» On Thursday, January 1, 2004 at 11:19 PM EST Full WWE Smackdown Results
New Year's Day, 2004
Commentators: Michael Cole & Tazz
Reported by: Mike Siciliano of WrestleView.Com.
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EACH AND EVERYONE READING THIS COLUMN. To you and yours, from the maniac in blue and white, a happy and prosperous new year, and I hope we spend a chunk of it together every weekend reading about the WWE's Smackdown Brand.
Ok. Let's go to work.
Rey Mysterio defeated Tajiri to re-capture the WWE Cruiserweight championship.
Bradshaw defeated Rhyno.
John Cena & Chris Benoit defeated the F.B.I. in a 3 on 2 handicap match to gain entry to the Royal Rumble match.
The Big Show defeated Hardcore Holly by disqualification.
The self-proclaimed World's Greatest Tag Team defeated Los Guerreros.
Smackdown opened with a recap of Hardcore Holly's route to a WWE title shot vs. Brock Lesnar, specifically the tag team match two weeks ago with Shannon Moore against the A Train and Matt Morgan. It is then announced that the title shot for Hardcore will be January 25th in Philly at the Royal Rumble.
The WWE cruiserweight championship is the opening contest as Rey Mysterio, fresh from his victory over Jamie Noble two week's ago for the #1 contendership for the title, squares off against the champion Tajiri. Tajiri does not come to the ring alone, flanked on both sides by the "Henchmen", Akio & Sakoda.
The match was tremendous to watch. Tajiri and Mysterio countered and recountered almost every single move each competitor tried. A lot of mat wrestling dominated the first part of the match prior to the commercial break. Mysterio reversed Tajiri's trademark handspring elbow with a short drop kick to the back, and followed it up with a senton over the top rope to the floor as Smackdown went to black.
A 619 attempt by the masked man was blocked by Akio and Sakoda, Akio interferes to take out the referee, and Sakoda literally catches Mysterio in midair, to use Cole's words, "intercepts" Mysterio like a football. Tajiri begins the use of the educated feet all over Mysterio's body, kicking him from pillar to post all across the ring. Some minor attempts at reversals occurred for some time until Tajiri got Mysterio in the tree of woe, and drop kicked him right in the knee. Mysterio buckled and jolted from the sheer execution of that move.
Rey was able to counter the tarantula as well with a rollup into another small drop kick, and then two more 2 count pinfalls occurred, off a rana and a bulldog by the challenger. Mysterio tried a west coast pop, and got caught in a half crab, selling a knee injury very convincingly. Mysterio gets out of the submission maneuver, tries his hands at a high cross body off the top, but the henchmen get involved again, and Tajiri hits a running sit out powerbomb that looked to be the end for Mysterio, but he kicked out at two. Tajiri tries for another powerbomb, but Rey counters it into a succesful 619. He tries again for the drop of the dime, but gets a kick to the head for his efforts. Akio grabs Mysterio for Tajiri to hit the mist, but Mysterio ducks, taking out Akio. Sakoda gets up on the other side of the ring, but takes a Tajiri handspring elbow from Mysterio for his trouble. Then a standing hurricanrana by Mysterio for a very exciting three count, and we have a new cruiserweight champion.
Michael Cole comes to the ring, and Mysterio cuts a happy new year promo for the fans. As soon as he is completed, the music of the United States Champion sounds and out comes the Big Show. He totally ignores Rey and begins to promote his new tee shirt. Rey gets mad, steals the shirt out of Show's hands, and throws it in to the crowd. Mysterio proceeds to get beaten by Show until Hardcore Holly comes out, drop kicks Show in the back, sets up the big man for a perfect 619, and then the cruiserweight title holder, and the #1 contender for the WWE title leave the ring as Show is seen in the ring, seething.
Show is in the back, destroying anything in his way. Heyman tries to pacify Show by giving him Hardcore Holly later tonight. Show takes out another monitor, and then walks away.
The rubber match of the trilogy between Bradshaw and Rhyno is next. Promos are shown and credit is given to Bradshaw as a catalyst for last week's Christmas from Baghdad show, and then highlights are also shown from two week's ago when Rhyno demanded a countout victory against Bradshaw, but ended up fighting Faarooq, only to lose by the use of a low blow.
This match was awful. No fan involvement. No major spots to describe whatsoever. Rhyno got some minor offense in, zero spots to note at this time. Bradshaw got his last call, predictably as all hell, and wins with a sloppy clothesline from hell.
Eariler today, the Guerreros participated in a low rider parade in the town of Laredo, Texas.
A recap of the events from last week's Christmas from Baghdad show is discussed, and the montage to Creed's song, "Weathered", is shown.
Heyman comes out afterwards, and begins to describe how much of an honor it was for him to perform last week. Cena stops him, and says he wasn't even there, and questions Heyman's manhood. Heyman gets angry, and tells Cena that he needs to earn his way to the Royal Rumble, by finding a partner and winning the 3 on 2 handicap match with the FBI. Heyman also put the stip on the line that if Cena and his partner lost, they both would not be allowed to enter the rumble. That match is next.
