» On Friday, May 28, 2004 at 3:36 AM EST Full WWE SmackDown Results
May 27th, 2004
Commentators: Michael Cole & Tazz
Report by: Mike Siciliano of WrestleView.com
CENA WINS, BRADSHAW #1 CONTENDER, EDDIE COMPETES, OR DOES HE?
Millwaukee's Smackdown opened with a new rivalry match between Bubba Ray and D'von Dudley versus Rey Mysterio & Rob Van Dam. The match was a back and forth affair until the commercial break, when Paul Heyman walked through the crowd and tok refuse in the front row for the remainder of the match.
D'Von and Bubba turned up the intensity 10 fold with Heyman in the front office. The Dudleys win the contest, and end up getting yet another 'pep talk' from their former manager. "Either make an impact against someone tonight, or I will find someone /* to make that impact, on you," was the exact quote from the maniacal manipulator.
The "impact" of the Dudley Boys was felt indeed later on in the show as D'Von and Bubba Ray are seen in the back beating on an individual and stuffing this person in to a trunk. Bubba Ray is heard yelling, "Last Ride, Paul!" Everyone thought that the 'Paul' they were referring to was Paul Heyman. Yet, after the Dudleys drove off, a camera focused and found an urn, and Paul Heyman picking up that urn. Apparently, the Dudley Boys had abducted Paul Bearerrr, What this does for next week's contest in Toronto for the Undertaker, we can only say stay tuned to Smackdown to find out.
General Manager Kurt Angle has put Eddie Guerrero, the WWE champion, in yet another corner. He has 'proclaimed' John Bradshaw Layfield the #1 contender for the WWE title at the Great American Bash, and as well, allowed Bradshaw the opportunity to make a stipulation for hte contest at the neophyte pay per view. Bradshaw proclaimed that Eddie Guerrero has been lying throughout his entire injury and phyiscal health problems, and that at the Bash, he will lay physical claim on what he thinks belongs to him, the WWE title belt.
Booker T. has a date with destiny, the Judgment Day rematch with the Undertaker next week in Toronto. He had a warm up match this week in Millwaukee with Scotty Too Hotty. Booker came out the victor with the axekick on Scotty, after only minimal offensive capability by the Worm. Booker then challenges the Undertaker, saying he will shock the world and defeat him. 'Taker tries to intimidate Booker by shooting lightning, hitting the four ring posts. Booker doesn't move, says he's gonna shock the world, next week.
At the beginning of the show, GM Mr. Angle forced WWE Champion Eddie Guerrero into competition this week on Smackdown. The match was the champion against Danny Basham. It doesn't last more than two minutes before Angle pops up and accuses Eddie of a plot to sue Angle for unsafe working conditions. Angle ends up suspending Guerrero indefinitely until Eddie signs a release form that takes the medical onus off the Smackdown General Manager. Eddie seems unthrilled.
Two more promos of the newest Smackdown superstars shows that Mordecai has already found or 'chosen' his first sinner to 'fall' during his one man crusade to rid the world of 'sinners.' The other promo involved the new Bronze Warrior, Kenzo Suzuki, and his path of rage that is shortly set to begin in the WWE Smackdown brand.
Cruiserweight mixed tag team action was also available on Smackdown as Spike Dudley teamed with Torrie Wilson to take on the newly formed team of Jamie Noble and Dawn Marie. Spike won the matchup with the Dudley Dog on Noble, while LANDING on Dawn Marie. Spike's prize, a kiss from Torrie. Nice!
Promos for next week's Smackdown involve Booker T. vs. the Undertaker, Bradshaw nanimg the stipulation for the WWE title match at the Great American Bash, and a bikini contest that features the return of Sable.
Chavo Guerrero, Sr. or Chavo Classic, the new WWE cruiserweight champion put the title on the line against Akio, claiming the cruiserweight division was going 'old school.' It seemingly was a handpicked opponent of Chavo Classic, as Akio still was suffering the lingering effects of the onslaught. However, it still took a tornado DDT on the floor from Chavo, Jr. for Classic to retain the title.
