» On Thursday, January 8, 2004 at 11:49 PM EST Full WWE SmackDown Results
January 8th, 2004
Commentators: Michael Cole & Tazz
Reported by: Mike Siciliano of WrestleView.Com.
Smackdown opens with a recap from last week's episode in the ongoing saga of the eventual breakup of Los Guerreros. Involved in that sequence of events last week was Kurt Angle, who tried to act as peacemaker, claiming to Eddie that Chavo was right in his accusations.
A promo involving a rematch for the main event tonight, demanded by the US Champion, as the Big Show takes out Alabama's own Hardcore Holly in a street fight.
The Olympic Champion, Kurt Angle enters the ring, and explains how he had a bitter taste in his mouth from last week's events, and calls out Chavo Guerrero to try and mend the fences between what he called one of the greatest tag teams in history. Angle thought Chavo crossed the line, but, even still, he should put the past behind him, publicly apologize to Eddie, and reform the tag team anew. Chavo says he wouldn't apologize to Eddie, that he showed tough love to his uncle. Chavo also claims he is seriously thinking of hitting Eddie harder if Eddie was in the ring at this moment. He also says he wants to slap Angle for interfering in family business. Angle tells Chavo he didn't call him out here for a fight, but for an opportunity to do the right thing. Latino Heat then hits the rampway and comes to the ring, his temper seemingly boiling.
Angle asks the Guerreros who is going to be the better man and extend the hand of apology to bury the hatchet? Chavo does, and after a long time of coaxing, Eddie accepts. Angle raises both hands of the Guerreros as the segment switches to the backstage area, where Josh Mathews is interviewing the US Champion.
Highlights are shown from last week's match with the Big Show and Hardcore Holly, when Holly busted Show open with a steel chair to the skull. Josh asks Show why he wants the streetfight. Show says because Holly made him bleed last week, he is going to take Holly out this week.
3 on 1 Mini Royal Rumble
Chris Benoit vs. the Full Blooded Italians
Heyman comes out following Benoit's introduction, and claims that Benoit should be proud of putting one over on the Smackdown General Manager. Because of the events of last week, Heyman is going to test Benoit with a mini royal rumble vs. the 3 members of the FBI. Except, in this case, it's not every man for himself, it's every man vs. the Rabid Wolverine.
Benoit takes on the Bull in the first segment, and throughout a 2 minute segment of back and forth action, temporarily disables him with the sharpshooter as Chuck Palumbo hits the ring. Benoit, after a brief exchange with Palumbo, suplexes the Bull on the top rope, with Stamboli landing on the apron. Then, through simple momentum of trying to execute a running shoulder block on Palumbo, Stamboli is knocked from the apron and eliminated.
Palumbo and Benoit continue, with Benoit countering a slam in to the crippler crossface, getting his 2nd tap out of the match, disabling Palumbo briefly when Nunzio hits the ring. Nunzio ducks out of the way, with Palumbo back in the mix, a 2 on 1 briefly gets involved, with Benoit being launched off the top turnbuckle with his skull. Palumbo is whipped to the ropes afterwards in an encounter with Benoit, and Nunzio gets eliminated trying to save Palumbo from going over the top rope.
Palumbo gets Benoit in a powerbomb position, which Benoit counters in to a hurricanrana. Benoit gets up to avoid a sabot kick, and hook Palumbo up to suplex him over the top rope and get the victory, putting yet another one over on the Smackdown General Manager.
Winner: Chris Benoit
A promo of the tag team title contest is next, with the Basham Brothers taking on Rikishi & Scotty Too Hotty.
for the WWE Tag Team Championship
The Basham Brothers w/ Shaniqua vs. Rikishi & Scotty Too Hotty
The Kish and the Worm hit the ring, confident with the non title victory in their pocket over the tag team champions. Shaniqua comes out with the titles, and the champions ambush the challengers from behind, and beat them mercilessly, hitting the Ball & Gag on Rikishi, two belt shots on both individuals, eventually taking them out of the equation for a title shot at this time.
Kurt Angle hits the stage, saying hell froze over, Heyman and him had come to an agreement. A tag title match is going to take place, and it's going to happen next, as the Bashams defend the gold against Los Guerreros.
Los Guerreros take advantage of the Bashams over the first portion of the match, with 2 near falls by Chavo, Eddie clobbering both individuals, and the Bashams got nearly no offense involved in the first portion of this contest, until, Shaniqua pulled down the top rope as Eddie ran in her direction, eventually falling over the top rope and to the floor.
The Bashams play tremendous isolation tactics on Eddie Guerrero, beating him mercilessly for a tremendous amount of time, focusing on the lower back of Latino Heat. The Bashams hit a Tully Blanchard expertise like double slingshot suplex on Eddie, and stops Eddie from taggging Chavo in on multiple occasions. The crowd tries to get the Guerreros in to the match by even chanting for Chavo, Chavo, Chavo.
Eddie gets a near fall countering a slam with a rollup, but still gets clobbered by the Bashams, and Shaniqua, who chokes Eddie on the ropes while the referee is out of position. A powerbomb on Latino Heat forces Chavo in to the ring to save his uncle from a surefire pinfall.