The FBI are in the ring, and Cena comes out, alone. He cuts a freestyle that is too raunchy to even attempt to describe in this column, and then heads for the ring, seemingly to take on the FBI alone. Benoit then comes out, to Cena's surprise, and says because he has nothing to lose, he'll go with Cena tonight and make the FBI tap, in a wolverine's attempt at a freestyle rhyme. Cena gets beat up pretty extensively by the numbers game of the FBI in the beginning of the contest until he is able to get Benoit in following a modified powerbomb on Palumbo. Benoit hits the triple german, one for each member of the FBI, and then hits the flying headbutt on the Bull for a 2. Stamboli then gets caught in the sharpshooter, but Benoit gets wacked by Palumbo's sabot kick. 2 count. Cena was with the referee at the other side of the ring. Benoit manages to recover and get Nunzio eliminated, Stamboli in the crossface, and Cena F-Us Chuckie P, tap out, Cena & Benoit are in the Royal Rumble Match.
Kurt Angle is shown during his stay in the middle east recently, and he is promo'ed to return to Smackdown, next.
A tape is shown of the line to gain access to the Camp Victory arena from last week's Baghdad show. Continued credit is given to the armed forces.
Kurt Angle comes out for his first appearance since his most recent injury. Calling it a 'well-deserved break to be with his family', he talks about the men and women fighting overseas, and the sacrifices they make. He says he wants to fight for his country, but he can't. He is not a soldier, he is a wrestler. But he is dedicating his fight upcoming to the soldiers from the middle east, as he enters officially the Royal Rumble match, proclaiming he will win it for the first time in his career.
A promo is shown for Hardcore Holly vs. the Big Show, coming up next.
Show comes out, FUMING, throws the US title to the referee, and gets ready for yet another non-title contest vs. Hardcore Holly. Holly comes out, and is used as a paddle ball initially by the Show, palming his entire body like an oversized basketball. It is basically a squash for the bulk of the matchup with Show concentrating on Holly's surgically repaired neck. Show claims he's gonna break Holly's neck and locks in a full nelson. Mysterio comes out with a chair, hits the top rope, tries to clock the Show, but Show proceeds to punch the chair, effectively taking out the new cruiserweight champion. Holly is then set up for the chokeslam which he counters by punting the Big Show to Dallas right between his legs. Disqualification. Holly then picks up the chair and absolutely cold cocks Show right in the center of his forehead, splitting him open like rotted fruit. 2 more shots, and Holly and Mysterio leave, leaving Show bloody, and even more angry.
A promo is shown, Billy Gunn, Mr. Ass, returns at the royal rumble. Dawn asks Paul Heyman why she doesn't have the cover of the new Smackdown magazine. Heyman tells Dawn to take a walk, as Benoit comes in laughing. Benoit says he outmaneuvered Heyman and proclaims himself the next WWE champion. Heyman says people like him in management are there to stop grunts like Benoit, and proclaims Benoit the 1st entrant in to the Rumble. Benoit grabs Heyman's hand, nearly breaks it, and screams at Heyman that he will never break the Wolverine's will.
Mysterio is celebrating his title victory in the locker room with some other SD superstars when the Guerreros hit the area. Eddie is celebrating with Rey, and out loud thinks of a possibility of him entering the Rumble. Chavo politely asks to speak to Eddie, and chastises him again for being selfish and not thinking of the tag team, but thinking of himself first. They leave, tension apparent, for their tag team match coming up.
The tag team match is now, with the Guerreros out in a lowrider, WITH CHAVO DRIVING. The WGTT follows suit, and the match is on. This match was a fast paced match to call, and difficult to try and explain blow by blow. But, it is safe to say for people who have seen this rivalry blossom, that the spots expected all took place during this contest. Chavo though began to show signs of not wanting to get Eddie involved in the contest, nearly getting himself pinned for being selfish. Eddie pulls one of the lyin', cheatin' and stealin' classics out, gets Chavo near the corner, and tags in, clearing house, and setting up Haas for the frog splash. Chavo tags in himself, and goes for the frog splash, to Eddie's dismay. He takes way too much time, Haas puts his knees up, and Benjamin sabot kicks Chavo in to the middle of next week for the three count.
Eddie checks on Chavo, but he pulls away and blames Eddie for the loss, because he is selfish. He is sick of the no Chavo chants from the crowd, and he claims he is sick of Eddie entirely. Chavo then slaps Eddie in the face. Eddie is disappointed slightly, but then his latino temper begins to boil, and before things get to blows, Angle comes out, and holds Eddie back, allowing Chavo to leave, alone.
Eddie is livid backstage talking with Angle, but Angle tries to tell Eddie that he thinks Chavo is right, that he is the problem with the Guerrero tag team, and that if he were to look in the mirror, he would see the problems that is plaguing his family at this time. Eddie gets more pissed off, saying who was Angle to get involved in family business. Eddie claims Angle wasn't family, Angle re-claims that Chavo is correct about the problems with the Guerreros, and the segment cuts back to Cole & Tazz.
