Ousta! Welcome back to the only WrestleView column covering topics both nowhere yet everywhere at once. If you are new to the column you are probably going to hate us for the first couple weeks, but then you are going to hit a point where you say ?oh wait a minute, I think he gets it?. Don?t worry, that’s exactly how it is designed to be. This column is all about gut reactions and traveling thoughts. As the great Andy Kaufman once said: ?I just want real reactions. I want people to laugh from the gut, be sad from the gut, or get angry from the gut?.
Special thanks to all of the readers that e-mailed with their lists of things that they are thankful for in wrestling. They were very enjoyable reads. In particular, special thanks to Anthony Valvo (From the Desk of Mr. V) and reader Brandon from Texas, who sent me their whole lists from A-Z. I?m going to push a couple on here that I think are worth mentioning:
A = Altas and Abe. When it was just Abraham Washington, I was a bit concerned. But you throw in a Hall of Famer that has one of the worst laughs (but catchy) ever, then you have a dynamite segment no matter how bad they are.
F = The foreign objects. I love it when the wrestlers reach up under the ring apron in anticipation on what item they’ve specifically placed away to inflict more damage on their opponent. Muahahahaha!
J – Jaw-Jacking. I love it when a wrestler is not only beating a guy up, but takes the time to narrate it to them.
N = Almost went with Narnia, but I instead will go with Nigel McGuinness (aka Desmond Wolf). For years I was a fan of his and to see him now on a bigger stage is a pretty thrilling sight.
Q = quirkiness. I love it when a wrestler finds something that gets on another wrestlers nerves & keeps doing it. Like when Rock ‘N Sock first got together & Mankind kept stealing The Rock’s lines. That was hilarious.
U = Undertaker’s WM Streak. May it NEVER be broken.
Alright, and now I am going to hand off my column to Jared who has a bone to pick with the ECW General Manager Tiffany. I put out 40 pages of papers over the course of 60 hours in the past three days to get some of my college papers done, so needless to say my mind for writing is exhausted. Enjoy!
Jared’s Kayfabe Reality
?I?m insatiable, I can?t get enough, I need to find a boy?
Are you serious? This must be a joke. For some mind blowing reason, those are the lyrics to the theme song of ECW General Manager Tiffany. Yes that’s right, the General Manager of the WWE’s third largest brand has a bubble pop theme song which begs for a boy in her life. That is the dumbest theme I?ve heard in quite some time.
This actually really makes me angry. ECW has had a string of fairly catchy themes over the past couple of months including Zack Ryder’s ?Oh Radio?, Yoshi Tatsu’s Techno, Re-mixing Christian’s Theme, and even Caylen Croft & Trent Beretta debuted with an epic number. Yet, what I am left baffled by is why the most powerful person in all of ECW has been given an absolute piece of crap.
Wrestling themes are incredibly important for a given character. I won?t go overboard on the subject because there have been several great columns written here on WrestleView on the subject. I would just point my finger to Zack Ryder, a wrestler whose theme was probably the most influential aspect of his push and ability to get over with the crowd. When the WWE assigns an employee a theme song, it is an identity that fans will recognize within the first two bars of music. If you can create a theme that gets the fans excited and popping even before the wrestler has walked out from behind the curtain, then you have a potential blockbuster star on your hands.
Before someone e-mails me saying that the song itself isn?t that bad as a theme. I will partially agree with you. The thing here is that if Tiffany was just a regular Diva, if she was only doing the bikini contests she still does in FCW or something along those lines it would be fine. We all know that Tiffany was a Playboy model, which is fine. The theme would fit that character.
Instead, we are supposed to believe that this boss and power figure would come out to a song essentially begging for a guy and sex. That makes absolutely no sense. Think of when Vince McMahon’s theme music hits. ?No chance in hell? isn?t just a catchy a title, it is a description of his character. That theme, rightly so, strikes FEAR into people. Tiffany’s? Not so much.
Did any thought go into this decision whatsoever, or is the WWE music department suddenly brain dead? I refuse to accept the fact that someone played this song and thought, oh that makes perfect sense for a General Manager. It’s hard enough to take her serious as the GM, why make it more difficult by painting her as a slut?
This make no sense! For the love of God, put some thought into these decisions. I?m so disgusted. Seriously, this is just so dumb.
That’s enough from me, I?m handing back off to Dave, talk to you guys next week!
What’s in the News?
All news is gathered from WrestleView.com unless otherwise noted
-InDemand has revealed the poster for the upcoming TNA Genesis PPV on Sunday, January 17, 2010 featuring Kurt Angle, AJ Styles and Hulk Hogan on the cover. The event carries the tag line: “Hulk Hogan returns to Pay Per View.”
-TNA held a surprise drug test at the last set of TV tapings in Orlando, FL reports The Wrestling Observer Newsletter. Were told they had around a 25% failure rate the last time they did drug testing in the company and since no one was told ahead of time this round of testing was taking place then the results could be quite high. No one was punished when testing positive the last time.
