On Monday, March 17, 2008 at 11:47 PM EST WWE RAW
March 17, 2008
Commentators: Jim Ross & Jerry “The King” Lawler
Reported By: Hunter Golden of WrestleView.com
The opening pyro hit and here we go.
Chris Jericho is in the ring and he’s got his first guest, the Intercontinental Championship. The second guest is the Big Show. He thanked Show for giving us a clip that didn’t involve Mayweather using his face as a piñata. He showed highlights from last week and Show said it re-enforced the fact that no one likes Floyd Mayweather. His peers don’t like him, the guys in the back don’t like him and the fans sure don’t like him.
He said Jericho wouldn’t last in the ring two seconds and he wondered why that made Mayweather think he has a shot. Jericho went a little creepy and started getting in Show’s face. Show said Jericho needed to cool down. He said he didn’t think Jericho was as bad as Mayweather would be, he was just the WWE equivalent. He was loud, obnoxious, etc. He also said Jericho was in over his head. He challenged Jericho to an IC title match later tonight and sure enough, we’ve got it.
Mr. McMahon is in the back and he’s talking about himself and it’s glorious. Well he says nothing could top everything this week, his name on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, WWE stock going up and his 700 pound squat. He said except being a McMahon on St. Patrick’s Day. He said he wanted to do something special and tonight… he’d end Ric Flair’s career. In a street fight.
CM Punk v. Carlito
The two locked horns and grappled around for a little bit and we’ve got a stalemate. Punk hit a back kick and well, another series of kicks before Carlito finally avoided one and was able to dump Punk to the outside of the ring.
Carlito caught him coming back in and floored him with a right hand before slamming him headfirst into the turnbuckles. Punk turned the tide briefly but got caught with a kick as his head stuck through the ropes. Carlito slapped on a bow and arrow and we’re at a good old rest hold.
Punk fought back and almost grabbed a roll up, but Carlito responded with a hand spring elbow off the kick out for a two count. Carlito went back to a chin lock, trying to wear Punk down. He dropped a few elbows on Punk’s head to maintain control, but once the crowd got into it, Punk was able to fight to his feet.
Punk countered out of the hold and immediately hit a knee in the corner and rushed out with Carlito’s head in toe for a bulldog to get a two count. Punk ate a drop kick on the springboard lariat, but wasn’t able to connect with a back cracker. Punk went for Go 2 Sleep, but Carlito countered out with a nifty swinging neck breaker for a great near fall.
Carlito went for another springboard move but Punk caught him in mid air and killed him with Go 2 Sleep for the win.
Winner: CM Punk via pin fall
Snoop Dog is in the back and he’s a master of ceremonies at Bunny Mania. He reads a really badly scripted few lines before he stops and says these cue cards are ridiculous. Santino Marella comes out of course and calls Snoop Dog “Snoopy the Dog”. Really who cares about anything /*.
Raw Gm William Regal calls Umaga out to the ring for a fight against both Paul London & Brian Kendrick.
Umaga v. Brian Kendrick & Paul London
Oh this is just beautiful. No one bumps and dies more spectacularly than London and Kendrick. Really play by play is dumb for this, so I offer glorious highlights:
1. Double Samoan Drop
2. Head smash. No two of them.
3. London tossed by his hair in air and spiked.
Winner and Still the best thing to happen since Sliced Bread and Garbage Pail kids: Umaga by a lot
BTW, Brian Kendrick just walked out on Paul London. So sinister.
William Regal and Triple H are in the back gleefully putting over the stipulations for the Orton/Cena v. Everyone match. If Cena runs, he’s out of the match at Wrestlemania. If Orton runs, he’s going to be stripped of the belt. Regal tries to prevent it from happening, asking Triple H why he just doesn’t strip the title from Orton. Triple H said he had been awarded titles before. It wasn’t satisfying. Instead, he was going to win it on the biggest stage of them all.
A pretty hilarious of Vince McMahon being immortalized on the Hollywood Walk of Fame aired. In case you’re wondering, he’s right next to Kermit the Frog.
Shawn Michaels is watching everything on TV. Ric Flair shows up and tells him to leave. Flair says he doesn’t need his help or his sympathy. He said he didn’t want to see Michaels until Wrestlemania.
