Impact opens up this week with highlights from last week focusing on the Jeff Hardy-RVD title match and Flair’s turn on Fortune plus AJ’s challenge to him.
Cutting to the arena Mr. Anderson’s music hits and the former TNA Champion makes his way out to the ring with a chair in hand. Anderson puts the chair down in the middle of the ring and he sits down in it. He says that he doesn’t care who’s calling the shots in TNA now, whether it’s Eric Bischoff, Hulk Hogan, Dixie Carter, or the network because he’s calling them right now. Anderson says in his contract it states he gets a rematch so he’ll sit in the middle of the ring until he gets it if that’s what it takes. He says he doesn’t understand why Spike doesn’t like him and asks if it’s because he’s an “asshole.” He says he hears they don’t like that word so he repeats it over and over. Anderson says if that’s the case, Rob Van Dam isn’t exactly a law abiding citizen. RVD’s music then interrupts him.
RVD comes out to the ring and grabs a microphone. RVD says he wants to make sure what Anderson just said and asks about the laws of morality. He says what about the code of ethics and honor that should have made Anderson do his job and stay out of the way while RVD got his title back. RVD says he understands that Anderson had huge plans in TNA and some of those would never come to fruition once RVD joined the roster. RVD says that bums Anderson out because he knows deep down inside who the better wrestler is. That’s why Anderson wants RVD nowhere near the belt. RVD says Anderson is a force with the microphone in his hand “but the Whole F’N Show” he is not. RVD says if he has the chance to screw Anderson over the way Anderson screwed him over he won’t hesitate. Anderson says he was supposed to get that title shot and he doesn’t care if RVD doesn’t like him or if he thinks he’s a better wrestler than Anderson, and he doesn’t care if RVD has a little Chinese in him (play on the “chink eyed” saying when people are high I’m guessing). Anderson says all he cares about is getting what is rightfully his, a rematch for the TNA Title. Anderson says before they both do something they both regret…but RVD punches him in the mouth! RVD and Anderson brawl in the ring until security runs out and breaks them apart.
Immortal’s music hits and Eric Bischoff leads them out onto the ramp. Bischoff asks what is going on in the ring and it looks like to him possibly a Main Event. Bischoff says he was going to give Anderson his rematch and then RVD & Anderson start fighting again as Bischoff tells them to settle down. He says he was going to give Anderson his rematch until he saw the enthusiasm in Anderson tonight so instead of the rematch, we’ll see Anderson vs. RVD tonight! Jeff Jarrett whispers something to Bischoff and he says that’s a great idea. Bischoff says the Network wants ratings so he can’t think of a better idea. Instead it will be Anderson vs. RVD vs. KURT ANGLE in a 3-Way Dance!
In the back Scott Steiner picks up one of Storm’s beers and says he’s getting beer muscles, the whole time Eric Young is standing behind him posing. Steiner asks him what the hell he’s doing and Young says he’s been working out and starts posing. Steiner tells him looks terrible and screams at him to get out. Steiner tells him to go find his girlfriend (Orlando Jordan).
Jeff Jarrett and Karen Angel are looking at wedding dresses for Karen. Karen doesn’t like the dresses.
In the back the cameraman approaches Angle and asks him how he feels about the Jarrett segments. Angle says it was only a matter of time before the world saw Karen & Jeff for who they truly are but as far as giving Karen away on 3rd, he couldn’t give her away quick enough. He says he’ll give them a wedding they’ll never forget, and as far as the match goes tonight no disrespect to RVD & Anderson but he’s not in a good a mood.
