Introduction (by: Rocky Dominguez, Student of the Classroom)
Ladies and gentlemen class is in session with WV’s #1 teacher, one guy whose students don’t mind getting slammed to the mat. The one the only, Anthony J. Valvo!!!!!
Thank you, Mr. Dominguez! First Gold Star of 2010 goes to YOU, my friend!
Hello students! Wow, what an exciting Golden Yardsticks Ceremony it was, wasn?t it? Well, all good things must come to an end. Now, we must once again enter the classroom to provide the best, the worst, and the rest of the world in professional wrestling.
Apparently there were some bad boys and girls in professional wrestling that absolutely forgot that I do in fact give out detentions yet they continue to violate my rules (or I have to create new ones). Sometime during the week, I will post EVERY rule that I had in my columns from 2009 written my not only this teacher, but from the students as well. Thanks to David Stephens (That’s a Wrap), I got every rule in my system. So, there may be moments in which I will post rules during the year. However, it will be a rare occurrence as I am trying to downsize my columns a bit in 2010. I will add new features over the coming weeks, and I will tell you exactly what I plan on keeping and eliminating from columns of the past. So sit back, enjoy your Columbian Coffee or a beverage of your choosing, and keep your eyes directly on the screen. After a four week hiatus because of the Golden Yardsticks Class is FINALLY in session!
On a side note, this will NOT be the 1st Anniversary column. I started this high-acclaimed column in Early-February. Since this is Late-January, my one year has not passed yet. Look for that next week.
Quote of the Week
?Do not train children to learning by force and harshness, but direct them to it by what amuses their minds, so that you may be better able to discover with accuracy the peculiar bent of the genius of each.? – Plato
When I searched ?educational quotes?, this was the first one that really caught my eye. I could not think of a better quote to kick off my first ?real? column of 2010 than with a quote from one of the greatest philosophers in the history of mankind. To parents, teachers, and adults, remember that even when you think teaching something to a person is ?hopeless? (I never think of that word when it comes to teaching), do not yell and get frustrated. But instead, discover a new tactic.
So, before I continue, I think it is best to let you all know what Mr. V is planning to keep in his weekly columns, what he will be eliminating, and what will be on a limited basis.
Also, I remembered that a couple months ago I asked what YOU the students would like to see ?From the Desk of Mr. V?. Sadly, my e-mail was acting up and I lost all your suggestions. So, if you would like to present your suggestions to me I would consider doing that at least once in my columns by e-mailing me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Now, let me give you a rundown on what I plan to keep and remove from this column.
What will Mr. V keep in the classroom?
Quote of the Week – I will have a new quote every week. I think it is important to start off a great column with inspiring or humorous quotes. It usually sets the tone of what my column will be like during that week.
Detentions – A classroom is not a classroom without a detention portion, right? There will be a week or two when they all will have a grace period, but it won?t happen consistently.
Mr. V’s Honor Roll – I will have this portion up every week because honestly you need to know what was deemed ?good? in professional wrestling. Also, I think it is important to be as unbiased as possible and give a good grade to some wrestlers who may not be well known.
Mr. V’s Worst of the Week – We need to know what is unacceptable. The worst can be either 1) the absolute worst of the week or 2) a match that was poorly executed.
Mr. V’s Gold Stars – The staple of my column. I think MANY of my readers would love to appear on that segment. However in 2010, I will be counting how many ?Gold Stars? my classroom attains. It could be for a good deed, graduating college or high school, just let me know.
End of Class Announcements and Good Byes – I will continue the obvious here. That portion was an easy call.
What will Mr. V keep in the classroom on a limited basis?
Classroom Rules – Since my goal was reached of 100 rules in 2009, I think I will add a rule or two here and there every month or so. However, it will not be on a weekly basis as it was in 2009. I may make it weekly over the summer when school ends up here.
Headlines – If there is a headline that I think is very important and I get questions on, then yes I will address the headline. However, if wrestling is in fact light at times there is no need to keep this every week.
Commentator Report Cards – I will still give them a grade each week in my notebook, but this time instead of giving one to every commentator I decided to pick one set of commentators (starting next week). It will be totally out of random, so you wrestling commentators out there better be on your ?A? game at all times! (That means YOU, Michael Cole and Mike Hogewood).
