On Monday, August 6, 2007 at 11:28 PM EST WWE RAW
August 6, 2007
Commentators: Jim Ross & Jerry “The King” Lawler
Reported By: Hunter Golden of WrestleView.com
Mr. McMahon was walking around the back and was stopped by Coach. He ordered Coach to make sure every WWE Superstar under contract was in the ring. Tonight he said, he was going to be exercising his freedom of expression.
The opening credits and pyro went off before all the WWE superstars began flooding the ring. McMahon’s music hit and he came out to the ramp. Vince said he had a lot to say tonight.
Vince said the last official time he was on Raw, he was blown to smithereens. He showed a clip of his supposed demise. He said he wanted to go out in a blaze of glory and it almost happened. A lot of people asked him why he would stage his own demise and he said he needed to know whether or not the fans really cared about him or not. He said the outpouring of sympathy and concern was overwhelming. He said he was loved by everyone everywhere, in the ring, in the crowd and all over the planet.
He said he was a pioneer and a fierce competitor and a sooth sayer. Vince called out the US Congress. Uh oh. He said he would address the hypocrisy of the news media. He said he’d also address some certain individuals of his immediate family. He said he had something to say to the wrestlers in the squared circle.
Coach popped up on the ramp before Vince could say anything. Vince said in just a moment the bell would be ringing and we’d have a battle royal. The winner of the battle royal would become the new general manager of Raw.
The bell rang and here we go.
Battle Royal For the GM position on Raw
Order of Elimination
1. Super Crazy
2. Paul London
5. King Booker
7. Paul London
10. Lance Cade
11. Val Venis
13. Ken Kennedy
14. Brian Kendrick
15. Jim Duggan
16. Cody Rhodes
18. Shelton Benjamin
19. The Sandman
Winner and NEW GM of Raw: William Regal
The classical music playing while Sandman is being shown getting tossed over the top rope is pretty hilarious.
Coach was in the back looking pretty perturbed about Regal’s ‘promotion’. McMahon ignored him and proceeded along the lines of taking some pot shots at Congress. After noticing Coach was glum, McMahon asked him to cheer up and it wasn’t like he was getting fired or anything. In fact, he would be Regal’s assistant. Coach looked less than thrilled.
A Triple H promo aired.
King Booker cut a promo that was pretty darn great. He talked about decrees and how Triple H being a king was a mockery. He said his match with “Jerome” Lawler would result in one man putting a crown on another’s head. Sounds good to me.
Rory McAllister v. Snitsky
Snitsky grabbed Rory and flung him into the ropes before killing him with a lariat. Snitsky took about three seconds to pump handle slam him after that and, well, that’s that.
Winner: Snitsky via pin fall
Coach ran up to Vince in the back and told him his accountant was on the phone. Apparently the IRS has been investigating Vince. He told them to open up every account and disclose everything. Vince went on a tirade on the media and then shook his head and walked off. Looks like our old friend Irwin R. Shyster is reading the newspaper in the back. He must be the auditor.
Jillian Hall came out to the ring and began asking Lillian about her upcoming album. Jillian’s decided to sing. Good lord. Mickie James came out to stop the bleeding.
Mickie James v. Jillian Hall
Jillian didn’t like the interruption and jumped Mickie before the match and tossed the smaller James all over the ring. Jillian slapped on a really nasty looking bow and arrow and sang for a little while.
Mickie broke the hold and caught Jillian running at her with a back elbow before tossing the larger Hall with a head scissors. Mickie came back with some clotheslines and a Lou Thesz press before hauling off on Hall. Mickie hit a hangman’s neck breaker for a two count shortly thereafter.
Mickie went for a roll up with a bridge but Jillian kicked out before eating two kicks right to the grill. Mickie looked for something off the top rope but Jillian split to the apron. Jillian caught Mickie napping and hit her with a kick to the gut and then a full nelson face buster to the mat for the win.
Winner: Jillian Hall via pin fall
After the match Jillian gave Lillian some creepy looks on the outside.
William Regal was in the back with Coach. Regal said he always wanted to be a game show host and asked Coach to round up some people for a ‘little ditty’ he wanted to model after the dating game. Coach reluctantly agreed.
Apparently, WWE Champion John Cena is going to be the special guest on Carlito’s Cabana which is coming up next!
Carlito said he was sometimes accused of not having any ‘juevos’, but things went so well last week, he figured he’d do it again this week before introducing John Cena.
Cena came right down to the ring and stared down Carlito and sent him into a chair on the set. He took over the show and renamed it “Cena’s Cabana”. Cena proceeded to interview himself. He said some punk spat apple in his face last week. He said before he jumped to conclusions, we needed to see a replay of last week.