Gunner & Murphy vs. “Showtime” Eric Young & Orlando Jordan
Beer Money come out to the announce table before the match gets started. Roode says Storm has “had a couple” beers. Murphy and Young start the match off. Murphy goes after Young but Young ducks and Murphy stumbles down onto his knees right into Jordan’s crotch. Jordan starts grinding his crotch into Murphy’s face and then Young rolls him up! 1..2….NO Murphy kicks out! Gunner tags in and hits the ropes as Young starts hitting the ropes on the opposite side and both men start criss crossing the ropes several times before Gunner finally gets tired and stops and then Jordan slaps him on the ass. Young whips Gunner into the ropes again and then leapfrogs him and tries to Criss Cross the ropes again. This time Gunner catches himself and then shoves Jordan on the apron. Gunner taunts Jordan and Murphy attacks Young from behind. Gunner lays Young out and tags Murphy back in. Murphy puts Young in a chinlock and then covers him for a nearfall. Murphy locks in a Rear Chinlock again but Young fights to his feet and tries to break the hold with elbows but eats a knee. Murphy tosses Young into the corner and then tags Gunner back in. Gunner nails Young with a Forearm Smash and gets another nearfall. Gunner follows up with a Back Suplex but Young lands on his feet and connects with a Jawbreaker. Gunner stumbles into his corner Murphy tags himself in. Murphy goes for a clothesline but Young ducks and connects with a series of strikes and a Spinning Forearm. Young takes off his shorts and he has his old Team Canada tights on. Gunner clotheslines Young from the outside and then Murphy clotheslines Jordan as he comes into the ring to attack him. Murphy tags Gunner back in and then he lifts Young up into the air and Gunner comes off the top with a Flying Elbow Drop at the same time! 1…2…3.
Winners: Gunner & Murphy via pinfall (Flying Elbow Drop/Sidewalk Slam combo)
After the match Gunner & Murphy point up to Beer Money and Beer Money talks trash to them on commentary saying they’ll get their shot next week.
In the back Angelina Love tries to talk Velvet out of putting her career on the line against Sarita. Velvet asks Angelina what she would do in her situation but Angelina says she WAS in Velvet’s position last year but she wasn’t in the ring with Sarita either. Angelina says Sarita is crazy and now she has her little cousin too. Angelina says she’ll cheat and do anything to win and Velvet says she needs to be alone.
Devon comes out to the ring as we come back from commercial. Devon says he wants to come out tonight and make an apology to his sons, Terrence & Terrell. He says a father’s worse dream is when he can’t protect his own kids, and he couldn’t protect his kids at Against All Odds when Bubba put his son through a table and kicking the other son in the face. Devon says those kids called Bubba their “uncle” and they loved him. He says he should have been there for his kids but he wasn’t. He promises that it won’t go unanswered but Bubba cuts it him off. He’s on the big screen and he calls Devon a weak piece of crap. Bubba has some kid on the ground and is kicking him. Bubba asks Devon how his kids are doing and he says Devon let them down calling him a “sorry excuse for a father.” Bubba says so Devon never understands what he did to Devon’s kids he’s going to put one of Devon’s “brothers” (you opening a can of worms with that comment Bubba) through a table right now. Bubba says “oh my brother mother f’ing testify” and then sets up for a Powerbomb through the table, but Tommy Dreamer shows up behind Bubba and attacks him!
Dreamer beats Bully Ray out into the Impact Zone where Devon swings a chair at him, but Ray avoids it and runs away as security gets between Devon and Ray. Devon swings wildly and nails Dreamer in the face! Dreamer is down and Devon can’t believe he just hit him. He thought he was swinging at security.
In the back Rayne says she’s sick of people saying she couldn’t beat Mickie without Tara’s help so she tells Tara to stay in the back regardless of who accepts her challenge. As Madison walks off Tara shakes her head.
“Moments Ago” AJ said the message he wants to send to Ric Flair is that he isn’t taking a backseat to anyone not even Ric Flair. He says he won’t stand in anyone’s second not another second. He says he steps out of Flair’s shadow tonight and takes care of business the only way AJ can, inside the squared circle.
Magnus vs. Crimson
This is Crimson’s in-ring debut on Impact and Magnus’ first match back in quite some time on Impact. Looks like he’s about to be fed to Crimson though. This guy is mammoth. Magnus grabs a microphone and says that he and Magnus are alike in a lot of ways. He says Crimson is ambitious and impressive, not quite as he is. He says Crimson has an impressive physique those he’s no “Mag Daddy” but he still looks good. Crimson says where they’re different is he isn’t carrying Kurt Angle’s bags around like Crimson is. Crimson answers by clotheslining the hell out of him. Crimson hits a Shortarm Back Elbow and then a big T-Bone Suplex! Crimson follows up with a Cravate and then some knees followed by a Neckbreaker. Magnus rolls to the apron but Crimson grabs him by the air only to get snapped over the top rope by Magnus. Magnus then hits a Big Boot followed by an attempt at his new finisher, the MDD (Mag Daddy Driver), but Crimson blocks it and then lifts Magnus up into the Red Alert (Spinning Cradle Flatliner)! 1…2…3!
