker said ‘indeed’ and I just about passed out. I love that gimmick. The Matt Hardy-Jeff Hardy segments of course were terrible but the comedy in between made up for it.

From there we went into super-McMahon hype mode with the usual McMahon heel screwing the baby face stuff we’ve seen a thousand times. While I’ll admit this program hasn’t been bad and the match may even end up quite good, I just am getting tired of Vince McMahon feuds because at this point they’re SO paint by the numbers they’re tough to sit through. Regardless, the crowd still eats them up.

It was nice to see JR get his due. I don’t care if the guy forgets a move here and there, it’s the emotion that counts and his commentary is plastered all over WWE history. He got a well deserved standing “O” this week.

The main event was just absolutely sensational on just about every level. They gave the crowd wanting a lot more and giving us a nice blow off to the long-played out Cena-HBK feud. It was just done brilliantly. Add in the super hot crowd and Chicago-style Cena hatred and you had the perfect place to pull the trigger with the perfect crowd. Incredibly well done.

Overall- A -- This was the best Raw WWE’s put on this year. Yes, there was a lot to be desired in terms of wrestling quality but tonight’s show was all about putting over the matches for Mania in a big way and WWE just delivered in spades. This is flat-out the best built pay per view in a long, long time, with almost everything giving the fans a reason to mark tonight. Tonight was an absolutely sensational show.

Quick Results
Candice, Ashley & Torrie def. Melina, Victoria & Jillian Hall
CM Punk def. Kenny Dykstra
Mr. McMahon def. Lashley
Randy Orton & Mr. Kennedy def. The Hardy Boyz
The Great Khali def. Ric Flair
Undertaker & Batista def. Shawn Michaels & John Cena

Who’s Hot, Who’s Not?

Biggest Pops
1. Steve Austin
2. CM Punk
3. Bobby Lashley
4. Shawn Michaels

Most Heat
1. Mr. McMahon
2. John Cena
3. Umaga
4. Edge

Match of the night: HBK & John Cena v. The Undertaker & Batista **

Power Rankings

5 Points= Title Win
4 Points= World Title defense/win
3 Points= Singles PPV Win
2 Points= Tag PPV Win
2 Points= TV Singles Win
1 Point= TV Tag Win
0 Points= Loss

WWE Champion: John Cena (11-4, 25 points) (Last Week: WWE Champion)—What a main event. Absolutely incredible fun. Cena took the kick, so count on him walking out Sunday with the title. What an awesome pay off for this angle though. The crowd went ballistic.

Intercontinental Champion: Umaga 6-2, 15 Points (Last Week: IC Champion) — Umaga’s booked better than anyone, save for possibly Khali, in the WWE right now. The crowd popped for the big splash, the asses to the face and the two spikes. Umaga making Lashley his woman was really needed tonight. He should carry the greenhorn to a fun match Sunday.

1. HBK 8-3, 15 points (Last Week: 1) — God that super kick reeked of awesomeness. Again, what a pay off. The match with Cena should deliver in spades.

2. The Great Khali, 6-0-1, 11pts. (Last Week: 2 )— I said this in the WV forums a few weeks ago and it warrants being said in a more ‘official’ sense. One of the biggest rules in wrestling is that if you are going to suck, make sure you suck so bad that you don’t suck anymore. Khali sucks to the point of being hilariously awesome. I don’t care what any of you people think either.

3. Edge 4-5, 10pts. (Last Week: 4) — Edge’s stick work tonight was pretty funny stuff. His running down the entire roster of MITB participants and subsequently getting owned by everyone made my night. He’s such a great heel.

4. Randy Orton 3-8 , 7 pts. (Last Week: 5) -- Orton gets a win over Hardy’s team tonight, propelling him ahead of Hardy who also cut a pretty crappy promo. Orton’s beginning to act more face-ish on the mic though, which means he’s going to probably suck again, but get a big push. Regardless, he moves up a spot and is probably the odds on favorite to win Money in the Bank.

5. Jeff Hardy (10-4-1, 23 points.) (Last Week: 3 ) — Hardy’s little promo tonight during the cutting Edge segment really spoke to why he’ll never get a push into the top part of the card. He’s nails on a chalk board on the stick. Plain and simple. Win-loss wise, he’s on a bit of a slide.

6. Ric Flair, 3-5-1, 5pts. (Last Week: 6) — Got his old man balls stomped on by the Great Khali.

7. Carlito 4-6-1, 7pts. (Last Week: 7) —Got his young buck balls stomped on by the Great Khali.

8. Chris Masters, 3-5, 6 pts. (Last Week: 8) — Nothing much going for Masters this week other than an utterly listless run in against Bobby Lashley. By the way, for those of you who missed it, Lashley made him his woman last week on ECW, hurting Masters’ record some more.