Cena knocked Orton a little bit before introducing his favorite segment on the cabana: The top three reasons he should trash the set and beat the hell out of Carlito:
Reason 3: These are the only nuts Carlito will ever have.
Reason 2: In real life, he doesn’t like spitting out apples, he likes swallowing bananas.
Reason 1: Because that’s cool.
Cena jumped Carlito which prompted Randy Orton to sneak up on him. Cena was waiting for him though and chased him out of the ring. He FU’d Carlito and stared down Orton from the ramp.
William Regal interrupted the proceedings and told Cena he was glad to see him in a fighting mood tonight, and he’d get his wish. He’d get Carlito or Orton, but that wasn’t up to Cena, nor was it even up to him. It was up to the two of them to make a decision.
Regal was asking Carlito and Orton what they decided. The two of them had agreed that there wasn’t any need for the two of them to face Cena at all. Instead, they put their heads together and decided Cena should face Umaga in a champion v. champion match.
Vince was also in the room and after Orton and Carlito left, Vince asked Regal if he could confide in him about his family. Vince ran down how he needed to galvanize his family and bring them tighter together. He said it was time for the goodness in him to come out and he could stay the course. He said there wouldn’t be anything that could stop it. Vince looked off rather oddly.. Strange.
Loser Crowns the Winner Match
King Booker v. Jerry “The King” Lawler
The two circled it up before locking horns. Booker backed King into the corner and began hammering away at him. Lawler fought back with PUNCHES and chased his foe out of the ring.
Booker took some time to cool down before coming back in and grabbing a hammerlock on Jerome. After a fun little struggle, Lawler reversed and Booker took off again. Lawler didn’t let him go away this time though and bullied Booker to the corner with PUNCHES.
Booker took advantage of a respite from the ref to cheap shot Lawler and floor his adversary with a right hand for a two count. Lawler fought back with PUNCHES of his own and floored Booker a third time, sending the former World Champion to the outside yet again. Booker caught Lawler napping and snap mared Lawler’s head off the top rope before coming into the ring and laying the boots to the King.
Booker taunted the crowd some before laying in some nasty chops in the corner. Booker was in total control and managed to nail Lawler with a back kick for a two count. Booker locked in a top wrist lock to keep the King at bay but as we’ve seen the last 30 years, that doesn’t work to well.
Lawler fought out with PUNCHES, but he screwed the pooch on a drop kick and Booker was able to maintain his advantage. Booker continued to kick and stomp away on Lawler while addressing his loyal subjects in the crowd. Booker went for a cover but only got two and the King of Kings decided to go back to the chin lock.
Lawler again fought back up only to get cut off. Book looked for the scissors kick but Lawler avoided it and hit some more PUNCHES. Lawler floored Book and sent him to the outside. Lawler got t he best of the match on the outside before tossing Booker back into the ring.
Sharmell interjected herself however and distracted Lawler for one brief moment. As Lawler crawled back through the ropes, Lawler got completely jacked with the scissors kick. It’s all over, just like that.
Winner: King Booker via pin fall
After the match Lawler stared off as Booker thanked his subjects on his way up the ramp.
A video aired of Bobby Lashley being injured at the hands of Mr. Kennedy last week. We have learned that Lashley’s torn a rotator cuff.
Ken Kennedy’s music hit and he came down to the ring. He asked the fans a question: Do You know what Bobby Lashley’s hearing right now? He said it would be the same thing everyone /* would be hearing from here on out: KEEEENNNNEEEEEDDDDYYYY.
Kennedy just kept on repeating his name until we went to commercial. Why do I have a feeling he’ll still be going when we get back?
Orton and Carlito are amping up Umaga in the back.
Oh great, it’s the WWE dating Game.
William Regal Presents: The Dating Game
OH good lord. Hacksaw is in a suit. The tie is around the 2 X 4. He acknowledged that he had a massive piece of wood. Regal says he’s heard otherwise.
Simmons is next. Regal said he had ‘a very limited vocabulary’. We got our ‘damn’.
Santino Marella is next. Regal said he was brutalized by Umaga like he brutalized the English language. Santino told us how much pain he was in. This is priceless.
The diva whose going to try and win a date with these idiots is Maria. Regal disclosed to use she liked Rainbow Bright. Regal told us she’d ask the bachelor’s some questions and she’d pick who she’d go on a date with.
Hacksaw promised he wouldn’t call her a ‘hooooooo’. Regal was befuddled by Hacksaw’s single-ness.
Simmons couldn’t figure out what to bring her for breakfast before saying “SPAM!”.