JBL came out to the ring. He said it was St. Patty’s day and he was ready to do something for the Irish, who made him a lot of money. He said tonight, for Finlay, he’d be challenging the second toughest guy in Ireland, Colin Delany. Good lord this’ll be godly.
JBL v. Colin Delaney
JBL goaded Delaney to hit him and Colin obliged. JBL cold cocked him in short order and freaking killed him with a clubbing shot to the back. JBL hit his big boot and short clothesline. He hit a second on before taunting the youngster a bit.
JBL wound up and took Delaney’s head off with a clothesline from hell and that’s all she wrote.
Winner: JBL via pin fall
JBL said if Finlay thought he had a chance, he needed to listen to what his grandparents said to Finlay’s ancestors. They came to them looking for a job and a handout. JBL said the “Irish need not apply”.
Flair v. McMahon is next!
Ric Flair v. Vince McMahon
We get some old man ‘put up your dukes’ posing at first and then some nasty punches from both and McMahon even covers up like he’s in one. Flair knocks him out of the ring and now Flair’s all over McMahon on top of the announce table. Flair is just potato-ing Flair with right hands before dumping him over the guard rail and into the stands.
Flair shows off Vince for some fans and then whoops his ass back over the guardrail and back into the ring side area. Flair charged McMahon, but Vince avoided him and Flair cracked into the ring post. Vince is pissed and he’s setting up the ring table for something sinister. But no! He’s got the monitor and he takes it and smashes Flair right in the mug with it.
Flair’s bleeding. In other news, the sun came up today. Vince goes right at Flair and hammers away at his wound against the guard rail before tossing him in the ring for a two count. Vince reigned some more blows down on Flair’s face and yet again, gets a two count.
Vince figures this isn’t going to work so he’s going shopping underneath the ring. He pulls out the awesomely fake trash can and kills Flair with it for a WICKED close near fall. Vince smashes Flair’s face with his fists some more and went back to the outside to find more toys for tots.
McMahon grabbed a kendo stick and he’s got that masturbatory look on his face and starts cracking Flair in the back with it. Two more shots across Flair’s head but still, Flair refuses to go down.
McMahon goes out for a third time and he’s got the old, reliable steel chair. He PLOWED Flair’s head with a chair shot and went for the cover, but HBK popped up and pulled the official out of the ring. HBK got expelled to the back before we get a glimpse of Vince.
He’s going back to the outside for a fourth time. And he’s got a table. Vince went to gather Flair but got smashed in the nuts twice. Flair plopped Vince on the table and pounded his skull some. FLAIR ON THE TOP ROPE. That was the most gloriously awful splash ever, and Flair SHOULD HAVE an awful splash. Naitch wins.
Winner: Ric Flair via pin fall
Fantastic, fantastic match.
An awesome John Cena “Why I’m wrestling at Wrestlemania” video aired.
King is with Jared from Subway!? Jesus Christ. This show just can’t get better.
Candice & Maria v. Jillian Hall & Victoria
Jillian’s theme song f-ing kills me. It’s almost as awesome as.. Santino Marella on commentary.
Maria and Jillian are starting us off. Jillian hit a knee to the gut and her hand spring elbow before Victoria tagged in and began tossing Maria around like a pound of meat. Victoria went for her standing moonsault but Maria got the knees up. An enzeguiri later, Candice is tagged in and she’s cleaning everyone out.
Candice hit a great sit out slam and some wheel kicks. Her flurry kept it coming until Victoria caught her and laid her out with a back breaker. Jillian tagged in and went for the 450, but missed by a mile. Candice cleared out and hit the un-prettier. Wow, nice to see that dusted off.
Winners: Maria & Candice via pin fall
Santino poured beer on Lawler’s face before stealing his Subway sandwich. That calls for a match at Wrestlemania if I ever saw a reason, to, uh, have a match at Wrestlemania.
Mayweather has a video putting him over. Good stuff.
WWE Intercontinental Championship
Chris Jericho v. Big Show
Show quickly caught Jericho with a big boot and began working him over in the corner. He hit a knee to Jericho’s gut. Jericho hit a jaw breaker and knocked Show the the floor but got caught by Show and flung into the barricade.
Show went for a Vader bomb and missed clean. Jericho came firing back with some punches and managed to hit a code breaker, but it didn’t so much as phase Show. Jericho eventually got frustrated and grabbed his title belt and slammed it into the skull of Big Show to get himself DQ’d.
Winner: Big Show via DQ
After the match Big Show hit Jericho with his freaking mallet of a right hand. Jericho’s out.
Kim Kardashian showed up. She met Big Dick Johnson and apparently is our ‘host’ for Wrestlemania.
A Randy Orton kills the world video aired. Awesome.
Randy Orton’s in the back with John Cena. Cena said they’d whoop everyone tonight no matter how much it might hurt. Orton told him to hold up and said Triple H probably wanted them to get hurt, but they should just lay down and avoid getting hurt. Cena said that was actually a good idea. The two couldn’t agree on who’d take the loss. Cena then said they’d have to man up and there was no way he’d take a loss to help the guy that injured him, stole his title and kicked his father in the head. He said there only chance was to fight. Triple H showed up and reminded both that they had ‘no chance’.
John Cena & Randy Orton v. The Raw Roster
This is a hilarious spectacle. Snitsky starts the fun and kills Cena with a boot and a body slam before Santino tags himself in. Cena quickly rolled him up and that’s one down.
Murdoch tagged into the match and after some clubbering and a save from Orton, Cena was able to slap the STFU on and get him to submit. Cade didn’t like it and came in only to eat an RKO and he’s done.
Umaga came running in and hit a double clothesline on both Orton and Cena. He’s killing them as we got to commercial.
Over the break, Super Crazy was eliminated with an RKO.
JBL hammered Orton around and holy crap this rules. JBL tagged Duggan. Awesome. Cody tagged in and got some licks in before Burchall tagged in. Everyone’s getting shots in including Val Venis (whose being cheered by Snitsky), Carlito, Hardcore Holly, Robbie… Orton catches him with an inverted back breaker and tags Cena who comes swooping off the top rope with a leg drop for the pin.
Harry Smith ate an inverted power bomb and a five knuckle shuffle. Before you know it the rookie eats and FU and he’s gone. Orton pops up out of nowhere and hits an RKO. Val Venis and Birchall are down and these two are just having a field day. Orton-Cena teamwork and the crowd’s going.
The Raw roster jumped into the ring and now they’re beating down on the champion and the challenger. The wrestlers began beating Orton down before Cena retrieved a chair from ringside and began cleaning em out.
He didn’t see Umaga though who peppered him with an upper cut while JBL decapitated Orton with a clothesline from hell. JBL hit Umaga accidentally with the chair and it made Umaga mad enough to just spike Orton and chase JBL out of the arena.
As the ring cleared, Triple H’s music hit. He came down, hit dueling pedigrees on Cena and Orton, and posed with the belt.RAW THOUGHTSShow Thoughts-- Another really good step in the right direction tonight. In fact, this has been the strongest show this month by far.
I’m glad the WWE’s trying to make some sort of ’story’ out of this triple threat and is just going for the ’dream match’ build. All three have a very realistic shot at winning the title. They’ve more or less stopped with the whole one-upsmanship and just went for getting over WHY they’re there. Triple H is there because he’s wicked smart. Cena’s there because he’s got the desire. Orton’s there because he’s the best. Period.
The Raw v. Cena/Orton match was surprisingly good. Cena and Orton working together was weird but I’ll be damned if it wasn’t completely awesome. No one took a fall that shouldn’t have so most of the upper mid card guys looked good. Cena and Orton are just studs, period.
I was shocked that there was NOTHING about Money in the Bank this week.
Flair-McMahon is probably the best TV match I’ve seen outside of Hardy-Umaga from the first Raw of the new year. Great, great street fight. Lots of punching, Vince covering up like he’s in a real fight… they wasted no time and went right to the table, into the crowd, around the ringside area, etc. The transition with the ring post was done well (Flair losing his cool) and Vince’s stuff trying to pick and choose the various weapons was tons of fun. Enough interference so as to not really get whacky, but enough to add real drama. Flair with a nut grab and the greatest frog splash in the history of man through a table. Seriously, bow down.
In fact, ALL of the in ring stuff was really strong tonight. The JBL and Umaga squashes were great and helped the blow off to the main event tonight when it was the two of them with Cena and Orton. Punk-Carlito was shockingly decent and Show-Jericho was really good, too.