WWE tag team champions Charlie Haas and Rico are in the back watching Miss Jackie try on bikinis for next week's contest. Rico models a bathing suit for Charlie as well, and he gave Rico a 'constructive criticism' about how he looked. Haas looked like he had just seen a ghost.
Angle was vehemently pissed off with Cena after Cena apparently went to the Board of Directors and had them approve the pay per view, Great American Bash, be free to any and every member of the military services. Angle wants to see Cena lose his title, and will be at ringside for the lumberjack match. Cena remains confident, but leaves without another word.
The main event, the first lumberjack match in four years on Smackdown, for the US title between the french phenom, Rene DuPree, and the champion, John Cena, was a hard hitting, intense contest that almost saw the entire Smackdown locker room begin to brawl on the outside as they tried to 'protect' their charge in the contest. Cena got the better of DuPree on this night with an FU literally almost out of nowhere, and picked up the 3 count victory. Smackdown went off the air to half the locker room 'sticking it' to the General Manager.
The Dudley Boyz defeated Rob Van Dam & Rey Mysterio.
Booker T. defeated Scotty Too Hotty.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Danny Basham never officially got underway.
Torrie Wilson & Spike Dudley defeated Jamie Noble & Dawn Marie.
Chavo Classic defeated Akio to retain the WWE Cruiserweight Championship.
John Cena defeated Renee Dupree in a Lumberjack match to retain the WWE United States Championship.
COMMENTS, QUESTIONS, AND PEANT BUTTERY TOFFEE
I have to be honest with everyone, recapping this show has become a chore. It is so mishy-mashy that I can't get into any angle that they're portraying whatsoever. Even the Cena main event, and I love Cena, is not doing anything for my adrenaline pickup. Raw last week was TREMENDOUS. I thought it was one of the best shows I had seen WWE put together in so long it was unbelievable, the controlled chaos of the entire night, not knowing what was going to happen next, it was electric to watch, and to prove that I mean that, I WATCHED THE REPLAY ON TAPE THREE TIMES BEFORE TAPING OVER IT. I have not done that with a Smackdown show since I don't remember when. If I love a show, I'll watch it so many freakin' times I'll end up memorizing the lines on the show to the extent of driving my wife nuts. Just ask her anytime the movie Hunt for Red October comes on. I can recite that word for word, I'm that obsessive about stuff like this.
But, this product WWE has been portraying for us on the Smackdown side has been nothing short of hideous. Nothing for anyone to sink their teeth into, no chaos, no mayhem, no heart-stopping, edge-of-your-seat excitement. I think that's what they're trying to get out of Paul Heyman and the Dudley Boys, but until I see someone come around the Smackdown locker room taking out everybody like I saw HHH and HBK take out EVERYBODY and ANYBODY last week on Raw, Smackdown continues to work like it's the minor leagues of WWE.
Bradshaw continues to annoy me. He now consistently whines about winning at Judgment Day by DQ and how Eddie should hand him the belt. It makes me absolutely want to throw up. Bradshaw is not a heel, he's a crybaby. Study Ted DiBiase. He did this angle and made it something special.
I don't see John Cena losing the US title anytime soon because I don't know who's prepared to take it. DuPree is, by no means, a worthy candidate of the title. A feud with the champion, fine, but not the title. Cena's growth continues by leaps and bounds, and he will be the next WWE champion, but it's just time consuming to find a worthwhile adversary to take over the reins as United States title holder.
The Great American Bash is going to have the same problem Judgment Day had because there was no buildup for any of the contests. It looks to be the same time of set up for the Bash, picked opponents, and predictable results.
I am falling asleep writing this, so let me go for now and say good night and see you next week. I hope. KIMOSABE, SUMO!