Winner: Crimson via pinfall (Red Alert)
In the back RVD says he’s going to get Anderson back for hitting him with the Mic Check but he’s focusing on getting a shot at his title again.
Rob Terry is walking towards the ring.
Rob Terry comes out to the ring wearing some shorty shorts and carrying some dumbbells. Terry says he doesn’t know who Steiner thinks he is, but he is the future. He says he’ll prove that he’s the best built man in the history of wrestling. He says he’s the real “genetic freak” of TNA. Steiner’s music hits and he comes out to the ring dressed in a suit.
Steiner says the best thing that could have happened to Terry is that Steiner comes to the ring in a good mood, but when Terry calls himself the genetic freak he just pissed him off. Steiner says there is only one Genetic Freak and it’s Steiner. Steiner says since Terry has been sucking on his momma’s “t*t” he’s been the genetic freak. He tells Terry to come up with something original and something of his own. Steiner says he has a name for Terry, “Chernobyl” because when he looks at Terry he sees a couple of vitamins away from a chemical disaster. Steiner says the difference between him and Terry is over the last 20 years he EARNED the nickname, Terry’s punk ass comes from bodybuilding trying to make it in his world trying to take his name. Steiner says that won’t happen and asks if Terry thought he was about to come out to the ring in some Speedos all oiled up like a “Chip & Dale” and asks Terry if he’s out of his freaking mind. Steiner says he’ll go the back and get his wrestling gear on and if Terry is still out there he’ll kick his ass. Steiner leaves and Terry says that’s typical of an American, to run with his tail between his legs when he sees someone stronger, bigger, and smarter. The fans chant “USA” and Steiner gets back into the ring and takes off his coat and then Terry attacks him with the dumbbell! Terry nails him with a clothesline and then chokes him with something choking Steiner out. Finally security runs out and pulls Terry off.
In the back Velvet walks into the locker room where Winter is doing her hair. Velvet starts to leave but Winter stops and says it’s time to let bygones be bygones. Winter says she hears people talking and doubting Velvet’s abilities but she’s not one of them. Winter says she would like to see Velvet go out to the ring and prove herself like the time she and Angelina won the Tag Team Championships. Velvet says that’s enough and when she’s done with Sarita she’s coming for Winter’s ass. As Velvet walks away Winter smiles.
The Jarrett’s are at a church now, these segments are so damn awful. The preacher questions what the hell is wrong with them, me too father, me too. The preacher says “this is Blasphemy” but Jarrett says “no it’s not, it’s non-denominational”. I think I died right there.
Ric Flair makes his way out to the ring dressed in a suit, not wrestling gear. Flair says it’s hard to be humble when you are the Nature Boy and GOD! Flair looks at a girl in the crowd and says he might take her home for a ride on Space Mountain. The fans chant at him but Flair says he knows his name. Flair says before he slides out of his custom made Armani and puts on his wrestling gear, he wants AJ Styles to come out to the ring right now. Flair says he saw AJ all day but AJ avoided him and that don’t work for GOD. Flair tells AJ he’ll give him one more chance to come out to the ring, get on his knees, and apologize to GOD. AJ’s music hits and the Phenomenal One makes his way out to the ring, and he IS dressed in his gear.