Maria went to ask Santino something when he cut her off and said everyone loved seeing them together. Maria said that was the worst Santino impression she ever heard.
She asked Simmons what war he’d have prevented to which he responded “NAM!”
Santino interjected again and tried accusing the other two of talking about hating puppies and babies. Hacksaw told Santino to go back to his country. Santino asked him if he was mildly retarded. This is unreal.
Regal said it was time to make a decision. Everyone got a big pop except for Santino. After all that fighting, it looks like she’s picked Ron. That of course, sent Santino over the edge. Simmons told him to “SCRAM”. Marella said no one could stop him from taking his woman away with him.
Umaga’s music hit and here he comes. Santino and everyone /* took off while Umaga tore apart the flowery wall paper.
Coach is in the back before someone showed up with summons for Mr. McMahon. Coach just signed it without realizing it was for something big. Coach sort of had a smile on his face.
Umaga v. John Cena
This should be outstanding. Cena ducked out of the way of Umaga before hitting some right hands. Umaga easily reversed it and hammered Cena into the corner. Umaga hit a big chop before hammering away on Cena on the mat.
Umaga whipped Cena to the corner hard before standing over him and mocking him. He began hammering away at Cena with some head butts before sending Cena off the ropes and flat backing him with a shoulder block. Umaga had so much fun the first time he did it a second time.
Cena fought back with some punches and kicks before hitting his flying snap mare. The move didn’t phase the Samoan though, as Cena was hammered in the face with a spinning wheel kick that sent him careening to the floor.
We came back to Umaga in complete control again with a neck vice slapped on. Over the break Umaga sent Cena through the ropes into the ring table. Cena struggled to break the hold before Umaga hit a kick to the gut. Umaga missed a clothesline and Cena went for an FU only to pancake flat on his face with the big man crashing down on his head.
Umaga hammered away on Cena, beating him all around the ring before picking the champ off the apron only to get snap mared on the top rope. Cena immediately went to the top rope and looked for a cross body block but Umaga caught him and killed him with a side walk slam.
Umaga went to the top himself and looked for the big splash but Cena wasn’t there. Cena immediately pounced on Umaga and slapped on the STFU. Orton and Carlito came running down to the ring to mug Cena.
Winner: John Cena via DQ
Carlito and Orton beat Cena down in the corner before gathering Umaga for a running butt to the face. Orton and Carlito slapped Umaga little too hard though and ticked off the big man. He nailed them both with spikes before setting up Carlito for a running butt to the face. Carlito wiggled out of the way just in time.
William Regal came out and announced that the MSG main event would be Umaga & John Cena against Carlito & Orton. Cena chased Orton to the back.
Mr. McMahon was in the back and said his goodbyes to the wrestlers before heading out the back door. We’ve seen this before. The two shady guys from last time were there and it looks like someone was sitting in a car off to the side. McMahon tentatively got in his limo and went to close the door before Coach stopped him in the nick of time. He said McMahon needed to read these summons. Apparently the state of Connecticut is summoning him for a law suit for a illegitimate siring of a child. Apparently there’s another McMahon out there. McMahon looked despondent. RAW THOUGHTSShow Thoughts-- I’m mixed about tonight’s show to be honest. First I guess I’ll hit the good stuff.
The Booker-Lawler match was really good. Sure, the crowd didn’t react to it like they probably should have, but it was a really classic Lawler in Memphis facing a dastardly heel match with the ending that sort of takes the wind out of your sails, a little reminiscent of Lawler-Idol. This is definitely setting up for Triple H’s return next week and so far the side angle has really worked well, IMO.
Regal as GM makes too much sense not to do as he’s the best actor the WWE’s probably ever had. The GM segments afterwards were a shade forced, but I’ll get into that theme a little later.
Cena and Umaga have sensational chemistry in the ring. Tonight’s match was really good. Again. The crowd’s been popping for Umaga for a while and it makes a ton of sense to turn him. It had a lot of Roberts/Savage/Taker from 92 in it.
And yes, the Raw Dating Game, as much as I rolled my eyes when I first saw it, came off really well, although I question how wise it is to invest this much time in the Maria-Santino angle. All things considered though, it was really the most legitimately funny segment Raw’s had since the Rock’s ‘concerts’ in Sacramento a few years back.
Now for the not so great. I noticed a theme tonight and that was that WWE really seemed to be trying way too hard. The McMahon stuff had a nice build highlighting all of Vince’s problems and blowing off with the swerve in the end, but I felt like it took the steam out of the Umaga turn and Orton-Cena build.