Homework – I will be assigning at least two homework assignments a month to my students. What is a classroom without homework, right?
Predictions From the Faculty Standings – I will post these only after a Pay-Per-View
What will Mr. V be eliminating completely?
Weekly TV Wars – It was very easy to maintain at the start of 2009 with only four shows (3 from WWE and 1 from TNA). Now that WWE added another program (Superstars) and Ring of Honor added a show in 2009, the ?wars? were just too difficult to continue on a weekly basis.
Ultimate Power Rankings – WAY TOO MUCH WORK! Besides, we pretty much all know who is getting pushed and who is not based on the program, right?
What will Mr. V add in 2010?
Well, that is up to the students! I know Hunter Golden (my editor) suggested a ?Student-Teacher Conference? in honor of Amazing Red’s appearance on TNA’s Hermie’s Hotseat. I know there are many other ideas, but I would like to know what you would like to see in the ?column for the students, and mostly by the students?. Drop me an e-mail and I will pick out the best ideas.
Ok, let’s get back to the column now that I explained what will be on the column for 2010.
?If you?re a wrestler and want to make a comeback, you need to stay in shape? (From Scottie Poindexter)
He did not need a reason because I think this is completely obvious. Yes, there are some wrestlers out there that are not in the best of shape. However, they at least give it a go in the efforts to entertain the fans and the viewers who watch on their television sets.
That brings up Scott Hall once again. There were rumors swirling a couple weeks ago that he did not want to participate in TNA’s Genesis because of a pull groin. There were also rumors that he put on his wrestling attire and thought he ?looked too fat?. Now I don?t know what is true and I am not going to play Sherlock Holmes, but given his track record it is hard to go against the second rumor.
I am not one that ?jumps to conclusions? anymore when writing a wrestling column. But I will just state my honest opinion. He no-showed Turning Point 2007 for some odd reason. He backed out of wrestling TNA Genesis 2010. Why is TNA giving a man quality TV time for doing ?nothing? for the company yet loyal employees such as Eric Young (who almost had to replace Hall a second time), Beer Money, and Daniels being pushed aside because of some delinquent wrestlers?
Look, I think TNA can change for the better still. But they need to utilize the right wrestlers, the ones that want to entertain. Not the wrestlers that are just there to get some money for whatever reason unbeknown to me.
Sadly, I have been accumulating detentions for almost a month. Here is a small list of who will enter the FIRST Detention classroom of 2010.
Scott Hall – If you think you are still relevant in professional wrestling, think again! Backing out of a TNA PPV Card in the last minute was not a professional thing to do.
Brian Knobbs – Look, I had no problem with Jerry Sags. At least for his age he is still in shape to wrestle. Knobbs (though I don?t think he tries to do this) looks like he is still stuck in the late 80s.
Michelle McCool and Layla El – One probably is over in the WWE only because she is dating a champion and legend. One of them does not belong in the WWE period right now! Together, they are in a disgusting storyline that is supposed to be for the ?PG? crowd. On a side note I don?t think I would have a problem with this if it was in the Attitude Era. But based on what I mentioned in Column #50 I think the students out there get my point. The storyline is flat out disgusting for a ?PG? crowd.
WWE Creative – For allowing the McCool/Mickie James storyline to continue. Even last week, there was no reaction and the WWE had to pipe in the boos. Here is hoping Mickie wins the belt Sunday and the storyline is over!
Bubba The Love Sponge – For your idiotic tweet about Haiti. I am not going to give him any more publicity in my column.
Praxis and the ETS Series – I encountered a student who scheduled to take one of their tests, and it cancelled on her due to a minor snowstorm in my area. But instead of allowing this person to take it close to her college, what does ETS tell the aspiring teacher to do? You guessed it, the person had to drive over an hour back to where the location was! Really, how hard is it to be able to switch your test center location.
Mike Hogewood – After listening to your commentary on HDNet over the course of the month, I regret now giving the ?Worst Commentator? Rotten Apple to Michael Cole. Cole has actually improved his work in 2010 with Jerry Lawler. Hogewood has not NOTHING of significance since the start of the year. If he is still a wrestling commentator at the end of 2010, it will be considered a HUGE upset!
Alicia Fox – See? This is what happens when Mr. V is wrong. I thought the move to RAW was a great idea for Fox. But seeing her miss almost every bump in one match, I have to accept the fact that I am wrong.