Flair says now AJ is all choked up and has nothing to say now that he’s in the ring with GOD! AJ says he was avoiding Flair today because every fiber in his body wanting to beat the piss out of Flair and peel his head like an onion. He says he wouldn’t let Flair get to him because then Flair wins. AJ says he knows that’s the game and how it’s played. Flair says the game is when Nature Boy is not in town Fortune don’t move. AJ says there was a reason they didn’t tell Flair what they were planning and that reason is because Flair would have tried to stop it from happening. Flair says he would’ve stopped them because he was trying to take them on a path of greatness, and very few people get to walk that path. He says he tried to teach AJ how to be a man and about being a champion but now he’ll teach him about respect and then slaps the hell out of AJ! AJ attacks Flair and beats the hell out of him until HERNANDEZ comes out of nowhere and jumps AJ! Hernandez slams AJ into the corner and then Biel Throws him across the ring! Hernandez checks on Flair and then charges at AJ, but AJ backdrops Hernandez over the top down to the floor! AJ then jumps back on Flair like stink on sh*t! AJ beats the hell out of Flair until Hernandez again grabs AJ and slams him down to the mat and then holds AJ as Flair swings a shoe at AJ, but AJ mule kicks Hernandez in the nuts and then low blows Flair! AJ then nails Hernandez with the Pele knocking him out of the ring! AJ rips Flair’s pants as Flair tries to get away and then he slams Flair into the guardrail as they roll out to the floor! Flair is busted open now. Flair rolls back into the ring and AJ continues to beat the hell out of him and again Hernandez comes in and kicks AJ out of the ring. Hernandez picks AJ up and Press Slams him onto the ring apron! Flair screams at Hernandez to toss him back in the ring. Hernandez starts to get back in the ring but AJ dropkicks him and then hits a Slingshot Plancha onto Hernandez on the floor! AJ stares at Flair and Flair begs him off! AJ grabs Flair and rips his pants off and then rips his shirt off. Flair begs AJ to stop but then AJ grabs him and sets up for Styles Clash but again Hernandez attacks him and this time hits a VICIOUS Shoulder Block. Hernandez and Flair take turns beating on AJ now. Finally Beer Money & Kazarian run out to chase Hernandez & Flair off. Matt Morgan attacks Hernandez from behind now! Morgan beats Hernandez into the crowd and goes apesh*t on him! Morgan beats Hernandez all the way to the back slamming him into walls. Morgan tells him that they’re not done.
In the ring Fortune hold up the Fortune symbol in the ring.
In the back Anderson says he’s focused on getting past the BS that Bischoff has been feeding him the last several months, and he’ll overcome it. He says he doesn’t care about anybody else right now, all he cares about right now is the one thing he’s in Wrestling for: the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.
Madison Rayne comes out for her Special Challenge which is now Non-Title. Madison gets on the mic and says that everytime TNA Management has given her an opponent she has taken great pleasure in knocking them out from Angelina Love to Velvet Sky to Mickie James. She mocked Mickie’s country accent as she said her name. Madison says she’s getting bored beating everyone which is why she issued the Open Challenge to any woman willing to come into the Queens Court. She says her first challenger is waiting in the back. Her challenger is…former Knockouts Champion: ODB!
Non-Title Open Challenge
Madison Rayne vs. ODB
ODB gets a pretty nice pop. I thought I read that she was retiring? ODB jumps Madison as she gets in the ring and drinks from her flask! ODB follows up with a Scoop Slam and then slams Madison into the corner and lights her up with a chop! ODB follows up with another chop as it looks like ODB’s got some new tattoos. ODB stomps on Madison and then goes for the Carpet Muncher (Bronco Buster), but Madison rolls out of the ring to avoid it. Madison mocks ODB and then starts beating on ODB and pulling her hair. Madison does the Head Scissors Pushups and ODB’s wipes her mouth (awesome). ODB goes for a clothesline but Madison ducks and then hits a Backstabber! Madison taunts the crowd again and then goes for the Headscissors Pushups again but ODB blocks it only to get her hair pulled by Madison. Madison taunts ODB and ODB kicks her in the head and then ODB starts slapping herself to try and get back up. ODB punches Madison and then follows up with a big right hand. ODB hits a few more right hands and then a Running Shoulder Block followed by another one. ODB hits a third one and then she hits the Fall Away Slam! ODB nips up to her feet and then she hits the Carpet Muncher! ODB follows up with the TKO attempt, but Madison blocks it with several stiff knees to the face. Madison then follows up with the Rayne Drop! 1…2…3!
