Before Impact, is there anyway else that I can than to say… ROLL TIDE! Shout out to all my fellow Crimson Tide faithful out there! ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!!
Impact Wrestling opens up with highlights from last week and then in the Impact Zone Sting’s music hits and the “Icon” makes his way down to the ring alongside Samoa Joe & Kurt Angle. Sting’s wearing old school crow Sting facepaint except one side of his face has red paint instead of black. Sting says that he told the world he was coming back on 1-3-13 but that was just the beginning because he’s just getting started. This Sunday at Genesis he’s looking for DOC! He says tonight he’s feeling a little bit frisky and he didn’t come by himself. He says that he brought his friend “big, black bat” and his friends “shooter” (Angle) and “killer” (Joe). He says that Aces & Eights have now been “cordially invited to come get some!”
Samoa Joe says that last week when the cage door closed Aces & Eights may have had him outmanned but they learned they didn’t have him outdone. He says that tonight he’s putting them on notice and what stands before them now is an “inevitability.” He says that when they get in the ring and face up to him he’s going to beat them down and choke them out! Angle says in 2013 he made a promise that all of the masks are coming off and they’re going to expose Aces & Eights as the cowards they really are. He says tonight he wants to expose someone else, a man that last week stood at ringside and did nothing while Sting and Joe were fighting off Aces & Eights. Angle says all he wants to know is where he stands so he tells Mr. Anderson to get out to the ring and explain which side he’s on.
Mr. Anderson comes down to ringside and asks where they were a few months ago when he was getting his teeth getting kicked in by Aces & Eights. Anderson asks if anyone came to his rescue and then says he was coming to the ring to stand shoulder to shoulder with Sting which is what makes it ironic that Sting just left him back there. He says that not only did he leave him but he replaced him right away with Bully Ray. Anderson says that he doesn’t know what their problem is and Angle says he doesn’t have a problem and says Anderson is either with them or they’re going to fight. A “fight” chant breaks out and Anderson climbs in the ring! Anderson gets in Angle’s face and says he doesn’t have to answer to him and he always never did like Angle anyway. Angle says the feeling is mutual and decks him! Angle beats the hell out of Anderson until he bails out of the ring and stares at Angle as Angle screams at him! Angle screams that it isn’t over.
The announcers talk about what just went down and the card for tonight featuring Austin Aries & Bobby Roode against Jeff Hardy & James Storm, and the return of Gut Check with two new stars.
The first new wrestler is Jay Bradley and a vignette airs for him. He talks about coming from Chicago and it being a “working class city” and that’s how he is. He talks about watching some of the guys he came into the business with getting breaks and becoming big stars. Bradley says it’s his time.
Brooke Hogan in the back says she’s going to talk to her dad and once again air their dirty laundry out in the public.
X-Division Tournament Semifinals
Kenny King vs. Zema Ion
Winner of this match faces Christian York in the Tournament Finals at Genesis, and the winner of that one faces RVD for the X-Division Title that same night. King and Zema lockup and King forces Zema into the corner and lays into him with knees and kicks. King attempts to whip Zema into the opposite corner but Zema reverses it and charges at King. King backdrops Zema over the top but he lands on the apron only to eat a Cartwheel Kick from King knocking him off the apron! King dives over the top with a Corkscrew Plancha but Zema moves and King lands on his feet! Zema quickly slides back in the ring and dives over the top with a Somersault Plancha onto King on the floor! Zema tosses King back in the ring and then slingshots himself back into the ring and ducks a clothesline from King and then bounces back off the rope but King lifts him up into the air and Hotshots him across the top rope! King then hits a Spinning Heel Kick and covers for a nearfall. King hits a Snap Suplex and then rolls through into a mount followed by right hands and a nearfall. King lifts Zema up onto his shoulders but Zema fights him off and goes for a German Suplex. King backs Zema into the corner and nails him with a stiff back elbow. King then attempts to whip Zema into the opposite corner but Zema reverses it and charges at King. King moves and Zema goes through the ropes and catches himself on the apron kicking the camera man in the process. King goes for a Spinning Roundhouse but Zema ducks and then nails King with a Jawbreaker onto the top rope! Zema then hits the Slingshot Tornado DDT! 1…2…NO King kicks out! Zema argues with the referee allowing King to regroup and grab Zema for the Royal Flush! Zema counters into an inside cradle! 1…2…NO King kicks out! King swings at Zema but he ducks and Zema goes for the Hostile Makeover but he actually slams King almost on his head by accident! GOOD LORD! 1…2…NO King kicks out! Zema climbs up top and attempts the 450 Splash but King rolls out of the way and hits a Running Dropkick that sends Zema into the corner! King hits the Royal Flush for the pin!