Chavo finally gets the tag off a drop kick by Eddie Guerrero, putting both the tag team champions on the defensive. Chavo gets a near fall off a high cross body on the top rope on Doug, but Danny gets the save. Danny then eliminates Eddie, sets up for the ball & gag on Chavo, but Eddie saves Chavo, the Guerreros throw both Bashams out of the ring, and hit with double hilos on the outside.
Chavo gets whipped to the ropes back in the ring, goes for a sunset flip, and gets pinned by the champions with a hookup from Shaniqua holding the ropes.
Winners and Still WWE Tag Team Champions:The Basham Brothers
Eddie gets double teamed after the match, suffering a double flapjack and double boston crab by the tag team champions. Chavo goes for a steel chair, looking furious, and then sits down and watches Uncle Eddie get destroyed by the Basham Brothers.
Once the Bashams leave, Chavo enters the ring. Eddie uses Chavo to crawl to his feet, only to get hit with a straight right hand to the eye, busting Latino Heat wide open. Chavo then mounts Eddie and pounds him in the face and head for about the next 2 to 3 minutes, absolutely going nuts. He ends the abuse with a stiff kick to Eddie's skull, and then leaves in the lowrider.
During the break, Chavo is seen in the lowrider leaving the arena entirely. Cole & Tazz are trying to rationalize what Chavo had done to his flesh & blood.
A Train vs. John Cena
The Boston native is in the ring waiting for the Doctor. Cena hits the ramp, claims he's gonna FU Chewbacca, and pretty much does it in quick fashion, with no major highlights in the match to note. Train gets zero of his trademark moves in, Cena hits an impressive combo of a double axe off the top rope followed by his knuckle shuffle to Train's head, setting him up for the quick FU and the decisive victory.
Winner: John Cena
Eddie Guerrero is in the back, receiving medical attention. Kurt Angle is with him, trying to reconcile for butting in to family business. He tries to apologize to Eddie for what had transpired over the past two weeks, and his unnecessary involvement in family business. Eddie says nothing, his temper obviously boiling well past the point of no return.
Highlights of last week's emotional cruiserweight title victory for Rey Mysteri over Tajiri is shown.
Akio w/ Sakoda vs. Rey Mysterio (NON-TITLE)
Akio begins the match by grounding Mysterio and getting some pretty impressive mat wrestling moves executed. Mysterio eventually begins to hit the air following an attempted slide to the head on Rey while he was in the tree of woe by Akio. Akio missed, began singing soprano, and Rey began taking over. Mysterio hit a springboard cross body off the 2nd rope for a two count, a tornado ddt for another 2 count, and then, following a botched attempt of interference by Sakoda, a double 619 on both of Tajiri's henchmen. Mysterio then hit a clean West Coast Pop for the three count, and takes off before Sakoda can attack him after the match.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
A promo for Billy Gunn, the Best of Billy Gunn countdown. For the next 3 weeks, we will see the top 3 moments in Billy's career. This week's moment, #3, the 1st tag title victory for Mr. Ass as a member of the Smoking Gunns, defeating the 1-2-3 Kid and Bob 'Sparky Plugg' Holly.
Hardcore Holly, in an interview with Josh Mathews, tells Big Show not to play someone /*'s game, especially in their own hometown. Holly says he is going to show Big Show what an Alabama ass whipping is all about.
Heyman is in the back with Nidia, who is on the phone looking for Jamie Noble, who is allegedly nowhere to be found. Heyman, after a choice action that I found offensive, tells Nidia that if Noble doesn't show, she will have to replace him in the #1 contendership match for the Cruiserweight title against Tajiri, next.
for the #1 contender's slot at the cruiserweight title, and a shot at the champion at the Royal Rumble
Tajiri vs. Jamie Noble
Tajiri comes out, visibly upset after his loss last week, making gestures about the belt. Noble's music hits, but Nidia comes out, being led to the ring by Heyman. Heyman puts Nidia in the ring, takes her cane, and forces her in to a match with a smiling Tajiri. Tajiri proceeds to firemen carry Nidia all over the ring, and win the match quickly with a russian leg sweep. A total squash.
Winner and #1 contender for the cruiserweight title: Tajiri
Tajiri gets set for the kick to the head on Nidia, but Mysterio comes out and saves Nidia. Nidia and Rey struggle to leave the ring, and get to the beginning of the rampway when Noble shows up. Noble shoves Rey out of the way, checks on Nidia, and then cold cocks Rey in the head, leaving him laying on the floor at ringside.
A promo for the streetfight is next.
Non Title - Street Fight Rules
Big Show vs. Hardcore Holly
The return from surgeries of the WWE champion occurs now, as Lesnar hits the commentators booth for his expert analysis on this match. Big Show comes out with the chair that Holly used to bust him open last week. Holly comes out, and the match is on, even before Holly hits the ring. Holly gets hit with a broom upside his head by the Show, yet manages to get most of the offense in on the larger, slower opponent. Holly, in the midst of the match, with Show temporarily disabled, attacks Lesnar at the announce table. Lesnar shows no defense, and cries about being attacked, but Show pulls Holly off, and the fight continues. Holly eventually gets the upper hand with shooting mace in Show's face, hitting him with a low blow, and then a chair shot to the skull. Holly tried a full nelson on the Show, to show a message to the champion, but was unsuccessful in that attempt. Holly wins the match by taking the Show's head, sticking it inside the chair, literally, and chokes out the US Champion.