Winner: Rayne via pinfall (Rayne Drop)
In the back Velvet says she’s tired of people talking sh*t to her and she wants this documenting and tells the cameraman to follow her into Sarita’s locker room. Rosita gets in Velvet’s face but Sarita holds her back as Velvet says this has nothing to do with her. Sarita asks if Velvet came to wave the white flag but Velvet says the opposite, she accepts Sarita’s challenge! Velvet says one-on-one without Rosita. Sarita says she’s impressed with her and because of that she gives Sarita’s word that she won’t pull any tricks and it will be a straight up wrestling match. They shake hands and Velvet walks off. Sarita and Rosita bust out laughing as Velvet walks off. Sarita says she’ll screw Velvet so hard she’ll have trouble walking (dirty thoughts, dirty thoughts, dirty thoughts).
Matt Morgan says he just “dealt” with Hernandez and he says Hernandez knows what the Title means to him which is why he screwed him in that match. Morgan says Hernandez took his dream away from him. Morgan says on March 3rd he’ll give Hernandez a North Carolina Ass Whooping. He says payback is a motherf*cker.
Another Jarrett segment runs with Jarrett doing a tux fitting. He talks about Angle having a big fat head. Jarrett tells Karen that her “princess mode” is annoying the sh*t out of him, yeah you and me both Jeff.
A vignette airs running the showdown between J-Woww and Cookie a few months ago. Why did you have to remind me? The Shore then announce that “Angelina” from The Jersey Shore will be on Impact next week to call out J-Woww. I have no idea who that is.
Anderson, RVD, & Angle make their way out to the ring for the Main Event which will be after the break.
“Whole F’N Show” Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Anderson vs. “Olympic Hero” Kurt Angle
All three men circle each other and then Angle goes after his former foe, Anderson. Angle & RVD double team Anderson in the early going. They take turns punching and kicking Anderson and then they both whip Anderson into the ropes and Double Backdrop him. Angle and RVD Double Vertical Suplex Anderson now. RVD hits Anderson with a series of Shoulder Blocks in the corner and then Angle goes for a Running Shoulder Block, but Anderson moves out of the way and Angle hits the ring post hard and crashes down to the floor. RVD whips Anderson into the opposite corner and then hits a Rolling Monkey Flip. RVD follows up with a Running Spinning Heel Kick in the corner. Angle comes back in and clotheslines Anderson but then eats a clothesline from RVD. RVD then hits a Rolling Thunder on Angle as Anderson rolls out of the ring. Anderson comes back in and stomps on RVD. Anderson attempts to whip RVD into the ropes but RVD reverses it and goes for a clothesline. Anderson catches RVD’s arm and counters into a Swinging Neckbreaker. 1…2…NO Angle breaks it up! Angle follows up with a Snap Suplex and then Angle beats on Anderson in the corner. Angle attempts to whip Anderson into the opposite corner but Anderson reverses it. Anderson charges at Angle but he gets his boot up and then clotheslines Anderson. Anderson rolls out of the ring and RVD comes in. RVD and Angle stand face-to-face and then they lockup. Angle gets RVD in a side headlock but RVD shoves Angle into the ropes only to eat a big shoulder block from Angle. Angle hits the ropes and Anderson pulls the top rope down causing Angle to go flying over the top down to the floor. Anderson charges back into the ring but eats a Spinning Heel Kick from RVD. RVD follows up with a Corkscrew Leg Drop for a two count. RVD then hits Anderson with a forearm and then whips him into the ropes where Angle trips him and then drags him down to the floor. Angle & Anderson trade punches on the floor and RVD comes from out of nowhere with a Slingshot Somersault Plancha onto both men!