The Cabana segment was forced and the Kennedy thing just wasn’t effective at all, at least for me. The Umaga turn took too long to unfold too. Had he hit the running butt or had a little bit more of a reaction to Cena being named his partner, it’d have worked but I don’t feel like it had the oomph to it that it could have had. It wasn’t bad by any means and maybe I’m being too picky, but honestly I felt it was a shred forced too.
I just felt like the overstuffed the crowd tonight to the point where they weren’t giving fans enough time to react to what just happened. This wasn’t a bad Raw, in fact it was pretty solid, especially the second hour, but it felt a big crammed.
Overall Grade: B-
William Regal won a 20 Man Battle Royal to become the NEW General Manager of Raw
Snitsky def. Rory McAllister
Jillian Hall def. Mickie James
King Booker def. Jerry Lawler
John Cena def. Umaga
Who’s Hot, Who’s Not?
1. John Cena
3. Jerry Lawler
4. Mickie James
1. Mr. McMahon
2. King Booker
3. Randy Orton
4. William Regal
Match of the Night: (toe) King Booker- Jerry Lawler **¾, John Cena-Umaga **3/4
Power Rankings5 Points= Title Win
4 Points= World Title defense/win
3 Points= Singles PPV Win
2 Points= Tag PPV Win
2 Points= TV Singles Win
1 Point= TV Tag Win
0 Points= Loss
WWE Champion: John Cena (21-8-1, 58 points) (Last Week: WWE Champion)— Cena was pretty ho-hum on the stick tonight and I felt like there was a bit too much going on with him, Umaga, Carlito and Orton. His performance in the ring was pretty stellar tonight. Not the best Umaga-Cena match this year, but it was still pretty awesome.
Intercontinental Champion: Umaga 18-11-1, 40 Points (Last Week: IC Champion) — I’m intrigued to see where this face turn goes, I just hope they don’t change too much about him. I’d even go as far as to make him more of a tweener-loose cannon sort of character. We’ll see where they’ll go with it but I’m going to stay optimistic.
1. Randy Orton 12-16-2 28pts. (Last Week: 1) -- Orton just seemed ‘off’ this week for one reason or another. He wasn’t dreadful but seemed to lack the spark he’s had. They’ve GOT to keep him away from the stooges right now.
2. King Booker 3-4, 5 pts. (Last Week: 4) -- Book’s the best character on Raw right now and puts in another good-great performance tonight. Book’s heel work has been utterly sensational on Raw thus far.
3. Carlito 12-11-3, 21 pts. (Last Week: 3) — Say what you will, but at least they’re keeping him busy and keeping him around the main event guys to give him a bit of a rub. His character could really use it and all things considered, this works for now.
4. Jeff Hardy 24-11, 45 points (Last Week: 2) — No action tonight.
5. Ken Kennedy 2-3, 4 pts (Last Week: 5)— He knows his name.
6. Snitsky 3-0, 6pts. (Last Week: 7) — Another squash for Snitsky tonight but unfortunately he really lacks direction. There’s no real foreseeable place to squeeze him in to boot.
7. William Regal 3-1, 5pts (Last Week: 10) -- Regal wins the only way Regal wins and the GM thing will be good for him. It’s really the best role for him all things considered.
8. Trevor Murdoch 6-11, 11pts. (Last Week: 8) -- Not in action tonight
9. Lance Cade 5-10, 9pts. (Last Week: 9) -- Same here.
10. Bobby Lashley 3-4 5pts. (Last Week: 6) -- INJURED
Santino Marella 5-5, 13pts. (Last Week: NR)
Shawn Michaels 10-7-1, 19 points (Last Week: INJURED)
Super Crazy 4-7-1, 7 points (Last Week: NR)
Shelton Benjamin 2-10-1, 2pts. (Last Week: NR)
Charlie Haas 2-8-1, 1pts. (Last Week: NR)
Rory 0-5, 0pts. (Last Week: NR)
Robbie 0-6 0pts. (Last Week: NR)
JTG 5-5, 6pts. (Last Week: NR)
Big Shad 4-5, 4pts. (Last Week: NR)
Jim Duggan 0-4, 0pts. (Last Week: NR)
Val Venis 0-3 0pts. (Last Week: NR)
Triple H 2-0, 4pts (Last Week: INJURED)
The Sandman 1-4, 2pts. (Last Week: NR)
Daivari 0-2, 0pts. (Last Week: NR)
Mick Foley 0-1-1, 0 pts. (Last Week: NR)
Brian Kendrick 1-1, 1pt. (Last Week: NR)
Cody Rhodes 1-2, 2pts. (Last Week: NR)
Sgt. Slaughter 0-2. 0 pts. (Last Week: NR)
Paul London 2-1, 3pts. (Last Week: NR)