Winner: King via pinfall (Royal Flush)
King grabs the microphone after the match and says he wants to let everyone know that come Sunday Christy Hemme will be announcing him as the “NEW X-Division Champion!”
In the back Robbie E bitches about The Jersey Shore getting canceled and that Jesse & Tara have challenged him to a Mixed Tag Team Match tonight. It’s revealed he’s talking to Miss Tessmacher but she says that Robbie disgusts her (which Robbie responds by saying “WHY DOES EVERY GIRL SAY THAT TO ME?!”) and she would never team with him. She calls him an idiot but he says that he’ll do anything if she’ll team with him. Tessmacher says she’ll do it if she can team with a “winner” and slaps Bigger Rob on the chest and walks away. Robbie E freaks out with a loud “BROOOOO!” and a look of disgust.
Joseph Park is shown arriving at the building and says he’s been waiting for this opportunity and he wants to thank his partners at Park, Park, & Park for allowing him to put his legal practices on hiatus while he pursues this. Park says when he meets with Hogan tonight it will be as a wrestler, not an attorney. Park then walks into the door and says “the doors locked.”
Mixed Tag Team Match
Tara & Jesse vs. Robbie T & Miss Tessmacher w/Robbie E
Jesse jumps Robbie at the bell but it doesn’t have much effect on the big man. Robbie knocks Jesse down and then hits a Hip Toss and then a big Scoop Slam! Jesse rolls to his corner and tags Tara in which means Tessmacher has to come in. Tessmacher hits a series of clotheslines and then a Running Forearm! Tessmacher whips Tara into the corner and hits the Diving Facebuster! Tessmacher hits the Ass-tastic in the corner and then Tara tags Jesse back in. Terry grabs Jesse by the throat and tosses him into the corner! Robbie hits a VICIOUS Powerbomb! 1…2…3!
Winners: Robbie T & Tessmacher via pinfall (Powerbomb)
After the match Robbie E tries to raise Robbie T’s arm in victory but the music causes Robbie T to start dancing and Tessmacher and her amazing backside joins in. Robbie even kisses her and Robbie E is in shock.
A vignette hyping up the other Gut Check participant, California’s Brian Cage. He talks about getting an opportunity before (he was signed by WWE in FCW a couple of years ago) but it didn’t work out and he says all his friends ask him now what he’s going to do now since that didn’t work out. He says that they don’t understand that there is nothing else for him because wrestling is his life. He says he proves that to everyone tonight and he’s going to make sure that contract damn sure goes to him tonight.
Bradley & Cage are shown warming up backstage.
