Every now and then the news and facts of the wrestling world become too much to bear for the readers. Thankfully, there is a place you can go where truth doesn?t need to be supported by ?facts? or confirmed by any ?credible? people. Welcome to?
News from the Nosebleeds
Spoiler: TNA to Make Announcement
TNA sent word out this week that this Monday’s Impact! will feature a major announcement from Hulk Hogan and Dixie Carter. For those of you not willing to wait until Monday, here is the scoop: TNA will soon begin moving away from rehashed storylines of the 1990s and move into the early 2000s! ?We have a great deal of loyal fans,? said one anonymous source ?and they shouldn?t have their intelligence insulted. We can?t continue rehashing storylines from a decade ago.? With this huge news, one must wonder where TNA will go with this. What storylines will they rehash? There are limitless possibilities. ?There is quite a plethora of storylines we could use,? said the same source ?Fans seemed to enjoy that one-legged guy that was on Smackdown. Maybe we could cut off Amazing Red’s leg and so something there. You also have the potential for a necrophilia storyline with Abyss. But the real money maker lies in an incest angle. We haven?t? decided who we will use yet, but there are a good deal of families to choose from.? When asked how soon it would be before they progressed further into the future, sources said that it may not be far down the line that we see TNA rehash Hulk Hogan’s rehashing of the Montreal Screw Job. Stay tuned!
John Morrison Not Injured, But Will Be Soon
Fans were concerned this week when John Morrison appeared to have suffered an injured ankle during a match with R-Truth. Original reports stated that it was only a sprained ankle, but soon Morrison revealed that his ankle was worse than anyone expected. Morrison’s ankle was broken in three places. Speculation began as to what WWE would do with Morrison already placed in the Smackdown main event at Elimination Chamber. Would they replace him? If so, who with? How would they write the story? Fans of Morrison who felt cheated that he didn?t win the Royal Rumble breathed a sigh of relief knowing that he would have blew the main event of Wrestlemania had he won. Soon after the announcement of the injury came news that Morrison had been competing at house show events and appeared just fine. As a matter of fact, the injury had been a ?joke?.
Jokes don?t exactly take well with the wrestling community. Morrison realized this in the worst way possible when he began to be heckled by fans who called him a liar and a phony. The heckling has now grown into outright hostility and threats on Morrison’s life. One threat came in the form of a letter from a disgruntled fan threatening to track down Morrison and kill him for working the wrestling community. Authorities have had a hard time tracking the suspect since the letter was not hand written but spelled out with magazine cut-out letters.
A poll on WWE.com gives fans the opportunity to vote for new themed pay per views. Possible themes are War Games, a tournament style show, and Battle Bowl. With WWE dropping Survivor Series, it appears they will actually take things a step further by bringing back the triple tier cage from Ready to Rumble. David Arquette is already in talks to reprise his role in wrestling as World Champion.
Bryan Danielson appeared this week being billed as Daniel Bryan. Fans baffled by the name change should keep in mind Hunter Hearst Helmsley’s real name is actually Helmsley Hunter Hearst. Instead of being known as HHH, he became one HHH.
With WWE throwing out ECW, the show’s replacement needs to be something that will draw more fans than before. After toying with a show called NXT, WWE has finalized plans for the show to be called No Chance in Hell, which will feature a montage of Vince McMahon ring entrances over the course of his career. These entrances will be shown week after week on SyFy. No Chance is already expected to eclipse Raw in the ratings by Wrestlemania.
There are moments in time that stay with us forever. So many people in this world remember where they were when the towers fell in New York or when the Berlin Wall was torn down, when Michael Jackson past way or when Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift. Wrestling fans remember where they were the night Hulk Hogan slammed Andre the Giant at Wrestlemania III, or the night Monday Nitro debuted, thus beginning the Monday Night Wars. The same can be said for fans watching the night Vince McMahon appeared on Nitro and took the company out of business. Every now and then comes a match or a moment that no one can miss and after they see it, they will never forget it. Fans travel for miles to the arena. They resort to all-time lows to get tickets for an already sold out show. They go to the house of somebody they really don?t like because they are getting the pay per view and have free beer. This Sunday will be one of those great moments in wrestling history. Whoever you are, whatever you have going on, be sure that nothing is more important than what may be the greatest night in wrestling.
February 14th, 2010?
Live from the Impact! Zone in Orlando, FL?.
Against All Odds:
The Nasty Boys vs. Team 3-D