-According to The Wrestling Observer/Figure Four Online, Rey Mysterio plans to work through his knee injury until after WrestleMania 26 where he will then undergo his sixth surgery on his left knee.
-Corporate.WWE.com has updated some new financial information that includes PPV buyrate estimates for three of the company’s new gimmick-concept events.
WWE Breaking Point drew under 200,000 buys, making it the least successful event of 2009. The submission-themed show featured The Undertaker’s first WWE match since WrestleMania. By comparison, the event that Breaking Point replaced (WWE Unforgiven) drew close to 225,000 buys last year. WWE recently released its PPV schedule for 2010 and WWE Breaking Point was not part of the schedule, so this event may be a one time affair.
WWE Hell in A Cell PPV, which featured three Hell in a Cell cage matches, drew around 300,000 buys, way up from the 261,000 buys that No Mercy 2008 drew.
WWE Bragging Rights, which featured a Raw vs. SmackDown theme, drew approximately 200,000 buys. This is a big improvement over the event it replaced (Cyber Sunday,) which drew 153,000 buys in 2008.
-According to The Wrestling Observer/Figure Four Online, TNA is going to start doing a deal where if you show up at Universal Studios at the Impact Zone for tapings on December 7, 7 or 21, they will give you a free TNA DVD when the show is over.
-Hulk Hogan officially announced on tonight’s UFC “Ultimate Fighter Finale” in Las Vegas alongside Joe Rogan that Monday, January 4 would feature a special three-hour edition of TNA Impact going head to head with WWE Monday Night Raw. TNA President Dixie Carter and Eric Bischoff were also in attendance and were shown on camera.
-Former TNA Knockout Angelina Love is said to be telling people at indy dates that she is returning to TNA reports The Wrestling Observer Newsletter. There is said to be zero talk within TNA about her making a return anytime soon.
-There is talk within WWE about dropping the ECW name from the Tuesday night show reports The Wrestling Observer Newsletter. The show itself may not change, but the SyFy network is said to be upset about the falling ratings for the show. The show right now is barely above the network primetime average and averages around a 0.9 every week so it isn’t doing much to boost the weekly average of 28 hours in primetime. The show could soon be repackaged and given another chance to perform stronger in the ratings.
-While most reviews for Jesse Ventura as host of Raw last week were good, The Wrestling Observer Newsletter reports that the reaction to Ventura internally was not favorable at all with most poeple saying he came off like he was way above it.
-Monday, Oleg Prudius (Kozlov) became a U.S. citizen during a swearing in ceremony in Tampa, Florida. The St. Petersburg Times did a front page story on the WWE wrestler.
-Former WWE diva Stacy Keibler will appear in the 100th episode of How I Met Your Mother on CBS. The episode airs on January 11 with Keibler playing a hot bartender who one of the main characters attempts to bed.
-The Wrestling Observer Newsletter reports that there were discussions with Booker T, but negotiations with WWE are said to be dead at this point.
RAW 11/30 ? 3.18
ECW 10/20 ? 1.0
iMpact 10/22 ? 1.0
Smackdown 11/27 ? 2.1
WWE Stock Update
Week Ending December 4th 2009
Open ? 16.07
High ? 16.40
Low ? 15.76
Close ? 16.39
Volume ? 1,130,786
RAW December 7th
-Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase def. Evan Bourne & Primo
-Maryse def. Gail Kim
-Kofi Kingston def. Randy Orton
-United States Champion The Miz def. Mark Henry
-Eve & Hornswoggle def. Jillian & Chavo Guerrero
-DX vs. Chris Jericho ended in a No Contest
ECW December 8th
-Vance Archer def. Tommy Dreamer
-Trent Barreta & Caylen Croft def. local competitors
-ECW Champion Christian, Shelton Benjamin & Yoshi Tatsu def. William Regal, Ezekiel Jackson & Vladimir Kozlov
Superstars December 3rd
-The Legacy def. Evan Bourne & Primo
-The Hurricane def. Zack Ryder by Disqualification
-Dolph Ziggler def. Matt Hardy
TNA Impact December 3rd
-Alex Shelley w/Chris Sabin def. Doug Williams w/Brutus Magnus & Rob Terry
-Suicide def. Homicide
-D?Angelo Dinero def. Jesse Neal
-?Showtime? Eric Young & ?Big Sexy? Kevin Nash def. Beer Money Inc.
-?Fallen Angel? Daniels def. ?The Monster? Abyss
-Hamada def. Sarita
-Main Event Handicap Match: ?Olympic Hero? Kurt Angle def. Raven & Stevie Richards w/Daffney
Smackdown December 4th
-Unified Tag Team Champions Chris Jericho & Big Show def. Cryme Tyme
-The Hart Dynasty def. Eric Escobar in a Handicap Match
-Drew McIntyre def. Intercontinental Champion John Morrison
-Mickie James def. Beth Phoenix and Natalya in a Triple Threat Match to decide the No. 1 Contender to the Women’s Championship
-Kane def. Mike Knox
-R-Truth def. CM Punk by disqualification