Gut Check Challenge
Brian Cage vs. Jay Bradley
I’ve been told by people to watch out for Bradley who is a big guy that’s said to be really powerful. Cage on the other hand I have seen a lot of, he works for PWG as well as California based Lucha Libre promotion Pro Wrestling Revolution where he is the Jr. Heavyweight Champion. Cage is actually built more like that “look” in wrestling despite being a smaller guy. They lockup and Bradley forces Cage into the corner and then shoves him. They lockup again and this time Bradley gets Cage in a waistlock, but Cage reverses into a hammerlock. Bradley reverses back and takes Bradley down with a Gutwrench Slam. Bradley transitions into a front facelock and then into a rollup for just a one count. Bradley then gets Cage right back into a front facelock but Cage reverses into a rollup of his own for a nearfall. Bradley gets back to his feet and decks Cage with a big right hand but Cage answers with a big Forearm! They begin exchanging forearms and European Uppercuts in the center of the ring and then Bradley hits a vicious forearm and a knee. Bradley hits the ropes but Cage quickly catches him with a European Uppercut! Cage goes for a Spinning Clothesline but Bradley avoids it and then kicks him in the face. Bradley hits a Running Mafia Kick and then puts the boots to Cage! Bradley elbows Cage and then a big Scoop Slam! Bradley hits a Knee Drop and then goes for the Lariat, but Cage catches him with a dropkick that sends him out to the apron! Cage climbs up onto the ropes and then Superplexes Bradley back into the ring! Cage climbs up top and dives off with a Flying Elbow Drop! 1…2…NO Bradley kicks out! Cage really has the crowd behind him as he attempts a Spinning Clothesline, but Bradley ducks and hits the Boom Stick (Lariat)! 1…2…3!
Winner: Bradley via pinfall (Boom Stick)
Aces & Eights are hanging out with some ladies in the clubhouse but Anderson interrupts them and says he loves having a good time but this “ain’t it” and says something has to be done about Angle. The VP says he’s right but tonight is not about personal business it’s about club business. He tells them to take it to the table and they walk into the other room. VP says the first order of business tonight is Mike Knox and reminds him that they said no one was to lose their mask. Knox tries to defend himself but the VP says he doesn’t want to hear it. He says that when DOC lost his mask he EARNED his spot back at the table and tonight Knox will get that same chance. He says that either he will make it right or he’ll be gone.
Park is shown in the back and he says he’s going to the ring to talk to Hogan.
Park is in the ring and he says he’s back from “wrestling camp and thankfully in one piece.” He “respectfully requests” Hogan come out to the ring to meet with him. Hogan congratulates him on his “short stint” in wrestling school but they have a lot of things going on right now. Parks says that he knows Hogan has a lot of pressing matters but he just wants to thank Hogan for giving him the motivation to getting trained professionally. Park thanks Danny Davis & OVW and he says that he realizes that he’s concerned a “green hornet” (yes he said that) in this thing but he’s begging Hogan to give him a chance. Park says he’s not standing here as a lawyer, he’s standing her as a wrestler. Hogan says it took him two years getting his brains beat out in Japan before he was ready, Park isn’t ready. Park says he has done everything Hogan asked him to do and he wants a match with one of the Aces! Hogan says he can have whatever he wants just leave him alone.
Brooke Hogan appears on the big screen and says since Hogan won’t answer her phone calls she’s going to do this in public and says she’s coming to the ring now.
Brooke Hogan comes down to the ring and says Hulk has never avoided her like this her whole life. She says that she has a question for him and how he answers it is going to determine their relationship for a very long time. Brooke asks Hulk if he’s going to reinstate “Mark” or if he’s going to keep this up like a personal vendetta. Hulk says the answer is “NO” he’s not going to reinstate Bully Ray. Hulk leaves Brooke in the ring and she makes a horrible attempt at looking sad or frustrated.
In the back Austin Aries and Bobby Roode compares each other’s TNA t-shirts. Aries says his is better because it has 2-sides and Roode’s is better because it’s more durable and he asks where Aries’ was made “at Baby Gap?” Aries says Roode’s is more durable, at least more durable than Hogan’s and Roode asks why Hogan’s shirts always “rip like that?” They then start arguing again but Aries says they can agree on one thing, that they both deserve to be champion more than Hardy or Storm. Roode reminds Aries that he is a “fluke” but Aries says they’re “like a dream team…a wet dream team!” They agree to work together but then start arguing yet again.
A video package hyping up the 3-Way for Genesis airs.