Booker T – Still no word on him after his ?injury? at Bound for Glory.
TNA – For trying to create a ‘screwjob? finish on last week’s Impact. And again, enough of the WWE/Vince McMahon name bombing! Well, at least stop doing it ten times an episode.
Burger King ?Baby? – You have seen these commercials. About a guy who is dressed like a baby (and looks bigger than Samoa Joe) and apparently knows that a BK Double Cheeseburger is bigger than other companies? Yeah, he is in detention for actually playing the part.
Just For Men – They don?t know if they want Experience or Energy. I know what I want. To give that company a week in detention!
Mister V’s Honor Roll for the week of January 18 – January 22, 2010 (and the other weeks I missed due to the Golden Yardstick/Rotten Apple Awards)
Since I have a LOT of matches to go over, I will not go into detail as to why these matches made the Honor Roll. However, if you want a bit of an explanation I will e-mail you one or provide a message on Facebook.
So, here are the matches that I deemed ?Honor Roll Worthy? for the following weeks.
Week of December 21 – December 25, 2009
Distinguished Honor Roll – John Cena vs. Jack Swagger, Monday Night Raw, December 21.
High Honor Roll – HHH/HBK vs. DH Smith/Tyson Kidd, Friday Night Smackdown, December 25.
Honor Roll – Kofi Kingston/Mark Henry/Evan Bourne vs. Randy Orton/Ted DiBiase Jr./Cody Rhodes, Monday Night Raw, December 21.
Honorable Mention goes to the following: Hero vs. O?Reilly on 12/21; Cabana vs. Castagnoli on 12/21; Tatsu vs. Swagger on 12/22; C. Guerrero vs. Primo on 12/24; Kane vs. Knox on 12/24; R-Truth/Finlay/Morrison/M. Hardy vs. Punk/Gallows/Ziggler/McIntyre on 12/25; and Undertaker/Mysterio on 12/25.
Week of December 28, 2009 – January 1, 2010
Distinguished Honor Roll – Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho, Friday Night Smackdown, January 1.
High Honor Roll – ODB vs. Hamada, TNA Impact, December 31.
Honor Roll – Hamada vs. Roxxi, TNA Impact, December 31.
Honorable Mention goes to the following: HHH/HBK vs. Chavo/Big Show on 12/28; M. Hardy vs. Finlay on 12/29; Bourne vs. Knox on 12/29; Ryder vs. Dreamer on 12/29; Hamada vs. Rayne on 12/31; ODB vs. Kong on 12/31; Gaspard/JTG vs. Knox/Haas on 12/31; MVP/Masters vs. Carlito/Swagger on 12/31; Punk vs. M. Hardy on 1/1; McIntyre vs. Morrison on 1/1; Kane vs. Ziggler on 1/1; and Batista/R-Truth on 1/1.
Week of January 4 – January 8, 2010
Distinguished Honor Roll – AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle, TNA Impact, January 4.
High Honor Roll – Roderick Strong vs. Davey Richards, ROH on HDNet, January 4.
Honor Roll – Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston, Monday Night Raw, January 4.
Honorable Mention goes to: Generico vs. Titus on 1/4; HHH/HBK vs. Jericho/Big Show on 1/4; Kong/Hamada vs. Wilde/Sarita on 1/4; Dinero vs. Wolfe on 1/4; Castagnoli vs. E. Kingston on 1/4; Punk vs. Henry on 1/5; Gail Kim vs. Jillian 1/7; DiBiase Jr. vs. Masters on 1/7; Tatsu vs. Croft on 1/7; Finlay vs. Knox on 1/7; Ziggler vs. Kane on 1/8; and Jericho/Kidd/Smith vs. JTG/Gaspard/R-Truth on 1/8.
Week of January 11 – January 15, 2010
Distinguished Honor Roll – Chris Jericho vs. John Morrison, Friday Night Smackdown, January 15.
High Honor Roll – Kenny Omega vs. Chris Hero, ROH on HDNet, January 11.
Honor Roll – Christian vs. William Regal, WWE Superstars, January 14.
