Ousta! Welcome back to the only WrestleView column covering topics both nowhere yet everywhere at once. If you are new to the column you are probably going to hate us for the first couple weeks, but then you are going to hit a point where you say ?oh wait a minute, I think he gets it?. Don?t worry, that’s exactly how it is designed to be. This column is all about gut reactions and traveling thoughts. As the great Andy Kaufman once said: ?I just want real reactions. I want people to laugh from the gut, be sad from the gut, or get angry from the gut?.
Thoughts of Fantasy
For those of you, who could care less about Indy wrestling, please feel free to skip to my section on the news. It’s actually amusing to me that I am about to focus a feature solely based on Indy Wrestling because years ago when I first started visiting news sites I couldn?t stand when someone would write an entire column about some obscure promotion with talent I had never heard of in my life. Because I understand that emotion I promise to always include non-Indy features in my columns [good thing I?ve got the news!]. It is my honest hope that by introducing my readers to talents individually and explaining why I think you should care, that maybe just maybe you?ll give me [and them] the benefit of the doubt.
As I announced last week, I am about to reveal my choice for first ?draftee? for my yet-to-be-named fantasy wrestling league. I?ve gotten some good suggestions for ?promotion? names, but I?ve also gotten some from my friend Chris Kelly, so please keep sending them in [his creative juices are already responsible for plenty enough themes and names in my work]. So without further adieu I present draftee number 1:
Real Name: Ben Satterly
Hometown: Newcastle, England
Other Ring Names: Jungle Pac, Darkside Hayabusa
Nickname: The Man that Gravity Forgot
Height: 5 ft. 9 in.
Weight: 172 lbs.
Finisher: British Airways [Corkscrew Shooting Star Press]
Signature Moves: Shooting Star Press &variants ? leg drop, senton; 630 & variants ? corkscrew, springboard; Moonsault & variants ? corkscrew, DOUBLE
1PW Openweight Championship
3CW Heavyweight Championship
3CW Young Lions Championship
FWA Flyweight Championship
IWF Tag Team Championship – with Harry Pain
PWG World Tag Team Championship – with Roderick Strong
wXw Lightweight Championship
wZw Zero-G Championship
I fully invite you to go on to youtube and do some searching for his videos. I?d recommend the search terms ?Pac MV? for some nice compilations and also ?Pac v. AJ Styles? for a decent match. I?m not linking to them because I don?t want to get WrestleView into any sort of legal trouble if the creators of those videos used any clips/music without permission. FYI just searching ?Pac? gets you results for either Tupac Shakur or X-Pac, neither of which are remotely close to my draftee. So be sure to use the search terms I suggested.
Well as John Cena so lovably quoted from Desi Arnaz, I?ve got some ‘splainin to do. So why on earth did I choose some random UK talent? Well one of my guidelines is that I?m not choosing any established WWE or TNA guys, and I?m sticking primarily to the Indy Circuit. This will create a sort of ?who to watch? as well as expose some great talent and maybe get them a couple more fans. I?m also keeping my talent young and fresh. I?m on the hunt for innovators that bring something special to their craft.
Pac is not your typical flippy-dippity gymanistic Indy talent. However, I have to start by mentioning two of his out of this world moves. He does a corkscrew Shooting Star Press, which is mind boggling. Now normally I dislike when corkscrews get thrown onto otherwise perfectly fine moves. In my opinion they usually just make the moves appear sloppy and disappointing. My two talent exemptions on that rule thus far are AJ Styles with his Spiral Tap, and PAC’s Corkscrew Shooting Star, it is a thing of beauty. Pac’s other move that I have to point out for the sheer craziness is his double moonsault. I mean are you kidding me? Honestly it is just one of those moves that you have to see to believe. This is why they call him ?The Man that Gravity Forgot?.
He has amazing aerial moves sure, but more importantly he uses them effectively, not just for the sake of flying. Now I?m not for one second pretending that he is perfect, far from it. His match against AJ Styles which was considered a ?Match of the Year? candidate for 1PW in 2006 has some rough patches at the beginning where he does appear to flip for no reason, but the match mellows out into some great wrestling at the end. It is easy for some guys with amazing athletic talent to not take time to learn the power and technical moves, but he has done his homework.
I?m always on the lookout for someone with some flair and pop that?ll get my attention. Pac is the kind of talent that people go to a show to see. He is a legitimate talent that drives money at the gates. Admittedly he is a tough guy to get information on. I?ve spent the past week and a half scouring the internet to pull up every article on him I could find, in the end outside of basic facts, I relied on watching videos of him to get a feel, and make sure that I made the right choice.
To find out more information, some links, and join in on the discussion, be sure to join the ?That’s A Wrap? group on Facebook. You can either search for us or click the Facebook button at the bottom of the column.