9. Super Crazy 3-3-1, 5 points (Last Week: 9) ) — Nowhere to be found this week.

10. Johnny Nitro, (2-6-1, 2pts ) (last week: 10) — Nothing doing for Nitro tonight other than taking a nasty power slam.

OTHERS : Kenny Dykstra 3-6, 6pts. (Last Week: NR)

Wrestlemania 23 Picks

It’s that time of year and here’s my forecast for this Sunday’s Wrestlemania!

WWE Championship
John Cena v. Shawn Michaels
-- The theme of this year’s WM is “All Grown Up” and it seems set up entirely to really put Cena and Batista over as THE guys for the next few years. While Batista’s momentum has largely dropped off, Cena’s stayed strong and with the exception of about 10 weeks of the last two years, has been champion. HBK is going through a bit of a resurgence but I can’t help but think this is just intermittent and he’s here to put Cena over. Sure, the rumor is HBK wants the belt, blah blah, but I don’t see it happening, at least not tomorrow night. A rematch between the two gives HBK the opportunity to win the belt, but get Cena over at the same time. While I think before all is said and done HBK may walk off with the belt, I don’t think it’ll be Sunday. This will be an absolutely fantastic match. Winner: John Cena

World Heavyweight Championship
Batista v. The Undertaker
--This has just been a really flat feud and it’s been Batista’s reactions that have almost killed it. Batista’s just missing that ‘X’ factor he had before his injury. I don’t expect this match to last super long. At one point, I’d have said this was easily the main event of the card, but now I’d be surprised to see this on before the Billionaires match. It may get the last match on the card, but that’s only because I think it’s almost a given at this point that Taker’s going over. Batista is probably in line for a heel turn as his character could really use it. Winner: The Undertaker

Battle of the Billionaires
Bobby Lashley w/Donald Trump v. Umaga w/Mr. McMahon
-- I think it’s a given Lashley’s going over here and we’re going to get a lot of stunners. I think Umaga will likely be protected with a flash pin of sorts, but I’m expecting this to a lot better than people are giving it credit for. The build has been done surprisingly well and all parties involved are getting a good rub. Winner: Bobby Lashley

Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Finlay v. Edge v. Randy Orton v. King Booker v. Matt Hardy v. Jeff Hardy v. CM Punk v. Mr. Kennedy
-- This like every year, is eagerly anticipated and everyone’s postulating over whose walking away with the contract. I’ll run down this match as quick as I can. Finlay is there to direct traffic. Booker is there to lend credibility. Matt and Jeff Hardy are there to die multiple deaths. I can’t see Edge winning the match again. That leaves Kennedy, CM Punk and Randy Orton left. Orton and Edge will end up exploding and I don’t think the feud will need the contract to get over. This is going to be the start of what I’m seeing as a big Orton push. Kennedy makes a lot of sense, but again, is at a point where he doesn’t need it. CM Punk seems like a logical choice. With his being loosely involved in the New Breed-Originals and Foley being there, I’m expecting Punk to get a huge rub at Mania to shake things up on ECW and bring some much needed attention to the brand. I’ll bet he wins the match and turns heel helping the New Breed. Look for a Foley-Punk feud this summer to lend some name value to the show while WWE build up a foil for Lashley. Really, look wise, background wise, everything, CM Punk is just the obvious choice. He’s got the most to gain and so would the brand he comes from. I’m going with Punk. Winner: CM Punk

WWE United States Championship
Chris Benoit v. MVP
-- This is the ideal choice for the curtain jerker. Benoit’s over and MVP’s entrance may be worth the price of the show alone. MVP should walk away with the gold here in what should be a solid 10-12 minute opener. Winner: MVP

WWE Women’s Championship--Lumberjill Match
Melina v. Ashley
-- To be honest I’m pretty shocked this is the title match this year but seeing as WWE likes to toss the Playboy cover girl every year into a match, you kind of expect it. Regardless, Melina’s a great heel even those she’s more than rough around the edges in the ring. Ashley’s got a TON of potential but now isn’t her time. This’ll be short. In fact, I’m expecting all the Diva entrances to last longer than the match itself. I’ll bet this splits the two World title matches. Winner: Melina

Kane v. The Great Khali-- I’m a mark for this feud solely because it falls into that ‘awesomely bad’ category. The cardinal rule of wrestling, as I said earlier, is that if you are going to suck, suck to the point where you’re awesome. Khali fits that bill. The feud has been a lot of fun and their segments surprisingly have had a lot of heat to them, despite, again, being horribly bad. This match will blow so much I’ll give it *********1/4 stars without even seeing it. Match of the year? No, people. Match of the last five and two thirds century. Winner: The Great Khali

ECW Originals v. The New Breed-- Here’s to hoping this is turned into an ‘extreme rules’ match. I think it would help it ten-fold. The New Breed has to win this match as the whole purpose is to really put over the new group of heels. Expect CM Punk to play a role and of course, Mick Foley ain’t hanging around for nothing. This’ll be fun but likely a lot shorter than it should be. Winners: The New Breed

Have fun and be safe this weekend! Let’s see if I can improve upon my entirely mediocre record this year.