Back from commercials Angle whips RVD into the ropes and then goes for a Backdrop, but RVD backflips over him and connects with a Spinning Heel Kick! RVD then attempts another Rolling Monkey Flip, but Angle blocks it and puts RVD up on the top rope. RVD kicks Angle away and then sets up for a top rope move but gets tangled up in the ropes for a split second before connecting with the Springboard Flying Back Kick. RVD follows up with a Standing Moonsault, 1…2…NO Angle kicks out! RVD whips Angle into the ropes and goes for a backdrop but Angle stops and kicks RVD. Angle then charges at RVD but RVD backdrops him over the top rope down the floor! Anderson comes back in and attacks RVD from behind. Anderson hits a Back Suplex on RVD and then he follows up with a Knee Drop for a nearfall of his own. Anderson puts RVD in a Keylock and then he transitions into an Armlock on the other arm. RVD fights to his feet and breaks the hold with punches only to get cut off by Anderson. Anderson tries to throw RVD into the corner but RVD blocks it with his foot and then kicks Anderson in the face! RVD follows up with the Springboard Flying Back Kick! Angle rolls back into the ring and clotheslines both RVD & Anderson repeatedly. Angle whips RVD into the corner and charges but RVD gets his boot up only to eat a Belly-to-Belly Overhead Suplex from Angle! Angle then hits the Rolling German Suplexes on Anderson! He connects with 3 and then he ducks a clothesline from RVD and hits a 4th German on RVD! Angle grabs Anderson and hits the Angle Slam! Angle is on fire as he pulls the straps down but he turns around right into a Superkick from RVD! RVD springs to the top but Angle quickly leaps up and hits a Belly-to-Belly Superplex that sends RVD all the way out to the floor! Anderson grabs Angle as he gets up and attempts to the Mic Check, but Angle blocks it with back elbows and connects with a NASTY T-Bone Suplex! Angle grabs Anderson’s ankle and goes for the Ankle Lock but wedding music starts playing and Jeff Jarrett & Karen Jarrett walk out distracting Angle. Angle stares at them as they start kissing. Anderson grabs Angle, turns him around, and hits the Mic Check! 1…2…3!
Winner: Anderson via pinfall (Mic Check)
Mike Tenay & Taz hype the March 3rd show from the announce table and they formally announce that New York Jets Linebacker, Bart Scott, will be in attendance. They hype up the card and then they cut to a video package.
It’s a dark package that has rain coming down as someone walks up some stairs and then we see 3.3.11 come on the screen before it shows the person. This is a complete spoof of the 2.2.11 thing WWE just did with The Undertaker. If you haven’t figured out who that is hyping, think really hard (you really don’t have to think too hard).
Pretty decent show tonight with some really good wrestling (Main Event) and some solid segments (AJ/Flair and the opener). Some real stinkers too.
The opening segment was really well done with everyone but the crowd sounded flat.
The tag match was just there to get Gunner & Murphy over, it wasn’t horrible but I don’t find anything positive about that team at all. I could have done without Jordan humping a guys head too.
The 3D angle was done pretty well as well and the Dreamer involvement makes sense. The crowd was actually pretty hot for that angle.
Crimson/Magnus was a squash match but Crimson looked really good. That guy is very physically impressive, but we need to see more from him.
The Posedown was pretty bad but at least Steiner was funny.
All the stuff with Velvet was pretty good, I loved Sarita & Rosita’s reactions.
ODB/Madison was a fun match and the crowd was really hot for ODB. I hope its more than a one-time thing but if it just a one-time thing it worked. It gave Madison a quality clean win over a former champion.
The Flair/AJ angle was done well with AJ looking strong taking on both Flair & Hernandez. Fortune should have jumped in a little early though.
All the Jarrett vignettes were AWFUL and The Jersey Shore thing is stupid. I don’t even know who she is.
The Main Event was really good, best TV Main Event for TNA in some time. The finish was done perfectly as well putting more heat on the wedding. All 3 men worked well together.
The video package at the end was obviously a take on the Taker 2.21.11 thing where EVERYONE thought it was Sting coming in. Pretty much TNA’s “F-U” to the WWE.
See you guys next week as Impact is on the road from Fayetteville, North Carolina!
– Promo/Segment of the Night: AJ/Flair
– Match of the Night: 3-Way (***1/2)
– Overall Grade: B
Scheduled for Next Week:
– Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan
– Open Challenge: Madison Rayne vs. TBA
– TNA Tag Team Titles: Beer Money (c) vs. Gunner & Murphy
– Angelina from The Jersey Shore & Jets Linebacker Bart Scott will be appearing live
– Plus, the Vows Renewal of Jeff Jarrett & Karen Angle
– Dixie Carter & Hulk Hogan return with the verdict from their court case
Victory Road Lineup: