Like when the swallows fly back to Capistrano or like when Bill O?Reilly wants to do it live, it’s time for another edition of The Shoot. I hope you all had a great week last week and I hope you fully supported Braden Walker’s nomination for the Class of 2009 Hall of Fame! With that said, let’s hit the Quick Shots!
After his first appearance on the video wire, many ROH fans took some offense to Ric Flair saying that he was there to ?endorse? the product and that when Ric Flair endorses a product they are officially considered big time. The fans of ROH made some remarks at those comments, but here’s a secret: it’s a work, people! If anything, Ric Flair was being the Ric Flair from the old NWA. Brash remarks, high life, holier than thou Ric Flair and I, for one, love it. Can?t wait to see what Flair will do in ROH as he has already called out Larry Sweeney and made mention that he will be closely watching Nigel McGuinness. Exuberance!
I know that we have all praised Chris Jericho’s work as of late, especially with the promos against Roddy Piper and Ricky Steamboat, but his material is getting really stale, really fast. Four weeks in a row, he has come out and cut, basically, the same schtick in that monotone voice and it’s almost to the point where I?m hoping they go another direction tonight on Raw. Yes, I know if you?re reading this column, it’s Tuesday and Raw already happened, but my deadline is Monday so I can only talk like I live in the past! Random thought: I think I just got an idea for next week’s column! Can you guess?
So Boogeyman got released after I stated last week that he should be one of the people that WWE would need to cut to make a brand unification work. I feel psychic now. I know it was probably complete coincidence, but let me have my moment! With that being said? C?mon Mark Henry! On top of that, McMahon seems to be causing frustration in the WWE again. According to the news report, it hasn?t affected the WWE Superstars since Vince isn?t usually upset with them. This isn?t surprising as this is how most companies work. The main boss talks to the smaller bosses, and then the smaller bosses take out their aggression on the talent. With that being said, I predict the de-push of Mark Henry soon. (Actually, that’s more wishful thinking.)
Onto the main topic at hand!
I don?t usually watch TNA all that much anymore because the product has just gotten so asinine that it’s very difficult to sit through the two hours that it broadcasts each and every week. Granted, I did tune in a couple of weeks ago because I was interested in seeing how TNA would pull off the empty iMPACT! Zone match between Sting and Kurt Angle only because Angle vs Sting has always been, from a wrestling standpoint, a dream match of mine. Needless to say, the match itself was just weird to watch. Angle and Sting made their entrances like they normally would in front of a live audience and it just looked weird. The segment at the end just made Angle and Sting look like little children with Kevin Nash playing the role of the mother and yet, this was the iMPACT! That drew a 1.3 audience, their highest rating ever. I normally don?t use text to express emoticons in a wrestling column but… o_O
With that being said, I couldn?t help but think what Angle vs Sting would be like if it were booked properly. Knowing that TNA could never pull off such a feat, and realizing that booking dream matches properly in TNA would take an inconceivable amount of effort, I just decided to fill a card with my own dream matches with one simple rule: the wrestling.
SWERVE! Thought this column was going to be about improving TNA, eh? I?m sneaky like that? sometimes. For this card, the doors are open: WWE, TNA, ROH, NOAH, NJPW, AJPW, DG, DDT, etc, etc, etc. If you are a wrestler on this planet, you are now susceptible to being booked on my dream card. The only rule is that I can?t use a wrestler that has passed on or is in no condition to wrestle anymore. I need to use current active wrestlers. That being laid out, I?m going to start at the bottom of the card and work my way up to the top. In case you were wondering, I filled the card with eight matches.
Christopher Daniels vs Chris Jericho
Much like how ECW One Night Stand started off with Jericho vs Storm, this is going to be the Junior Weight technical contest to open the show. Jericho is no longer about all flashy cruiserweight spots. He can work a very sound technical match and toward the end of his ROH tenure, so could Christopher Daniels. Having these two styles mesh together would create one awesome contest.
The Necro Butcher vs Mick Foley
I would prefer Terry Funk in Mick Foley’s role, but I believe Funk finally hung them up while Foley is still active. The Necro Butcher and Mick Foley have put their bodies through hell and many people consider Necro Butcher to be this day’s hardcore icon. Because of that, a dream battle must occur to determine exactly who is the true hardcore icon. This one will be downright brutal!
Teacher Versus Student
William Regal vs ?American Dragon? Bryan Danielson
After a thrilling opening contest and a brutal second match, it’s time to slow the pace down with a game of chess. I do realize that Shawn Michaels also trained AmDrag, but Shawn is more or less an entertainer more than a wrestler. William Regal can put on a wrestling clinic and this is what this would be if these two locked horns. Danielson and Regal have wrestled before in Memphis Championship Wrestling, but that was under a 4 minute time limit and WWE limitations. Let’s take the handcuffs off and see this game of chess play out!
King of the Cruiserweights
Mistico vs Rey Misterio Jr.
I know a game of chess can wear a crowd down, so we?ll need some high-flying cruiserweight action to pump them up. Many have considered Mistico as one of the best lucha artists in this day and age, much like they said about Rey Misterio Jr. In fact, many are calling Mistico the new Rey Misterio and that is a great honor to hold if you are a luchador. Seeing these two hook up would undoubtedly be one of the greatest lucha contests ever witnessed on the planet and I would mark out from bell to bell over this one.
Power Versus Power
Mitsuharu Misawa vs Samoa Joe
Here we have the legendary Misawa and then we have the brutal Samoa Joe. Joe actually laid out a challenge to Misawa during his tenure in Ring of Honor, but the match, sadly, never got to happen as TNA claimed Joe before anything could get booked properly. The unique feature to this match is that both men use the Emerald Flowsion (Island Driver) as a finishing maneuver. Technically, it’s now Joe’s secondary finisher as he has used the Muscle Buster more consistently, but these two bulls in the ring would be nothing short of a power struggle. It would be a game to see who could hit the move first. My prediction is Misawa would hit the Flowsion, Joe would kick out and retort with the Island Driver, Misawa would kick out and respond with the Emerald Flowsion Kai and that would be all she wrote.