“The IT Factor” Bobby Roode & “A-Double” Austin Aries vs. “Charismatic Enigma” Jeff Hardy & “Cowboy” James Storm
Hardy and Aries will start this one off and Roode gets Hardy in a side headlock and then he transitions into a hammerlock and back to a side headlock. Hardy shoves Roode into the ropes but eats a shoulder block from Roode. Roode hits the ropes but Hardy catches him with a Hip Toss and then a shoulder block off the ropes. Hardy taunts Roode so Roode tags Aries in. Aries gets Hardy with a trip and then he mounts Hardy and shows Hardy up before putting him in a Front Facelock. Hardy forces Aries into the corner and then attempts to whip him into the corner but Aries reverses it. Hardy floats up into a Spinning Head Scissors Takeover on a charging Aries and then hits an Atomic Drop! Roode comes in and eats an Atomic Drop as well! Storm tags in and they whip Roode into the ropes and connect with a Double Clothesline. They then whip Aries into the corner and Hardy whips Storm into a Flying Clothesline and then Storm drops down to his knees and Hardy dives off his back with Poetry In Motion! That causes Aries to crash through the ropes where his legs get hung up in the ropes where he hangs upside down. Roode gets pissed and starts pretty much cutting a promo on Aries as he hangs upside down.
Back from the break Hardy is beating on Roode in the corner. Hardy attempts to whip Roode into the opposite corner but Roode reverses it and then charges at Hardy. Hardy catches him with a back elbow and then springs to the top, but Aries grabs his boot. Hardy kicks Aries off causing him to slam into the guardrail as Tenay says that Storm said that he and Hardy told Tenay earlier that they planned to dominate Roode & Aries like Alabama did Notre Dame (ROLL TIDE!). Roode then crotches Hardy on the top rope causing him to drop back hard onto the mat where Roode then puts the boots to him. Roode tags Aries back in by slapping Roode on the chest. Aries hits a Diving Axe Handle Drop and then drags Hardy back to the ropes and Cannonballs down onto Hardy’s leg. Aries puts Hardy in a Front Facelock and then he slams his knees into Hardy’s head. Roode tags back in and he whips Hardy into the ropes, but Hardy catches him with a Sunset Flip! Aries had the referee distracted for a minute, but he finally turns around! 1…2…NO Roode kicks out and then gets back up and nails Hardy with a clothesline! 1…2…NO Hardy kicks out! Roode spits at Storm and Aries tags back in and then hits an elbow drop for a nearfall. Aries knees Hardy in the head and then tags Roode back in and holds Hardy as Roode kicks him. Roode hits a Scoop Slam and then hits a Splash off the middle turnbuckle for a nearfall before Hardy breaks it up. Aries comes back in now and stomps on Hardy’s head and then climbs up and hits a Corkscrew Splash off the middle rope and then taunts Roode. Aries slams his forearms to the side of Hardy’s head and then tags Roode back in and they double team him in the corner. Roode hits a Vertical Suplex and then a Knee Drop. Aries tags back in and then hits a Back Suplex followed by a Knee Drop off the middle turnbuckle. Roode slaps Aries on the chest to tag himself back in and then climbs up to the middle rope and attempts a Flying Knee Drop, but Hardy gets his boots up! Hardy tries to tag out but Roode holds onto his foot and Hardy catches him with a Leaping Mule Kick and then tags Storm in! Aries tags in as well but Storm lays both heels out with clotheslines. Storm hits a Flying Forearm and then an Atomic Drop followed by a Lariat to Aries! Roode goes for a clothesline but Storm bocks it and hits a Russian Leg Sweep! Storm whips Roode into the corner and then a backdrop as he bounces out! Storm whips Aries into the corner and he floats up into an attempt as a Head Scissors as Storm charged at him, but Storm blocks it and hits an Alabama Slam! ROLL TIDE! Storm then charges at Roode in the corner but he backdrops Storm over the top. Storm lands on the apron and hits a Leaping Enziguri followed by a Running Neckbreaker! 1…2…NO Aries comes in and tries to break it up with an elbow drop but Storm moved causing Aries to hit Roode! Storm hits the Closing Time on Aries causing Aries to go flying out of the ring! Storm sets up for the Last Call but Chris Daniels runs out and distracts the referee as Kaz pulls Storm out of the ring! Storm whips Kaz into the ring steps but in the ring Hardy hits the Twist of Fate on Roode! Storm grabs Daniels and fights with him now! Hardy goes for a second Twist but Aries came in and nails him with the World Title belt!