WINNER: Hardcore Holly
Holly then jawjacks with Lesnar after the match, Lesnar shows some bravado, but then when Holly runs after Lesnar with a chair, Lesnar flees through the crowd. Smackdown goes off the air with Holly on the announce table, celebrating with a steel chair in hand.
HOW TO REPLY TO A SHOW LIKE THIS.
I just finished the two hour bathroom break, oh wait, it was a wrestling show.
This show sucked. I mean, you could not have put together a worse show if you tried. Let's go down the line, and see where I think things went wrong for this particular episode of Smackdown.
First off, who died and made Kurt Angle into Jimmy Swaggert? Now he's trying to stop family differences? I mean, come on, should we take away the gold medals and put on pastoral robes? Let the two idiots fight, they've been teasing this breakup forever, let them kick the crap out of each other, please.
Can someone tell me where Benoit is going with this feud with Heyman? I mean, are they going to re bury Chris Benoit like they did before because of one match with Lesnar that was so entertaining that it made the pussy, I mean, champion, wince? Benoit is getting so royally screwed by this #1 entrant thing in the rumble it's not funny, and these attempted squashes are not funny, they're just sad. It's sad to see a tag team of the FBIs caliber be reduced to Heyman's flunkies. They should be challenging, and winning tag team gold from the idiots that hold the belts, but I'll get there in a minute.
What is the problem with the Bashams facing Scotty and Rikishi? Not for nothing, since they've been back, Scotty and Rikishi, they have not been used, and the only time they were used, they beat the damn champions. Now, they gotta put them out, only to have the Guerreros come in, and finally implode in front of the world. When will we see someone /* challenge for tag gold, and take it away from the emotionless, drab, dank, desolate champions, and the amazon that I cannot wait to see get her ass kicked at the first available opportunity?
Ok. Chavo split Eddie open. Now, next week, put them together, and let them kill each other, or, in the interim, let both Guerreros get a shot at the martyr, Kurt. Angle oughta worry about his damn neck, and stay out of other people's business, especially when a good fight is being missed by stupid talking.
A Train vs. John Cena. Freaking yawn. When the hell is Cena going to get his push to the main event level?? How many times do we have to see Cena pick up this hairy knish looking bald eagle and FU him to kingdom come? It wasn't even entertaining to watch. Cena's rap was the only bright spot to that whole segment, again.
Mysterio being the cruiserweight champion is the right move, and I cannot nail him for anything wrong, because his matches are always innovative, and entertaining. I don't have an opinion on Akio and Sakoda yet, except to say they both can use an identity, quick. They have no niche on this show, yet.
I guess finally they're breaking up Jamie Noble and Nidia. Fine. I can accept that. Make it quicker than the Guerrero breakup, and let's give Nidia her sight back, please? It's boring, and useless to see an alleged blind woman get carried by a sick Japanese buzzsaw, and have that be a precursor to a rematch for the cruiserweight title? Where's Kidman? Where's Dragon? Where's Spanky? Where's London? Where's half the damn talent on the roster?
Brock Lesnar needs to get out of this mode of being such a lame selfish bastard. He needs to get back to being a Goldberg like machine, take people apart, and say little to nothing about it. This whining, crying, carrying on bull is annoying, tiresome, and boring. Nobody needs it. Period. I hope, if there is a God, that Holly clocks Lesnar at the rumble as hard as he clocked Show last week.
The ONLY BRIGHT SPOT ON THE SHOW came at the end when we saw that big mammoth elephant get choked out by a steel chair. Now, question. How many people are going to hold non title victories over the US champion before he actually defends that damn title? Cena's got a win in Baghdad, now Holly's got one. What's next, a triple threat for the US title?? Hrm. A thought, no?
Ok. One last thing, Cole and Tazz seemed to be fighting a lot during this show tonight, the brief moments that I listened to them. If Smackdown is going to bring in a 'heel' announcer ala Jonathan Coachman to the mix, I may seriously have to throw up. Broadcasters are just that, broadcasters, and with the acception of Lawler, Tazz, Snow, and DeMott, who have been in the wars, should remain just that, Broadcasters. Enough of trying to sway the announcing of the show to a baby face or heel characteristic. Just call the damn thing down the middle, and let's get it over with.
WWE needs to step it up, this show was down right horrible. This show was so bad, it doesn't even deserve a catch phrase send off at the end of it's report. Instead of Kimosabe, Sumo, it should read, Kimosabe, talent? It was that pathetic. What do you think of this show? Did you see it? What's your thoughts on what I have to say about it? Drop me an line via email at [email protected]
And, lastly, of course, feedback at the forums. Let's talk there, I really hope you got some venom to spew after I released all this tension. Here we go..
Spew your venom about Smackdown at the forums by clicking here.