Honorable Mention goes to: Ryan vs. Necro on 1/11; Orton vs. K. Kingston vs. Cena on 1/11; ECW Homecoming Finale on 1/12; Primo/Gail Kim vs. C. Guerrero/Jillian on 1/14; Master J/Wang Yang vs. Knox/Haas on 1/14; Generation Me vs. Guns on 1/14; Kane vs. Ziggler on 1/15; and Mysterio vs. Batista on 1/15.
Week of January 18 – January 22, 2010
Distinguished Honor Roll – R-Truth/John Morrison vs. Chris Jericho/Drew McIntyre, Friday Night Smackdown, January 22.
High Honor Roll – Jay Briscoe vs. Mark Briscoe, ROH on HDNet, January 18.
Honor Roll – John Cena/Kofi Kingston vs. Ted DiBiase/Cody Rhodes, Monday Night Raw; January 18.
Honorable Mention goes to: Delirious vs. Dutt on 1/18; Cabana/Black vs. Aries/King on 1/18; Christian vs. Regal on 1/19; Baretta/Croft vs. Goldust/Tatsu on 1/19; and Kane vs. Jericho on 1/21.
No Worst Match of the Week (let along month). I will let them all slide. However, Khali vs. Carolina Panther would have earned the Worst Match, followed by that cage match in which Homicide is still climbing out of.
MISTER V?S GOLD STAR SEGMENT (Sponsored by: JR’s Family Bar-B-Q! These products can?t be beat, students! In my grade book, JR’s BBQ and Chipotle Ketchup get an ?A+? in my book! Wow, that was cheesy. Ok, deal of the week will have to be ?Jerky-Mania?! Six packs of Beef Jerky (which is under the letter Jerky, Beef in the Alphabet of Manliness by Maddox) and an autograph of JR at a great price. Check out www.jrsbarbq.com for details. Tell him Mr. V sent ya so maybe I can get some free Chipotle Ketchup)
Alright, Gold Stars plenty today classroom! It may be for wrestling. It may be for an act of kindness. But it will always be a surprise!
Ricky Langston – I told you would have one once I started this back up, so here you go!
Logan Shulo – I hope I get this right, but I heard from Sean Hurley (WV Columnist and fellow Pittsburgh Resident) that you are a weekly reader of my column. Since I am honored that you read this often I will present you with a Gold Star!
Crystal Mai – One of my ‘students? just scored a column on www.diva-dirt.com! It truly brings a tear to my eye when one of my readers now begins their journey into professional wrestling journalism. I am proud of you!
The cast of ?From Headlocks to Headlines? – I may forget some of you, but to CJ Bowman, Chris Kelly, and Evan O?Brien I say nice work on informative Wrestling news, and recaps. I am already a huge fan of the work.
Dr. Death Steve Williams – May you Rest in Peace. One of the most underrated wrestlers of all time and truly one that will be missed.
Georgiann Markopoulos – A true pioneer of journalism in professional wrestling passed away this week. I never met her and only known of her work for a couple years, but she truly was one of the best writers and followers of pro wrestling. May she Rest in Peace.
Anthony DeBlasi and Kevin Castle – They both are great friends of mine on another radio show that I listen to every week.
To the people of ?Counting the Lights? – A Pittsburgh-area Wrestling Blog that is informative and very very entertaining! It is definitely a very original site that you have to check the archives on! Check them out at countingthelights.com
To all with winners of my Golden Yardsticks – Now have a Gold Star as well!
John Cena – For cutting some pretty good promos recently.
Andy Knowles and Mike Siciliano – A big THANK YOU for allowing me to be on the Pro Wrestling Rewind recently.
Adam Martin – You earn one for all the hard work you put into this site. And for allowing me to do the Fishbowl this past week.
Joe Baiamonte – If you have not read his 50th column, consider that a homework assignment. Never have I laughed so hard at reading a column than I did right here.
To all wrestlers in my ?honor roll? – So many names, so I will just give you all a star this week.
Serena Deeb – Welcome to the WWE! I have to say what she did on Smackdown was gutsy, but I am glad she is on the active roster right now.
Ezekiel Jackson – For being the #1 Contender and a serious threat to Christian’s Title.
Indianapolis Colts and New Orleans Saints – Congrats to both teams on making it to the Super Bowl! Sorry that I am not as happy as I was at this time last year, as my Pittsburgh Steelers were in it. You want my early prediction: Colts 35; Saints 24.