Winners: Hardy & Storm via DQ
After the match Roode & Aries beat down Hardy. They start grabbing the World Title from each other and posing with them.
In the back Brooke talks to Bully on the phone.
Backstage Joey Ryan & Matt Morgan talk about the Tag Titles Match this Sunday. Hernandez & Chavo are actually watching from outside the room without them knowing so then they come in and jump Morgan & Ryan! The two teams brawl inside the room before Chavo finally pulls Hernandez off telling him to save it for Sunday.
The announcers run down the card for tonight with Sting/DOC, Storm/Daniels, Devon/Park, and a Knockouts Gauntlet Match (Gail Kim, ODB, Mickie, Velvet, & Tessmacher) added to the card.
Another video package hyping up the 3-Way is shown.
Kurt Angle & Anderson come down for their match. Angle calls Anderson an “asshole” before the match but then asks him when he turned into a bitch (Anderson was stalling a ton before the match) and says if he runs out of the ring again he’s coming after him. Mike Knox runs out and nails Angle with the hammer! Knox hits him repeatedly but Wes Brisco & Bischoff hit the ring along with Samoa Joe chasing him off. EMT’s come out to check on Angle. Taz & Tenay mention Angle’s history of neck issues as EMT’s bring out the backboard to take Angle out.
As Angle is being stretchered out Sting’s music hits and he comes down to the ring. He says something to Joe and then gets in the ring with his bat. Sting tells Devon to call of his troops and he’ll call of his and Knox can get his ass in the ring right now because Sting wants a piece of him! Knox accepts!
“The Icon” Sting vs. Knox
Knox gets in the ring and Sting nails him with the bat but Hebner won’t ring the bell until Sting drops it. The bell rings and Knox comes back at Sting with body shots and then sends him into the corner. Knox hits a Shortarm Clothesline and then slams Sting into the corner. Knox then chokes Sting on the middle rope before hitting him with a Body Guillotine as Sting was still draped over the ropes. Sting escapes to the floor and Knox follows but Sting catches him with a kick to the gut. Sting then slams him into the ring steps and then tosses him into the ring steps again! Sting slams him into the ring steps a third time! Sting slams him into the guardrail and then hits a Stinger Splash into the guardrail! Sting rolls Knox back in the ring and puts the boots to him. Sting grabs Knox and goes for the Scorpion Death Lock but Knox kicks him into the corner and then hits a Splash, but Sting shrugs it off and sends Knox into the corner and hits a Stinger Splash followed by the Scorpion Death Drop! 1…2…3!
Winner: Sting via pinfall (Scorpion Death Drop)
Sting grabs the hammer after the match and nails Knox in the arm with it! Sting then goes to hit him again but Devon and Aces & Eights come out and they’ve got Brooke Hogan. He says that if Sting does another thing to Knox you’ll never recognize Brooke again after they get done with her. Brooke screams something but Devon says “shutup bitch” and Devon asks Sting who’s in control now. Bully Ray runs out with chain and goes after Aces & Eights! He pulls Brooke away and Aces retreats with Knox. Hulk Hogan walks out and looks down at Bully Ray.
Back from the break Hogan says he guesses he’s supposed to save Bully Ray for saving his daughter from the danger he put her in, in the first place. Hogan says that he guesses he should have to kiss Ray’s rear end too (sarcasm). Hogan says Ray isn’t real and he’s not the man for his daughter. Ray says that Hogan is crazy and he has this whole thing all wrong. He says that he’s been in the business for 20 years and wrestling is his life. He says that all he ever cared was being the best professional wrestler that he could ever be and maybe one day be as good as Sting or as great as Hogan. He says he loves this business and it means everything to him. He says he never thought he would love anything as much as pro wrestling and then his daughter came in Ray’s wife (insert vomiting here). He says that she came into his life because she was apologizing FOR Hulk for not trusting Ray even though he had Sting’s back. Ray says he knows this has happened entirely too quick but then Hogan throws his microphone and gets in Ray’s face! Ray says he can do that too but stops and grabs Brooke and says he’s not good with all this “feelings stuff.” Ray says he’s a “hard ass” but when he’s with Brooke things are different and she makes him laugh and then he pulls out a ring and gets on his knee as Hulk looks like his head is about to explode. Ray puts the ring on her finger and he says that he loves her and he knows their relationship has played out in front of the entire world but he wants the world to know how much he loves her and wants her to marry him. She agrees and Hogan is about to kill somebody while Sting looks shocked. Ray says he wants to marry her but he wants to do it right here on Impact next week! She agrees and they kiss.