The segments were ok, too, especially the video package stuff. LOVED Santino stealing King’s sandwich and Big Dick Johnson getting turned down by Kim Kardashian was pretty fun stuff, too.
Overall, It was a really fun show with some really good TV wrestling. Definite step in the right direction tonight.
Overall Grade: B
CM Punk v. Carlito
Umaga def. London & Kendrick
JBL def. Colin Delaney
Ric Flair def. Vince McMahon
Maria & Candice def. Jillian Hall & Victoria
Big Show def. Chris Jericho
John Cena & Randy Orton v. The Raw Roster went to a no contest
Who’s Hot, Who’s Not?
1. Ric Flair
2. John Cena
3. Triple H
4. Shawn Michaels
1. Randy Orton
3. Big Show
Match of the Night: Ric Flair v. Vince McMahon ***1/4
Power Rankings5 Points= Title Win
4 Points= World Title defense/win
3 Points= Singles PPV Win
2 Points= Tag PPV Win
2 Points= TV Singles Win
1 Point= TV Tag Win
0 Points= Loss
WWE Champion: Randy Orton 4-4, 7pts. (Last Week: WWE Champion) -- To be honest, I can’t really complain with anything from Orton tonight. He and Cena looked like studs in there tonight, just out-smarted by Triple H. Nice to have some role establishment.
Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho 5-5, 12pts. (Last Week: 6)-- You know, I really liked Jericho’s performance tonight. Solid selling for Show’s offense and his flat back after the one shot from Show was pretty great. Decent night for Jericho.
1. Triple H 6-2, 10pts.(Last Week: 1) -- Triple H is walking tall and a little bit wiser tonight. Keeps him at #1 ahead of Cena.
2. John Cena 6-2, 8 points. (Last Week: 2) -- See Orton.
3. Shawn Michaels 8-2, 12pts. (Last Week: 3) -- Michaels has gotten a lot more ‘technical’ in the ring the past few months. I like the surly, grumpy old man he’s become.
4. Ric Flair 5-0, 10 points (Last Week: 6) -- Flair told HBK to f-off, Grabbed Vince in the balls and then jumped off a rope and did a frog splash. And he’s undefeated. That’s good enough to move him up in my book.
5. JBL 3-4, 6 points (Last Week: 7)-- So JBL brings a lot to the table. This week he brings in Colin Delaney and whips him like a baby steer.
6. Umaga 4-4, 8 points (Last Week: 8) -- I think it’s important to take your vitamins every day. Every week however, you need to watch Umaga squash someone. Chicken Soup for the Soul.
7. Ken Kennedy 5-4, 11pts. (Last Week: 5)-- Not in action.
8. Jeff Hardy 5-5, 9pts. (Last Week: 4)-- Suspended
9. Carlito 4-3, 7 pts. (Last Week: 9) -- Carlito would have fallen tonight, but no one behind him won squat, so he stays put. Still though, this guy COULD be something if he ever had anything resembling motivation.
10. Hardcore Holly 3-1, 3pts. (Last Week: 910-- Holly might have had the best moment of the main event when he clean kicked Orton in the chops.
Cody Rhodes 2-2, 2 points (Last Week: NR)
Paul Birchall 2-0, 4 points (Last Week: NR)
Jerry Lawler 0-0 points (Last Week: NR)
Lance Cade 0-3, 0 points (Last Week: NR)
Santino Marella 1-1, 1 point (Last Week: NR)
Paul London 0-2, 0 points(Last Week: NR)
Brian Kendrick, 0-5, 0 points (Last Week: NR)
Trevor Murdoch 0-4, 0 points (Last Week: NR)
Super Crazy 0-3, 0 points (Last Week: NR)
William Regal 0-2 0 points (Last Week: NR)
Ron Simmons 0-0, 0 points (Last Week: NR)
Harry Smith 0-1, 0 points (Last Week: NR)
Jim Duggan 0-0, 0 points (Last Week: NR)
Rory 0-2, 0 points (Last Week: NR)
Charlie Haas 0-1, 0 points (Last Week: NR)
Robbie 0-2, 0 points (Last Week: NR)
Mick Foley 1-0, 1 point (Last Week: NR)
Sgt. Slaughter 0-0. 0 pts. (Last Week: NR)
Val Venis 0-1 0pts. (Last Week: NR)
Snitsky 1-4, 2 points (Last Week: NR)