Ring of Honor – For finally bringing in a TV Title Belt. This was probably the best time to do it and it will definitely have some staying power. I looked at the brackets and I think each first round match should be pretty good. My pick to win it all right now? I think it will come down to Colt Cabana, Kevin Steen, or Claudio Castagnoli (though Rhett Titus would be great as TV Champ). I would bet a buck or two on Cabana to win the belt.
I am sure to give out more throughout the year, but my fingers are tired and I must wrap this up. If you have a suggestion on who deserves a gold star, I would love to hear it.
Homework Assignment (Due in the coming weeks)
1) I put my 2009 Dream Tournament on hiatus and I hope that none of you forgot that it is still in progress. I have the winners of the Quarterfinal Round and all were pretty close. Here are the Winners and in the Semi-Finals of the Tournament! Please give me your pick on who would win the Semifinals of this Tournament. Thank you.
Results: (1) Chris Jericho def. (9) John Cena 12-8; (13) CM Punk def. (5) Christian 13-7; (3) Kurt Angle def. (27) The Undertaker 11-9; (7) Randy Orton def. (2) AJ Styles 12-8.
Semi-Finals (please provide your pick by next week)
(1) Chris Jericho vs. (13) CM Punk
(3) Kurt Angle vs. (7) Randy Orton
2) As I mentioned before, I would like to do a couple new ideas for the column. I am going to ask what you would like to see in the coming weeks. I am willing to read your suggestions, so drop me a line and I can figure something out.
End of Class Announcements
I forgot to give you the Final Results one for 2009 Weekly TV Wars, so here you go:
Friday Night Smackdown (64 Points) **Clinched Best Show of 2009**
Monday Night Raw (48 Points)
TNA Impact (46 Points)
ECW (29 Points)
ROH on HDNet (14 Points)
WWE’s Tribute to the Troops (2 Points)
List of Winners for the 2009 Golden Yardsticks (in case you did not read them last month):
Best Gimmick – Chris Jericho’s ?Conspiracy Victim? (WWE)
Best Finisher – Young Bucks/Generation Me’s More Bang for your Buck (ROH/TNA)
Best Weekly TV Show – Friday Night Smackdown! (WWE)
Best RAW Guest Host – Jesse ?The Body? Ventura (WWE)
Rookie of the Year – Sheamus (WWE)
Best Television Announcer – Matt Striker (WWE)
Most Hated Wrestler – Chris Jericho (WWE)
Most Popular Wrestler – Jeff Hardy (WWE)
Match of the Year – The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania 25 (WWE)
Most Underrated – Daniels (TNA)
Best High-Flyer – AJ Styles (TNA)
Best Brawler – The Big Show (WWE)
Best Technical Wrestler – Chris Jericho (WWE)
Most Charismatic – John Cena (WWE)
Best on the Microphone – Chris Jericho (WWE)
Most Improved – Dolph Ziggler (WWE)
Comeback of the Year – Mick Foley (TNA)
Feud of the Year – Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho (WWE)
Women’s Wrestler of the Year – MsChif (SHIMMER/ROH)
Lifetime Achievement – Paul Nemer (WrestleView)
Tag Team of the Year – The American Wolves (ROH)
Most Outstanding Wrestler – Christian (WWE)
Wrestler of the Year – Randy Orton (WWE)
List of Rotten Apples for 2009:
Worst Gimmick – Cody Deaner as a ?Redneck? (TNA)
Worst Feud – ODB vs. Cody Deaner (TNA)
Most Appalling Storyline – Michelle McCool bullying Mickie James? weight (WWE)
Worst Television Announcer – Michael Cole (WWE)
Worst Woman Wrestler – Lacey Von Erich (TNA)
Worst Match – 25-Diva Battle Royal at WrestleMania 25 (WWE)
Worst (or Most Overrated) Wrestler – Booker T (TNA)
Well, that does it for me this week. I thank you all for reading and I hope you did enjoy this column as much as I typed it out. If you want to get a hole of me during the week, please e-mail me at email@example.com or by leaving me a message on Facebook.
Now, students you are allowed to leave the classroom. Please push in your chairs, line up straight, and exit to the closest door around you. Until the ROH Recap or the Predictions article, you are??DISMISSED!!!!
Mr. V does read e-mail, so drop the teacher a line: firstname.lastname@example.org.
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If not for the students, there would be no Mr. V. Thanks for Reading.