If Only TNA Could Book it Right
Sting vs Kurt Angle
I made reference to this at the top of the column, but this is one of my dream matches from a wrestling standpoint. Sting still has it after all these years and Kurt Angle is good enough to carry any wrestler to a watchable match which is why this is another good pairing. In case Sting, in his age, needed a rest break, Angle has the ability to take submission wrestling and make it intense so the audience doesn?t lose interest. The technical portion of the match would favor Sting as he has most psychology in the ring than Angle does, but overall, I think these two would mesh together to create one awesome contest.
The Battle of Company Icons
Triple H vs Masahiro Chono
Despite his politics and all that, when it boils down to it, Triple H is both a great entertainer and a great wrestler. He is an icon of the WWE much like Masahiro Chono is an icon of New Japan Pro Wrestling. Chono is a big enough icon to draw the attention of one Hulk Hogan a few years ago. While Hogan isn?t the greatest wrestler, his name value speaks for itself. Having Triple H and Chono together in one ring could produce a great contest between two of the biggest company’s icons in the wrestling world today!
The Biggest Battle To Never Happen
Kenta Kobashi vs ?Nature Boy? Ric Flair
When people think of the biggest names in Japanese wrestling, one name is always mentioned: Kenta Kobashi. When people think of the biggest names in American wrestling, one name is always mentioned: Ric Flair. True fact: They never wrestled each other in the lifespan of their careers. If I had my way, I would fix that! Both men are relentless with the knife edge chop and both have the psychology and intensity to bring the best out in their opponents. Both Flair and Kobashi are extremely fun to watch and having them collide in the ring would create one of the grandest old school wrestling contests to ever be witnessed. It would make you sit back as a fan and watch only to mutter the words: This is wrestling.
There you have it. That is my dream card in professional wrestling. Now for some disclaimers before the E-Mails start flowing in. Obviously these are MY dream matches and they do not have to be agreed with. There are many wrestlers out there who would make tremendous pairings, but it is something I would consider fun to watch. The matches I listed above would be matches I would pay any price to see and would consider them to be my dream matches. If you have your own, then feel free to share them with me since that will be this week’s reader’s feedback question: What are your dream matches?
Also, this week, I?m making the feedback question a two parter. In addition to your dream matches, what would be your predictions and outcomes for the ones I listed? I would be interested in hearing your thoughts on those as well. With that said, let’s dip into the mailbag!
Terrance Vanderha wrote
good evening Josh.? I read your article about the brand extensions.? Great read.? Ive?always been of the mindset of killing off the brands.? ECW is not?the old ECW.? it looks like Heat or Velocity when they first started out.? a?few top named stars with semi-feuds and jobber work.??if?I were the wrestling GOD JBL thinks he is, I?would do this:? Acquire TNA, because?the few times I see it, it looks like WCW Saturday?Night.? Kill off ECW and?have three shows, RAW on Mondays, Impact on Wednesdays, and Smackdown on Fridays.? Treat all 3 shows as separate entities. separate schedules and the lot.? The only time you see?them together is at PPVs.? Have?4 titles on each show:? World, Tag Team, a secondary title(US, IC, and World TV), then a?division title(Hardcore, Cruiserweight/X-Division, and Womens).? cut the dead weight?wresters and make the women either wrestlers, valets, or?reporters.??Not?a combo.? Mix up your rosters and go for broke.??Dont keep the TNA original talent down and keep the EGOS at the door.?? lol
keep up the good work.
Arturo Garita wrote:
Hey man, my name is Arturo Garita, and I’ve read all your columns on Wrestleview.
I just wanted to say that while your ideas might be good, you just made a mistake a lot of wrestling fans (marks or otherwise) make. You just started throwing your own ideas in, even when you know no one in WWE is gonna listen to them or do anything about it. We’ve seen complains about the brand extension since it started. We’ve seen almost everyone complain about the exaggerated number of titles (hell, even JR!). And what has the WWE done? Ignored them. Period.?
So, while most will agree with your points of view, I really think you could have used the column for another, more productive topic, because this one will a receive a “This would be cool!” f rom some, and then be thrown into oblivion by everyone.
I think It’s worth mentioning that I’ve found all your other columns very entertaining, so keep it up!
Steven Harris wrote
I found your article very interesting; at times, I thought you had read my mind!? There are definitely far too many titles flying around (to the same old people ? but that’s for another column!).? My pet hate is the use of ?WORLD title?, when it isn?t ? it’s only open to wrestlers f rom that company, usually only wrestlers f rom that country!? Perhaps you could inform me; when was the last time that a wrestler f rom outside the U.S. or Canada actually held a ?world? title within the WWE?? I agree with you ? scrap ?world?, keep ?WWE?.? Hold a unification bout, like they did with the WWF and WCW belts.? While you?re at it, hold a tag team unification match ? and give it to anyone except Miz & Morrison ? please!? Hey, maybe they could sign Jim ? er, sorry ? John Morrison into a ?loser loses their hair? match ? then see how smug he looks!!!? And finally ? could someone please teach the ?divas? how to wrestle!? C?mon girlies, Chyna learnt it, it can?t be that difficult ? can it?
I have a reader in Scotland! I?ve gone global!
Thank you for everyone else who sent in feedback. If you wish to send feedback on the column, whether or not chocolate causes breast cancer, or if you feel that fish with transparent heads could eventually lead to the world’s demise, please send your thoughts to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Until next week…
Because I can.