The announcers talk about the difficulties between Eddie and Chavo, summarizing the segment, wish everyone a Happy New Year, and Smackdown #1 for 2004 goes to black.
BLUE & WHITE NUGGETS, KIMOSABE.
I'll do my housekeeping stuff at the end. Let's talk business first. Couple of things to touch on.
1. Big Show. CAN WE PLEASE HAVE THIS GUY DEFEND THE DAMN US TITLE SOMEWHERE? He has been fighting guys that legitimately deserve shots at the title, and not giving up the chances for it. What is the WWE trying to do, put the US title in just as much obscurity as the IC title was when Rob Van Dam held it?
2. No Vince. A positive, to say the least. No need for him. The show had enough ebb and flow that the need for the master manipulator was not evident in any facet, and the fact that he wasn't there made it a fresher effect for the show.
3. Bradshaw vs. Rhyno. I think I figured out why Vince went in during that house show at the Nassau Coliseum when Rhyno was facing Tajiri. Can you say SNORE FEST? I mean, I personally love the APA, and Bradshaw, but Rhyno is lost. He seemingly has no focus, no drive, no goal, and I feel that the presumed roster cuts that seem to be en route shortly, the Detroit, Michigan man-beast is in deep trouble for his position within the WWE.
4. Mysterio vs. Tajiri. A classic to open the new year. An absolute classic from pillar to post. Not a thing could be said to diminish the quality of this match. MILK IT. THERE IS SO MUCH TALENT OUT THERE IN THE CRUISERWEIGHT DIVISION, or just make these two guys go ballistic against each other. How about Tajiri and the henchmen against Rey, Kidman, and Dragon? I would pay to see that, wouldn't you guys?
5. Christmas in Baghdad. I believe the WWE did everything right in that regard, and the effect seemingly will linger for some time. I would hope that they will release the events of the WWE visiting the troops in some form of home video for people to get a further view from a 'slice of americana' perspective in to the war. I believe it was a positive from all angles made, but I am ready to move on from it. Let's keep progressing forward, ladies and gentlemen.
6. Tonight's ending of the show. LAME, LAME, LAME, LAME!!!!! Can someone tell me how lame it is to be ending the show with Cole and Tazz talking? I love Tazz as a color man, but let's have some action to end the show, end it on a high or a low, or something like that, not with a snooze with Cole, Mr. Shrill, yelling happy new year to everybody. I thought Ross's voice was bad when he loses it, but Cole needs to lose his, permanently.
7. Heyman has settled in nicely to his role as General Manager. However, would you agree that an antagonist would be beneficial to work with Heyman as a babyface power broker? Like Austin is to Bischoff, what sort of help does the faces have when the management wants to screw them? I mean Benoit's situation seemingly has resolved itself, but come on, with him being #1 in the rumble, the chances of him going to Mania for the title shot is slim, and that needs to happen, for the WWE's sake. Speaking of the WWE title...
8. Hardcore Holly is a talent. I applaud his intensity, longevity, and perserverence. However, the WWE is making a sad mistake giving the title shot at the Royal Rumble to Hardcore Holly. Holly has no chance. If for some reason he wins, he will be villified by the entire wrestling world for not being in the same class as Lesnar, and if Lesnar wins, he'll be chastised for beating someone in the lower eschelon of competitors for the title. Holly should get the shot on a Smackdown, involve another superstar in that match, and then make the match at the Rumble a triple threat or something to that nature. I only hope that perhaps, with all the returning talent such as Billy Gunn coming back, that the other returning talent comes up from below and interjects himself in that title match, because without his interference, that title match could be one of the worst in PPV history.
9. Didn't VKM say something about some roster tweaking? I think it was something to go down after Wrestlemania, but there is some tweaking that could go down now. With Rey winning the title back, I think Hurricane needs to come to Smackdown and get in to a program with Rey for the cruiserweight strap. In the process, you could reassign talents such as..well, unfortunately I can't come up with some names at the moment, but that could be a good topic for the forum. Who would you tweak the rosters with to provide some freshness to both brands? I throw that question to the masses, and I want to see what bounces back.
10. Another question for the masses to end my column. January 24th, I got the opportunity, if I play my cards right, to meet four superstars who are doing autograph signings near my home. I want to know who out of these guys would you meet. I got my own preferences, but I'm dying to know if you were in my shoes, who would you go see? The four superstars that are coming to my area for signings on January 24th are Miss Jackie & Rob Van Dam, Rey Mysterio, and John Cena. I got my own answers to this question, but I am really curious.
Ok. Let's finish this up. Be sure to check out the chatroom each week with my boy Farmer and the rest of the cronies. I'll make pit stops there periodically if my schedule allows.
Also, if ya want to talk to me about anything and everything, please do not hesistate to drop the dime. Here is my email address. [email protected]
Lastly, FEEDBACK IS BACK! Let's do this thing in the forums. You ready? Here we go. Click here to talk about Smackdown in the forums!
Ok. A new year. New start. New topics. New chaos. New Kimosabes. New Sumos. Nah.