Impact Wrestling Results…And a Hardy New Year
December 29, 2016
Recap by: Gerald Bocook of Wrestleview.com
Twelve Days of Deletion
Tonight’s Impact was split into two parts; vignettes at House Hardy and savagely edited matches from throughout the year of Matt Hardy. The opening vignette saw Matt and Reby singing Matt’s own rendition of “Twelve Days of Christmas” – “Twelve Days of Deletion”. Matt then had a premoneetion about the Seven Deities revealing the gender of the upcoming Hardy spawn.
Next, we saw Matt take Señor Benjamin and an intoxicated Vanguard 1 to Brother Nero’s house. Vanguard 1 crashes along the way and Matt says he smells of alcohol. Señor Benjamin covers for Vanguard 1, and tells him to get it together.
Upon arriving at Brother Nero’s, they find that he’s not home, so Matt has Vanguard 1 track Nero down. Willow is tracked down and found hiding in a shack and when approached, Itchweeed appears. Matt tells Itchweeed that they require Brother Nero’s presence. Itchweeed says he’ll summon Brother Nero as Matt and Señor Benjamin walk off.
Inside the Dome of The Deletion, Matt shows Brother Nero the table they signed the contract for The Final Deletion, the table that Matt drove the once-Jeff Hardy through with a Side-Effect. Matt says that the table will be Brother Nero’s cross to bear and tells the obsolete mule to pick the table up and follow Matt to some location.
Matt and Brother Nero arrive and Matt orders Nero to roll the table into a pit. Matt says that Brother Nero’s broken brilliance has manifested itself differently than in Matt, and that Nero has fulfilled his odyssey. Matt will return to Nero everything that Matt took from him; his essence, his aura, his identity, his intellectual property. If Nero wants it, he has Matt’s blessing. Matt says that he must return the shard of “Jeff Hardy” to him that was placed inside Vanguard 1 to save the life of the drone. Matt grabs Jeff’s hand and calls to the Seven Deities to restore Brother Nero. Matt then says that the table must be rendered obsolete and destroyed. Matt throws his hand forward and the pit erupts in flames as he and Brother Nero look on. Matt and Nero give their “Delete/Obsolete” chant and Vanguard 1 joins them.
Matt finally refers to Brother Nero as “Jeff Hardy”. Matt says that soon, the Seven Deities will reveal the gender of his next child and asks what Jeff would like the gender of Matt’s offspring to be. Jeff says that if it is a girl, then Matt will have a boy and a girl, a King and a Queen. If it’s a boy, that will be the next generation of them, The Hardyz, the greatest tag team of all space and time. “And they will not grow up to be spot monkeys, like the Bucks of Youth,” Matt chimes in. The two walk off.
Matt and Jeff are near the Lake of Resurrection and have been joined by Reby. Matt has his premoneetion; the Seven Deities will reveal the gender of his child at the volcano. The volcano erupts with an explosion of blue! Everyone begins to celebrate the announcement of another King coming to the throne. Matt says that House Hardy must strap Impact Wrestling to their backs and carry the promotion to the top of the professional wrestling world. Vanguard 1 arrives and Matt says that yes, of course, he may be the new child’s god parent. Everything is absolutely wonderful, yes!
Matches Highlighted
EC3 def. Matt Hardy for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship on Impact, January 5, 2016
– Final match of the World Championship Series that took place after Matt Hardy surrendered the World Heavyweight Championship following Bound for Glory 2015
Matt Hardy def. EC3 – TNA World Heavyweight Championship vs TNA Career Last Man Standing on Impact, January 19, 2016
– Tyrus betrays EC3 and joins House Hardy and Matt Hardy turns heel
Matt Hardy vs Jeff Hardy – I Quit Match on Impact, April 19, 2016
– Jeff Hardy delivers a Swanton Bomb off a staircase to Matt Hardy through two tables and the match ends with both men being taken away on stretchers
Jeff Hardy def. Matt Hardy – Full Metal Mayhem from Slammiversary 2016
– A Swanton Bomb from the top rope to the outside and through two tables was enough for Jeff Hardy after Matt Hardy declared that he was going to “delete Brother Nero”
Matt Hardy def. Jeff Hardy – The Final Deletion on Impact, July 5, 2016
– The first of the Hardy Compound “documentaries” saw the introduction of Roman candle assault rifles and Skarsgård, the dilapidated boat.
The Broken Hardys def. Decay (w/ Rosemary) – Delete or Decay on Impact, September 8, 2016
– The best of the Hardy Compound “documentaries” saw an escalation of every insane element from the original, including more Roman candle assault rifles, Matt Hardy inhaling poison mist and spitting it back out, a maniacal Señor Benjamin digging graves and burying the enemies of House Hardy, Vanguard 1 getting involved in the fight for the first time, more Skarsgård, the return of Joseph Parks, pool wrasslin’, regenerating face paint, Brother Nero taking one for the team, and the life of King Maxel hanging in the balance.
The Broken Hardys def. Decay (w/ Rosemary) – The Great War for TNA World Tag Team Championships from Bound for Glory 2016
– The Great War – the greatest conflict of our lives – saw the action spill out of the Impact Zone and to the streets of Orlando. It was finally Matt Hardy allowing Brother Nero to indulge in his obsession to deliver a Swanton Bomb off a ladder to drive Crazzy Steve through two tables that allowed the Broken Hardys to win the Great War and become Tag Team Champions of the World. I didn’t know that the redneck that took the pinfall for the DCC during Apocalypto showed up here, too. Guess I need to start getting the PPVs!
The Broken Hardys def. all comers – Tag Team Apocalypto for the TNA World Tag Team Championships on Impact, December 15, 2016
– The massive 40-minute Hardy Compound gauntlet “documentary” saw the very existence of Cameron, North Carolina and the Land of Deletion on the line as The Broken Hardys defended the TNA World Tag Team Championships against the likes of Decay, DCC, the Helms Dynasty, Rockstar Spud and Swoggle, and the Rock ‘N Roll Express. A few members of local tag teams may have been killed at the hands of Decay. The Hardys may have won, but the world-famous Bravado Brothers stole our hearts.
Next Week
– Eddie Edwards defends the TNA World Heavyweight Championship
– Moose defends the Impact Grand Championship
– Matt Hardy has a “big” announcement
– And more live from Orlando!