What’s in the News?
Kizarny released by WWE
-sigh, I honestly enjoyed the guy ? I?m man enough to admit it
Only 5000 tickets are left for Wrestlemania
-by default it is impossible for this to be the Wrestlemania that gives away the most free tickets, the current record stands at 15,000
Ken Shamrock busted for using steroids
-wah? A former pro-wrestler that uses steroids? That’s crazy talk
Indianapolis is currently the leading city to host Wrestlemania 27
-I personally was rooting for them to host Wrestlemania 500 [that’s some NASCAR humor for you
Hawaii upset over Rock’s portrayal of his homeland on SNL
-I mean come on, the guy has a freakin? tribal tattoo on like half his body, he obviously respects his heritage
John Cena makes a brief cameo appearance on SNL
-I didn?t catch this because they didn?t run 1000 promos for it like they have for ?12 Rounds?, by the way did you know John Cena is in a movie called 12 Rounds?
Scott Steiner murdered
-well fair enough TNA, after I made fun of the absurdly plastic knife that Samoa Joe used on Impact you follow it up by having him slice and dice another talent, fair enough
WWE RAW ? 3.8
ECW on Sci-Fi ? 1.4
TNA Impact ? 1.3
WWE Smackdown ? 1.9
WWE Stock Update
Week Ending March 13th 2009
Low ? 9.19
High ? 10.45
-Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase def. WWE Champion Triple H in a Handicap Match via forfeit
-Rey Mysterio, Finlay & Christian def. Kane & World Tag Team Champions The Miz & John Morrison
-Kofi Kingston def. Chris Jericho in a Money in the Bank Qualifying Match
-Divas Champion Maryse def. Women’s Champion Melina (non-title match)
-JBL def. CM Punk to become the new Intercontinental Champion
-WWE Tag Team Champion Primo def. World Tag Team Champion The Miz (Non-title)
-Tyson Kidd def. DJ Gabriel
-Christian wins Tri-Branded Money in the Bank Qualifying Battle Royal
-Rhino def. Sheik Abdul Bashir
-Matt Morgan & Beer Money Inc. w/Jacqueline def. The Monster Abyss & Team 3D
-Wilde w/Roxxi & The Governor def. Madison Rayne w/The Beautiful People
-Lethal Consequences & L.A.X. def. Booker T, Scott Steiner, & Motor City Machine Guns w/Sharmell
-Eric Young w/Sting def. Rocco w/Kurt Angle
-World Heavyweight Champion Edge def. Kofi Kingston (Non-title)
-World Tag Team Champions The Miz & John Morrison def. WWE Tag Team Champions Carlito & Primo (World Tag Team Championship Match)
-United States Champion Shelton Benjamin & Chavo Guerrero def. Montel Vontavious Porter & R-Truth (Tag Team Match)
-WWE Women’s Champion Melina & Maria def. Divas Champion Maryse & Michelle McCool (Divas Tag Team Match)
-Finlay def. The Brian Kendrick (Money in the Bank Qualifying Match)
-Undertaker def. Vladimir Kozlov?
TNA Destination X
-Taylor Wilde, Roxxi & The Governor def. The Beautiful People & Madison Rayne
-Brutus Magnus def. Eric Young
-Matt Morgan def. Abyss (10,000 Thumbtacks)
-Awesome Kong (c) w/ Raisha Saeed def. Sojo Bolt (Knockouts Championship)
-Scott Steiner (DQ) def. Samoa Joe
-AJ Styles def. Booker T (Legends Championship)
-Team 3D (DQ) def. Beer Money (Tag Team Championship)
-Sting [c] def. Angle (TNA World Championship)
Must Read WrestleView Column of the Week
Reality from Ringside #5 by: Doug Lackey
His take on why Wrestlemania 22 is the best ?Mania of them all. Baffled? Go give it a read!
-I successfully led the WrestleView ?Faculty? by having the most correct predictions for the TNA Destination X PPV! This is the second PPV in a row that I have held this honor [alright technically we all tied for first at No Way Out, but damnit I?m counting it]. Special thanks to Anthony Valvo and his box of gold stars for running this whole shindig. Be sure to check out his column ?From the Desk of Mr. V? weekly on WV
-?The last time I freaked out, I just kept looking down, I st-st-stuttered when You asked me what I’m thinkin’ ’bout Felt like I couldn’t breathe You asked what’s wrong with me, My best friend Lesley said:
“Oh she’s just being Miley!” The next time we hang out, I will redeem myself, My heart can’t rest till then, Whoa! Whoa! I, I can’t wait to see you again? See You Again by Miley Cyrus why?!? Because I can.
So ?that’s a wrap??. Love it? Hate it? Disagree with everything I said? Just want to chat wrestling? I?m always up for reading your thoughts so send them ?em on over.