Before talking about the show tonight I want to talk about the breaking news from today about TNA’s PPV’s. If you didn’t see it earlier you can check it out here. I really love the idea of focusing on four MAJOR PPV’s every year, and then doing “special events” that TNA are going to call “One Night Only” (which will base around theme specials mainly, like the upcoming X-Division & Tag Team events) for a reduced price ($14.95). It’s very similar to the way WWE used to promote their 4 major PPVs and then have “In Your House” events the rest of the year at a reduced price (cue more TNA trying to be WWE whining) before going to the current PPV model. This is going to give TNA a chance to have longer to build to big events and big matches at the major PPV’s while still putting on exciting PPV events the rest of the month at a cheaper price yet not hurt TNA because of the smaller overhead in money they have to spend to produce the events with them being taped and taped during a weekend of TNA events. The first thing that popped into my head when I read the press release this afternoon was the chance that they could turn the BFG Series into a one night Tournament this year and many other possibilities.
Good lord that finish was horrible. I hate the wedding/relationship stuff being played out on TV and it’s never been good. I always thought this whole thing was going to play out into Bully being the one behind Aces & Eights and using Brooke to mess with Hulk (though I guess that could still happen). That was painful.
King and Ion had a really fun match as usual.
Robbie T has really been hilarious lately but they actually had him look like a monster in the ring for once this week. The problem is you can’t have a monster that’s also a comedy act.
Bradley & Cage both looked great to me and head and shoulders above every single Gut Check wrestler they’ve used so far (minus maybe York). Cage probably impressed more so than Bradley (but he was good too) but I was really shocked at how well the crowd got behind Cage without either guy really playing a heel or babyface roll going into the match.
Roode & Aries were absolute gold as a team and really gave off a Chris Benoit/Kurt Angle like vibe with their thing of arguing constantly yet still being great in the ring together.
Another Aces & Eights match, another Aces & Eights loss. What more can you say? This thing is a joke at this point and it needs something major to make it savable at this point.
Very little Genesis build was done tonight minus the World Title match and the X-Division and it looks like a 100% throw away which is not a good thing when it’s going to be one of just four “major” PPV’s this year.
1) X-Division Tournament Semifinals: Kenny King def. Zema Ion
2) Mixed Tag Match: Robbie T & Miss Tessmacher def. Jesse & Tara
3) Gut Check: Jay Bradley def. Brian Cage
4) Jeff Hardy & James Storm def. Bobby Roode & Austin Aries via DQ
5) Sting def. Knox
– Promo/Segment of the Night: Roode/Aries
– Match of the Night: Roode/Aries vs. Hardy/Storm (**1/2)
– Overall Grade: D
Scheduled for Next Week:
– TNA World Title 3-Way Dance: Jeff Hardy (c) vs. Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode
– TNA Tag Team Titles: Hernandez & Chavo Guerrero Jr. (c) vs. Matt Morgan & Joey Ryan
– X-Division Tournament Finals: Christian York vs. Kenny King
– TNA X-Division Title: Rob Van Dam (c) vs. York/King
– James Storm vs. Christopher Daniels
– Sting vs. DOC
– Knockouts #1 Contenders Gauntlet Match: ODB vs. Gail Kim vs. Miss Tessmacher vs. Velvet Sky vs. Mickie James
– Joseph Park vs. Devon
Until next week… PEACE!
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